Average Mick cinema goer a Boorish Oik,a Slackjawed slavering f**kwit......

toomevara

.....The great and noble pastime of cinema going, my greatest, most supreme and sublime pleasure has finally and irrevocably been destroyed by the moronic gurning and cretinous c**ck wallery of the typical paddy movie goer.....Why is it that the average Irish mong/skanger, for the vast majority of whom the grasping of the non-plot of even the most transparent, idiotic, no brainer hollywood dumb-feature would be like trying to teach a monkey the subtleties of quantum physiscs, persist in decamping in unwashed hordes to the cinema where they proceed to comprehensively ruin the experience for the few normal human beings who vainly persist in the same pursuit through some misguided halcyon remembrance of what it used to be like.....arrgggggghhhhhhhhh........out!!! I will no more.......off to power city for home cinema system....end of an era....am bereft......

Hugh Hefner

What happened?

madrab

i have that feeling everytime i go to the movies

tbh

toomevara wrote:

.....The great and noble pastime of cinema going, my greatest, most supreme and sublime pleasure has finally and irrevocably been destroyed by the moronic gurning and cretinous c**ck wallery of the typical paddy movie goer.....Why is it that the average Irish mong/skanger, for the vast majority of whom the grasping of the non-plot of even the most transparent, idiotic, no brainer hollywood dumb-feature would be like trying to teach a monkey the subtleties of quantum physiscs, persist in decamping in unwashed hordes to the cinema where they proceed to comprehensively ruin the experience for the few normal human beings who vainly persist in the same pursuit through some misguided halcyon remembrance of what it used to be like.....arrgggggghhhhhhhhh........out!!! I will no more.......off to power city for home cinema system....end of an era....am bereft......

what do you expect at "The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift"??

po0k

Purge & Burn

toomevara

Christ feel alot better after that wee rant....last trip to cinema merely straw that broke the camels back. Last episode in a long line of outrages against feckin' decency and humanity that unfortunatley seem to constitute part and parecl of a trip to the movie these days, not to mention imminent threats to life expectancy and personal well being, following any attempt to remonstrate with the buffoon of the evening regarding his/her outre behaviour. Take your pick...having a chat on the mobile...receiving and sending text messages....discussing the days skanging activities at full pitch, drunken idiocy, smoking. latest encounter with drunken/stoned yokel who proceeded to change seats every five minutes, smoke a few fags etc... and generally annoy all in the auditorium while resisting all attempts to remove him. left after a half hour by which time whole evening ruined. Am currently advocating a programme of euthanasia for his ilk, think of the organs which could be harvested for sentient human beings.......

Beruthiel

Just go to see the film at 11am on the weekend, all the morons are still in their beds at that time.

toomevara

tbh wrote:

what do you expect at "The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift"??

Will not have a bad word said against the fast and the furious. Its cutting edge social commentary on the essential emptiness of contemporary car culture and our slavish adherence to contemporary materialistic mores moved me to tears. Up there in the pantheon of the greats......

weemcd

That thesaurus widget must be paying dividends...

Ste.phen

Lol

TerrorFirmer

I like to whine about those sort of people at the cinema but thankfully it doesn't happen to me all that often.

I went to see the Omen two or three weeks ago though, and the gang of minks in there was really pushing the intelligence of a spoon. One of them, taking a break from giggling and spontaneously shouting "Declan ya mong", actually said "Whats that wooden stick in the her mouth?" when one of the characters on screen was brushing her teeth. With a regular toothbrush...

Hagar

toomevara wrote:

...the typical paddy movie goer.....Why is it that the average Irish mong/skanger...

So this only happens in Ireland then...

toomevara

weemcd wrote:

That thesaurus widget must be paying dividends...

I refuse to be cowed by your flagrant anti-intellectualism.......:)

toomevara

Hagar wrote:

So this only happens in Ireland then...

I teach English for a living abroad, In the last five years I've lived in Portugal Spain and Italy, regular movie goer in all three countries never, ever seen or encountered anything remotely approaching the ballwallery i regularly encounter in theatres here.....although the Portuguese predilction for bringing their kids to late night movies (dont hold with babysitters, its an affront to the family) was initially disconcerting......

po0k

Spose it's still illegal to crown them with a steel-toe cap yeah?

Morlar

I'd say you can get the same type of knobjockeys in cinemas in the states and in england too - probably pretty much everywhere. Down to luck of the draw and seating choice in my experience - also the kind of movie. Going at peak times isnt always the best choice either.

toomevara

SyxPak wrote:

Spose it's still illegal to crown them with a steel-toe cap yeah?

being essentially a pacific kinda guy I couldn't possibly endorse senseless violence....awww f**k it let's get all Travis Bickle on their asses its the only language these genetic abberations/dead ends/cul de sacs understand.....

toomevara

Morlar wrote:

I'd say you can get the same type of knobjockeys in cinemas in the states and in england too - probably pretty much everywhere. Down to luck of the draw and seating choice in my experience - also the kind of movie. Going at peak times isnt always the best choice either.

Ahhh "knobjockeys" what a fantastic word.....of course re: peak times your absolutely right.... but ferchrissakes cut me do I not bleed???? Do I not have the right to go to a cinema at 8 0'clock of a saturday night and remain unmolested either physically or psychologically by f**kwittery on a biblical scale?

Morlar

toomevara wrote:

Take your pick...having a chat on the mobile...receiving and sending text messages....discussing the days skanging activities at full pitch, drunken idiocy, smoking. latest encounter with drunken/stoned yokel who proceeded to change seats every five minutes, smoke a few fags etc... and generally annoy all in the auditorium while resisting all attempts to remove him. left after a half hour

If there were people who were annoying you at the cinema and also smoking - why not just report them instead of leaving the movie ? That way they would have been turfed out and probably think twice about it next time. Being on a mobile phone during a movie is also grounds to get kicked out.

toomevara

Oh he was well reported the apesh**e, but the staff, who were essentially afraid of the knuckledragger in question, and I dont blame them, dealing with these bing-bongs on their salary, i dont think so.... opted for the softly softly approach. I didnt leave incidentally, he did, sort of wandered out after 30 mins and didnt come back......

toomevara

Thanks all for allowing me to vent, feel reborn....very cathartic.....

dudara

I must say that I've never really experienced anything like that here in Cork cinemas. We went to see an 11.30pm showing of "The Fast and the Furious:Tokyo Drift", and the crowd of skangers/car-modders who came in had us in tears of laughter. Take every sterotype that you could imagine and they were there. While they were loud enough during the trailers/ads, there wasn't a peep throughout the film. So I couldn't complain.

monkeyfudge

Try to go to the Screen cinema whenever possible... I never come across any f*ckwits in there and it's a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

They put too much salt on the popcorn though... so avoid!

Bounty Hunter

Morlar wrote:

I'd say you can get the same type of knobjockeys in cinemas in the states and in england too - probably pretty much everywhere. Down to luck of the draw and seating choice in my experience - also the kind of movie. Going at peak times isnt always the best choice either.

of course you can thats why many movies have huge grosses despite being in many peoples inc. critics opinions **** such as the fasst and the furious or xxx franchises. these are movies that are aimed at the lowest commen denominater with lots of explosions and hot women etc...

toomevara

dudara wrote:

Take every sterotype that you could imagine and they were there. While they were loud enough during the trailers/ads, there wasn't a peep throughout the film. So I couldn't complain.

But of course Dudara,watching the Fast and the Furious is, to this lot, like giving a fresh virgin to Hugh Heffner or an evangelical christian to osama bin laden, it fascinates them, amazes them. they'll toy with it for a while, play with it but ultimately it will only spur them on to greater enormities and crimes against good taste.

How many of these hapless idiots will be scraped up off the various highways of the nation over the coming weeks as they seek to emulate the antics of their on screen idols.....not that i'm complaining about that or anything, its natural selection at work in all its glory, but it's the innocent patsies like you and me that they take with 'em that bothers me.

No, I'd expect reverential silence for FF2...but what I'll never understand is why they trot along to other flicks which require a fully developed frontal lobe to watch...and also some basic language skills...ah well..ours is not to wonder why....

311

They should issue a remote control to the attendant and if anything starts up ,pause it and out them .

Everyone could help them in the process ,by cheering together.

OUT OUT OUT OUT Out!!!!!!

Hugh Hefner

toomevara wrote:

like giving a fresh virgin to Hugh Heffner

Seriously, seriously, 12 is enough for today.

I just wondering why some smart group of people isn't trying to raise money to start up an Ultimate Cinema. One that works like a nightclub (doesn't have to let anyone in that that don't want to) and has real bouncers for throwing people out.
Of course it would also have great technology, projectionists that are always on the ball, nice seats, nice screens, special events and great food.

J.R.HARTLEY

lads serioulsy if someone is ruining the film, say something, not in a polite way either, make it clear they'll be scraping their sacks off the screen at the end if they don't shut up, always works for me. it's your right to tell them to be quiet. they'll ignore staff warning s and be back making noise in 5 minutes but if they think you're serious their guts will dissapear quicker then their popcorn.

toomevara

J.R.HARTLEY wrote:

lads serioulsy if someone is ruining the film, say something, not in a polite way either, make it clear they'll be scraping their sacks off the screen at the end if they don't shut up, always works for me.

J.R. you're absolutely right and I have of course resorted to these measures in the past. I'm not exactly what you'd call a shrinking violet. it's just that it tends to ruin the experience, all that adrenalin and anger coursing through one's veins kind of ruins the whole point of a relaxing evening taking in a movie. Why should I have to threaten violence on a mong/skang/pikey to enjoy a movie??? Why is it that, in the main, the average Irish mook cannot behave him/herself in the public arena?

toomevara

Hugh Hefner wrote:

Seriously, seriously, 12 is enough for today.

I just wondering why some smart group of people isn't trying to raise money to start up an Ultimate Cinema.

Firstly Hugh, glad to note your potency remains undiminished, but please, an odd crumb from your over abundant table to us relationship dysfunctionals would be appreciated.:)

Re: your comment on the perfect cinema, the IFC comes close but I'm a muck muncher and my trips to dublin are infrequent at best.....

J.R.HARTLEY

honestly i'd say a decline in social moral values among the younger generations, they're brought up to not give a **** about you or me or putting in on us, so they don't, they need a damn good slap, in the head, with a 2x4. that'll learn them manners.

toomevara

J.R.HARTLEY wrote:

honestly i'd say a decline in social moral values among the younger generations, they're brought up to not give a **** about you or me or putting in on us, so they don't, they need a damn good slap, in the head, with a 2x4. that'll learn them manners.

I'm sensing a Charles Bronson moment comin' on, Death Wish 8 - Cinema Carnage, I can see the trailer now....

toomevara

Oh S**te, forgot we'd have to exhume poor oul' Charles, oh well could be a whole new genre, the undead, cinema avenger thing.....cue portentous trailer voiceover chap...."they insulted his sense of cinema etiquette/propriety from beyond the grave, now they must pay the ultimate price...the freshly undead Charles Bronson is Cinema Avenger Guy........."

Terry

and there i was thinking that the self loathing paddy threads were limited to after hours. silly me.

Doctor DooM

I've started sitting on the end of rows so I can move when without fail some eedjit sits next to me who wants to talk about "who anto was wi' last week and giz some o yur maltesers there you scabby git".

I thought they were following me around

Mossy Monk

off to the cinema for the first time in years today. knowing my luck i'll get landed beside morons

Morlar - I dont think it matters what gives grounds for dismissal, youve already been pi**ed off at that stage.

I try and avoid going to the cinema to see anything other then and 18's flicks or an independent flick that the flecks wont be going to see. If its something important i'll go in the afternoon when the flecks arent around.
Ireland is a world of pain for the cinema, an absolute world of pain, and while some of you may say...i can imagine it being the same in other countries, I havent experience anything like ireland and ive lived around the world.

Ironically I went on a date with a chick the other night and she kept on talking to me real loud in a crowded cinema....what do you do with that on a second date!!??? Needless to say after that i'll blank her once i get to sleep with her

Doctor DooM

Deleted User wrote:

Ironically I went on a date with a chick the other night and she kept on talking to me real loud in a crowded cinema....what do you do with that on a second date!!??? Needless to say after that i'll blank her once i get to sleep with her

Klassy

Hugh Hefner

Deleted User wrote:

Ironically I went on a date with a chick the other night and she kept on talking to me real loud in a crowded cinema....what do you do with that on a second date!!??? Needless to say after that i'll blank her once i get to sleep with her

Haha. Reminds me of a date I went on. First date and we went to a film after hanging out for a bit. The situation hadn't been planned as such, but once in the cinema I began to use the trip as a sort of test: will she speak or won't she? If she talks during the film then I'll have to re-evaluate our relationship.
Anyway, she ended up only speaking once and that was to say, "Bless you," when I sneezed.


And you know what? I was still annoyed.

toomevara

julep wrote:

and there i was thinking that the self loathing paddy threads were limited to after hours. silly me.

I reserve the right to loathe either myself or the cretinous scabs who compose the overwhelming majority of my fellow countrymen at any time, why limit it, its such an endless source of pleasure and juicy negative motivation. It's certainly a refreshing break from the odious, self congratulatory,:( mutual masturbation which passes for debate on most subjects in this beknighted little hate-pit we call a country.

toomevara

Hugh Hefner wrote:

Haha. Reminds me of a date I went on. First date and we went to a film after hanging out for a bit. The situation hadn't been planned as such, but once in the cinema I began to use the trip as a sort of test: will she speak or won't she? If she talks during the film then I'll have to re-evaluate our relationship.
Anyway, she ended up only speaking once and that was to say, "Bless you," when I sneezed.


And you know what? I was still annoyed.

Gentlemen, please!! I'm appalled by the alarming turn this debate its taking. It must be stated categorically that in general relationships and cinema do not mix.

My last adventure in this respect involved the turgid Crouching Tiger Sleeping Dragon and an insane Australian female who attempted to attack me half way through the movie because, once again she'd imbibed way way too much red wine, and was looking for a ruck.

Now in mitigation I was very bored and had I think insulted the intellectual capacity of her country men on a number of occasions (well, come on, its an open goal). Cue mayhem and my ejection, yes ejection from a cinema...my God the shame....I mean having a relationship with an australian and admitting it...not getting thrown out of a cinema.....

tracert

toomevara wrote:

I reserve the right to loathe either myself or the cretinous scabs who compose the overwhelming majority of my fellow countrymen at any time, why limit it, its such an endless source of pleasure and juicy negative motivation. It's certainly a refreshing break from the odious, self congratulatory,:( mutual masturbation which passes for debate on most subjects in this beknighted little hate-pit we call a country.

Less threads like this would be a refreshing break.

toomevara

tracert wrote:

Less threads like this would be a refreshing break.

erm....yes...went a bit OTT there, apologies, way too much caffeine, going for a cold bath....