Situation with girl I've fancied for a while and was with the other day

LegacyUser

OK I'm regular on boards and this is the first time I've ever gone unregged just in case the girl in question sees the post as she knows I hang out here
alot. I usually try and sort these things out on my own but in this case I feel that I could really do with some impartial advice.

Ok so I've known this girl for about 2.5 yrs. I'm 24 (25 in a few weeks) and she's 25. First met her when she had a boyfriend but they've long broken up. We've always got along well although we've only been talking/txting/emailing/msning etc alot more and going out to clubs together etc since I returned from my travels about 3mths ago. I'm practically in love with her. She's funny as hell, smart, extremely beautiful and very talented in a musical sense. We get on like a house on fire! We've alot in commmon too as I love music as well and DJ amongst other things. We talk about music alot and have even mooted working on a project together in the near future.

So a while back she invited me to come to this music festival abroad and I thought great why not? Great music and good company and I viewed it as a great opportunity to get to know her better and have fun. Which we did in abundunce. Thing is on the first night of the trip we got pretty pissed and scored each other. We also slept in the same bed and fooled around a fair bit although we didn't have sex. I was pretty happy about all this til I woke up hungover to hell the next day and could barely even remember what happened. I figured she would be in the same boat as we were both smashed so I decided not to mention anything and just take this easy and let things develop naturally. We had a great few days having the craic with just ourselves sometimes and some cool randomers we met around the place we were at. I really got to know alot about her and vice-versa. We never talked about what happened the first night although I was tempted to say something but something held me back. Most likely the fear of rejection and possible another fear that it was just a drunken night and they maybe she felt it might have been a mistake and that was it. There was no awkwardness or anything like that in the slightest and a couple of peeps even seemed to think we were a couple as we seemed so close. Since she had to go home on Sunday and I flew back yesterday she's called me alot to make sure I got back home ok and also to make sure that I was ok in general as we went pretty crazy with the boozing and drugs (E, MDMA only). On the last day of the holiday we spent the whole day together just the two of us drinking cocktails on the beach and we also had a really nice meal with a bottle of wine.

I know her better now that ever and from chatting to her it seems that she's definitely a little shy (as am I but only when I really really like someone
alot) and has alot of respect for herself and others around her. She definitely likes me and cares for me but I'm not totally sure that she likes me in that
way although the signs are there and it's quite possible. I'm scared of mentioning what happened with her that first night in case she puts it down to a drunken bit of fun and leaves it at that etc...

So... what should I do exactly? I've been thinking that things are gonna have to be taken slowly that's for sure anyway. I'm thinking of called her and just
saying "hey would you like to go for dinner later this week just the two of us"? But I'm not even sure about that as she might say no and then I KNOW that it's not gonna happen.

HELP!!!!

Thanks for reading and bring the advice on please...

elvis2002

Need advice pls wrote:

.....and drugs (E, MDMA only).

I can't help you but I just thought that was a funny statement... i.e. the 'only' part.

Mr. Presentable

And you think she won't recognize herself from all this?

kdouglas

sounds like the two of you get on really well, it's possible that she doesnt want to risk damaging a good friendship by getting into a relationship, but you'll never really know unless you ask to be honest.
personally, i would perhaps casually bring up what happened between you
"i wasnt sure if i should say anything, but eh....that first night we were away"
she may just brush it off as nothing or she may say something about it, her reaction should tell you where to take the conversation next. if she brushes it off it may just be out of embarassment though.
tell her you really enjoy the time you spend together and you were wondering if she wanted to continue being just friends or if she wants to be something more.

the only way youll know is if you ask, and its better to find out how she feels than to keep wondering.

LegacyUser

I'd guess that she would be only too delighted for you to ring her and ask her out on a date!! while you both slept together and all thou nothing happened I think you should phone her as texting is a bit of a cop out and see where it goes from there.

Sure what have you got to lose? you both know that you really get on well together and perhaps are not prepared to admit that yet to one another!! so go for it! I hope it all works out well for ya

LegacyUser

I don't get what the problem is here. Just be a man and take a risk.

Calibos

Unreggie2 wrote:

I'd guess that she would be only too delighted for you to ring her and ask her out on a date!! while you both slept together and all thou nothing happened I think you should phone her as texting is a bit of a cop out and see where it goes from there.

Sure what have you got to lose? you both know that you really get on well together and perhaps are not prepared to admit that yet to one another!! so go for it! I hope it all works out well for ya

Why did you go unregged to answer the OP's question................................

OMG!! Its her!!

She's recognised herself from your detailed description OP and is letting you know that you can make your move! Go for it!!:D

Calibos

........or someone who went unregged to post their own problem incognito elsewhere forgot to log back in for this reply.


........but it could be her!!

Sleepy

Is this a roundabout way of telling this girl that you want things to go further with her? As nipplenuts says, there's every chance someone would recognise themselves from the specifics in your post.... Who knows, Unreggie2 could actually be her telling you to go for it?!

My advice is to just bite the bullet. You're obviously close friends if nothing else and it's not like she hasn't given you any indication she likes you so she'll hardly it's come out of the blue. Kiss her. Sober.

Black Swan

If she or her friends visit boards.ie you've just blown her cover. Too many specifics. I would not be pleased if her.

michaela

Unreggie2 wrote:

I'd guess that she would be only too delighted for you to ring her and ask her out on a date!! while you both slept together and all thou nothing happened I think you should phone her as texting is a bit of a cop out and see where it goes from there.

Sure what have you got to lose? you both know that you really get on well together and perhaps are not prepared to admit that yet to one another!! so go for it! I hope it all works out well for ya

it's so her.

Santa Claus

Maybe we should give these 2 a little privacy in the thread...who knows it may turn into a whole relationship (the thread I mean) !

LegacyUser

Ok so I asked her out for dinner over the phone this evening and she said yes!

She sounded fine with it, possibly a little surprised. But then again it's very hard to gauge what someone is saying or feeling like over the phone. It's all about the body language!

I meant to ask her when we met in town earlier this evening after work but we were rushing a bit as she had an appointment and we also had to meet someone else. Just didn't really get a chance and I didn't wanna do it in a packed cafe!

As one of my best mates said to me a short while ago earlier this evening, I can only fuk it up from here. At least I hope that's the case anyway!

Miss Fluff

Original poster wrote:

She sounded fine with it, possibly a little surprised.

She might have SOUNDED surprised lol, was definitely her responding to your post! Bless. Hope you have a lovely time

justsomebloke

Original poster wrote:

As one of my best mates said to me a short while ago earlier this evening, I can only fuk it up from here.

LOL:D . it just goes to show that you can get pearls of wisdom even in the foulest of language.

but it is so true, so good luck and don't f'it it up

LegacyUser

Original poster wrote:

Ok so I asked her out for dinner over the phone this evening and she said yes!

She sounded fine with it, possibly a little surprised. But then again it's very hard to gauge what someone is saying or feeling like over the phone. It's all about the body language!

I meant to ask her when we met in town earlier this evening after work but we were rushing a bit as she had an appointment and we also had to meet someone else. Just didn't really get a chance and I didn't wanna do it in a packed cafe!

As one of my best mates said to me a short while ago earlier this evening, I can only fuk it up from here. At least I hope that's the case anyway!

Yeah I did exactly that last week, can't understand what happened but i managed to make a mess of things with someone - somehow!