cant let it go

lostone

Well...where to start...im 17...met my ex at work things were great except that she was 18 and was leaving for University after the summer...well we broke up after 4 months...its not really all that long but was the longest real relationship i ever had and i felt/feel that i love(d) her....after we broke up things were good like she obv still liked me but felt it was best since she was leaving to end things and she said she still wanted to hang out...we talked about it while we were together that if something happened we would be friends...anyway a few weeks after she was at a party with my friend who also works with me and her...they ended up kissing...mind you they were drunk but the fact that the guy was my sisters ex also of like 48 hours it was messed up...well im not one to hold grudges really or stay mad long and by the end of the day i had lost the urge to make him suffer and talked to him and he seemed pretty remorseful so i was like w/e...fine. So i let it go with both of them and told her i still wanted to be friends and hang out or w/e....a few days later i hadnt talked to anybody about it and ended up getting mad at her...w/e she said it was cool and things went on...so after that i thought since my friend and her never hung out b4 that they would cut their losses and things would return to the old ways...nope. they went out for "coffee" after that and that left me quite confused on top of everything i had to sort through already...i ended up saying something to her about it and i regret that...cuz afterwards i realized it was jealousy and i was being stupid...but anyway i am for some reason still essentially in love with her and i cant stop thinking about her...i miss the way things were i miss talking to her the most because we talked up until just lately when i brought up the fact that she said she wanted to hang out but never actually took any step towards it...like we always had a really open relationship and i guess i never knew when to stop and see what happened and she told me in the conversation that she still thought i was amazing and yadda yadda but that only made everything harder and now she does not talk to me except when needed at work to not be rude...she has essentially treated me badly but she apologizes and i cant help but forgive her even if i want to hate her...it would be so much easier to hate her...but i cant because i love her...i dont know really why im posting this but maybe somebody can give some insight cuz i feel i should let her go and forget her but i see her all the time at work and if not her than her sister...or her mom or dad...its killing me but i cant move on...i hear you never really forget your first love and i can accept that cuz i dont want to forget her...i just cant go on like this i just feel sad all the time...thanks for any help....and hopefully that all made sense

nuttz

boo hoo, wait til you grow up. In the mean time, punctuation and paragraphs please.

[Edit]I retract the above boo hoo statement[/Edit], I would suggest to the moderators of this forum that this sort of unformatted/illegible post be disallowed in the charter for this forum.

lostone

**** you bud...you got the jist of it so unless you have something constructive to say stfu...you need to grow up a bit yourself

Metacortex

I had a really hard time reading that so you'll have to bear with me if i get some details wrong.

anyway a few weeks after she was at a party with my friend who also works with me and her...they ended up kissing...mind you they were drunk but the fact that the guy was my sisters ex also of like 48 hours it was messed up...well im not one to hold grudges really or stay mad long and by the end of the day i had lost the urge to make him suffer and talked to him and he seemed pretty remorseful so i was like w/e...fine. So i let it go with both of them

Ok i get you were hurt by this but at the end of the day you were broken up and she doesn't have to answer to you about anyone she meets while she is out at night.

a few days later i hadnt talked to anybody about it and ended up getting mad at her...w/e she said it was cool and things went on...so after that i thought since my friend and her never hung out b4 that they would cut their losses and things would return to the old ways...nope. they went out for "coffee" after that and that left me quite confused on top of everything i had to sort through already

You're going to have to stop getting mad at her. Again at the end of the day, she is a free agent to see whoever she wants, including your friend. Maybe he really likes her? Maybe they really like each other?
It must hurt yes, but at the same time you're going to drive them both away by being angry

she has essentially treated me badly

You're going to have to give more details here because i fail to see where she has treated you badly. According to your post you are the one making nasty, angry comments towards her for something she did AFTER you broke up.

I think you just need a bit of distance from her for now to get your head together. I know its hard but i think it must be done.

eddyc

Put it down to experience man, the exact same thing happened to me,

I was goin out with a girl for a few months, broke up, was at a party with her and some of my friends, she kissed one of my friends and I was pretty pissed at the time.

These things happen, as hard as it may seem , you just have to let it slide. I'm mates with my ex and my friend still to this day, theyve been going out for 6 years!!!!!

You'll meet someone else and forget all about that other girl.

Ruu_Old

nuttz wrote:

boo hoo, wait til you grow up. In the mean time, punctuation and paragraphs please.

Not helpful.

OP, I don't see how she treated you badly. Maybe you can clarify it for me again. You both need space, sort your head out and maybe ask if you can switch departments or something at work. It would do you the world of good. I think by not talking to you, she is trying to make it easy for both of you guys. Best of luck anyway.

Beruthiel

nuttz wrote:

boo hoo, wait til you grow up. In the mean time, punctuation and paragraphs please.

[Edit]I retract the above boo hoo statement[/Edit], I would suggest to the moderators of this forum that this sort of unformatted/illegible post be disallowed in the charter for this forum.

banned for a week
B

nedward

I did something the same...only I'm a lad... She was pissed off. You have every right to be pissed off at your ex, but at the same time none at all. Women.

You're just not over her yet. IMHO.