Death

Dooom

That thread on the dead lads in Spain got me thinking - is it just me that finds death not that horrible or bad, and feels next to nothing when someone dies? Excluding the people I know obviously, I've not lost that many.

What I'm trying to say is, I don't really understand how people can feel sad or mournful of the people that died in (eg.) a train crash in France.
I mean you didn't know the person, they had no bearing on your life at all and odds are you'd never come into contact with them in your life.

So why do people feel bad if a man gets killed in some other part of the world? Isn't it just adding to the weight of your mind that's already burdened by loan repayments, family issues or whatever?
I suppose it could be to keep people in reality and stop them being so naive and selfish, which I don't hugely buy, considering I know I'm (mostly) not selfish or naive.

Tbh, when I heard about that train bombing in India, I just though "Huh", and that was it. No pang of guilt for their families, no regret that another soul had just been lost in some futile war against another religion we're not even supposed to believe exists.

Beats me, maybe I'm just some evil soulless demon.

/Discuss (the death bit I mean, not the me being an evil soulless demon. Although you can talk about that for a bit if you want, but try and stay with the death topic)

WellyJ

I agree with you on this,

Unless it involves someone close to me i really dont care.

Karoma

I don't think about anyone else's death, unless I killed them.

RandomOne

I got into trouble on another site saying I didn't find it all that sad when famous folk died aged 70-odd. I don't, it's natural and if they were famous as opposed to infamous then likely they felt they'd had a good life rather than just coasted along and died regretting it.

However, when it comes to unnatural death, I think what's upsetting is the senselessness and particularly when it comes to deaths by violent crime rather than the fact someone's died. This can apply to natural death too if someone is misdiagnosed or somesuch and therefore dies when in fact they could have been saved - again, the senselessness of it.

Ruu_Old

WellyJ wrote:

I agree with you on this,

Unless it involves someone close to me i really dont care.

Agreed, I have enough to worry about without other peoples worries.:(

Hail 2 Da Chimp

You guys are just desensitised from watching too much violent TV... :eek:

Ickle Magoo

Bothers me because I automatically think how I would feel if it was my son/daughter/husband/mother/etc in the accident & it strikes me how absolutely devistated I'd be....I feel for the families of those that lose loved ones...death doesn't bother me as in I'm not scared to die...but to think of so many people with their whole lives ahead of them wiped out becuase they happened to be in a particular spot....it is sad

Tazzle

It's hard to empathise with a loss of life unless you have experienced something similar and can relate. This coupled with the whole desensitising of our morals by the media serves to deaden my reactions to these kind of things anyway.

It's alot easier to understand by looking at the photos of the aftermath of some of these events and seeing the emotion of the survivors/rescuers. Though in the case of those two lads in Spain, I think they were pretty much scum anyway. No loss there really.

Zillah

Its called empathy. Some human beings have the capacity to imagine the suffering of others and feel something akin to it themselves, but lessened. A logical link helps. If a mother hears about a child being raped and murdered, she can deeply understand the kind of emotions that child's mother must be going through.

Its bizarre you need to ask this question.

Collie D

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Bothers me because I automatically think how I would feel if it was my son/daughter/husband/mother/etc in the accident & it strikes me how absolutely devistated I'd be....I feel for the families of those that lose loved ones...death doesn't bother me as in I'm not scared to die...but to think of so many people with their whole lives ahead of them wiped out becuase they happened to be in a particular spot....it is sad

Agreed, for example reading about that girl who was killed in Cobh, only nineteen, a whole life ahead of her gone.

Somebody else mentioned the Indian train bombings. Probably going off thread here so ignore if you want but why is it something like that doesn't seem to bother people as much whereas the London bombings did even though there were about three times as many dead in the Indian bomb blasts. Is it because it's further away and we're less likely to know people in India than we are in London or baecause it's a poorer country, less like us?

Tazzle

We can relate more to London, alot of Irish people have family there. The lifestyle is kind of the same. It's in our backyard, etc.

ace101

Slightly off topic. But has anyone else thought about how they'd like to die. Personally I have no intention of dying in y sleep surronded by grand kids. I think I'd like a noble death. Mid 40's 50's. Maybe dying saying a stranger

Gone West

ST*

Spike wrote:

is it just me that finds death not that horrible or bad, and feels next to nothing when someone dies?

So - essentially, you don't feel anything when you see the middle east knocking the shite out of each other. And you wouldn't be worried for the civilians - no?

I saw a little boy on a hospital bed on the news yesterday and it was heart wrenching. He was clearly in a lot of pain, and obviously quite scared. One thing is for sure, he didn't ask for that.

I won't knock you for not being able to empathise with the death of a stranger, and a lot of people probably can't either. I do find it distressing though.

Dooom

ST* wrote:

So - essentially, you don't feel anything when you see the middle east knocking the shite out of each other. And you wouldn't be worried for the civilians - no?

Not really. I do think about how retarded it is, and I do feel pity for them being stuck in the middle of it and I'd hate for it to be me, but I don't feel bad that one of them just lost their neighbour today.

ST* wrote:

I saw a little boy on a hospital bed on the news yesterday and it was heart wrenching. He was clearly in a lot of pain, and obviously quite scared. One thing is for sure, he didn't ask for that.

Again, it's pretty much the same as my above answer.

ST* wrote:

I won't knock you for not being able to empathise with the death of a stranger, and a lot of people probably can't either. I do find it distressing though.

I've just never been all that emotional. Maybe I do feel bad somewhere, but I don't notice it.
A while back, just after that school bus crash in Navan (I think..) I was talking to a few friends who were saying how sad it was. My somewhat horrible reply went along the lines of "Sure we didn't know them, why should it bother us?".
They kept trying to take me to church after that...

poggy

its natural happens to us all. means to an end

just what i think.

Terry

i gave up caring about 4 years ago.

Crucifix

"Never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee"

Collie D

Crucifix wrote:

"Never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee"

****ing hated studying that, thanks for the memories ;o)

emeraldstar

ace101 wrote:

Maybe dying saying a stranger

?????

antSionnach

ace101 wrote:

Slightly off topic. But has anyone else thought about how they'd like to die. Personally I have no intention of dying in y sleep surronded by grand kids. I think I'd like a noble death. Mid 40's 50's. Maybe dying saying a stranger

Id like to die like my grandad. woke up one morning, milked the cows, went into the town (clonakilty) to a funeral, had dinner in a restaurant after with the gran, drove home and felt a bit weak. The grandmother walked him upstairs to bed, put his head back on the pillow and just went with herself sitting there. Cant ask for nicer or gentler than that.

But back on topic, I agree with whoever said its because you cant relate. Everyone joined in and was sorry for what happened in the tsunami there in SE asia. But all those thousands of bodies... it was just a number to me, it meant nothing. Same with the twin tower attacks. I didnt find it 'sad', not really. I was probably affected more by my grandads passing than that (much greater) tragedy. I want to care, but I feel no connection to these things, theyre not 'real' to me. Car crashes are similiar because I dont know anyone killed in one, and hopefully never will

Terry

unless you knew some who died in the recent tsunami or the twin towers, then i would say that your grandfathers passing was a greater tragedy to you.
i can undersatand feeling sympathy for those who lose someone close to them, but i can't understand the mourning of the death of someone you never knew.

pred racer

Spike wrote:

Tbh, when I heard about that train bombing in India, I just though "Huh", and that was it. No pang of guilt for their families, no regret that another soul had just been lost in some futile war against another religion we're not even supposed to believe exists.

Beats me, maybe I'm just some evil soulless demon.

Im with you on this except for Kids, since ive had kids myself(well my wife had them but you know what I mean ) Anything to do with kids getting killed or mistreated now affects me.

boy_wonder

Jeez you're a cold blooded lot!!

I think some of you guys need to be brought on a wee tour around Crumlins Children hospital, Temple st or places like that. Its heart wrenching seeing terminally ill babies/kids (who you dont know might i add!!!) lying in them beds/cots with wires, tubes hanging out of them. Come back to me then and tell me you dont feel bad about it!!

I think you do appreciate it more when youve been in that situation but then again, i've always felt that way.

I can see your point about the train crash thing. I dont think about that as much as its probably not too close to home and media exposure has a lot to do with that!

Archeron

To be honest, I feel absolutely horrible anytime I see this type of thing on the news.September 11 nearly broke my heart, but only for the people, didnt really give a damn about what country it was in. The current situation in Lebanon is really distressing, but as someone else said, some people have a higher ability to feel empathy than others, so I dont think its a specifically cold hearted evil demon based thing.

Then again, on the other hand.....Re the train crash in India, or other such events in far flung places, I have sadly heard people make comments such as "aah, sure its only India, there's plenty more of them" This type of comment makes me ill and I reckon this IS evil demon talk.

boy_wonder

Then again, on the other hand.....Re the train crash in India, or other such events in far flung places, I have sadly heard people make comments such as "aah, sure its only India, there's plenty more of them" This type of comment makes me ill and I reckon this IS evil demon talk.[/QUOTE]

Deep down i think a lot of people dont mean that...

Unearthly

I agree, I feel nothing. As cold hearted as that sounds, it's how I feel.

What's worse, pretending to be upset "Oh my god, that's horrible" (in an excited voice I might add) or just being true?

Mushy

Id have to agree with the idea of its sd that it happens, but I cant relate to it so I dont think about it. I hear on the news that 42 are killed in Lebanon, it just like "that sucks". I dont think any more of it. Althought the picture of the Russian kid holding his Dads hand out the train window as he is bein evacuated is quite sad to see.

I can never feel great loss even at the family funerals I have been at. My grandads one ten years ago...was too young to fully understand, my grannys one this year...she was old, it was gonna happen. As Jim Morrison once said, "nobody gets out of life alive!" and some body else said "the only two things in life that are guaranteed are taxes and eath!" So its not something I tend to think about too much. Might be different if it happened suddenly though

Julesie

Sure i could be PC and say that i find it deeply upsetting but if im being honest then stuff like that doesnt really evoke much empathy in me.
Thinking back, my mam always thought i was weird as a child that i didnt cry during Titanic (re the emotional turmoil not its diabolical ****eness)

pande

I agree that huge tragedies like the twin towers or the tsunami are hard to grasp - purely because the numbers become so big. The initial reaction i felt was disbelief - but when you hear personal stories it becomes more real. I remember listening to a man on Marian Finucane, talking about his wife and child who had perished in one of the planes - you couldn't help but feel for the poor guy.I remember thinking how brave he was relating his story but it felt strangely invasive to hear such personal details about a woman I didn't know.I think when personal stories come out, it is then that we can empathise with the families and feel moved.

spacecoyote

i have to admit thati don't think of myself as cold-blooded whatsoever, i do get upset by distress felt by people close to me & i am upset by deaths/injuries to those that i know or am close to. But i, like many others find it difficult to get upset by massive disasters, such as tsunami, etc...for instance in my job, major geo-political situations (eg, london train bombings) have a massive affect on my job. That day as the bombings were happening, i was losing money, and all i was thinking was, "Oh sh*t i'm getting screwed here". The thought of people dying never crossed my mind till i'd finished work that evening, and even at that i wasn't upset by what happened, just kind of scolded myself for being such a mercenary b*stard. I think because of my outlook on life, which is enjoy yourself & don't stress too much because one day you'll die and thats the end of things, i can't be bothered to get myself too worked up about matters that have no bearing on my life. And i think some people get their priorities wrong on things too, for instance, when diana died there was an outpouring of sympathy (not just from the english) and a whole circus which carried on for weeks. During this time mother Theresa also died, and this was just swept under the torrent of the Diana situation. That p*ssed me off

Anto McC

I agree with the OP,i do feel a bit sad for the families of those who are dead because we all know how it feels to lose someone close to us but unless it was someone close to me,i certainly wouldn't lose any sleep!!