Would You Kiss Somebody Of Your Own Gender In Public?

Lunoma

Hello All,

Often, I see straight couples kissing and holding each others hands in public, on a bus, luas or in the shopping centre. Even, walking down the street. Yet, not even a glance is made at them because more people are familiar with seeing a man and a woman kiss.

Yet, the looks I get off people when I only hold hands with another boy, don't mind kissing. I shouldn't really care but not only do I find it intimidating but I also fear for my own personal safety.

Gays and lesbians should be able to kiss in public without any problems but some things aren't always meant to be unfortunately.

Fill in the poll under four options: "Yes", "No", "Maybe", "Don't know / Unsure" in relation to the question "Would You Kiss Somebody Of Your Own Gender In Public?" and share your experiences if you wish.

Thank You All,

Daniel

Dudess

No. And that's simply because I do not fancy girls, so snogging a girl in public would be purely to get attention. No other reason. And that is frankly sad. Now, since sexuality is ambiguous, I wouldn't rule out ever fancying a girl. Who knows? In 12 months time I might be shacked up with some chick. But I've never had any physical feelings for women so right now, it doesn't apply. I think a lot of women, myself included, enjoy looking at other women (eg in fashion magazines) but it's not necessarily sexual. It's just to see what they're wearing etc. And a beautiful woman is aesthetically pleasing - just like anything that's beautiful. By the way, two people of the same gender who fancy each other or are in a relationship should be able to snog all they want in public.

Mrs. MacGyver

I dont mind gays/lesbians kissing or holding hands in public. Used to live with 2 lesbians in college for a while and it never bothered me in the slightest.

I've never had physical feelings for the same sex but i'm ok with things.
However whta does annoy me (gay or straight doesnt matter) is exhibitioists who feel they have to flirt/act outrageously to gain the attention of others. was in break for the border saturday night and many straight couples were so in your face. My fella and i felt quite uncomfortable (usually we head to a quite corner for a snog, as we dont do PSA's in public).

UU

Hi all,

I would, yes.

Nobody has the right to tell you that you're not allowed to kiss in public. If heteros can, why can't homos? Don't let anyone put you down, but don't be in anyone's face either.

Mrs. MacGyver

Well said UU

Dudess

UU wrote:

but don't be in anyone's face either.

Y'see, I have a problem with this phrase when it's used in relation to gay people (this isn't directed at you by the way, UU. I don't even know whether you're straight or gay anyway). When people don't want straight people to be in their face with public displays of affection, it's simply because it makes them uncomfortable, and that's fair enough. Couples acting overly soppy in public can indeed be nauseating. But when it comes to gay people being in your face, it's treated as problematic simply because they're gay. And the concern that people have about gay people being in one's face mightn't necessarily be because they're being overly affectionate to their partner (most of them feel like they shouldn't dare do that anyway), it's because they might be a bit camp or whatever. I recently asked a guy if he had seen Brokeback Mountain. His reply was "Nope. And I certainly don't intend to. Nah, seriously, I don't mind them being gay as long as they're not in my face about it." ("them" being gay men). I asked him if he could possibly define what being "in his face" is when it comes to gay men. He replied "you know. Acting all mincey and gay and stuff." But it's ok for straight men to act "all straight and stuff". An infuriating attitude indeed.

wheresthebeef

yeah, i've often heard people saying things like "I don't mind gay people, as long as they keep it behind closed doors and don't try to flaunt it all over the place". As if its something to hide, and is rude to display in public.

I would say no, that I wouldn't kiss a guy in public, but I have kissed a guy in a non-gay nightclub with a lot of rough characters around. Dutch courage can do a lot. So, my rational mind says no, but circumstances have resulted in me body acting without my minds permission in the past.

Dudess

Well that is true. A few pints and I'd be any girl's!

spurious

Yes and I have.
I'm not a fan of full-on snogging in public for anyone, gay or straight, as I think some things are private, but I have and will continue to kiss women in public places (and indeed in private places, as they say...).

Annasopra

I'm not sure - I think it would depend on the circumstances - for example maybe Georges St or Dame St but maybe not areas in or around O Connell St.

In the recent survey by Johnny the gay peeer action group - 74% of those surveyed reported that they would not show affection in public to a same sex partner

Hmm_Messiah

In the recent survey by Johnny the gay peeer action group - 74% of those surveyed reported that they would not show affection in public to a same sex partner

I imagine you mean "Johnny - a gay peer action group " as opposed to the action group .


It crosses my mind how many of that quoted 74% show affection in private. On those occasions that I've had a same sex partner showing affection by touching off as we walk , or holding hands , or kissing would be almost automatic reflexes. To refrain because of where we were would kind of suggest that those people and their approval are more importance that this person.

(of course in Kilkenny there lots of lanes to disappear down. But any time my ex was living on a bus it would seem goodbyes were incomplete without a kiss, in Kilkenny, or O 'Connell St etc. And this was long after we were a couple)

Dudess

wheresthebeef wrote:

I have kissed a guy in a non-gay nightclub

*Me gets all leery*

snappieT

Yeah, I do it, but I'm careful where.
On the luas, Grafton Street, RDS, Stephen's Green, no problem.
If it's on the northside of the city, I'd be slightly more reluctant.

I have picked up guys in straight nightclubs too, this always presents an interesting prediciment. You tend not to be squashed on the dancefloor anymore, as people tend to drift away from the gays kissing on the dancefloor.

damien

Have, do, will. Don't really care where unless it is just as inappropriate for everyone else to be kissing their partners. Restricting your natural behaviour in every social situation is surely smothering who you are. It's like going back in the bloody closet all over again.

Johnnymcg wrote:

In the recent survey by Johnny the gay peeer action group - 74% of those surveyed reported that they would not show affection in public to a same sex partner

While I wouldn't take those figures seriously at all, I would comment though that by living in a state of fear you'll continue that state for you and others.

UU

Dudess wrote:

Y'see, I have a problem with this phrase when it's used in relation to gay people (this isn't directed at you by the way, UU. I don't even know whether you're straight or gay anyway). When people don't want straight people to be in their face with public displays of affection, it's simply because it makes them uncomfortable, and that's fair enough. Couples acting overly soppy in public can indeed be nauseating. But when it comes to gay people being in your face, it's treated as problematic simply because they're gay. And the concern that people have about gay people being in one's face mightn't necessarily be because they're being overly affectionate to their partner (most of them feel like they shouldn't dare do that anyway), it's because they might be a bit camp or whatever. I recently asked a guy if he had seen Brokeback Mountain. His reply was "Nope. And I certainly don't intend to. Nah, seriously, I don't mind them being gay as long as they're not in my face about it." ("them" being gay men). I asked him if he could possibly define what being "in his face" is when it comes to gay men. He replied "you know. Acting all mincey and gay and stuff." But it's ok for straight men to act "all straight and stuff". An infuriating attitude indeed.

Oh, Dudess, I am gay, yes. I don't differentiaite between gay people kissing in public to straight people - it's all the same really. I just don't like general people with over the top public dislays of affection regardless if it's gay or straight. It seems rather intimidating. For example, I was on the bus once and this straight couple were very annoying. The man kept making pulling down his girlfriend's blouse to kiss her boobs. I don't mind snogging, holding hands and hugging but some things are a bit much really. I mean I've kissed fellas in public but I haven't been opening their shirts and licking their chests!!!

About Brokeback Mountain, it's censory rating is really unfair. It's rated 18s just because it's gay men kissing. :mad:

Dudess

Well now I know what you mean by "in your face" - being ridiculously over-the-top in displaying affection publicly and embarrassing everyone around. Yup, I agree with you on that one. That guy on the bus - ew! Rank! Totally unnecessary.

UU

Well, methinks that they were very drunk but still. Yuck!!! :eek: I felt like saying "Leave it behind closed doors and have some dignity for God's sake!"

The_Minister

UU wrote:

About Brokeback Mountain, it's censory rating is really unfair. It's rated 18s just because it's gay men kissing. :mad:

I thought it was 18's cause it was so ****.:D
Never had a more boring or preachy film. Then again, I hated a boy from mercury, and I'm told that is ment to be brilliant.

aaronquigley

Kiss my partner yes. My uncles and brothers yes. However, one of my gay
friends recoils when I go to him him bye (force of habit from years of living in Australia). So in most cases I kiss away but this person sees it as an issue (safety) which reminds me that for some people it is.

LovelyHurling

This might be a completely inappropriate place to say this because im probably surrounded by gay people, but anyway. One of my brothers college friends/ housemate is gay. Anyway we get on fine, as normal etc its obviously not a problem.
Until...we were sitting in the living room, about 10 of us and watching the news or something i dunno, but this guy and his (obviously boyfriend) started touching and kissing etc. I have to admit that it made me very uncomfortable and all of the other boys too. Luckily there were about 4 girls there who were telling them how cute they were etc so we didnt have to say anything.

This is very hard to explain without coming across as homophobic but Ill give it a shot. Both of the boys are dead on, but you have to accept that people will inevitably be uncomfortable with gay people (or more accurately gay men) kissing or being publicly affectionate. Thats not anyone's fault, its just what we were brought up to expect to see... or not see:) .
All that Im saying is that whilst this should not discourage gay people from being affectionate in public, they shouldnt be shocked if most people (probably men) find it very awkward to look at or even sit beside and it will take a long time before that disappears. Its not fair, but it isnt going to change overnight. Gay people have the same rights as straight people to be publicly affectionate, but becuase its a very new thing and something we dont have experience of, a lot of people will find it uncomfortable. Not that that has to be a bad thing either.

Hope this didnt come across as antigay or something

the_syco

LovelyHurling, the way I see it is this: if your straight was talking to you, and then just turned around and started eating the face off their partner, it'd be rude. Likewise for gays.

If your on the street, who cares. Keep walking, tbh.

azezil

LovelyHurling wrote:

Hope this didnt come across as antigay or something

Nah not at all, I'm sure you'd get used to it in time... hell 3 years on and the thought sometimes pops into my head that its odd!

Dudess

Firespinner wrote:

Never had a more boring or preachy film

You couldn't get a less preachy film.

UU

I find it's just as uncomfortable watching a straight couple in public eating off each other's faces as a gay couple doing the same thing. I suppose like what was said here anyway many people are only adjusting to the concept of gay people being open in public so perhaps society just takes a while to accept this as normal. Although, in San Francisco, it is quite common to see gay couples being affectionate in public which is due to their culture. Likewise, when I visited Brighton in South England (my auntie lives there). Dublin doesn't have as large a LGBT community as these places. I'd just be careful. Gay people have the right to kiss in public if they want to but sometimes even if one has the right to do something, there can be still problems attached to it.

The_Minister

Dudess wrote:

You couldn't get a less preachy film.

It was filled with manipulative imagery. One example
Family scenes - dank, dull, indoors, dirty
Gay stuff - nice, bright, outdoors (lovely scenery), clean

The whole films message was that the family is bad and running out on them is ok. There was nothing but manipulation in that film

MrsA

I am not gay but I have kissed another woman in public (after a lot of champagne) with my husband watching.
It was no more in everyones face than if I had been kissing my husband.
It was sexy and fun and to hell with what people think, all 3 of us enjoyed it.
MrsA

claire h

you have to accept that people will inevitably be uncomfortable with gay people (or more accurately gay men) kissing or being publicly affectionate. Thats not anyone's fault, its just what we were brought up to expect to see... or not see

No, you don't have to accept it... I think that's the whole point, y'know?

I just don't like general people with over the top public dislays of affection regardless if it's gay or straight.

Hear, hear. Save something for the bedroom, folks.

It's rated 18s just because it's gay men kissing.

Wasn't it 16s? (I remember 'cause I didn't realise there was such a rating... am pretty sure it wasn't 18s in the cinema, anyway) Plus, I think it might have been the (painfully lubricant-free) sex that put it up.

The whole films message was that the family is bad and running out on them is ok.

Yes, that's what I got out of it, and it wasn't at all about repressive environments and loving people and tragic endings or anything, oh no. :rolleyes:

wheresthebeef

i saw two girls walking down westmoreland street last week, hand in hand. i reckon they were lesbians just by the body language between them, but it looked so good to see two people who weren't afraid of who they were. It kind of made my day to see them. I have never seen two guys doing something as simple as that in public.

Sapien

Firespinner wrote:

The whole films message was that the family is bad and running out on them is ok. There was nothing but manipulation in that film

The message was that gay men being husbands to wives is bad, and running out on them is an unfortunate consequence of homosexuals falling prey to the pressures of a hetero-normative society. It isn't manipulation, it's storytelling - gay man with man equals happy - sunshine and green vistas; gay man with woman equals unhappy - bad lighting and awful curtains.

UU

Sapien wrote:

The message was that gay men being husbands to wives is bad, and running out on them is an unfortunate consequence of homosexuals falling prey to the pressures of a hetero-normative society. It isn't manipulation, it's storytelling - gay man with man equals happy - sunshine and green vistas; gay man with woman equals unhappy - bad lighting and awful curtains.

Yes well said Sapien. That's exactly what I got out of it anyway. I rather liked Brokeback Mountain even though many seemed to hate it. I thought it showed well the reality of the situation. And there are gay men and women out there who are married into a heterosexual relationship in which they are uncomfortable in. In the past, many LGBTs were sexually fustrated. They were placed into a society where the morals attack their sexuality which they must hide and pretend to be "normal". (Actually that still occurs in many countries today!)

Also, Heath Legder is fine!

imprezza

Me and my boyfriend hold hands or sometimes have a little snog when we're out I think its the same with lesbians and heteros, there's a time and place where its ok, but say with a lot of elderly people around we wouldn't, or people doing it for attention annoy me. Most people don't really want to see anyone being very sexual in public no matter what thier sexuality is.

mike65

Only if I could kiss Johnny Depp, but no-one else (I'm straight you see!)

Mike.

scrattletrap

Have done and wouldn't think twice if the right lady was involved to doing it again.

Hmm_Messiah

mike65 wrote:

Only if I could kiss Johnny Depp, but no-one else (I'm straight you see!)

Mike.

yea sounds very straight .

or perhaps......... in an attempt to contain your true homosexual orientation in your everyday heterosexual life you have focused all your gay fantasies and drives on a person presumed unattainable, rationalising that your not denying your sexuality but that you'll never have to admit you are gay either (unless johnny depp turns up in the pub)

(strangely brad pitt did turn up in my ex's place !! )

Wednesday is when I wind down for the weekend

Stark

First time in my life I was ever relieved to see that green smily.

UU

I think I'd love to snog Johnny Depp even if I was straight. But Orlando Bloom is so hot also!

cotwold

Sapien wrote:

The message was that gay men being husbands to wives is bad, and running out on them is an unfortunate consequence of homosexuals falling prey to the pressures of a hetero-normative society. It isn't manipulation, it's storytelling - gay man with man equals happy - sunshine and green vistas; gay man with woman equals unhappy - bad lighting and awful curtains.

Here here.

Anyways, yeah i have and will kiss my boyfriends in public. When i was fifteen i was in London and i saw two guys make out on a street corner and to be honest it was the first time it ever occured to be that being gay might just be normal. Martina Navratilova said that "Just by being out you're doin your part. It's like recycling. You're doing your part for the environment if you recycle; you're doing your part for the gay movement if you're out". On the same line, i believe that showing affection for your partner in public is doing your part for the normalisation of gay society in Ireland.

rainbow kirby

UU wrote:

I think I'd love to snog Johnny Depp even if I was straight. But Orlando Bloom is so hot also!

Johnny Depp is The Exception (tm) - meaning that ANYONE, regardless of orientation, can be attracted to him.

mike65

Exactly. George Clooney is meant to be uber-hot but I don't see it myself.

Mike.

damien

rainbow kirby wrote:

Johnny Depp is The Exception (tm) - meaning that ANYONE, regardless of orientation, can be attracted to him.

The female equivalent being Angelina Jolie.

mike65

Really?

Mike.

Aard

Johnny Depp is not hot. Sorry lads.

damien

mike65 wrote:

Really?

I think so. Speaking as the token hetero in this thread, could we do better Mike?

Hmm_Messiah

Angelina Jolie????

A bit too high maintenance me thinks. I thought Uma Thurman was the universal "woman I'd shag" for the laydees/#

Personally I think Linda Fiorentino ticks all the boxes.

anyways
(will wave to Damien on the 4th Oct )

Nalz

mike65 wrote:

Only if I could kiss Johnny Depp, but no-one else (I'm straight you see!)

Mike.

Erm....okay!:rolleyes:

Mi...I mean

Trilla

Catsmokinpot

stumbled upon this forum out of pure interest, wanted to know what all yee gay fellas and lesbo lovers (hope im not being politically incorrect or anything... ah well heres me caring :rolleyes:) are talkin about thats so different to us .

being a heterosexual, i dont care if i see two homosexuals kissing in public, the only reason it makes me uncomfortable is purely because i find the idea of kissing a another fella uncomfortable and i would have a mental picture trapped in my head, but all in all i dont care what other people do. whatever created us (or didnt create us depending on what you believe in) gave us free will, do what the fúck you like. **** it! if you love someone show em you love em, dont matter weather your outside, or in, or weather you both have a pee pee or a gee gee!

imprezza

Aard wrote:

Johnny Depp is not hot. Sorry lads.

Speak for yourself.....he's a real hotty;)

Twinkle-star15

imprezza wrote:

Speak for yourself.....he's a real hotty;)

w00t, totally agree!

Shellie13

think its much easier for two girls than two guys as people are less aggressive arpind girls-yet two guys in some areas would definately be putting themselves at risk in some cases. Girls are often even unnoticed! We're more touchy feey with each other than guys in general so it dosnt look out of place even to the conservative types!
That said, sometimes you would be reluctant with a girl in public purly because the whole guys fantasy thing and its treated as a show to pleasure them which is a pain... Like whatever is goin on between them is treated as purly a bitta sexual excitment for a few sexually frustrated ignoramuses to perve on...maddening!!!

magick

Catsmokinpot

stumbled upon this forum out of pure interest,

oh come off it now , u had a crush on swiss for years

Shamanic

everyday i meet my girlfriend for lunch on work hours, i have no problem holding her hand and giving her a kiss outside my place of work-which is on Grafton street same way she has no problem kissing me outside hers. we regularly go out for dinner and again have no problem giving eachother a kiss or holding hands across a table.
We're two people who live together and are in love, i dont flaunt it on the street but i am in no way ashamed of showing her i love her in public, im proud she's mine.