Is this most inhumane over-reaction ever?

Brian Capture

My next door neighbour was over earlier.

His sister is 30 and due to get married next November. She has been going out with the same guy for 12 years. She got pregnant a few weeks ago and last weekend they decided to tell their respective families. The boyfriend's family were overjoyed at the news. Her/my neighbour's parents, being strong right-wing Catholics gave a more guarded reaction and admitted to being 'disappointed' at hearing their daughter engaged in pre-marital sex.

She came back to Dublin on Saturday but her brother remained behind. The parents were tut-tutting about how they would tell the mother's aunt, a very conservative woman of 82 years of age. They invited her over for lunch and broke the news to her.

Her reaction:

'I'd rather you told me she had cancer'.

Isn't that some Christian attitude? Would rather see her grand-niece get a terminal illness than 'shame the neighbours' with a pregnancy?

tj-music.com

Some people never learn! It is indeed a very negative reaction :mad:

Oriel

Pince of salt

EPO_MAN

her family are worse to tolerate such an auld bag.
In my eyes they are equally to blame toadying up to her to break the news gently.

My mate's ex's sister had a kid when she was young and told the granny. she wasn't too pleased but generally accepted it. 2 years later she has another but they decided not to tell the granny. so this granny has a great gran daughter aged 3 that she doesn't know exists....well fu8ck me - i 'm glad that ireland is dying out

monkeyfudge

Yep.. and good luck finding a priest who won't have a similiar attitude if they're going for a church wedding.

The_Minister

I'm sure she didn't actually mean it seriously. She was probably just taken aback.

Guy:Incognito

monkeyfudge wrote:

Yep.. and good luck finding a priest who won't have a similiar attitude if they're going for a church wedding.

Are you taking the piss? I know loads of people who got married after having kids, or while in the process (of being pregnant not getting pregnant:) )

Firespinner wrote:

I'm sure she didn't actually mean it seriously. She was probably just taken aback.

Well if it was me, I'd be so taken aback by her reaction to what is nothing but good news I'd tell her I hope she was mugged beaten on her next shopping trip. Then I wouldnt bother with her until time came to piss on her grave.

mike65

I bet the aunt is a real facist who thinks her local priest is a wonderful man.

Mike.

monkeyfudge

Stekelly wrote:

Are you taking the piss? I know loads of people who got married after having kids, or while in the process (of being pregnant not getting pregnant:) )

2 of my cousins had problems with priests because they were pregnant when getting married.

Brian Capture

mike65 wrote:

I bet the aunt is a real facist who thinks her local priest is a wonderful man.

Mike.

I'd say so.
And probably thinks that the child abuse scandals are just a nasty plot to discredit the church.

alleepally

monkeyfudge wrote:

2 of my cousins had problems with priests because they were pregnant when getting married.

And presumably they are married now. So who married them?

The_Minister

Stekelly wrote:

Well if it was me, I'd be so taken aback by her reaction to what is nothing but good news I'd tell her I hope she was mugged beaten on her next shopping trip. Then I wouldnt bother with her until time came to piss on her grave.

Its nothing but good news except that, since she "sinned" in the eyes of the Gran, and "carried on like a harlot" like mine would say (secretly I don't think that she'd care). If they didn't have a steady relationship then it would have been terrible - maybe the gran hadn't been told that she was firmly involved? I'm just saying that we shouldn't jump to judgement.

alleepally

mike65 wrote:

I bet the aunt is a real facist who thinks her local priest is a wonderful man.

Mike.

Are you saying someone who thinks their local priest is a wonderful man is a fascist?

monkeyfudge

alleepally wrote:

And presumably they are married now. So who married them?

The priests merely had a very bad attitude about it and needed convincing to do perfrom the ceremony.

Guy:Incognito

I think we (everyone in the country) should forgoe all this church crap and only get married in registry offices. Drop the whole christenign thing aswell. Poxy church.

My son was christened, but purely because its teh norm and the family like a good piss up. I'm not married an and no longer with his mother, but if any snotty arsed priest ever looked down at me for it he'll get my size 10 steel toed work boot as far up his arse as I can get it.

If I had my way, my young lad would never see the inside of a church.

BlitzKrieg

So who married them?

the state?

Guy:Incognito

Firespinner wrote:

Its nothing but good news except that, since she "sinned" in the eyes of the Gran, and "carried on like a harlot" like mine would say (secretly I don't think that she'd care). If they didn't have a steady relationship then it would have been terrible - maybe the gran hadn't been told that she was firmly involved? I'm just saying that we shouldn't jump to judgement.

either way theres no excuse for wishing cancer on someone (which is basically what she did). You'd swear the girl had murdered someone.

alleepally

Stekelly wrote:

I think we (everyone in the country) should forgoe all this expected crap and only get married in registry offices. Drop the whole christenign thing aswell. Poxy church.

My son was christened, but purely because its teh norm and the family like a good piss up. I'm not married an and no longer with his mother, but if any snotty arsed priest ever looked down at me for it he'll get my size 10 steel toed work boot as far up his arse as I can get it.

If I had my way, my young lad would never see the inside of a church.

Why would you presume a priest would look down on you?

pokerwidow

12 yrs, I know of loads of marriages that do not last half that time. Best of luck to them both and there are plenty of maternity wedding gowns available. Any priest who has a problem with this should really not be representing God. They should be able to find a sane priest no probs.

Guy:Incognito

alleepally wrote:

Why would you presume a priest would look down on you?

comments liek this maybe?

monkeyfudge wrote:

Yep.. and good luck finding a priest who won't have a similiar attitude if they're going for a church wedding.

monkeyfudge wrote:

2 of my cousins had problems with priests because they were pregnant when getting married.

alleepally

Stekelly wrote:

comments liek this maybe?

Well I know lots of people who have got married and they have had kids and there has never been a problem.

JoeB-

yeah it seems like the catholics did a good job on your woman alright...

great to see they can't use their indoctrination / brainwashing techniques on young kids anymore to enslave a generation... Ireland was sold out by the early politicians who let religious orders edjucate the young, 98% of kids were taught by religious orders who used fear and humiliation as a teaching tool!!!, no wonder they're fcuked up now and can't think for themselves, can only mindlessly repeat the party line. Even when the catholic church abandons its teachings to encourage new members (think contreception, woman priests) the Irish catholics can't change...

Chinafoot

Brian Capture wrote:

, a very conservative woman of 82 years of age.

Dying breed to be honest.

My sister got married 2 weeks ago and her 18 month old daughter walked down the aisle in front of her. Priest never had a problem and had met the baby a few times before this and he doted on her.

Depends on the priest.

alleepally

JoeBallantine wrote:

yeah it seems like the catholics did a good job on your woman alright...

great to see they can't use their indoctrination / brainwashing techniques on young kids anymore to enslave a generation... Ireland was sold out by the early politicians who let religious orders edjucate the young, 98% of kids were taught by religious orders who used fear and humiliation as a teaching tool!!!, no wonder they're fcuked up now and can't think for themselves, can only mindlessly repeat the party line. Even when the catholic church abandons its teachings to encourage new members (think contreception, woman priests) the Irish catholics can't change...

replace Church with TV and advertising and it fits just right. So one set of teaching has been replaced by another.

My parents grew up in those scary times you mentioned but they still have a brain and aren't at all scarred by their experience and most of their generation are the same.

Kernel

Ah the old anti-Catholic Church trendies brigade.... So many misinformed opinions being spouted here it's hard to know where to start! :rolleyes:

Anyway, OP, the oul wan is a throwback to an older conservative Irish state, and has her old fashioned opinion. Fair enough, they were living in sin, but hey, we're a forgiving bunch, us Catholics.

Sparky

mike65 wrote:

I bet the aunt is a real facist who thinks her local priest is a wonderful man.

Mike.

Even after a scandal. o_O

mukki

well i suppose long ago in the hell fire and brimstone days, maybe daddy would run off with some fitter woman who doesn't fart as much as his post 48hr labour sons mother

and mammy as a single parent wasn't able to bring up a child properly, and the kid would become some priests special friend in an orphanage.

then the priests orphanages became overcrowded (they still have to feed them, they couldnt admit that they only wanted 1 kid each, in case people would start to ask questions) so priests made up that whole marraige before kids or you'll go to hell nonsense to try and reduce their food expenses


thankfully someone switched on the lights and we dont need to freak out of unmarried parents anymore

J.R.HARTLEY

have to say have been at plenty of weddings in last two years where couples had kids and as stated before the priests were great, i think some people are failing to realise that priests are humans too and as such you'll get asses who have the auntie attitude and you'll get people who think nothing of it like us.

in regard to the auntie, its a deep entrenched trait in old ireland that bitchiness, and as a guy who's battling brani cancer i'd love to meet her and show her whats hes wishing on people, the old bitch.uneducated wagon, that thinks going to mass every day makes her important, but probably can't explain the first bit of her religion to anyone.

simu

peachypants wrote:

Dying breed to be honest.

I agree. I'm pregnant and not married and no one has given me any 'tude tbh! In fact, people seem to think it's great!

J.R.HARTLEY

course it's great simu, you're bringing a new life into the world, congratulations love.
kids are great, there's not enough of them, my cousin was over with his bunch yesterday, there was all in about 8 kids beltin around the house kickin ball in the back, playin xbox, breaking the dvd player, smothering the younger kids to see what would happen, and i was lovin it, kids always pick your mood up when your down, like the dog, (ps my cousin is married to a girl who had a 6 year old kid before meeting him and the priests were great with him, although i could make that sound worrying so i'll stop now.)

Dragan

J.R.HARTLEY wrote:

course it's great simu, you're bringing a new life into the world, congratulations love.

Spot on!!!

seamus

82? Pfft, screw her, she'll be dead soon.

I don't think this as big an issue anymore. My brother's mate had a child for a few years before they got married. The child acted as the ring bearer at their wedding IIRC.

Funsterdelux

seamus wrote:

82? Pfft, screw her, she'll be dead soon.

Yeah, but remember they have a direct line with upstairs!

Evil_Bilbo

ah - there's an awful lot o gobdaws like this out there - fortunately though they are dying out. A friend of mine told her mother she was moving in (just moving in) with her boyfriend of 8 years (who she'd been secretely living with for about 5), and the mother said "no one will touch you now". Like - what the hell?

a neighbour of mine (devout catholic) was distraught to find out her son was gay. Eventually learned to deal with it, but was just afraid he might not get into heaven after he died. Went to the local priest to ask him, and the priest told her "he's going straight to hell - STRAIGHT TO HELL" - what a thing to tell the woman - you'd think "oh we're all god's children" or something along those lines wouldve been more appropriate, but no. True story. For these old-school catholics hell is very real, and to think that her whole family would be in heaven while her son was going to hell drove her demented.

still though - that priest - what a pr!ck.

grimloch

Pfft, one of my cousins recently had a baby with their partner and my grandmother, who has been nothing but a devout Catholic for all 85 or so years of her life was one of the first to congratulate them.

No problems with priests or anthing for the christening ceremony either.

~Leanne~

Evil_Bilbo wrote:

Went to the local priest to ask him, and the priest told her "he's going straight to hell - STRAIGHT TO HELL" - what a thing to tell the woman

Such a thing to say just because some-one is gay!
And what about the other priests - are they not going to hell for the awful things they did to young boys???? Sorry to bring such a subject up - but they can be right hipocrites when they want to be!! :rolleyes:

um7y1h83ge06nx

Old Catholic Ireland is dead yet, read this thread from PI:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054946637

Particularly see the last comment from Lust4Life.

TerrorFirmer

My girlfriends grandmother is like that. She once told her we'd both burn in hell forever if we merely lived together before we were married.

Imagine what she'd say if my girlfriend got pregnant....

Hagar

monkeyfudge wrote:

2 of my cousins had problems with priests because they were pregnant when getting married.

I didn't know pregnant priests could get married, I didn't even know they could get pregnant...

Dudess

simu wrote:

I agree. I'm pregnant and not married and no one has given me any 'tude tbh! In fact, people seem to think it's great!

Hey Simu! Congratulations girl! When you due?

bonkey

Brian Capture wrote:

Isn't that some Christian attitude? Would rather see her grand-niece get a terminal illness than 'shame the neighbours' with a pregnancy?

It is indeed "some Christian attitude".

My reaction would be simple - tell her she's not invited to the wedding, nor the christening and if it makes her feel better she could consider the grand-niece to have died from cancer rather than to merely have caught it.

Either which way, I'd have little (if anything) more to do with her until such times as she apologised.

jc

Dudess

"Oh, but at this hour of her life she shouldn't be challenged." :rolleyes:
Hate that ****. A vicious, hurtful remark is a vicious, hurtful remark, irrespective of what age the person is.

Surrender

Brian Capture wrote:

The parents were tut-tutting about how they would tell the mother's aunt, a very conservative woman of 82 years of age. They invited her over for lunch and broke the news to her.

Her reaction:

'I'd rather you told me she had cancer'.

Shoot the old bat!

Zulu

Well it's problem really - she'll have to justify that comment soon.

Dudess

I know of a girl who sadly lost her baby. Then when she was going to the priest to discuss funeral arrangements, he said to her something along the lines of "now you do know why this happened, don't you? God is punishing you for getting pregnant outside of marriage." So I can see where Monkeyfudge is coming from. It's rare but it's still out there.
As for Firespinner's insistence that we don't rush to judge the elderly woman - sure, if those views on sex before marriage, having children out of wedlock etc, have been entrenched in her for decades, then she can't be expected to just let them go. But the point is, she said she'd prefer to have been told the girl had cancer - it was the sheer nastiness of the comment. I think those are grounds enough to rush to judgement.
J.R. Hartley, sorry to hear about what you're going through.

bonkey

Dudess wrote:

"Oh, but at this hour of her life she shouldn't be challenged." :rolleyes:
Hate that ****. A vicious, hurtful remark is a vicious, hurtful remark, irrespective of what age the person is.

Its true that at this hour of her life she shouldn't be challenged.

She should also have learned by this hour in her life how to be civil, thoughful to others, and (above-all) forgiving.
If she hasn't learned those lessens by that hour of her life, I can't see how I can reasonably be expected ot have learned them by this hour in mine....and they'd be the only traits that would prevent me from challenging her in response to her comments.

Its like this girl I knew. She had a tendancy to slap guys across the face for little-to-no provocation. This was always followed with "you should never hit a lady". Once, she tried this on someone who responded "a lady wouldn't have slapped me" and gave her a slap back.

emeraldstar

that aunt isn't worth two seconds of her time. I hope she didn't take her opinion to heart, she's definately not worth it. I'd cut her out of my life completely.

Brian Capture

emeraldstar wrote:

that aunt isn't worth two seconds of her time. I hope she didn't take her opinion to heart, she's definately not worth it. I'd cut her out of my life completely.

The girl doesn't know. She wasn't there when the grand-aunt came out with that comment.
Her brother is wondering whether to say it to her or not.

padi89

She would rather a potential death, than a new life in her family??????????

Let her off.Dont let anyone tell you the "oh well in her times spiel" its bullsh1t.My Gran passed away a few years ago at the age of ninety she was a great woman.My sister had kids young,very young in fact and out of marrige.My Gran who was a devout Catholic,wouldnt miss mass or prayers for her life, had so much love for the kids and my sister.

Dudess

Brian Capture wrote:

The girl doesn't know. She wasn't there when the grand-aunt came out with that comment.
Her brother is wondering whether to say it to her or not.

Obviously that's up to him, but would there really be any benefit in telling her exactly what was said? She might be able to take it in her stride, but she might also be terribly hurt.

tallus

One of My sisters got married over ten years back despite having a three year old child, and the priest was grand, not a bother on him.
I dont see it being a catholic thing the way the oul bag reacted, it's just f*cking nastiness, people can use religion to *try* to justify crap like that but in the end if someone is a decent person they wont let something like religion colour their judgement.