Confidence prob - I wear glasses

LegacyUser

I'm 18, i'm in college. While i'm normally pretty laid back about stuff, i'm pretty shy-ish around girls.

I'm slim and toned, but i wear glasses and i'm convinced that this automatically gives off this girly geeky vibe that's off-putting to girls.

Is it true? If girls see a slim-build guy with glasses,does it automatically conjure up a computer programmer geek persona in your heads?

It really knocks my confidence as that's how i see other people seeing me, if that makes sense.

So opinions please??

-zANE

GrumPy

zANE_eNAZ wrote:

Is it true? If girls see a slim-build guy with glasses,does it automatically conjure up a computer programmer geek persona in your heads?


-zANE

Well ARE you a geek, studying computer programming? I agree with ya, I wear glasses and reckon its pretty off putting!!

spurious

When people see you, they see what you want to see.

If you're thinking...oh my God , I look like a geek in these glasses, even I wouldn't fancy me, then that's the vibe you give off.

If you think, I'm a sexy devil in my slim, toned body and these glasses make me look intelligent and caring too, any girl would be lucky to get me, then that's what they will see.

Glasses do not stop you getting the ladies. Lack of confidence does.

Look at girls when you talk to them, make them laugh, listen to what they say, touch them lightly on the arm as you speak to them. Stop thinking about having to get a girl and one will fall into your lap, or wherever else you fancy.

If you've ever seen the movie 'Swingers' - you're 'money' baby, and once you start believing it, others will too.

fuzzywiggle

To be honest I don't even notice glasses. They can be very cute though. If you're that bothered why don't you wear contacts?

Colm_OReilly

As someone who works on this area, spurius is pretty on the money. Funny how I used to joke with friends about watching that movie until you get Vince Vaughn's mentality.

Confidence is a major factor. I'm guessing here that you are thinking of yourself, how you look, how you come across, what you have to say in an interaction. Generally when you're confident, you accept yourself, and so your focus is on the other person.

If you PM me I can share some specific techniques on how to build confidence. Offer is open to anyone else btw.

From an appearance point of view, your physical appearance matters to some degree - although not as much as guys think. People form opinions very quickly - and make assumptions based on very little info. If you think about what image you want to convey, your dress (including glasses/contacts) will change accordingly.

Also, I'm sure there's some movie stars or powerful people who wear glasses. I've seen pics of Johnny Depp wear them. Anyone else know of other celebs with glasses? It might help if you see yourself like these people, instead of like Bill Gates.

Hope this helps,
Colm

ams

I used to feel the same way about glasses - I always had totally skankin ones when I was younger and I still thought of glasses in this way. Used to just take them out of my handbag when the bus was coming to see the number on it and straight back into the bag again!!

Then I got glasses that I really liked and it changed my opinion about looking nerdy etc. Splash out on a funky nice pair and you'll feel way better about yourself!

connundrum

My glasses are a part of me, and I don't feel it hinders anything (apart from when I'm playing footy and forget I still have em on - oowww).

The confidence has to be in you, not in what accessories happen to be a necessary part of your attire.

Saying that, I've started to wear contacts very recently and I find them brilliant for when I'm out. Is there a reason why you haven't considered them?

Crucifix

You could try and drag an honest female friend with you next time you pick out glasses, might help with your confidence about them if you knew you had some nice ones. Or as suggested go for contacts.
To be honest I don't think the majority of girls have a big problem with glasses. And anyways, Nerds are in this season.

Marksie

Glasses these days can be very very stylish and a fashion accessory .

Go for those.
They can add a sense of maturity as well.

If you are conscious about them then it will show.
alternatively, if going on dates etc. go for contacts

luckat

Depends on your face, too. Some people look better in glasses, some without. (Look at the film Private Benjamin with Goldie Hawn. In the middle somewhere she has a romance with a French aristocrat, who's a hunk without the glasses but looks like Miss Priss as soon as he puts them on).

If you feel ugly in the glasses, do as Crucifix suggests and bring an honest friend; you could also go to Fitzpatricks in Terenure, where there's a woman who is a genius at finding the right designer glasses for your face.

You might also try out contacts; most guys seem to alternate between specs and contacts nowadays if they need eye help.

Spurious's advice is good; I'd also add that if you want to be beloved of either sex, you should listen more than you talk, and lay on the appreciation with a trowel. None of us objects strongly to the comment "What an intelligent, insightful thought - I wish I'd thought of that!"

TheTruthFairy

I think glasses look great, I always always go for men in glasses.

A friend of mine switched to contacts recently, personally I think he looked much better with his glasses on.

There are loads of really nice spectacles these days, go to an optician and try some pairs on.

Zapho

Couple of things. I'm basically you're typical computer nerd/geek, studied comp eng in college. I wear glasses sometimes too, for distance. But people don't see me as a geek, and it hasn't affected my social life. Wearing glasses doesn't label you in most cases unless you've kicked a pair that really don't suite you. So I'd agree with Crucifix. When I got my glasses I brought a friend of mine, she's an artist so I thought she'd be good at this kinda thing. Anyway it worked out great.

Also a good way to aviod being labelled a computer geek is to not constantly talk about computers to everyone. I'm not saying that you do, but if you do, then don't! Apart from that, just be yourself!

Ickle Magoo

zANE_eNAZ wrote:

I'm 18, i'm in college. While i'm normally pretty laid back about stuff, i'm pretty shy-ish around girls.

I'm slim and toned, but i wear glasses and i'm convinced that this automatically gives off this girly geeky vibe that's off-putting to girls.

Is it true? If girls see a slim-build guy with glasses,does it automatically conjure up a computer programmer geek persona in your heads?

It really knocks my confidence as that's how i see other people seeing me, if that makes sense.

So opinions please??

-zANE

I love a guy in glasses, I think it looks really sexy :cool:

seamus

Some people look like complete nerds in their glasses. But that's not because they wear glasses, it's because they're wearing the wrong type of glasses. Much like shoes, pants and shirts, some glasses are designed for dark people, some for broad people, some for short people, some for light people. In essence, you need to pick a pair that suits you. Perhaps you already have. If so, great.

I think it's a common stigma from growing up with glasses and feeling a little like the oddball in school with your huge "You'll grow into them" glasses. I know a few people, and myself included, who feel that little bit more self-conscious when wearing glasses. Contacts certainly helped me a little, but looking back on it, before I started wearing contacts I wore big nerdy glasses. So there's no real comparison.

spinandscribble

yeah you are right, i get more attention from guys since i started wearing contacts. but saying that i've met some guys who told me they like girls in glasses.
personally, i've liked guys in glasses. sometimes nerdy can be good. theres a type of nerdy which is charming and cool but can be hard to pull off unless it comes natural. saying that glasses dont always look nerdy. if the frames are boring and look like "please god let theses be barely noticable" then its a bit of a turn off. find a style of frame that suits you and try contacts.
i didnt want contacts for years coz i thought it was shallow and silly how everyone kept telling me to get some, as well as insulting that they thought i looked better without them. turns out its freeing not wearing them the whole time and its nice to have a choice.

AngryBadger

Glasses are not off-putting, however a guy who's obviously really embarrassed about wearing glases is off-putting because it seems like he has no confidence.

I realise I'm plugging this kind of thinking all the time, but it's true, i wear glasses after all. Worst case scenario, get a nice flashy frame, I have two pairs of glasses, I wouldn't consider either particularly fashionable, nor myself particularly fashion-aware, but one of them is much smaller to accomodate thinner lenses for a weaker perscription, and I get told it looks real gooood.

So if it's an issue for you maybe look into getting a different set of frames.

c - 13

OP - used to be in the exact same situation, worn glasses for about the last 8 years and never liked them, it wasnt so much a vanity thing I just felt they were an inconvenience that could be gotten rid of, got lenses nearly three years ago and never looked back.

Love my lenses, most people look shocked when I mention I wear lenses now. That said I still have a pair of glasses for around the house and giving my eyes a rest form the lenses now and again.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies people.

I'm not exactly lacking in confidence, but wearing them does stay in the back of my mind from time to time. I feel a bit stupid really for feeling concious of them, but it can't be helped - i'm hoping these comments will perk me up a bit!

By the way if i offended any computer workers i'm sorry, it wasn't intentional i'm just trying to get across my point.

Wearing contacts isn't exactly an option for me at the moment, it has affected members of my family before when wearing them so i think we're just not suited to wearing them, unfortunately.

I'll try to stay confident, upbeat and forget about them, i think if i can get it into my head that nobody else notices them, then i'll be fine.

Dub_Ster

ok

if you continue to think , oh look at me i feel like a nerd , i have glass's im a nerd women dont care about glass's they dont really care about how you look ,

all you need is a sence of humer, a small amount of sarcasim and charm ....

Embrace your insecuritys about your glass's and dont try hide them , i have bad teeth (which creates interest )and i cant smile very well i tell ther girls that and i still get a snog , etc ,you just have to show that you have nothing to hide ...

and dude some women like glass's use them to your advantage ......

Ruu_Old

Different people see different things. I'm scrawny and wear glasses, but I don't even notice them anymore and I don't think anyone else really cares whats on your head.

constitutionus

to be honest man maybe you should just try out a new frame. these days you can get frames that are practically rimmless so thats the route you should go if you feel the frames are too dominating on your face.

ive been wearing glasses for the last 20 years and most girls i know like em. they seem to attach notions of sophistication and intelligence to em. christ knows they shouldve copped on by now considering im usually staring at their breasts but there you go seriously though, just invest in a stylish looking frame that suits your face. you can get a really good selection now and it doesnt have to be designer either

Sarn

As said above buy a stylish pair of glasses (or go with contacts). One of my best purchases ever was a pair of glasses, as they were a bit unusual at the time I had a lot of women commenting on them on nights out (was a great way to break the ice). Sadly they broke and I am now a mere mortal.