Am I shallow because I put looks first?

ThrownAway

I don't think you're being shallow everyone has to be attracted someone to like them.

I have to be attracted to someone too but I can't stand people who are obsessed with their body and the way they look. I'm not the type of girl who goes out all done up everyday. I'm me and perfectely happing the way I am that makes me one of those girls who don't take pride in their apperance but I wouldn't be attracted to a kind of guy that's looking for someone that does anyway.

Did you ever consider maybe that those girls you find plain might be beautiful to their boyfriends?

McGinty

I haven't read any of the replies but one thing I would concur with you is that you mentioned that your small and skinny, and that being with a larger woman would make you look daft, I agree, as I'm tall for a woman, well relatively so, but also a strong build, I'm not fat, but I have a strong and broad build, even at my skinnest my shoulders resembled a man's in a way, so I personally seek men taller and broader than me, like you it is shallow, I have dated a couple of guys smaller than me but I felt daft, and same with skinny men, I just feel huge around them, give me a chunky guy and then I feel smaller than him, so maybe I'm as shallow as you, but I don't get the shallow vibe from you, more so being practical. Personality for me is important too, and I'm open to whatever, but I can see where your coming from as well.

Marksie

polishwork wrote:

People want to be Irish? People want to make money here that's it. People here are so rude, unnattractive, but to make it worse with the attitude you have.

I am english and believe you me there is history between the two countries. BUT With the exception of a few instances i have not experienced the "attitude" you talk about. I suggest that maybe your attitude is the problem here.

That was off topic i know, but i am tired of somebody ranting like that for no reason.

OP Attractivenss is important but it is a blend of both the physical and the character. People do have certain types they find themselves attracted to physically. However, for a relaionship, physical attractivness only carries so far and so long. If a character is both complimentary and yet has its differences to yours then it is a heady mix.
So no you are not shallow... you put it very well

Ickle Magoo

polishwork wrote:

People want to make money here that's it. People here are so rude, unnattractive, but to make it worse with the attitude you have.

I'm not Irish & to be fair I have travelled a bit & found the same everywhere...there is no country exempt from rude or unnattractive people & likewise no country with nothing but...

OP,

I think mutual attraction is hugely important when finding a mate, most first encounters, requests for numbers, lusty glances across the room, happen solely due to aesthetics...but if you are only going for aesthetics & ignoring the need for the other things that make for a satisfying relationship such as having things in common and being able to talk and be mentally stimulated by each other, then you would be shallow & fairly lonely I'd say...:)

Cake Fiend

polishwork wrote:

People want to make money here that's it.

I don't think he's talking about Polish people, I think he meant more along the lines of people who are happy enough in their own country and genuinely do have affinity for Irish people without any ulterior motive.

If you had ever been an Irish person abroad, you would see what genuine welcome is. I don't know many other nationalities that experience this.

BigWilly

Not to be offensive, but the general demographic on boards would strike me as being generally unnatractive (from looking at know your nerds etc).
Hence why a lot of people will factor personality disproportionately into the equation when it comes to the opposite sex on this site.
Tbh, *In my opinion* men will get with the most attractive person available to them. It's only natural. You look for the best female you can get to procreate(not necessarily to procreate but you know what I mean).

Can't remember where I heard this quote, but it's so true: "Men are only as loyal as their options."

Personally, I wouldn't go near an overweight girl, or a plain girl or whatever. Whats the point? As the original poster said, I find that attractive girls(proper attractive girls and not self-conscious girls who need tons of make-up to look attractive) have better personalities and are more fun.

Jotter

Chemistry is more important than looks by a long way. When I first met my husband I wasnt initially attracted to him, he just wasnt my type, he put far too much effort into his appearance, just like my ex which is sooo boring in a man - look after yourself yes but theres only room for 1 girl in my relationships (em thats me by the way!!).... but there was great chemistry there and although I kept telling myself I didnt fancy him I did bec he oooozed sex and confidence. He perservered with me and before long I was hooked and here we are 5 years later, great sex life and I deffo think hes improved looks wise also bec hes stopped the over grooming and now is all rugged and manly!! From his point of view I had a great body (yes I knew it!) and now Im up the duff and have no idea what way Im going to look when baby comes - I will deffo make the effort to get back to my pre pregnant state but I cant guarantee that it will happen - again the chemisty is what will keep the attraction there if I dont look like a supermodel in a few weeks - Looks is what initially attracts us all if were honest - not neccesarily good looks either - my friend goes for quirky everytime - but chemisty is what makes it good and keeps it good!

Dragan

polishwork wrote:

People want to be Irish? People want to make money here that's it. People here are so rude, unnattractive, but to make it worse with the attitude you have. I liked Ireland until I came here. I have been to the USA and a lot of polish are there too you know. I've been to France, they are similar to the Irish( not very attractive, big framed and very arrogant). Canada is a nice place but not many Irish there.
Travel a bit my friend, or is everything you need in Ireland?

Dude, you need to learn to take a joke my friend, or was my little smiley face not enough to convey the humour behind my statement???

If you would look to continue the conversation then just bring it to After Hours or something.

I'm not getting the "people here are so rude thing" , all my friends, family reletives treat people very well, regardless as to where they are from.

If you have been mistreated then i feel bad about that, but you will find assholes where you go! As for being unattractive etc....that's really your own issue i fear!! I find myself to be doing rather well with some of the foreign ladies who have come over, so i can only assume that they do not think as you do, or at least no so generally!

Maybe if you stop looking at the whole country with the "stereotype" you have developed!!! I have no doubt that if i was standing beside you in the Q for the bank you would be looking at me thinking bad thoughts and yet you do not even know me??

Every occur to you that maybe you bring these problems on yourself for having such a poor attitude???

As for travel, i have done plenty, and will do more next year, but yeah, i love my country!!! Is that such a bad thing???

Finally, i know and hang around with and have great time for plenty of Polish people over here....plenty of other nationals actually, and i have to say i am glad that not all of them share your attitude!!!

One or two of them did at first, but now they see that for every asshole they meet, there are 5 good people waiting to "act the crazy irish" with them!