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Some jokes

  • 07-06-2006 3:42pm
    #1
    Tree
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 4,756 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Why was Heisenberg crap in bed?

    Coz when he had the energy he didn't have the time and when he had teh position he didn't have the momentum


    Why are bacteria crap at maths?
    Coz they multiply by dividing


    ummmm, maybe i should stop here :o


Comments

  • #2
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 93,583 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Potassium Ethoxide rules C2H5OK

    Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
    Doctor: "I've got some cream for that!"

    Heisenberg is pulled over for speeding:
    "Do you know how fast you were going?" the police officer asks, incredulously.
    "No," replies Heisenberg, "but I know exactly where I am!"

    "CAUTION! Do not look into laser with remaining good eye."

    Physics professor has been doing an experiment, and has worked out an emphirical equation that seems to explain his data. He asks the math professor to look at it.
    A week later, the math professor says the equation is invalid. By then, the physics professor has used his equation to predict the results of further experiments, and he is getting excellent results, so he asks the math professor to look again.
    Another week goes by, and they meet once more. The math professor tells the physics professor the equation does work, "But only in the trivial case where the numbers are real and positive."

    Q: How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: A theoretical physicist is one that is postulated to exist, but has
    never been actually observed in the laboratory.


    This will keep you going for hours.
    "This is a collection of more than 2500 scientific jokes from Usenet"
    http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/


  • #3
    mathias
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,174 ✭✭✭mathias


    Absolutely hilarious , those 2500 jokes are arranged by subject , fields of discipline , by scientist name etc . :D All very serious and Datalike !! :D:D


  • #4
    Fallen Seraph
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 443 ✭✭Fallen Seraph


    Why did the bear dissolve when he got into water?

    Because he was a polar bear!


    Oh I know that's terrible...


  • #5
    DrunkMerlin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭DrunkMerlin


    Geology Rocks!

    Geologists are great in bed, they know how to make the bed rock.

    Limestone is important, don't take it for granite.

    Sedimentary rocks are the smoothest... they get laid everywhere. :cool: (mine)

    When granite told Basalt he loves her she was taken aback, they were close but she always thought of him as plutonic :cool: (mine)

    - i'd like to make you aware of a rock called "commingtonite" -

    best subject to teach in? Ore Geology... :D


    ***many thanks to the staff and students of UCD geology department, for some of these and I know I'll remember the rest when I'm not so tired***


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