Official Cuckoos Nest Noos And Revoos!!

amp

Hi I'm amp and here's today's official TCN NOOS AND REVOOS!

First up, The Leader, currently enjoying the human body of Neil Burgess (AKA BARRY SCOTT FTW!) has, from his evil lair directed me to start this the first OFFICIAL CUCKOOS NEST NOOS AND REVOOS!! He assures me that it will quickly become YOUR OLD FAVOURITE! before dipping specially imported filthy english pennies into CILLIT BANG!

Rumours of The Leader toying with the idea of wearing the dead corpse of Red from That 70's Show as a body circulated the inner court of The Leader before they were all rounded up and shot for whispering and smelling funny.

FTW!(tm)
Now with less carbs

And now the sports news, featuring a fictional representation of Sean Connery.
Sean: Yessh. Sssho. Exchellent.

Thanks Sean and in other news The Leader has decided that the word "banning" will be replaced with the word "expunged". Those banned will be refferred to as "The Expunged". Terms and conditions apply, seek medical help if itching develops.

The Post here to inanly babble to the member of the opposite sex before you thread continues to grow. The Leader merged several rebel offshoots back into the main thread itself and it's fattening becomes ever more tasty. Oh yes.

Post here to get permanently banned continues it's job of soaking up the very mentally retarded of posters acting much like a mousetrap or advertisment with boobs. Many have fallen but there's plenty more stupid out there. Mercy.

NEWS FROM THE FRONT! The CUCKOOS NEST TWO FORUM (AKA Chuck Norris forum) continues to support terrorist cells in both the US and Europe. From it's terror camps in Israel to their hidden fleet of submarines based under the icecap of Antartica.

Ask not what The Cuckoos Nest can do for you. We don't like you. Get lost. Ask instead what you can do for the Cuckoos Nest for all the good it'll do you. Are you harbouring Chuck Norris loving tratorist terrorists? Have you the urge to get a crap haircut and pretend you're good at martial arts? Are you in fact a communist?

GET A JOB DUMBASS!

And here's the weather with Koneko:

Scraggs

Aye aye captain.



/When's the commercial break?

Shabadu

amp, what's the market like for stocks in internet drama at the moment? Bull? Bear? Emu?

Matt Holck

I'm confussed

Intermediate ballet is hellish
Why can't I just do the excersizes after instructions?
I'm constantly making the wrong moves

amp

Yes.

homah_7ft

Best post ever. I predict the manuscripts selling for thousands in years to come

nicryan

manuscripts you say! I reckon it'll be the crunched up cheapo A4 white paper printouts that belong to the real fans (thats why they're crincly see...cause they're auld) wot will be the ones worth the big $$$....


-me

amp

And we seem to be having technical difficulties going to the weather room so here's the entertainment news with Kolodny:

homah_7ft

There seems to be difficulties with the entertainment news too!

boneless

My nose is all blocked up too. It must be the weather. Has to be!!

amp

Bah, how about Sarky with the Economic round up?

Kolodny

homah_7ft wrote:

There seems to be difficulties with the entertainment news too!

I'm sorry. I'm just not entertained enough.

amp

Kolodny wrote:

I'm sorry. I'm just not entertained enough.

Um *confused look to camera* so...uh.... slow news day then *shuffles papers*

aidan_walsh

amp wrote:

Um *confused look to camera* so...uh.... slow news day then *shuffles papers*

I could swear I saw that happen on Sky News once.

Shabadu

Melrose Place reruns on the other channel.

amp

aidan_walsh wrote:

I could swear I saw that happen on Sky News once.

You were obviously drunk or something. I've never worked for Sky News.

boneless

Can we have Bosco re-runs please?

Sarky

amp wrote:

Bah, how about Sarky with the Economic round up?

Share prices in the cotton industry skyrocketed today when an as yet unidentified bearded male ran naked through the London Stockmarkets at around noon today, screaming "Pants! Pants! I must have PANTS!".

In more local news, the sharp downturn in post counts has led to speculation that over 200 posters may be made redundant from After Hours. It is hoped that by newbies flirting badly and awkwardly with any and all of Bubbles' female accounts, the post counts can be recuperated before lasting harm is done.

And finally, Funky Penguin's First Bank of Morality has declared bankruptcy, after a poor year's performance. According to a spokesperson, The CEO has been offered a job in the furry porn industry, and that he felt "Very " by the reporter's microphone.

Now over to Shabadu with the sports.

amp

lollage++

Sarky, you are hereby promoted to Field General Major and receive immunity from bannage, including the Post here to get permanently banned thread.

/me salutes

Sarky

/me returns salute

*sniffle* It's an honour, sir, an honour.

>_>

<_<

/me makes face at Jezza

Tar.Aldarion

The coveted immunity.

I got you a present, it's over here.
*stabs in beard*


/Smiles at Jezza

koneko

amp wrote:

And here's the weather with Koneko:

Thanks, Walter. The global warming epidemic is set to escalate over the next few days, with the death count rising to more than 0.4 people. We have received the following disturbing images from the Pentagon. We warn that these images may be too shocking for some younger viewers...







It is believed that the source of this epidemic may be related to newborn kittens, though tests so far have shown inconclusive results. The leader of the Newborn Kitten Justice Alliance has denied any involvement, and has expressed he is deeply hurt by these accusations, before licking himself to sleep at the press conference earlier today.

We will bring you more on this shocking development, as things progress. Back to you, Bob.

amp

(lollerskates)

Thanks Jacinta, and now for a quick ad break:

MCD SUCK DONKEY'S FORESKIN CHEESE FOR BREAKFAST!

Shiminay

In other news, Boupa Dioup has gone to play throw...

homah_7ft

How do you play throw?

Tar.Aldarion

I like this thread.