Non-paying girlfriend/boyfriend of renter staying regularly. Opinions?

Dr Pepper

Hi,

I'm posting this question on behalf of a friend of mine who owns and lives in a house in Swords and rents out a couple of rooms. He is getting a bit agitated lately with the (very regular) presence one of his renters' girlfriend in the house (especially at weekends when she arrives on Friday evening and stays all day/night until Sunday night/Monday morning).

Apparently, she has entertained her friends in the house regularly too! She works as an au pair and lives in a house with a family during the week so there isn't really any scope for her boyfriend to stay with her or her friends to visit her there. It's only a smallish bungalow so an extra person is definitely noticed.

I imagine almost anyone who has rented/shared has been in this situation so I'm just asking what the general consensus is? Should a renter's partner be allowed stay as often as he/she likes? Should one person renting a room expect to be the only person allowed to be around the house regularly? Or is there a common ground that can be reached? (In which case, is it fair to specify ground rules?). Should any extra person staying in a house/room regularly be paying rent too?

Afuera

I think your friend should have specified some ground rules on this from the beginning. Not allowing any visitors sounds a bit unreasonable and I can't imagine a request to charge his girlfriend for rent being met by a good response.

One of the rights of a tenant is to be "entitled to have friends to stay overnight or for short periods, unless specifically forbidden in your tenancy agreement.". However, this does not apply under the Rent-a-room scheme, which your friend is using, so I think your friend can do what he likes in this case.

The "Rent-a-room" scheme provides so few protections to a tenant that I'm amazed people still rent out rooms under this system.

miju

does she eat everyones else food ? , use all yer electricity / heating or does she simply spend time with her boyfriend who'd be doing that stuff anyways?

personally if she's not costing u guys money i dont see the problem

FillSpectre

My brother had the same problem except it was the boyfriend who was over all the time. He simple told her that the room was rented to her and use of the house was hers as hers within reason. An additional flat mate every weekend is not reasonable and for her to have friends over is really OTT.

Just come out straight and say it there is no beating about the bush or even set rules to draw up. Simply say it is too much and it needs to be adjusted to a reasonable level or there will need to be strict rules drawn up

Noelie

Your friend should stop her from bringing her friends over anyhow, ok if a rent paying lodger wants a few friends round some night i wouldn't mind that but a freeloader using the house as her own shouldn't be allowed.

I think your friend has to tell the lodger his girlfriend can't stay anymore for whole weekends, one night isn't so bad but a full weekend is a bit much espicaly if it's turning out to be every weekend.

He could ask the lodger to pay more, taking into account that no one can live in a house with out generating costs, she is definatly using electricty and generating waste both of which have to be paid for.

The problem could be if this has been allowed to carry on for a while it's hard to change your tune suddenly, also the lodger may take offense that your friend has an issue with his girlfriend staying over. he may decide to leave.

If it were my house i wouldn't let anyone stay on a regular basis for nothing as it is costing the rest of the house money.

Dr Pepper

Thanks for the replies..
Interesting.. I didn't know about this rent-a-room scheme. It seems that legally, (as Afuera said) under this scheme, a renter doesn't have many rights at all unless a contract was drawn up in advance. (Not that you would want to resort to legal technicalities to settle such a matter!). I think the moral of the story is to make up a contract setting down some simple ground rules in advance.

Not sure if she eats other people's food, etc. I'll mail this link to my friend in question and perhaps he will fill us in on some more of the details.

I used to rent a room myself and my missus was there all the time. She/we pretty much stayed out of everyone's way and we all got on (relatively) well anyway. I think it's all a bit different when the owner is living in the house him/herself.

JimmySmith

I used to rent a house with 3 other guys. We all had girlfriends stay over the odd weekend, but one guy had his girlfriend over every single weekend. You could never have a weekend where she wasnt hogging the living room or the bathroom. She was just generally 'in the way'. it was like she owned the house.
That really pissed us off. We mentioned it to the guy and he left. Sad to see him go but really something had to be done about her.

Victor

I wouldn't mind once a week or say one straight week in the entire year.
Her friends can only come if they put out.

That said, my current flatmate has had a friend over often enough and I've only even seen her twice.

I made some suggestions here.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054867603

House guests are guests - they have no rights. All guests are the responsibility of the resident hosting them.

A resident should not normally have a guest stay more than a total of two nights in any seven or more than five nights in any thirty. Such guests should not normally have keys.

Not more than twice per year*, a resident may have a guest stay for 7 consecutive nights. There should be a minimum 3-week break between these stays. Such guests may be allowed keys. Such guests should be introduced to each of the residents at the start of the stay.

Guests sleeping in shared space have no right to privacy or quite occupation.

* Using either the calendar year or the year starting on the date of first occupation of the premises by the resident.

अधिनायक

The landlord should have specified this in the agreement. This has to be done to cover the case where a flatmate has an unbearable partner. Something like 1 night per week and one week per year or else you have to ask permission first is fair.

Standard practice is to attempt to bang the aupairs friends. Aupairs are usually attractive, short term fun-loving people so he should look on the upside. Maybe he's just frustrated.

seamus

Not so much about having an extra person clogging up the place, but the extra body does add more wear-and-tear to the building, they consume gas & electricity and create waste. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for a slight rent increase (perhaps one week per month extra) for this kind of carry on.

Since he owns the house, he does have the ultimate say on this. If the guy refuses, then he can simply tell him to get out.

Dr Pepper

Thanks again for the input (and the link Victor!). That document should be a useful guideline for drawing up a contract or 'rules of the house' in future.

BC

I've been in this situation so many times, it drives me insane!! The best thing is to specify it at the beginning when the tenant is moving in.

At this stage the easiest thing to do is sit down with the tenant and explain the concerns. You can be lucky, some people will be reasonable about it, others won't.

As a general rule of thumb, the 'rule' that i've found works best is that tenants shouldn't have someone staying more than 2 nights a week (1 week night, 1 weekend night) on a regular basis. Thats not to say it can never happen that a friend stays more often, just that it shouldn't happen regularly.


It can be really irritating having an additional person in the house, I feel your friends pain!

Victor

Oh, yes, they must buy their own toilet paper!

Dudess

Oh it's something that INFURIATES me!!! I lived in an apartment where it happened twice. The first guy basically just moved in - ok, he contributed towards food and did some cleaning. Big deal! He didn't pay a penny towards electricity, gas or cable. When I couldn't hold it in any longer, there were of course tears etc - as if I was being unreasonable. Then she moved out - thank ****.
Next couple - he stayed every single night without fail. Never there during the day or when she wasn't there but still, every single night is taking the biscuit. He was still watching TV with us at night, using the shower in the morning, watching the TV in her room when they went to bed. It may only be a little but it all adds up over seven days. Didn't contribute a penny. Again, I had to say it to the girlfriend and again, she acted as if I was being unreasonable. ****ing disgraceful thing to do to flatmates. If anyone reading this is guilty of it, you're an asshole.