the right time for sex

LegacyUser

Ive been going out with my boyfriend for about two months now and I would like to sleep with him and he really wnat to sleep with me. Im not a virgin but have had really bad past expereinces when it comes to sex.My first sexual experience was whan I was 21 and I waited for a year and then I slept with my boyfriend and then a week later we broke up. My second most serious relationship I slept with him after 6 months and a week later we broke up. Ever since I have not slept with guys and they seem to be even more crazy about me as a result,which I like. Anywho, the fact is I am getting frustrated and would like to sleep with this guy because we get on great and I really fancy him.
Is two months to soon to sleep with a guy and will he think Im a slapper?

Please no have sex when your ready and the time is right responses.I just want to know when do guys think the right time frame is to sleep with someone and not think she's 'easy'?
thanks

humanji

To be honest, it's different for everyone. If he has feeligns for you then he is not going to think you are a slut for sleeping with him at any point in the relationship. If you want to sleep with him and he with you then do it. Don't be afraid of what happened before. If you did break up then it won't because of the sex (not even I am that bad in bed! ). Just don't worry about it. I know you don't want to hear it but: have sex when your ready and the time is right! Nobody here can tell you when you want to, so talk to him and you'll both figure it out.

Hope that helps.

BoozyBabe

Im' not a man so maybe I'm not qualified to speak, but I think that's a bit of a silly question (not meant as an offence to you)

It's impossible to answer. No two couples are the same, so the amt of time waitied before they have sex will be completely different.

If you're just worried about the amt of time to wait so he won't think you're a slapper, then I'd imagine a couple of weeks would do the trick (well, provided two weeks, isn't 2 dates)
In your case, I'd imagine 2 months is more than enough for him not to think you're a slapper.

Do you mind me asking what age you are?

beth-lou

Why should a girl be a slut for sleeping with someone early in a relationship and guy be great? My feeling on it is this, you can have sex with him when you feel you want to have sex with him whether that be in the first week or not. You are an adult and can have sex whenever you want. I don't think he would think you were a slut if you had sex with him now. 2 months is plenty of time. And if he did, well then he has double standards as it takes two to tango and he's living in la la land. Women want sex as much as men. The days of the girl having sex just to please or keep a man are long gone.
You should be having sex because you want to explore his body and become closer to him. This is perfectly acceptable adult behaviour. Nothing to feel guilty about.
If you want to do it, do it. And enjoy it.

metrovelvet

When your clear in your own mind what your feelings are for him. When you are sure - whatever they are- then do so you dont let the sex confuse you. Iwouldnt worry about whether or not he thinks your a slut. I personally wouldnt care. If he leaves you over it, well then, that tells you what he is made of.

Think if it as early detection - you can separate the mice from the men this way.

astrofool

beth-lou wrote:

Why should a girl be a slut for sleeping with someone early in a relationship and guy be great?

because that's the world we live in, and tbh, its usually the attitudes of other females that label girls sluts, just as much as males.

I'd also say that the OP would not have to worry at all in the slightest in any way at all, even slightly, that they may be labelled as easy, and should sleep with the guy if she feels she wants to.

It can sometimes create a problem in building sex into something bigger than it is, not that it isn't a big deal, but keep it in perspective.

Dudess

unreg45000 wrote:

I would like to sleep with him and he really wnat to sleep with me.
Anywho, the fact is I am getting frustrated and would like to sleep with this guy because we get on great and I really fancy him.

That, to me, is your answer. You want him, he wants to you. Sounds like the perfect recipe for great sex to me. Have sex with him now. What is there to hold you back? You're in your 20s, a grown woman. Why would you deny yourself sex with this person you so obviously want to sleep with?

unreg45000 wrote:

Is two months to soon to sleep with a guy and will he think Im a slapper?
I just want to know when do guys think the right time frame is to sleep with someone and not think she's 'easy'?
thanks

With the greatest respect, OP, isn't it time you started thinking for yourself? Women's sexual behaviour shouldn't be judged. I don't care if that's the world in which we live. That doesn't make it right, and why perpetuate the problem by conforming to this frankly disgusting mindset? Why on earth would you care about whether someone thinks you're a slapper? How will it benefit you to ensure that you're not thought of as a slapper? What is a slapper?! If a slapper is someone who sleeps around (and a woman should be able to ride who and when she wants without being labelled), then you're certainly not one. And why on earth would you care what a GUY thinks specifically? He can sleep with anyone he wants whenever he wants, but you can't, is it? Waiting a year or six months or whatever, as you did in the past, obviously wasn't beneficial, so my advice would be: just go for it. If you sleep with this guy now and he considers you a slapper for doing so (which is hardly likely), then he's not worth **** in the first place.

Ruu_Old

Theres no such "timeframe" when to have sex, whenever you are ready OP.

OLDYELLAR

Your in a relationship with this guy and you both want to sleep together so I really dont see the problem. Theres no chance hes goina think your easy , 2 months is plenty of time and in no way slapperish.

And as for other people thinking your easy , really who gives a crap what others think , Its just progressing your relationship its totally natural to want to sleep together.

Blisterman

There is no way, someone would think you're a slut after waiting 2 months.

Victor

It seems like a perfectly reasonable timeframe, just don't tell granny.

Húrin

unreg45000 wrote:

Please no have sex when your ready and the time is right responses.I just want to know when do guys think the right time frame is to sleep with someone and not think she's 'easy'?
thanks

There is no universal male opinion so I'll give you mine. Four to Six months is good, but many others would think that too conservative. My opinion really is useless to you.

I wouldn't worry. Your boyfriend isn't going to think you're a slapper for sleeping with him. After all he wants it as well.

Talliesin

unreg45000 wrote:

Please no have sex when your ready and the time is right responses.I just want to know when do guys think the right time frame is to sleep with someone and not think she's 'easy'?
thanks

Okay, so ignoring the matter of when you are ready, I'd have to say the minimum time between meeting someone and having sex with them is about 3 seconds. Your minimum goes back to the answer you don't want.

Guys don't label people who have sex with people after a short timeframe "easy". Assholes label people who have sex with people after a short timeframe "easy". It's always good to avoid sleeping with assholes anyway. Which gives us another answer, viz. after you've known them long enough to be sure they aren't an asshole.

chamlis

Ok, um, for me two months is a long time! I must've been going out with sluts my whole life!

But seriously, you seem like you're into this guy and he's obviously into you so go for it. I'd have mucho respect for girls who wait tbh. There's alot of pressure on girls to give in when they mightn't be ready etc etc boring boring. I haven't really been going out with sluts, but it was never more than a week, I have to say. Go out the first weekend, get it on the next.

So two months is awesome. Go you.

LegacyUser

I know I shouldnt be worried about the whole being called a 'slut' thing. But truthfully I really am.The boyfriend who I slept with after six months spread lots of rumors about me after we broke up and unfortunatly him and my new boyfriend have mutual friends. I really got a reputation for being a slapper after the rumors he spread.I know this shouldnt have affected me but It is quite upsetting.Of course my new boyfriend said he doesnt believe any rumors he hears but I cant help but think If I sleep with him now after two months it will only compound the slapper rumors he's heared.

I know I do sound like a 12 year old but Im actually 24. Apart from when it comes to sex i am very mature...promise!!

Blisterman

Your ex sounds like a real dick.

The traditional rule is after the third date, but if you're ready before or after that, it's fine.

The_B_Man

the right time? well its bout half 2 now so i'd say bout 10 o clock?

ur 24. stop letting other people determine factors in ur relationship.

DubNside

There is no right time, just go with your feelings.

So long as you both feel comfortable then go with it.

Waiting months is not healthy!

Talliesin

unreg450001 wrote:

I know I do sound like a 12 year old

More so your ex.

Blisterman wrote:

The traditional rule is after the third date

Well no, the traditional rule is after you get married. That's pretty much either a tradition you're going to follow or not though

Zebra3

OP,

Go for it when you feel comfortable.

Are you ready?

Do you want him?

Do you trust him?

If the answer to all three is yes, it would seem like you're ready.

Don't worry about what your ex has said about you. All that will come back to bite him one day. And it proves you are so much better off without him.

Good luck!

nitrogen

unreg45000 wrote:

Is two months to soon to sleep with a guy and will he think Im a slapper?

After 3rd or 4th date, 2/3 weeks is what I have in mind. Of course, all of this differs with age and both people's views on the subject. Being mid 20s myself, it's equally important as conversation; a relationship is all about knowing someone physically and mentaly.

However, don't rush into it if you're not comfortable with it.

Marksie

Beth-lou is right why should a woman be categorised because she enjoys lovemaking. Unfortunately so is astrofool. society conditions.
As a tantra the divine is sought through the woman, something that western society doesnt complrehend. Enough of that though thats a different thread.

in answer to the right time:
Sex can myake many forms but commonly penetrative sex is what is meant by sex.
Take time and spend nights together but dont rush towards penetration. get to know each others bodies first then when penetration can occur it will be a natural progression.
If he is understanding of this and joins you then he is worthy of you, if not..then you dont have penetrative sex.
Believe me, if the two of you explore like this then all your past will be forgotten.
If he is just after being inside you then leaving, you will know it straight away.
As for when.. i know people who have gone to bed together on the first night, but it has been months before penetration occurred. By that time they knew everything about each other. In fat penetration at theat point didnt matter.

koneko

If you sleep with someone on the first date they might think you're easy, other than that I don't think they would, but I'm not a guy so I couldn't say what they think.

Personally I think 2 months is a very long time, at this point he isn't going to think you're easy, more like a fortress or something.

Tar.Aldarion

koneko wrote:

If you sleep with someone on the first date they might think you're easy, other than that I don't think they would, but I'm not a guy so I couldn't say what they think.

Personally I think 2 months is a very long time, at this point he isn't going to think you're easy, more like a fortress or something.

Like Mordor tbh.


Nobody wil think you are easy after two months.
If yee both want to do it, every time is the right time.

Shellie13

Rumours are nasty little b*tchs but don't let your past ditate this relationship!
I know how horrible it can be to have things spread but at the end of they day you gotta remeber, the important thing is how you feel about yourself!
Some people would feel disgusted at the thought of sex before marraige others get a buzz out of sleeping around and see it as a bit of a laugh! Decide what you feel is right for you and leave your past out of it as much as you can!

Wait until you are comfortable and if you are already fcuk what others think!
Any guy who calls a girl easy for sleeping with him is dilluded- it takes two and that really dosn't wash in this day and age!
Thiunk about it would it send you running into some w*nkers arms to hear him calling his ex "easy"...
Don't think so!

Every time a guy says this about a girl hes showing himself up too! Anyone with a bit of cop on never mind decency can see guys like this for what they are-tools!

unreg45000

unreg45000 wrote:

Ive been going out with my boyfriend for about two months now and I would like to sleep with him and he really wnat to sleep with me. Im not a virgin but have had really bad past expereinces when it comes to sex.My first sexual experience was whan I was 21 and I waited for a year and then I slept with my boyfriend and then a week later we broke up. My second most serious relationship I slept with him after 6 months and a week later we broke up. Ever since I have not slept with guys and they seem to be even more crazy about me as a result,which I like. Anywho, the fact is I am getting frustrated and would like to sleep with this guy because we get on great and I really fancy him.
Is two months to soon to sleep with a guy and will he think Im a slapper?

Please no have sex when your ready and the time is right responses.I just want to know when do guys think the right time frame is to sleep with someone and not think she's 'easy'?
thanks

Noone thinks I'm easy and I rarely wait as long as 2 months.
It's up to you and to him. It does vary.
I'd say go for it.

LegacyUser

unreg450001 wrote:

I know I do sound like a 12 year old but Im actually 24. Apart from when it comes to sex i am very mature...promise!!

I have to be honest, you sure sound like you're immature. If you can't have sex without worrying what other people will say about you, and have to go on boards to ask if you should or should not have sex with someone who you seem to have a committed relationship with, then you are not ready for sex at all. If you can't talk about it with him, then you're not there.

Grow up a bit and stop worrying about what other people think. I'll think you'll find making decisions for yourself comes very easily then.