I'm worse than a woman for emotions

LegacyUser

Hey, is it normal for a bloke to cry at movies? I dont mean sad movies, i mean like any movie with any sorta emotion. saw the break up, durin the middle i was nearly cryin. saw Click, was nearly cryin when <spoiler>he was gettin old and saw his missus off with another man, then the bit where he died</spoiler>. by nearly i mean i had a lump in me throat and was holdin it in. totally wellin up. i could nearly cry at anything. there was a comedy a month or so ago that i start nearly cryin at. its gettin beyond a joke. think it may have even been Pirates of the Caribbean 2 or some crap like that, can't remember tho. basically, its any sad/emotional(to do with breakups & death pretty much only).

I'm not depressed, not on drugs, not sick, healthy average person, or so I think. i just wanna know what the f**k is goin on with me. is this normal?

When did this start? ah ha! i THINK it got to this stage (was always kinda mildly like this since I saw Empire of the Sun when i was bout 11) after a break up! ah ha, there we go. or is it*? i'm not sure. maybe it's like a chemical imbalance? but does that happened to early 20's males? that's what my head is like.

*broke up with long term gf nearly 2 years ago, but didnt even register we were broken up til bout last september (nearly a year after "D-Day"), then it kicked in. bout a month of cryin meself to sleep. it was a killer. especially the knowledge that she seemed over me & was off "enjoyin" herself around town wit a "few" fellas. couldn't listen to James blunt or any of them types of songs til recently (hehe a good thing some may say) coz i think his songs really hit the spot. 100%. tears me apart inside. still not fully able to listen without a twinge. otherwise i'm fine listenin to them tho (if they're on the radio, coz obviously i don't have them on me PC )

Basically, am I mental? i grew up without feeling any emotion. i was always just like "meh" whatever. As in, say if something major would happen, i wouldn't care. I just felt it was a relativel minor event compared to other stuff happenin, or stuff that could possibly happen. this breakup (which I do actually feel may be the cause, mainly coz its so glaringly obvious!!) seems to have brought out a more emotive "me". i have a new gf, tho its not serious. started off as a one night thing, she was good in the sack, so kept it up rather than havin the balls to end it. i'm not sure its healthy to "get over it" but i thought/think im over it. she also wasnt the first girl i've slept with since the last. theres been quite a few. but if i am over it, why am i cryin at any/all films like a little bitch! as a fella, the abuse i'd get of me mates. they're OK with it in regards to other aspects. like i've cried in front of them on a few occasions, most recent was bout december, or actually, in the local, at closin, me mate brought up me ex as we were leavin and i sorta had to just walk home bitin me lip holdin it in and they knew quite well. he was sayin that i shouldnt let her go if i still love her. not sure what to do. do i really want her back? i dumped her coz i was too young to be tied down. ****in eejit. she seems happy in her life, and doesnt wanna get tied down again. we speak every day, not bout "us" tho, ever, we're just like bro & sis. it would never even come up. it wouldnt even cross either of our minds. maybe one/both of us are supressin it? shes startin gettin panic attacks and slight agrophobia or whatever its called. but thats 99% unrelated as far as either of us are concerned.

but, is this the cause of my emotions? could it just be a simple medical issue? or does it seem psycholgical, as i suspect? or am i just more emotionally inclined than other fellas, and able to identify with characters and events in movies better than my male peers/societies norm? btw, this post was half therapy, half seeking advice. thanks for readin, if u did!

Ruu_Old

Your spoiler tags aren't working friend. Replace the ( ) with the [ ].

As for emotions, well I can't remember the last time I cried it must have been sometime ago. I wouldn't be too worried about your mates as some of them probably do the same.:) I doubt its something medical, people express emotions different ways and for you its crying. Nothing wrong with that.

CathyMoran

I do not see any harm in men showing emotions - to me it takes a real man to have emotions. My father who is the most wonderful man I know has always had a tear in his eye when he talks about his dead father, he is very proud of his kids (as well as being the best friend and father).

To the OP - if you do feel that your emotions have changed then of course go to a doctor if you feel fit, it may be just a part of growing up though?

free2fly

Ruu wrote:

Your spoiler tags aren't working friend. Replace the ( ) with the [ ].

As for emotions, well I can't remember the last time I cried it must have been sometime ago. I wouldn't be too worried about your mates as some of them probably do the same.:) I doubt its something medical, people express emotions different ways and for you its crying. Nothing wrong with that.

I know alot of men who cry. I wouldn't worry about it. And it looks like you may have answered your own question if this all began when you and your ex broke up

metrovelvet

broke up with long term gf nearly 2 years ago, but didnt even register we were broken up til bout last september (nearly a year after "D-Day"), then it kicked in. bout a month of cryin meself to sleep

It sounds like a delayed cumulative reaction to all you didnt let in over the years. [I went through something similar - its not "normal" for either men or women btw to cry like this- in Tesco at some stupid song or at a comedy that tickles your wound-and to be always at the edge of tears with a rock in your throat]. The mean price of repression.

grew up without feeling any emotion. i was always just like "meh" whatever. As in, say if something major would happen, i wouldn't care. I just felt it was a relativel minor event compared to other stuff happenin, or stuff that could possibly happen. this breakup (which I do actually feel may be the cause, mainly coz its so glaringly obvious!!) seems to have brought out a more emotive "me".

Grief cannot be codified. It sounds like the loss/wound is hitting you in sneaky ways. Its just something you have to go through. It will pass. Theres no worse feeling than sad. Sorry your going through this. Its no reflection of your masculinity, its pain finding its way out.

Marksie

I dont think its a bad thing actually.

I feel emotional at times. Certainly sometimes it is due to an old grief
Sometimes its just for pure joy.

Releaseing the emotion is better than bottling it in I guess.