"You can only hate someone you love"

simu

I think the statement in the thread title is utterly untrue tbh. But hey, what think other users of this fine forum?

I think generally speaking the more intense a feeling you have for someone the more you open up across the spectrum to the capacity for other intense emotions, but it's not restricted to one person.

ST*

I'll have to say you come up with very thought provoking threads Simu. Well the answer to your question as far as I'm concerned is you can 'hate' on different levels. Family, friends, boyf's, husbands, anyone you love, know the real 'you', The general public doesn't know. So whilst in heated discussion with any of the above they have the ammunition to shoot you down in flames. And for that reason it stings the most.

I personally find hating a complete waste of time. If I dislike someone, I distance myself from them.

What are your thoughts on the matter OP?

Stark

Load of cockswallow (or is it codswallop? spellings spellings) to be honest.

John

I hate a lot of people. Very few of them I love.

simu

ST* wrote:

I'll have to say you come up with very thought provoking threads Simu. Well the answer to your question as far as I'm concerned is you can 'hate' on different levels. Family, friends, boyf's, husbands, anyone you love, know the real 'you', The general public doesn't know. So whilst in heated discussion with any of the above they have the ammunition to shoot you down in flames. And for that reason it stings the most.

I personally find hating a complete waste of time. If I dislike someone, I distance myself from them.

What are your thoughts on the matter OP?

Well, you can hate people for many reasons. I actually think it's harder to hate someone you love because you probably understand them better and why they do the things they do. Well, unless it's a case of unrequited love (a love/hate sort of thing) or of someone you love betraying you (although that love would quickly be replaced by hate for me because I don't do the doormat mallarkey).

But certainly, I have had reason to hate people I was previously neutral about because of their despicable acts. I don't think it's a waste of time always - it can be a natural reaction to injustice or such and I think it's normal to exprience it and wouldn't worry about doing so unless it was taking over my life or making me act violently.

(The inspiration for the thread came from an lj meme of all places!)

Tar.Aldarion

simu wrote:

I think the statement in the thread title is utterly untrue tbh. But hey, what think other users of this fine forum?

Well, the more I care about somebody the more potential there is for hate.
As Bluewolf says, the more intense a feeling you have for someone the more you open up across the spectrum to the capacity for other intense emotions, such as going from love,the strongest feeling ofr me, to hate.

I don't know if I can thoroughly hate somebody I love though, it's a blend of a lot of love and hate at the same time(you love things about them always), whereas, if I hate somebody I did not love in the first place, it is just hate, but not as strong a feeling at all.

Terry

i saw a similar statement in a film or tv show recently.

something along the lines of 'if you hate someone, then it shows you still have feelings for them.'
a true disliking of someone is total disdain, but i have really hated some people that i never felt any love for in the first place (extended family members). one of them is dead now and i would piss on his grave if i knew where it was. i'm not going to go into to details, but i'll just say that he was a truly evil man.

in summation, i agree with simu. the above statement is totally untrue.

ThrownAway

I think you can hate anyone. But then again people get confused between hating someone and hating what they have done. If someone did something terrible like kill someone you love you might hate them because of what they have done and who they are if they didn't regret it and laughed in your face.
I don't think I hate anyone. I might have hated people in the past but it's so much easier just to let it go and forgive them. If there's one thing I've learnt in this life so far it's just to be able to let things go. Holding grudges against someone for who they are or what they have done hurts you more than it will ever hurt them.

ST*

simu wrote:

or of someone you love betraying you (although that love would quickly be replaced by hate for me because I don't do the doormat mallarkey).

And thats an example of what I mean right there. It is those of whom that are closest to you that can hurt you the most.

simu wrote:

But certainly, I have had reason to hate people I was previously neutral about because of their despicable acts. I don't think it's a waste of time always - it can be a natural reaction to injustice or such and I think it's normal to exprience it and wouldn't worry about doing so unless it was taking over my life or making me act violently.

I certainly won't argue your way of dealing with matters. But in order for you to hate someone, shouldn't you have previously developed some kind of respect for them first? Just a thought.

simu

ST* wrote:

I certainly won't argue your way of dealing with matters. But in order for you to hate someone, shouldn't you have previously developed some kind of respect for first? Just a thought.

Not necessarily. Here's randomer X. Randomer X raped Santa Claus. The elves now hate Randomer X for causing poor Santa such pain.

ThrownAway

julep wrote:

'if you hate someone, then it shows you still have feelings for them.'

Is that not hurt feelings though. You can be angry and hurt/feel let down/betrayed because of someone you love but you could never hate them.

Dirk Gently

simu wrote:

Not necessarily. Here's randomer X. Randomer X raped Santa Claus. The elves now hate Randomer X for causing poor Santa such pain.

Elves organise a protest outside randomer x's house smash his windows with little wooden toys and graffiti rapist onto his windows using crayons and colouring pencils. millions of kiddies toys aren't made in the north pole cos the elves are busy being an angry mod preferring the punishment rather than treatment route. Parents all over the world have to make up stories as to why Santa arrived empty handed and was walking funny.

This caused tension in many households and many a husband strayed because the feminist wifeys blamed their good for nothing husbands on Santa not delivering the goods. Husbands got found out and despite florists doing a booming trade in make up flowers all the wifeys ended up hating their husbands, kicked them out of the house and started having lesbian affairs with their straying husbands former lovers, which would suggest that the thread title is true despite Santa being the victim, his unfortunate incident had a chain reaction resulting in wives hating their husbands who they once loved.

ST*

simu wrote:

Not necessarily. Here's randomer X. Randomer X raped Santa Claus. The elves now hate Randomer X for causing poor Santa such pain.

Hate 1 --- You as a friend = hate rapist on a 'you raped my friend' angle. (defensive)

Hate 2 --- Raped = He took something from me. I'll never get it back. He invaded my privacy, my body.. my choice. (Weak, robbed)

I only use this because it seemed to be an example of converstion.

simu

Yeah, but you can be converting til the cows come home. Not always significant imo.

Giblet

Nah I hate you all!

Steven

But I love you, Giblet
</3

Terry

ThrownAway wrote:

I think you can hate anyone. But then again people get confused between hating someone and hating what they have done. If someone did something terrible like kill someone you love you might hate them because of what they have done and who they are if they didn't regret it and laughed in your face.
I don't think I hate anyone. I might have hated people in the past but it's so much easier just to let it go and forgive them. If there's one thing I've learnt in this life so far it's just to be able to let things go. Holding grudges against someone for who they are or what they have done hurts you more than it will ever hurt them.

you judge people on their actions.
you can't necessarily hate someone you don't know, but you can hate someone close to you because you know them and you can give a good reason to hate them.

you can say you hate bono because he pisses you off or you can say you hate gary glitter because he's a paeder ass. at the end of the day, you don't actually know these people and you can't really hate them. you can however, hate someone that you do know personally, because they may have given you good reason to hate them. again, it's because of their actions. you don't have to have known them before hand and have loved them before you hate them.
i hate the guy who stabbed me. i didn't know him 5 minutes before he stabbed me, but i still hate him. i hate the guy who killed my father. i didn't know him beforehand either.
yes, it's because of their actions. but can you give me any other reason to hate someone?
'oh, i hate kate moss because she's in the paper every day and doesa coke'. 'i hate bono because he goes on about charity, but he's a millionaire'. that's just crap. someone has to have done somethink personal to you in order for you to hate them.

Jiblet wrote:

Nah I hate you all!

screw you, jiblet. that's mine and i want it back. :mad:

Giblet

B&

Terry

Q?
B?
S???

Giblet

Be it a song or casual conversation
To hold my tongue speaks
Of quiet reservations
Your words once heard
They can place you in a faction
My words may disturb
But at least there's a reaction

Terry

don't damn me for my posts.

i just ate some cheesy sandwiches in order to dream about rockers with long red hair.
don't kill my buzz. i want to use my illusions for good.

Black Swan

"You can only hate someone you love"? A false statement. I don't love Hitler, Stalin, Tojo, Saddam, King George II, but what these people have done is hateful. Then again, the only one who can really hurt me inside is the one I love, but loving them truly would rule out hating them.

Tar.Aldarion

Exactly but I don't think you can truly hate those people you have not met, the ones you mention, you hate what they have done. If it's somebody you love you feel so hurt and begin to hate them but cannot, as you love them. You get an odd mix...

WhiteWashMan

simu wrote:

I think the statement in the thread title is utterly untrue tbh. But hey, what think other users of this fine forum?

by the token, you can only love someone you hate.

which seems absurd to me.

Heyes

simu wrote:

I think the statement in the thread title is utterly untrue tbh. But hey, what think other users of this fine forum?

Agreed I totally disagree that you can only hate someone you love,if the statement was you can only hate someone you know well then yes i would agree with that, but no love and hate dont go together, infuriated and love yes but not love and hate.

Doomspell

That statement is nonsense!! I personally hate very few people. Because why should I waste my time freting over people I simply don't care about. So I don't hate them, they just mean nothing to me.

Supercell

Probably a certain element of truth, the people that make you emotional..well why's that?

On the other hand, like everything else there are limits, I hate the old cnut that failed me on my first car driving test (imho unfairly) , I can honestly say that I hate him and there is no fruedian or otherwise stuff going on!!