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If you could....

  • 23-06-2006 12:49AM
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,911 ✭✭✭


    If you could be any garden tool what would you be?


    I'd be a wheelbarrow


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,589 ✭✭✭Hail 2 Da Chimp


    I'd be a Hoe...

    Someone had to say it!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    And WHY would you be a Wheelbarrow?

    I think that I would be a hedge clippers. I can be around fresh cut flowers and help to artfully shape shrubberies and prune away grape vines that tower from the rain.

    And... I'd get a place of honor in the shed because I'm sharp, I tell ya! Keep me away from untrained hands! And oil me so I keep my point!!!!

    Ooh! Am I feeling creative tonight! Hee hee!

    L4L


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    LOL! Chimp!
    Are you a DIRTY hoe???? Hee hee!

    L4L


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,589 ✭✭✭Hail 2 Da Chimp


    Indeed i am... :(






    ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    Hee hee! Need some oil???


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,589 ✭✭✭Hail 2 Da Chimp


    Lust4Life wrote:
    Hee hee! Need some oil???

    Hoes need oil?
    well ok then... you're the clippers :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    Well, no one need ask WHY you want to be a hoe!
    Still wondering why the OP wants to be a wheelbarow, though. To carry a load of hoes????

    Oh! my whit is sharp! I AM a hedge clipper after all! Hee hee!

    L4L


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,911 ✭✭✭Zombienosh


    carry hoes hmmmmm


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,119 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    hoe cleaner or a rake


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,119 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    I wrote a poem for this thread.

    Roses are red, violets are blue,
    I'll **** you with a rake.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,589 ✭✭✭Hail 2 Da Chimp


    hoe cleaner or a rake

    Are you saying im a dirty hoe??? :eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    Chimp, if you're dirty that means you're either after a workout or in constant use!!!!!!! You happy little Hoe you!

    L4L


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,561 ✭✭✭Rhyme


    Roses are red, violets are blue,
    I'll **** you with a rake.
    How romantic... and familiar.

    Garden dibble for me thanks.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,119 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Rhyme wrote:
    How romantic... and familiar.
    Yes, it's certainly original...yes
    >_>
    <_<


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 5,555 ✭✭✭tSubh Dearg


    I'd be a spade. I'm very good a digging holes for myself.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,227 ✭✭✭✭Sparky


    Id be a glove..........................


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,487 ✭✭✭boneless


    A bucket!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,706 ✭✭✭Matt Holck


    I suppose my flesh might be good for fertilizer
    maybe have the dogs process it first
    and you could build a rake from my ribs
    leave my head in the tomato patch and I'll eat crickets and snails


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Is there a garden implement that represents my dismay at sickening attempts at flirting and improper use of punctuation?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,706 ✭✭✭Matt Holck


    sorry
    next time Ill drop the apostrophy

    perhaps a jethrol tull
    thats good for dropping things


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,016 ✭✭✭Blush_01


    Sarky, studies have shown that in the modern garden a hammer (or a mallet, depending on the size of your garden) is an essential*.

    Will that do?

















    * Is as true as Santa. Honest.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,487 ✭✭✭boneless


    Or a net for cleaning out the pond... that'd be nice.


    I have loads of spadgies having baths in my pond at the moment... I'm gonna miss my pond when I leave here :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    Aw, Sarky, what are ya being a Garden Gnome? Scaring away anything you find offensive in the garden?


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,767 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Hammock (if the gardener is cute).:p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Lust4Life wrote:
    Aw, Sarky, what are ya being a Garden Gnome? Scaring away anything you find offensive in the garden?


    /me concentrates very very VERY hard on Lust4Life's head


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,561 ✭✭✭Rhyme


    OMFGSCANNERS!!!one!

    Now, where did i put that gif?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,706 ✭✭✭Matt Holck


    let it ripon and it will crack on its own


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    This IS the CooCoo's nest after all! And I am a hedge clippers!


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,767 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Definitely a hammock, but it's now reserved for one particular gardener.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,800 ✭✭✭county


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