Taboo Subject

LegacyUser

Ok picture the scenario. You meet someone online and you make a connection with them for whatever reason and you decide to meet up with them. You are obviously gonna meet them in a public place as they could be a nutter. But what do you tell your friends/family? Do you tell them that you are meeting stranger you have spoken to online for ages or do you tell them nothing.

IMO i think the above is a taboo subject, just like masterbation etc. I just dont think people would think it was weird if you met up with someone who you dont really know but at the same time they should know where you are in case they are in fact a nutter.

Do people in this day and age believe its weird to meet people in person that you speak to online?? If you fell in love with someone online and went on to marry them, would it sound weird to mention thats how you met in your wedding speech as i just think it does sound odd.

Maybe i am old fashioned and should get with the programme or do people on here feel the same???

Nevyn

Your are asking this on a website that is renowned for the fact that the users meet up in person at lans, charity fund raises, beering sessions and all manner of other socail activies.

It is not at unusual and it getting less so the more people in this country interact with others on the internet.

tk123

Why do you care what other people think?! Would your friends/family/potential wedding guests not be more concerned with that fact that you were happy with this guy rather than how you met?

Zascar

One night stands happen very day. These people do not know eachother either. its not that big a deal. Just say you were friends for a few weeks first, or met in a big group etc

Endurance Man

Taboo? I dont think in this day and age this subject is Taboo at all. Its 2006 baby , anything goes.

arctic lemur

I didn't tell my family anything but i told my flatmates and told them to ring perodically (as it was coming up to final exams and it was a good excuse if i needed to escape). I got my mate Suzi to go to the pub we arranged to meet in and sit unsuspicailly at a safe distance incase i needed to make a quick escape. I didnt and it lasted 4 years!

LegacyUser

Un-named 4 priv wrote:

Ok picture the scenario. You meet someone online and you make a connection with them for whatever reason and you decide to meet up with them. You are obviously gonna meet them in a public place as they could be a nutter. But what do you tell your friends/family? Do you tell them that you are meeting stranger you have spoken to online for ages or do you tell them nothing.

IMO i think the above is a taboo subject, just like masterbation etc. I just dont think people would think it was weird if you met up with someone who you dont really know but at the same time they should know where you are in case they are in fact a nutter.

Do people in this day and age believe its weird to meet people in person that you speak to online?? If you fell in love with someone online and went on to marry them, would it sound weird to mention thats how you met in your wedding speech as i just think it does sound odd.

Maybe i am old fashioned and should get with the programme or do people on here feel the same???

Pen Pals.

That is one method of explaining it to parents etc.

Back in the day it was considered quite normal to write to some stranger in some strange land. Swap photos.... that kind of thing. Your parents may even have done it all be it. The net is a modern version of it in some ways. You wtire to/at people... make friends.

Just a lateral way of explaining it if you need one.

If they still think its wierd tell them you will try the standard getting dolled up...out of your head on beer etc... and pull some randomer in a club to make a friend. Who might just as equally be a nutter.

nobodythere

I've met 20+ people off the net. Some have been weirdos but none of them dangerous. In this day and age it's completely acceptable.

I think your paranoia is all in your head.

Bamboozled

If you're going to tell friends and family, you might as well tell them the truth.

I met a guy online, chatted to him for ages and told my folks that i was meeting up with the guy I chatted online with. They were fine. (5 and a half years later, I'll be marrying him in September )

jcoote

its the same principal if u meet someone in a club and txt or even talk to them on a phone for a weeks or 2 then go on an actaul date...they could be pretending to be anyone over the phone or txtin...its just cos the internet has a reputation because a lot of people are ignorant to it and don't understand it

people who met onthe net are happily married with kids and a big feck off mortgage!

pclancy

Ive went out with people from meeting online and people do sometimes look at you a bit funny when you say "we met online" but only if they've never experianced it themselves. They soon come around to the idea and its not taboo I dont think. Its just another trend thats only going to increase with time and as our lives get more hectic. Just as your parents would have met at a dance or in a bar, its just another way of meeting, dont worry what people think.

Talliesin

Un-named 4 priv wrote:

You are obviously gonna meet them in a public place as they could be a nutter.

Safety rule number one.

Un-named 4 priv wrote:

But what do you tell your friends/family? Do you tell them that you are meeting stranger you have spoken to online for ages or do you tell them nothing.

Yes, telling them that is safety rule number 2. Someone should know you're meeting such a person.

Un-named 4 priv wrote:

IMO i think the above is a taboo subject, just like masterbation etc.

I think it used to be a taboo subject, just like masturbation etc.

Frankly, it's not even been that much of a taboo, meeting people you'd been corresponding with was once one of the most socially accepted ways to meet new people.

Taboo's belong to groups though, and yes some people still think that you're a bit weird meeting someone that you've gotten to know quite well through correspondence and the only normal way to get to know someone is to do so in a club where it's too loud for conversation, while you are both quite drunk.

Some people would even hold to that after hearing it expressed that way.

This is because some people are stupid. A lot of concerns about how things seemed can be answered positively by asking yourself "do I care what morons think about me?" Learn to live with the scorn of morons, and life is so much sweeter.

6th

i think this is not just becoming acceptable but almost common.

fuzzywiggle

Yeah as another poster said anything goes! Tell your friends and family.. it's no big deal. Not anymore. Just be safe.. I'm sure that's all they'll be concerned about too

Shabadu

Please- what's taboo nowadays is not having a high enough match on OKCupid w/ your partner.

Hermione*

Shabadu wrote:

Please- what's taboo nowadays is not having a high enough match on OKCupid w/ your partner.

LMAO!
/makes mental note to check okcupid

But no, as Thaedydal said, on boards in particular, it's quite common. It's how I met my b/f, and it doesn't bother me.

John

Friends of mine met online. One lived in the US and the other in Norway. They met a couple of times but mainly it was an internet thing. They decided to get married and they did. Both lived in America for a while and now they're living in Norway. She's learned Norwegian and all. The medium isn't the important part but how you feel about the person overall.

layke

My best Mate is an Aussie, who I met online through games.
I am now his son's godfather.

Tis normal!

Clár

Being someone who has had 2 bad experiences (meeting up with people) and having a neighbour who left her husband and kids for a man she met on an S&M site :eek: i am unsure how i feel about it.

However, i do believe its different strokes for different folks. My Dad is on a dating site and while he has not met anyone yet, he seems quite happy to meet up with any nice ladies he might meet. Also my sister has made some really good friends and as she is in a miniority group she felt it was beneficial to meet people in the same boat as her.

Personally i dont think i will meet up with anymore people i meet online unless its in a group meet situation. That feeling when you are waiting to meet some1 and you have no idea wot they look like or if they will be a bit of a nutter is horrible.

Ballyman

Just a thought.......

1. You go out on a friday night and get locked out of your face, pick up a guy you don't know from Adam and head back to his place, not a clue where, for a bit of lovin', no questions asked.

2. You meet a guy on the internet who lives a few miles from you. You get to know him first and talk to him for a while and then you decide to meet him for a date as he seems genuine and nice.

Yep, I think option 2 is much more dangerous than option 1 so you should have your friends sitting in the corner with a panic button in your pocket should things get out of hand. I mean it's much safer to go to some complete strangers house when your off your tits and can hardly spell your name.

God help us all. Will you just meet him wherever you want and leave it at that and enough of this nonsense.

pclancy

Nice. I think she was just looking for advice and peopls feellings. Not a ten gallon drum of sarcasm.

garthv

Ive met a lot of very good friends from the internet. A lot of them I see on a regular basis, go out at the weekend with and Ive no problem telling people where I met my friends. Its only the internet, it doesnt bite.

arctic lemur

grasshopa wrote:

I've met 20+ people off the net. Some have been weirdos but none of them dangerous. In this day and age it's completely acceptable.

I think your paranoia is all in your head.

i'd agee that internet dating is totally acceptable nowadays.

Cinamon Girl

I recently got chatting with a guy online, haven't met him yet but as I have no sisters and only a few close girlfriends and actually told my mother about him first and she is in her seventies. She thought it was great.

It is a good idea I think you try and get a picture of the person you are going to meet. That will take some of the axiety out of the first meeting.

And the more people use and talk about internet dating the more acceptable it becomes.

iFight

I have never met up with somebody but wouldnt see a problem in it if you go to an event like the beers, or if youve known them a while