Cant cum while having sex

LegacyUser

As the title says I cant come while having sex.

I’m 21 years old. Been seeing a girl for awhile now and are having sex the last 2 weeks. The sex has been great for both of us and I’ve made her cum so many times. Because I cant cum we usually end up having sex for about 2 hrs or so and she cums about 6 or 7 times. We don’t have full on sex for 2 hours cos that would just hurt but we like to have a lot of foreplay and makes it interesting.

I still haven’t cum until last night. We were talking about it and she said its not a huge deal cos I can last for so long and she’s really enjoying it but she really wants to make me cum like I’ve made her cum. I masturbated a lot before I met her and since meeting her I haven’t masturbated for over 3 weeks and still couldn’t cum during sex, which is strange because I usually cum faster and with less effort if I haven’t masturbated for long periods of time.

Last night she said if I wanted to masturbate while in bed with her that she was cool with that. She ended up playing with me for a bit and I finally couldn’t take it anymore and had to finish myself off. She thought it was really hot and she got really turned on by the sight of it, and we both got very sticky. She said she’s defiantly up for doing it again like that but it just feels a little wired to be masturbating in front of my girlfriend. I really wanna cum during sex… It is obviously something to do with how fast my hand moves while masturbating because she was looking at me and was like “no wonder you can cum during sex, you need it to be VERY FAST”

Can anyone suggest anything or had a similar situation and tell me that it’ll work itself out.

She also told me about a medical condition called Blue Balls. I never heard of it but she said if guys don’t cum then they can get very sore testicals and it can be quite painful. This kinda scared the crap outta me and was part of the reason why I masturbated infront of her and wanted to cum so bad!

Tak3n

I have the exact same problem!!!
I thought i was just a professional haha. The girls never complain though so ive never viewed it as a problem...
hopefully someone has some advice (not that ill be soon to use it)

Ruu_Old

Maybe try out some different positions and see what works for you.

theTinker

blue balls is horrible,
ive gotten it a few times, (no idea bout the name, i think its cause its a build up of unreleased blood and after ur tissue has used all the oxygen, its left with blood filled wth carbon dioxide(usually associated with blue)), that and the fact u were not made to have them muscles tensed for so long. Ask a girl to tense her arm muscle for a few hours and she will get the same )
if a girl teases you for hours without release and you have constant erections. you hurt lots for hours after.

Susannahmia

get her to go on top but not sitting up just stradeling you and lying into you. you will have alot more control this way and will be able to go faster with less effort. its the easiest way for my boyfriend to come. my boyfriend masturbates in front of me all the time its normal and quite a turn on. im suprised you think its unusual!!

AnitaMcCluskey

This problem is quite common (according to Dear Deirdre, Sun Newspaper anyway) it become psychological and the more pressure that you put on yourself to ejaculate the harder it will become (no pun intended)
If you can ejaculate with masterbation then I don't think you need to worry about blue balls but the question is.... has this happened with other girls? Or is this the first time? Sexual counselling can help this situations if you are that concerned about it. As sometimes subconsiously you could have a problem with sex or other things in your life at the moment that prevent you from ejaculating with your girlfriend.

damonjewel

I am assuming that drink/drugs/stimulants are not involved. This can be a great inhibitor.

My advice is to try masturbating/oral sex to the point of climax and then try to have sex. But if this is a case of tension and its happened with other girls then maybe a counsellor might be needed.

real_484

it is only tension, you need to relax, don't drink before sex, try doggy style and get your girl to reach behind between her leg and stroke your jewals as you are doing it very simulating, there are some more options but see how you get on with this

Dragan

Hey guys,

i have the same thing, or at least i had, it has now developed into a far better skill of pretty much being able to cum when i want during sex, which is always useful!!!

I didn't come for the first 3 years of having sex!! It just didn't happen....and eventually i figured out why. I was very, very afraid of getting some lass pregnant and then having a kid....i realised that it was a huge fear for me and that it tied in directly with not coming.

I have since sorted out that fear and as i said....i seem to have learned a large degree of control over those years!!!!

All in all, i would say it is something of the mind stopping you, than something of the body.:D

supergirl2

My ex boyfriend had the same problem as Dragan there, he too was just full of fear about getting a girl pregnant that he couldn't cum while having sex. I'd say it is just a deep fear or just a case of you needing to relax. I also want my partner to cum, feel it's apart of lovemaking and though i'm satisfied i have, it's a downer when they can't even by doing what you have!! I read in a magazine once, regarding male masturbation about the grip & speed u use can have an effect on u not been able to cum during sex because the sensation is totally different and you need your "technique" to cum. It kinda makes sence cn we are all different shapes & sizes (loose & slim just wouldn't work well...) but who knows??

DubNside

supergirl2 wrote:

It kinda makes sence cn we are all different shapes & sizes (loose & slim just wouldn't work well...) but who knows??

What ya mean by that?

Dragan

DubNside wrote:

What ya mean by that?

I think she means, if the shape of Slot B did not match up with the shape of Tab A then it would be a crap ride.

Which may also be a valid point....not only might you be a bit used to "dealing" with yourself OP, but it might just be an issue around how you fit with your girlfriend if you know what i mean? Maybe try out some different positions....and yes, there are positions beyound missonary and doggy style!

DubNside

Hmm....Like throwing banana's up Grafton street!?

Zombrex

notgonnacum wrote:

Can anyone suggest anything or had a similar situation and tell me that it’ll work itself out.

You aren't short sighted by any chance?

Marksie

notgonnacum wrote:

As the title says I cant come while having sex.

'

I have spent years training myself to orgasm without ejaculation, until i want lol and here somene says its a problem .. Seriously, it i different though as you dont orgasm. It is i think as others say that you ned to relax about it. Just as a lot of threads have said for women, so the same for men.
In actual fact foreplay and masturbating in front is actually excellent for a realatinship and is a great sign tbh.
Next time instead of moving fast and willing it to happen, relax with her and proceed as you would normally go alone.

You will overcome )ooh forgive the pun) the problem if you just relax and continue as you are with each other. But I think in some ways it is going to mean you have a reaaly great sex life with her becasue, from your post you are learning a lot about each other in the meanttime

The woman on top position may be useful. One alternative is, if in missionary, your legs are outside hers and she closes them to increase pressure. Try moving up in this position as well so your head is higher above hers than normal, that can increase stimulation for both..her legs should be open for this.
Similar lying on top from behind with her legs closed and yours outside could be useful

LegacyUser

I have a similar type issue, although my problem is that i can only easily cum from sex.

I almost never cum through oral or manual stimulation, it takes a very long time if it happens at all, which mostly it doesn't. It's definitely psychological as I get right to the point where I'm about to cum and then it just stops and brings me back to the start!! :mad:

I don't lose my erection and it's still very enjoyable, but a little frustrating all the same!

LegacyUser

Thanks guys! We we're actually having sex again last night and she demanded I masturbate in front of her because she enjoyed it so much the first time. I found it to be a real turn on and so did she when I came all over her body. Sorry to be graphic but it got her really hot and wet and when I went down on her right after she almost hit the ceiling. She came quite hard also and she said this morning that it was one of the best orgasms she's had in years and just putting it down to the fact that I came all over her and she was so turned on by it. Tonight should be interesting!

I think it may also be in my head. I guess I am a little worried about getting her pregnant but she’s on birth control but there is always that risk ya know.....

That’s for all the comments guys. My appreciated!

LegacyUser

I've been having the same problem. Me and the girl I have been seeing have had sex about 4 times so far, and only on 1 occasion did I come. Bizarely enough, one night whilst having sex, it went on for just less than an hour and she stopped as she was tired. Next morning, we went at it again, and I came within about 10 minutes.

Blueballs hurts like crazy. Unbelievably so.

Dr Pepper

Certain prescription drugs (especially anti-depressants) can make it virtually impossible for one to cum during sex!

Good for you though tbh Long may it last long!!

LegacyUser

Maybe the women could offer an opinion on this one, if a guy is going at it hammer&tongs for an hour or there abouts, and she has come already, would yous not get bored and start reading a magazine, while he is working away?

So the question is how long is too little or too much?

Marksie

notgonnacum wrote:

TSorry to be graphic

well there is feedback and then there is feedback :eek:

guess this counts as a boards success story then!

LegacyUser

I have also never cum from having sex. SO many times I've been getting really hot and as soon as I'm thinking "could this be it, am I going to cum", then it just doesn't happen.. it keeps getting delayed. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise I don't know.

At the weekend I spent two hot night in bed with my partner and I never came.. after the weekend, I had a case of "blue balls"! It was quite sore and even hurt when I wanted to go to the toilet. Please guys - remember to ejaculate at some point! I didn't cum because I'm only seeing the girls a month and didn't want to go jerking off in front of her - thought it might have been bad manners. And I reckon she liked me being as hard as a rock for hours on end

LegacyUser

I also just wanted to make it clear as some of you have asked and/or pointed out, I am not taking any form of drugs and abusing prescription meds. I'm not depressed, in fact I'm very happy with my life.

I just wanted to clear that up!

bassist

ive had the same problem since i started having sex. its really frustrating. its fine for the girl who gets to blow her load 3 or 4 times but then you feel like its a whole waste of time. masterbating is cool and all but you just want blow it some times and feel normal. me and my ex came up with a really cool thing which was to **** till your just about to come and then slip it in and finnish it off that way. i just wasn't use to the feeling of coming inside a girl and eventually i got use to it. so best of luck