(OMFG READ ME NOW NOW NOW!)show some courtesy

MrSinn

i think its time this site showed some courtesy and apprication to its users,every now and again at any given time that you decide (without notice) this site disappears and we(your customers,the thing that keeps you going)are left hanging,there is enough mods here to at least let us know when this site is going to be off-line so why dont you tell us about upgrades or any other work being done to this site and tell us not to bother posting during this period?

Sparky

MrSinn wrote:

i think its time this site showed some courtesy and apprication to its users,every now and again at any given time that you decide without notice this site disappears and we(your customers,the thing that keeps you going)are left hanging,there is enough mods here to at least let us know when this site is going to be off-line so why dont you tell us about upgrades or any other work being done to this site and tell us not to bother posting during this period?

Are you paying for the service?
No, not unless you subscribe and even then its only as a thanks for such a service.

Judging by your post time, you have just come back after the nightly database backup.
Without this, if anything bad happened, we could all kiss goodbye to our accounts and posts.

The uptime of boards is well within tollerance levels.
And if any upgrades are being done, you WILL find info either on this forum or as an announcement.

MrSinn

Sparky-s wrote:

Are you paying for the service?
No, not unless you subscribe and even then its only as a thanks for such a service.

Judging by your post time, you have just come back after the nightly database backup.
Without this, if anything bad happened, we could all kiss goodbye to our accounts and posts.

The uptime of boards is well within tollerance levels.
And if any upgrades are being done, you WILL find info either on this forum or as an announcement.

well thanks sparky but that makes absolutely no sense to me,i have noticed at around this time on a saturday/sunday that the site dissapears,am i wrong?and if boards.ie thinks so little of its un-paid subscribers then boards.ie should get rid of them,yes?

Goodshape

Karl Hungus

At 3AM every night, the site is backed up automatically, and it's down for a few minutes. It's down for everyone, subscribers and moderators included.

So stop your whinging.

MrSinn

Karl Hungus wrote:

At 3AM every night, the site is backed up automatically, and it's down for a few minutes. It's down for everyone, subscribers and moderators included.

So stop your whinging.

Now your working!?

Karl Hungus

MrSinn wrote:

Now your working!?

Crash

This from the user who got abusive towards me after i banned him for a week for being abusive to people on a board i moderate?

The moment you show some courtesy towards other users, i'll show some to you.


Til then, Fuck off.

Sparky

Well the obvious common denominator is the DB backup. I doubt Cloud would be up at this time doing upgrades (well he may be because of his newly born child ) but besides that I doubt he would.
The same goes for regi.

Boards doesn't think little of anyone, only banned users and dodgy traders.
The subscription is a voluntary donation, all it gives you is red stars and a bigger avatar.
The mods and admins wont change their attitude of you just because your a subscriber.

But dont fall under the illusion that your a customer, your a user of a free service.
So if tomorrow morning boards wants to go off line for a day, they can do it.
But out of courtesy anyway all users of the site will know anyway beforehand.

MrSinn

Karl Hungus wrote:

you're doing something in relation to the site and not telling us what you dislike or some crap like that.
i dont want an argument or any bitching but we should be told when the site is going to be off-line

Sparky

MrSinn wrote:

you're doing something in relation to the site and not telling us what you dislike or some crap like that.
i dont want an argument or any bitching but we should be told when the site is going to be off-line

OK so

approx 3:02am- 3:20am Monday to Sunday 365day of the year.

excluding when regi says oops

Karl Hungus

MrSinn wrote:

you're doing something in relation to the site and not telling us what you dislike or some crap like that.

This is still incredibly boggling. I'm just going to assume you're drunk, and let that explain your incoherence.

MrSinn wrote:

i dont want an argument or any bitching but we should be told when the site is going to be off-line

Look, it's common knowledge that the site is down every night at 3AM. What exactly do you want, a PM every night reminding you of this fact?

Goodshape

MrSinn wrote:

Now your working!?

Moderators are just users who volunteer their time to keep this site running smoothly and spam-free. They do not 'work' here.

There are five administrators who basically run the show and I doubt very much that even they make much money from you being here -- particularly as a non-subscriber.

Bottom line, if you were to leave tomorrow that would constitute exactly no loss what-so-ever to Boards.ie Ltd. or to the community that has grown here.

But then, why would you want to do that? It's a free (and spam-free) service and a damn fine one at that. Show some courtesy.

sceptre

MrSinn wrote:

i think its time this site showed some courtesy and apprication to its users,every now and again at any given time that you decide (without notice) this site disappears and we(your customers,the thing that keeps you going)are left hanging,there is enough mods here to at least let us know when this site is going to be off-line so why dont you tell us about upgrades or any other work being done to this site and tell us not to bother posting during this period?

Upgrades tend to be highlighted in a big way for a few days or even weeks before they happen.

Meanwhile the database gets backed up after about 3am every night for a while, which has been highlighted more times than I've had hot dinners in the last few weeks (ie more than once but as it happens it's been mentioned a lot more than once). That's every night, not just on Saturdays and Sundays.

MrSinn

Karl Hungus wrote:

This is still incredibly boggling. I'm just going to assume you're drunk, and let that explain your incoherence.



Look, it's common knowledge that the site is down every night at 3AM. What exactly do you want, a PM every night reminding you of this fact?

im looking at an advert right now http://www.paddypowerpoker.com/tournaments/wsop/wsop-express.php
if it was common knowledge then i would know about it???post a recent link that tells me otherwise!what is more important here-the users of this site or the advertisers?,having said that who is the client?does boards.ie tell its potential advertising clients that it goes off-line every now and again?or is it just its just its USERS that are left in the dark?

Dirk Gently

Mr Sinn just go to bed and sleep it off. drink a pint of water as this will help with your hangover tomorrow.

Chinafoot

You've been a user since October 2005....how have you not copped on to the fact that boards goes offline for the back-up at 3am every morning?!

You're not even paying a subscription so don't dare call yourself a customer.

Boards is a free service. Enjoy it and be thankful for the opportunity to use it.

MrSinn

clown bag wrote:

Mr Sinn just go to bed and sleep it off. drink a pint of water as this will help with your hangover tomorrow.

lucky for you your handle explains yourself

MrSinn

peachypants wrote:

You've been a user since October 2005....how have you not copped on to the fact that boards goes offline for the back-up at 3am every morning?!

You're not even paying a subscription so don't dare call yourself a customer.

Boards is a free service.

Hmmmm,that makes sense
paying a subscription and free,well i must be drunk!!

Karl Hungus

MrSinn wrote:

if it was common knowledge then i would know about it???

At this state I don't believe you could find your ass with a map, two native guides, and a giant neon sign.

It's been pointed out to you several times already, so you should certainly know by now. So next time you've fallen in the door at 3AM to find that boards is down, it's not some big conspiracy to screw you over.

Sparky

Ever get the feeling your talking to a wall.
Will I'm getting just that right now.

In relation to your reply, you know now, so guess what I bet at the same time tomorrow boards will be offline.

The advertisers dont give a crap if boards is offline for 15 minutes at 3 am.
Its not like boards is their only site they are on, and it only means boards will lose out.

Obviously the users are important, because let me tell you if the advertisers were important, there would be popups all over the place, ad links in everypost.
Let me ask you something? What are you going to lose if boards goes off-line.
Why are you complaining?
You have the internet ffs, go somewhere else.
Go to boards.us if we are offline, thats what the rest of us do.

Goodshape

MrSinn wrote:

Hmmmm,that makes sense
paying a subscription and free,well i must be drunk!!

The subscription is optional. Really more of a donation.

Sparky

Goodshape wrote:

The subscription is optional. Really more of a donation.

And as a thanks boards rewards you with this

Paid subscribers to boards.ie can avail of these features:

• Upload custom avatars
• Change the tag line under the username
• Request a username change
• Access to the albums system (PhotoPost)
• Access to the blogs system (vBJournal)
• Get an e-mail account
• Access the Subscribers forum.

To become a subscriber, you must use the PayPal subscriptions system.



btw, MrSinn, I consider you now a troll.

Karl Hungus

Well seeing as this is about as productive as trying to teach a dog how to speak Japanese, here is something mildly entertaining.

MrSinn

Karl Hungus wrote:

At this state I don't believe you could find your ass with a map, two native guides, and a giant neon sign.

It's been pointed out to you several times already, so you should certainly know by now. So next time you've fallen in the door at 3AM to find that boards is down, it's not some big conspiracy to screw you over.

use that old chestnut about alcohol if you like,but i dont drink!!!

Karl Hungus

MrSinn wrote:

but i dont drink!!!

Now I'm scared.

Sparky

Karl Hungus wrote:

Well seeing as this is about as productive as trying to teach a dog how to speak Japanese, here is something mildly entertaining.

LOL

/me wonders was this a case of searching for something similar but produced different results

Karl Hungus

Forget what I said about teaching a dog to speak Japanese, after seeing this, I'd say it's more than possible. Does that mean there's hope for MrSinn? Probably not.

Dirk Gently

That was actually mildly entertaining.

Chinafoot

MrSinn wrote:

Hmmmm,that makes sense
paying a subscription and free,well i must be drunk!!

Hmmm lets see.....Considering yourself a customer and not actually paying for anything. Hmmmm that makes sense.

Boards goes down for a maximum of 20 minutes.

Hardly a lot to ask to keep the site running as smoothly as it does.

MrSinn

Sparky-s wrote:

Ever get the feeling your talking to a wall.
Will I'm getting just that right now.

In relation to your reply, you know now, so guess what I bet at the same time tomorrow boards will be offline.

The advertisers dont give a crap if boards is offline for 15 minutes at 3 am.
Its not like boards is their only site they are on, and it only means boards will lose out.

Obviously the users are important, because let me tell you if the advertisers were important, there would be popups all over the place, ad links in everypost.
Let me ask you something? What are you going to lose if boards goes off-line.
Why are you complaining?
You have the internet ffs, go somewhere else.
Go to boards.us if we are offline, thats what the rest of us do.

Ans=i rebooted my pc.about bords.ie,a valid point if i may say so.I said i didint want an argument about it,i think my opinion is valid but now all i seem to be doing is entertaining bored mods!forget about it!!!keep talking about your favorite likes and dislikes but dont let anyone know about any downtime on this site,keep it secret!way to go!!

Sparky

Karl Hungus wrote:

Forget what I said about teaching a dog to speak Japanese, after seeing this, I'd say it's more than possible. Does that mean there's hope for MrSinn? Probably not.

My two favourite
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiZ9qCzIYXA&search=funny%20parrot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlNm9g0zPs4&search=silly%20walks

Classics

Karl Hungus

Sparky-s wrote:

My two favourite
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiZ9qCzIYXA&search=funny%20parrot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlNm9g0zPs4&search=silly%20walks

Classics

Yeah classics indeed. I've actually got a Ministry Of Silly Walks poster that has a 12 step diagram for John Cleese's walk.

MrSinn

Karl Hungus wrote:

Yeah classics indeed. I've actually got a Ministry Of Silly Walks poster that has a 12 step diagram for John Cleese's walk.

sparky is my sister:D

Asok

Stickied for morning after shame.

Sparky

Yeah ive seen the posters in quite a few places, but I never got one.
What is wrong with me?

MrSinn wrote:

sparky is my sister

A woman for a day....

Karl Hungus

Sparky-s wrote:

What is wrong with me?

Not listening to enough Arcturus.

Ruu_Old

The cheek of boards.ie not to notify every single user of the downtime, CHEEK. Shame on ye all, poor MrSinn*. Everyone..awwwww, he needs a huggle.



*is being very trollish and has no right to demand anything. I heart boards *

Sparky

Karl Hungus wrote:

Not listening to enough Arcturus.

You know my sis mentioned them briefly.


@ruu
Bring on major DB issues when 70,000 emails need to be sent in one go to tell you, "we'll be down for 10 minutes"

Gordon

MrSinn, you are a complete and utter twat.

BuffyBot

What gives it away I wonder...

zAbbo

Gordon wrote:

MrSinn, you are a complete and utter twat.

umm bongo umm bongo, MrSinn is teh mongo.

Stabshauptmann

its times like this I actually miss the rep system.

Sparky

We should get cloud or regi to switch it back on.
Only takes 30seconds.

Lafortezza

Steveire

[nocensor]****[/nocensor] Off!

regi

We often talk about unscheduled downtime in #boards.ie on quakenet.

Giblet

LEAP IN

EXT. CROWN POINT TOWN SQUARE - DAY

Sam, clad in the hospital gown he was wearing when he leaped out of 'Shock Theater,' lies on the grass beside a Civil War cannon. Standing on the other side of this vintage artillery piece is the Observer. Unlike Sam, his wardrobe has changed...he is now wearing the uniform of a decorated World War II Army Captain.

OBSERVER
Sam, Sam...you okay?

SAM
Al?

OBSERVER
You okay?

SAM
(getting up)
You must have leaped with me....

He stops in mid-sentence as he notices the uniform Al is wearing. The Observer gleefully starts to punch an entry into the handlink.

OBSERVER
We did it, Sam!
(notices the
uniform)
Sam. What the hell am I doing in
this uniform?
(beat)
What's going on, Sam?

ON SAM

He thinks he knows and motions for the Observer to step toward him.

SAM
I think....
(beat)
...come here.

ON AL

He starts to walk through the cannon and bounces off of the barrel. He's no longer a hologram.

OBSERVER
Sam, what the hell is happening!

ON SAM - SFX

Now certain that he knows, he takes a breath and walks through the cannon to Al. As they realize they have switched roles, they turn to each other and say....

SAM/OBSERVER
Oh, boy!

START MAIN TITLE



ACT ONE

FADE IN

EXT. CROWN POINT, INDIANA - DAY

Sam and Al are standing in front of the Civil War cannon stunned with the realization that they have leaped together and some how switched roles.

OBSERVER
(punching the
handlink)
Gushie!
(beat)
What the hell is going on!

FEATURE SAM - SFX

As Al desperately attempts to communicate with Gushie on th handlink, Sam explores his new physicality or lack of it by stepping back and forth through the cannon and tree. Eventually, grinning like a kid with a new toy, he turns to Al and puts his hand through the Observer's chest. Unnerved by it, Al jumps back and bumps into the cannon.

OBSERVER
Stop that!

SAM
You know what this means, Al?

OBSERVER
What?

SAM
(devilish)
It's my turn to slip into the
powder room like the Invisible
Man.

Sam is surprised at his lascivious statement, but Al is too busy pounding on the handlink to pick up on it.

OBSERVER
Gushie! Where the hell are you!

SAM
In the future.
(beat)
He's in the future and you're
in....
(looks around)
...I don't know the year, but from
the look of your uniform it's as
far back in time as I've ever
leaped.
(realizing)
Wait a minute. I've been leaping
back and forth within my lifetime,
but since we switched places this
leap would be within your
lifetime.
(beat)
We could be in...when were you
born?

OBSERVER
June fiftheenth, nineteen....
(straining)
Nineteen....

Al can't remember. It makes him crazy and he frantically pounds on the handlink.

OBSERVER
Gushie! If you don't answer me
I'm gonna kill you!

SAM
Oh, my God your brain's swiss-
cheesed!

OBSERVER
My brain's fine!

SAM
No, it's not. It's swiss-cheesed
from the leap.

OBSERVER
Stop saying that!

SAM
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
The first time I leaped I couldn't
even remember my name.

OBSERVER
(quickly)
Al. My name's Al.

SAM
Al what?

OBSERVER
(trying to recall)
You think I'd forget my last name?

SAM
I'm about to bet on it.

OBSERVER
(remembering)
Well, you'd lose.
(smugly)
It's Beckett. Al Beckett.

Sam laughs.

OBSERVER
(crushed)
It's not Al Beckett?

SAM
It's Al Calavicci.

OBSERVER
Calavicci?
(trying to recall)
Who the hell's Beckett?

SAM
Me.

Al stares at him for a beat, then pounds on the handlink.

OBSERVER
Gushie!

SAM
He can't hear you. Ziggy won't
even be a gleam in my eye for
another fifty years.

OBSERVER
Ziggy?

SAM
The parallel hybrid computer I
designed to run Quantum Leap.
(beat)
Gushie's the head programer,
remember?

CONTINUED



OBSERVER
(remembering)
A little guy with bad breath. And
Ziggy's a computer with a big ego.

SAM
Installing that ego was the
breakthrough. Without it, Ziggy'd
just be another big number
cruncher.
(realizing)
Al...I'm getting my memory back!

OBSERVER
By taking it from me!

SAM
No. The leap did that. Don't
panic. I'll fill in the gaps.

OBSERVER
Oh, boy.

SAM
Leaping together must have merged
our minds.
(sobering thought)
I wonder what part of your's I
got?

The Observer goes back to pounding on the handlink keys.

OBSERVER
Why doesn't Gushie answer?

SAM
Because Ziggy doesn't exist in
whatever year this is.
(beat)
We switched places, so I'd have to
have the handlink to reach Gushie
since I'm the one....

CLOSE ON SAM

The realization hits him.

SAM
(stunned)
...in the Imaging Chamber.

He looks around, trying to see through the hologram of Al's world.

SAM
Oh, my God, Al, I'm home! I'm
home!

Sam begins to cast about like a blind man in a frantic attempt to locate the Chamber door.

SAM
The door! Where's the door?

Unable to loacte it, Sam turns to Al and grasps for the handlink.

CLOSE ON THE HANDLINK - SFX

Sam's hand passes through it.

BACK ON SAM AND AL

Sam stares at the handlink knowing he can never hold what he sees. THen he turns and wails....

SAM
Gushie!

OBSERVER
(joining him)
Gushie!

The two of them stand in the middle of the square yelling for the technician.

EXT. MARCHEZAK'S MILK TRUCK - DAY

It pulls up in front of the Crown Point Cafe. Mike, the whistling milkman in a dairy cap and jacket, steps out with a wire basket filled with glass milk bottles. At that moment, he spots Al and abruptly stops whistling.

MIKE'S POV - THE OBSERVER

standing beside the cannon, pounding on the handlink and yelling for Gushie.

BACK ON MIKE

His eyes widen in surprise and he almost drops his milk basket.

MIKE
Tom....
(louder)
Tom!

Giblet

He takes off at a run, the milk bottles clattering against each other. Mike runs with a decided limp.

ON SAM AND AL

They both hear Mike coming and turn to face him. Mike's face is covered with a big grin as he limps to a stop in front of Al.

MIKE
Tom.

He throws his arms around him and hugs him tight. Al looks at Sam, lost for words.

SAM
Your name's Tom.

MIKE
I don't believe it! Your telegram
said you wouldn't be home till
Friday.

OBSERVER
(looking to Sam)
I...ah....

SAM
Caught an earlier flight.

OBSERVER
I caught an earlier flight.

MIKE
(stepping back)
You look terrific!
(softer)
Considering....

OBSERVER
Considering? Considering what?

MIKE
(a bit aback)
What? Tom, you just spent two
years in a prisoner of war camp.
(MORE)

MIKE (Cont'd)
(looking him over)
They didn't feed you much did
they?

OBSERVER
(automatic)
A bowl of rice a day.

MIKE
The Germans fed you rice?

OBSERVER
(automatic)
The V.C.

MIKE
(confused)
V.C.?

SAM
(warning)
Al. You're not Admiral Al
Calavicci! You're Lt. Tom
'somebody' and you better start
acting like him until Ziggy
can tell us what you're here to
change.

OBSERVER
(to Sam)
How?
(indicating
handlink)
Nobody's home.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Mystified, Mike lookes from Al to Sam (who, of course, he can't see) and then back to Al.

SAM
Don't look at me! Look at him!

MIKE
(confused)
Everybody's home. They're just
still asleep.
(looking at the
handlink)
Is that a walkie-talkie?

OBSERVER
Ah....

SAM
Yes. You're testing it for the
military. Top Secret, of course.

OBSERVER
Yeah. It's...ah, Top Secret. The
Pentagon's asked me to evaluate
it.

SAM
Put it away.

Al stuffs the handlink into his pocket.

MIKE
You just get liberated from a
prison camp and they give you a
new duty assignment?

OBSERVER
You know the Navy.

SAM
Army!

OBSERVER
(correcting)
Army.

MIKE[/ b]
(concerned)
You okay, Tom?

SAM
(quickly)
Ask him how...'she' is?

OBSERVER
(to Sam)
How she is?

SAM
There's always a 'she'! Ask him
how she is!

OBSERVER
Ah....
(to Mike)
...how is she?

MIKE
(after a beat)
Susanne's fine, Tom.

SAM
Susanne. Probably your girlfriend
since I don't see a wedding ring
on your finger.

MIKE
Finding out you were alive came as
quite a shock.

SAM
Oh, geez. She must have thought
you were dead.

OBSERVER
She thought I was dead?

MIKE
Hell, the whole country thought
you were dead after Ernie Pyle's
column.
(beat)
Your crew told him how you kicked
them out of the tank and turned
back to cover the battalion's
retreat. They saw you take out
three Panzers before your tank got
blown up.
(beat)
President Roosevelt even read
Ernie's column on one of his
fireside chats.
(beat)
You can't blame Susanne
for...doing what she did.

OBSERVER
What'd she do?

MIKE
(nervous)
Didn't she tell you?
(feels rotten)
Aw, shoot. Don't tell me she
didn't tell you. She said she
told you. Told you when you
called her from Bethesda

FEATURE THE OBSERVER

He is suddenly quite calm and very sad.

OBSERVER
(softly)
She didn't have to...I already
knew.

SAM
(warning)
Careful, Al.

MIKE
Yeah, I guess you would. You two
always knew what the other one was
doing since you were kids.

OBSERVER
When'd she marry him?

MIKE
She hasn't yet. The wedding's on
the seventeenth.

OBSERVER
And today's....

MIKE
June fifteenth.

OBSERVER
My birthday.

MIKE
You're birthday's in April, same
as mine.
(beat)
You okay, Tom?

OBSERVER
Just a little woozy from the
lea....
(catches himself)
...flight.

SAM
Good catch.

MIKE
Hell, what am I thinking of!
You've got to have been up all
night getting here.
(beat)
When did you chow down last?

OBSERVER
I...don't remember.

Mike hands him a bottle of milk.

MIKE
Start working on this. I'll get
Kelly to whip you up a hero's
breakfast.
(sincere)
Tom, Crown Point's so damn proud
of you it could bust!

With that he turns and runs toward the cafe.

ON SAM AND THE OBSERVER

Mike limps across the grassy square toward the cafe. As they watch him go, Al turns to Sam.

OBSERVER
Why do I have this creepy, crawly,
scary feeling?

SAM
Deja vu.
(beat)
You were an MIA in Nam for six
years. After four years your
wife, Beth, was sure you were dead
and....

OBSERVER
...she remarried.
(sadly)
I remember, Sam. I remember.

SAM
Sorry.

OBSERVER
(sucking it up)
It's not like it just happened.
(beat)
But, it sure is weird...leaping
into a guy who shares the same
fate as me.

SAM
Maybe that's why you leaped into
him.

OBSERVER
To put he and this Susanne back
together?

FEATURE SAM

He goes back to groping for the Imaging Chamber door.

SAM
Or to keep them apart.
(beat)
Without Ziggy we don't know if
Susanne married you or the guy
she's supposed to marry in two
days.
(frustrated)
I can't see a thing through this
hologram.

OBSERVER
Wait a minute. You're the
hologram.

SAM
(exploring)
To you. But in the Imaging
Chamber,you and everything around
you is a hologram to me.
Remember?
(more to himself)
Why doesn't Gushie open the door?
He's got to be monitoring the
situation.
(realizes)
Unless....

OBSERVER
Unless? I don't think I'm going
to like this 'unless.'

SAM
To leap together we had to have
either been struck by lighting or
sitting at ground zero during an
atomic detonation.

OBSERVER
Lightning! It was lightning!

SAM
Thank God.

OBSERVER
I remember a big electrical storm
just before we leaped.

SAM
A lightning strike could have been
misread by Ziggy as a catastrophic
collapse of the nuclear
accelerator ring surrounding the
Imaging Chamber. Ziggy would have
automatically sealed the Chamber
to protect the project from
radiation.

OBSERVER
(relieved)
Okay. When they realize the ring
didn't collapse, they'll open the
door.

SAM
Once sealed, it can't be re-opened
by Ziggy until the radiation
half-life of the radium ring has
expired.

OBSERVER
This is going to be a big number
isn't it?

SAM
Not in cosmic terms...a mere
sixteen hundred years.

OBSERVER
How could you design a system
without a fail safe!

SAM
(defensive)
I didn't!
(beat)
If the door was sealed in error
anyone trapped in here could open
it.

OBSERVER
Thank, God.

SAM
By using the handlink.

Al slowly pulls the handlink from his pocket. As they both look at it, we....

FADE OUT



END OF ACT ONE







ACT TWO

FADE IN

EXT. CROWN POINT TOWN SQUARE - DAY

Over our slow move across the milk truck to the cafe, we hear....

SAM'S VOICE
My dream had come true...I was
home. Back in my own time.

INT. CROWN POINT CAFE - DAY - MOVING WITH SAM

as he gropes about the room in a futile search for the Imaging Chamber door, he moves past Andy who is talking in a low and excited voice to someone on the other end of a hand-cranked telephone. On the wall beside the phone is a 1945 pin up calendar featuring Ava Gardner.

SAM'S VOICE
And it was turning into a
nightmare.
(beat)
I was trapped in the Quantum Leap
Imaging Chamber and the only way
out was through the handlink in
Al's pocket and Al was back in....
(eyeing the
calendar)
...nineteen forty-five.

MIRROR SHOT

Kelly, the cafe's owner, cook, waitress and chief-bottle washer, heaps home fries onto a plate of steak and eggs and turns to set them in front of a handsome, twenty-eight year old Army Captain, who's busily wolfing down buckwheat pancakes.

KELLY
Steak and eggs, buckwheat
pancakes, home fries, whole wheat
toast and black coffee.

We pan off the mirror to reveal....

THE OBSERVER

wolfing down the pancakes. Behind him, Sam (who did not reflect in the mirror) is feeling the air in his search for the Imaging Chamber door.

KELLY
(pouring coffee)
How long's it been since you had
a breakfast like this, Tom?

OBSERVER
Too long.
(checking the sugar
bowl)
Got any Sweet and Low or Equal?

KELLY
Sweet and Low? Equal?

SAM
They didn't have artificial
sweeteners in forty-five, Al.
(admiring Kelly's
breasts)
But they sure had women with big
jugs.

Sam can't believe he said that and neither can Al, who surprisingly, shoots him an admonishing look. Chagrinned, Sam goes back to searching for the door.

OBSERVER
(answering Kelly)
They're...ah...sugar substitutes
Uncle Sam's developed for the
military.

Mike slips onto the stool next to Al and Kelly pours him a fresh cup of coffee.

KELLY
We sure could use something like
that on the home front. Even with
the Cafe I'm rationed to
half-a-pound of sugar a week....

She slaps Mike's hand as he heaps a teaspoon of sugar into his cup.

KELLY
(continuing)
...and Mike tries to put it all
into his cup.



MIKE
You forgetting who slips you an
extra pound of butter now and
then?

KELLY
(coyly)
I didn't think I was swappin'
sugar for it.

FEATURE SAM

He leans in lecherously to Kelly

SAM
Honey, if all it takes is a pound
of butter, I got a dairy farm
that....

OBSERVER
(to Sam)
Stop it!

Sam is Chagrinned as much by what he said as Al's shout. Mike and Kelly both freeze and stare at Al. Sam begins to apologize profusely to Kelly, who can't hear him.

SAM
(rapid-fire)
Oh, God, I'm so sorry! This is so
humiliating. I can't imagine
what's come over me.
(looks to Al)
Actually I can.
(pointing)
It's all his fault!

OBSERVER
My fault!

SAM
Yes!
(beat)
I picked up your
lecherous side in
the leap!


MIKE
No, no.
(beat)
It's tough coming home
from a war.

Giblet

Sam grabs his head as more prurient thoughts flash through his mind.



SAM
(to Al)
What a filthy mind!

OBSERVER
(to Sam)
I'm not the one talking dirty!

KELLY
(embarrassed)
Sorry, Tom. I guess we all need
to wash our minds out with soap
after this war.

OBSERVER
(to Sam)
Especially you.

MIKE
Did I say the F word, again?
(beat)
I'm sorry. It's a hard habit to
break after Guadalcanal.

The bell over the door jingles and Mike looks from whoever has opened the door to Al with a grin. Al turns to see....

SUSANNE

backlit in the open doorway. She's twenty-four and as pretty as a field of buttercups. Her blue eyes sparkle with moisture as she tenderly smiles at Al.

ON THE OBSERVER

Mesmerized by her beauty, he slowly rises to his feet.

ON MIKE AND KELLY

Both beaming with pleasure as they watch.

ON SAM

He gives her a once over that we usually associate with Al.

FEATURE SUSANNE

As the screen door slowly closes behind her, she runs across the cafe and leaps into Al's arms. She kisses him with a passion usually reserved for feature films. As they part she looks up into his eyes and sighs.



SUSANNE
Oh, Tommie....

Then, she kisses him, again. Kelly takes Mike's hand and gives it a squeeze. Susanne finally lets Al up for air.

SUSANNE
(teary-eyed)
I didn't believe you were alive.
Not even when I heard your voice
on the phone.
(leaning in)
Not until now.

She bends Al back over the pie case in a kiss so passionate it damn near bubbles the apple pie.

SAM
Al, she keeps this up and I'll
need a bucket of cold water to
separate you.

Sam immediately cringes at his words. Al slides down onto the stool with Susanne still locked onto him. Finally, Susane breaks it off and slumps onto a stool next to him.

SUSANNE
Wow!

OBSERVER
(weak)
Wow....

MIKE
I knew it! I knew getting you two
together would put the kabosh on
Susanne marrying Clifford.

OBSERVER
Clifford?

SUSANNE
(defensive)
He's changed a lot since you
shipped out, Tommie.

KELLY
Yeah. His feet got flat so he
could get classified 4-F.

SUSANNE
His feet have always been flat.

MIKE
Not until after Pearl Harbor.

SUSANNE
(to Al)
Clifford felt terrible about being
classified 4-F. He does
everything he can to support the
war effort.
(beat)
He organized the biggest scrap
metal drive in the state of
Indiana! The Governor even gave
him a citation.

Mike taps the ribbons on Al's chest.

MIKE
These are citations, Susanne.
Silver Star. Purple Heart.

KELLY
It doesn't matter now. Tom's back
and he's the guy she'll marry.
(beat)
Right, Susanne?

ANOTHER ANGLE

Susanne looks to Al and then to Mike and Kelly. She looks undecided.

SAM
Oh, oh.
(beat)
This could be why you're here, Al.
To get Susanne to sleep with
you....
(quick correction)
...marry you.

OBSERVER
Marry me?

Susanne turns and flings her arms around Al.

SUSANNE
Of course I'll marry you, darling.

She bends him over in another long, passionate kiss.

CLIFFORD'S VOICE
Susanne Elsinga!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Standing outside the screen door is Clifford...glasses, bow-tie, straw hat and seersucker suit. He opens the screen door and enters, his face flushed red.

CLIFFORD
What are you doing!

SAM
It's called sucking face. Very
popular in the sixties, seventies,
eighties....

OBSERVER
(to Sam)
Will you shut up.

CLIFFORD
No, I will not shut up!
(beat)
That woman you're ravishing is
practically my wife!

MIKE
(cheerfully)
Not any more.

CLIFFORD
What do you mean by that?

SAM
You're about to find out, nozzle
nose.
(Chagrinned)
Nozzle nose?

MIKE
Tom just proposed to Susanne and
she accepted!

CLIFFORD
(to Susanne)
You can't be serious?
(beat)
We're to be married in two days!
(beat)
What's my mother and father going
to say?

SAM
Cancel the church. Cancel the
reception hall. Cancel the band.

SUSANNE
(confused)
Oh...oh....

Clifford moves closer to her and softens his voice.

CLIFFORD
I know how confusing this must be
for you, darling.
(beat)
A ghost from the past appears and
it's only natural that you have
some old yearnings.

SAM
And I'd like to satisfy them.
(abashed)
What am I saying!

CLIFFORD
See this for that it is, Suzie.
A connection to the past that
you've outgrown...like running
barefoot through sprinklers.

OBSERVER
(a Sam thought)
I love running barefoot through
sprinklers.

Now Al's the one who can't believe what he's saying.

SUSANNE
(quickly)
So, do I.

CLIFFORD
(to Al)
You know, you have a lot of nerve
coming back two days before our
wedding, Jarret.

Mike jumps up off the stool so quickly his artificial leg goes out from under him and he has to grab the counter to catch himself. Kelly comes around the counter to help and restrain him.

MIKE
You draft-dodging,
chicken-farting, piss-ant!

KELLY
(sarcastic)
Why don't you tell him how you
really feel, Mike.

CLIFFORD
(cooly)
I may not have given a leg for my
country or been in a prisoner of
war camp, but that doesn't make me
any less a man.
(beat)
Those of us who stayed behind made
sacrifices too. Only we didn't
get any of the glory.

OBSERVER
Just all the women.

CLOSER ON ALL

Clifford's eyes flare. Kelly looks embarrased.

CLIFFORD
If you weren't so weak from being
in a German prison camp....

OBSERVER
Yeah, I know, you'd teach me a
lesson.
(beat)
Well I just had some of Kelly's
breakfast and I feel like I could
take on Mike Tyson.

Sam realizes where Al is coming from and tries to intervene.

SAM
(warning)
Al...this isn't the
guy that married Beth.


MIKE
(to Kelly)
Who the hell is
Mike Tyson?


OBSERVER
(answering both)
It doesn't matter.

Clifford nods curtly and strides toward the screen door with Al on his tail. Susanne runs after them.


SUSANNE
I don't want you fighting over me!

SAM
It isn't over you,
it's over Beth!


KELLY
Are you kidding? I wish
I had two men fightin'
over me!


EXT. CROWN POINT CAFE - DAY - SFX

Sam comes through the wall as the others pour out through the screen door. Clifford and Al both peel their coats off.


SAM
Al, you can't do this! We don't
even know why you're here!

OBSERVER
I think I'm here to kick
Clifford's ass.

SAM
Al!


MIKE
I love it!


KELLY
Tommy, don't forget. He boxed in
Princeton.

CLIFFORD
(taking a stance)
Yale. But I beat the best
Princeton coupld put in the ring
with me.

THE FIGHT

Clifford begins to circle Al, bouncing on the balls of his feet. The Observer, his arms relaxed at his side, slowly pivots with him.


OBSERVER
Funny...you're not bouncing like
your flat-footed.

Clifford glances down and Al executes Sam's famous round-house kick, catching the boxer on the chin and knocking him out before he hits the dirt.


SAM
I didn't know you could do that?

OBSERVER
Neither did I.

As the others gather around Clifford's unconscious body, we....

CUT TO



EXT. COWN POINT STREET - DAY

Mike's dairy truck pulls to a stop in front of a small cottage that looks very much like Beth's house. Al climbs out with his gear.

MIKE
Think a one-legged man could do
that move?

OBSERVER
If he doesn't mind falling on his
ass.

MIKE
(laughs)
It sure is good having you home,
buddy.

OBSERVER
(looking at the
house)
It's good to be home.

Mike puts the dairy truck into gear and pulls away.

MIKE
(calling back)
I'll bring your car back this
afternoon. I've taken good care
of it!

OBSERVER
Thanks.

ANOTHER ANGLE

A sexy girl in short-shorts and a sweater full of 1945 pointed tits walks past. We move into Al's face with suddenly looks very upset.

OBSERVER
A body like that and all I can
think is pure thoughts?
(beat)
Damn you, Sam.

He shakes his head and awlks up to the front door.

ON THE DOOR LATCH

It is dusty with cobwebs. Al presses down on the latch and the door slowly creaks open.

ON THE OBSERVER - SFX

He smiles and pushes the unlocked door open.

OBSERVER
Small towns.

As Al bends down to pick up his bags, the door opens through Sam who is standing there. Al straightens up and is startled to see Sam's smiling face in his.

OBSERVER
Don't do that!

SAM
(savoring the
moment)
Revenge is mine sayeth the
Hologram.

Al shudders as Sam walks through him and onto the porch.

OBSERVER
Okay, you've made your
point!
(beat)
What?


SAM
I know how to open the
Chamber door.


SAM
I know how to open the Chamber
door.
(beat)
I designed Ziggy with a secret
backdoor code to override any
blocks...even those dealing with
catastrophic failures.
(beat)
All we have to do is get my
backdoor code to Gushie and he'll
be able to override Ziggy.



OBSERVER
Is that all?
(beat)
What do we do, wait half a
century?

SAM
In a sense, yes. But for us it
will be instantaneous.
(excited)
It'll work, Al. We can put the
code in a letter to be delivered
to Gushie in...exactly how long
have I been leaping around?

OBSERVER
(after a moment)
Four years. It's nineteen ninty
nine.

SAM
(awed)
I'll be home in time for the
millennium.

OBSERVER
Who's going to wait fifty four
years to deliver a letter?

SAM
The post office...and Doc
Crosnoff, my dad's lawyer. You
mail him a letter with say...a
hundred dollars.

OBSERVER
For what the stamp?

SAM
It's nineteen forty-five. A
hundred dollars will do quite
nicely.
(beat)
YOu mail him a letter with the
hundred dollars and a sealed
letter to Gushie with the code.

OBSERVER
It could work.

SAM
It has to work.

Off Al's look, we....

CUT TO



CLOSE ON A LETTER

poised over a green mail box.

OBSERVER'S VOICE
But what if it doesn't?

WIDER ANGLE

The mailbox is just off the town square. Al is holding the letter and Sam is anxiously pacing back and forth behind him.

SAM
We're never going to find out if
you don't mail that....

Sam suddenly takes a deep breath as a wave of anxiety sweeps through him.

Giblet

OBSERVER
Sam! What's wrong?

SAM
(breathing hard)
I dno't know.

OBSERVER
You're running out of air!

SAM
There's enough air in the Imaging
Chamber to sustain me for six
months. I'd die of thirst first.
(beat)
It's my memory, Al. My memory's
coming back!

OBSERVER
(slowly)
All of it?

SAM
Oh, God!
(beat)
Why didn't you tell me!

OBSERVER
I couldn't, Sam. I couldn't!

SAM
Drop it in the mailbox!

CLOSE ON THE MAILBOX SLOT

Al holds the letter for a beat more, then lets it drop into the slot.

ON SAM AND AL - SFX

for a moment nothing happens, then the Chamber door opens behind them.

ON SAM

He stares at the door, afraid to believe it's true. Then he gives one more glance back at Al and runs through the door shouting.

SAM
Donna!

ON THE OBSERVER

He smiles through the tears as we....

FADE OUT



END OF ACT TWO





ACT THREE

FADE IN

INT. QUANTUM LEAP CONTROL CENTER - DAY - ON THE IMAGING CHAMBER DOOR - SFX

Through the open door we see the weak holographic images of Al and the town square at Crown Point disintegrate as Sam runs into the intense white light of the tube leading into the control center.

CLOSE ON SAM - SFX

He stops and shields his eyes against the blinding light. Behind him the Imaging Chamber door slams shut. The blazing lights in the tube dim, leaving Sam bathed in a shimmering blue glow.

WIDER ANGLE

Sam stands near the perimeter of a circular ceramic room with three exit tubes and an elevator. The tubes are marked: Imaging Chamber, Waiting Room and Accelerator Chamber. The elevator leads to the surface. The shimmering blue light is emanating from a glass sphere floating without visible support above the center of the room. The sphere is filled with living brain tissue immersed in a nutrient solution. THIS IS ZIGGY.

ON SAM

As his vision recovers he turns toward a computer control console that looks like a large handlink.

ON THE CONTROL CONSOLE

A dozen project engineers and technicians, in Observer-type civilian attire, and a female Navy Admiral are standing around the console with expressions ranging from awe to elation. Prominent among them is Gushie, Dr. Beeks, Tina and....

DONNA ELESEE

Bathed in the blue light, she steps out from the group. Her eyes are brimming with joy.

ON SAM

His heart beat quickens at the sight of her.

SAM
(softly)
Donna....

ON DONNA

She walks slowly toward Sam, afraid that any rapid movement might break the moment.

ON BOTH

He, too, moves hesitantly toward her. Then, their attraction overcomes their fear and they practically fling their bodies across the last few feet of space to clench in a tight embrace with Ziggy hovering above them.

ON GUSHIE, DR. BEEKS AND TINA

They join the others in applause and cheers.

ON SAM AND DONNA

Even when they part from their passionate kiss, Sam continues to tenderly hold her face between his hands.

SAM
(with guilt)
How could I have forgotten you?

DONNA
It wasn't your fault, darling.
(beat)
All that's important is that you
remember me, now.

SAM
Of course I remember you...you're
the woman I love. My wife.

He pulls her to him and kisses her with a thirst that's been unconsciously building for years. The Quantum Leap staff excitedly encircles the embraced couple.

ANOTHER ANGLE

As Sam and Donna's lips part she gently turns him by his shoulders to face his team.Gushie is the first one to embrace him in a back-slapping hug.

SAM
Gushie!

GUSHIE
Welcome back, Doctor Beckett!
(holding up the
letter)
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant!

SAM
When did you get it?

GUSHIE
Post Office delivered it today.
Fifty four years, seven months and
six days after it was mailed!

One after another the team greats their leader. when he reaches Dr. Virbina Beeks, he kisses her on both cheeks.

DR. BEEKS
I don't recall your leaping into
any Frenchmen.

SAM
I think I picked that up from an
actor.

DR. BEEKS
I want to be sure you haven't
picked anything else up. My
office in twenty minutes for a
physical.

Donna slips her arm protectively around Sam.

DONNA
Your office, tomorrow.
(beat)
Tonight, he's mine.

FEMALE ADIMIRAL
He has to be debriefed, Doctor.

SAM
(ala Groucho)
I'm not wearing briefs but don't
let that stop you.

Everyone is a bit aback at Sam's line except Tina who smiles wistfully as she turns to Gushie.

TINA
Gee...he sounds just like Al.

Sam greets a few more engineers and then sees Tina.

SAM
Tina!
(hugging her)
Ohhhhh, do you feel good.

TINA
You even hug like Al.

SAM
(back to reality)
Al!
(to Gushie)
What's he there to do?

GUSHIE
Ziggy doesn't know.

DONNA
Don't you remember? The data in
the memory banks was limited....

SAM
(finishing)
...to my lifetime. And, Al's in
nineteen forty-five.

GUSHIE
We didn't even know that until we
got your letter.

DONNA
We've been loading Ziggy with data
from forty-five as fast as we can
pull it from the National
Archives, but it could be days
until Ziggy projects a theory on
what Al's there to do.

Sam turns and loosk up.

SAM'S POV - ZIGGY

Floating serenely above everyone, emitting the shimmering blue light.

BACK ON SAM

He crosses to the console with Donna at his side and lays a hand on one of the Lucite panels.

SAM
Hello, Ziggy.

INTERACT WITH



ZIGGY

Who speaks in the same sexy female voice that we've heard deliver the saga sell for three seasons.

ZIGGY'S VOICE
(peeved)
It's about time you got around to
me, Doctor Beckett.

SAM
Sorry.

ZIGGY'S VOICE
No, need to apologize. I don't
expect contact until you need me.

SAM
(looking for a
compliment)
You're looking very...user
friendly.

Sam winces and mouths he's sorry to Donna and the others.

ZIGGY'S VOICE
I see that simo-leaping with
Admiral Calavicci has had a
positive affect on you.
(envious)
You're in for some pleasant
surprises, Doctor Elesee.

DONNA
I guess so.

SAM
Ziggy....

ZIGGY'S VOICE
(drawn out)
Yesssss.

SAM
Do you have enough....

ZIGGY'S VOICE
(interrupting)
...data to give you a reasonably
accurate projection as to why
Admiral Calavicci has leaped into
Crown Point, Indiana in the year
nineteen forty-five?

SAM
Ah...yeah.

ZIGGY'S VOICE
(terse)
No.

SAM
Do you have any data on Admiral
Calavicci?

ZIGGY'S VOICE
He'll kiss the girls and make them
cry.

TINA
Ain't that the truth.

DONNA
(reading the screen)
That's based only on absorbing
Al's biographical background up to
the age of seven.

SAM
Ziggy....

ZIGGY'S VOICE
Yes, Doctor Beckett.

SAM
You've made some brilliant
theoretical hypothesis with
minimal data over the past four
years.

ZIGGY'S VOICE
That's true.

SAM
I'd like you to make one now.

ZIGGY'S VOICE
I don't think so, Doctor.

DONNA
Why not?

ZIGGY'S VOICE
I'm dealing with too many
data-limited factors. The
Admiral. This Captain Tom Jarret
he's leaped into. A year no one
had the foresight to pre-load into
my memory banks.
(to herself)
Actually I was doing quite well
absorbing the year until Franklin
Delano Roosevelt died. It
depressed me.
(beat)
Try me in eleven point six hours.

SAM
What if the Admiral doesn't have
eleven point six hours?

ZIGGY'S VOICE
I believe your brain is still
slightly magnafluxed Doctor
Beckett or you'd remember I never
experience guilt.
(beat)
That's a flaw found only in human
computers.
(brightly)
Goodnight, Doctor.
(sexual innuendo)
Have fun, you two.

SAM
Ziggy....

DONNA
It won't do any good.

SAM
Why did I give her Wearren Beatty's
ego?

NEW ANGLE FEATURING SAM

He begins to touch various prisms on the control console.

GUSHIE
What are you doing, Doctor
Beckett?

SAM
Setting up the Imaging Chamber.
I have to find out what's
happening to Al.

DONNA
You can't.

SAM
(softly)
Honey, I know I just got here.
It's not like I'd really be going
back. I'll just go into the
Chamber to make contact.

DONNA
That's not what I mean. You can't
use the Chamber. Not for....

She look to Gushie who checks a handlink similar to Al's that's plugged into his side of the console.

GUSHIE
Seven hours, ten minutes and five
seconds. Four seconds. Three
Seconds.
(catching himself)
Sorry.

SAM
(surprised)
You didn't keep the back-up
handlink charged?

DONNA
It only holds a charge for
seventy-two hours and at a million
dollars a charge we simply didn't
have the money in the budget.

Sam realizes she is right, but it doesn't dissipate his frustration. Donna puts her arm in his.

DONNA
Gushie will have the Chamber ready
by the time the handlink's
charged.

GUSHIE
Go home, Doctor.

SAM
(wistfully)
Home.

DONNA
Home, darling. Home.

Sam relents and starts with her toward the elevator. As the doors open he turns and loosk back to the Imaging Chamber.

SAM
(to himself)
Hang in, Al.
(beat)
Hang in.

ON THE IMAGING CHAMBER TUBE

As we move in on this unique ceramic portal we hear Bing Crosby and the Andrew Sisters singing "Is You Is Or Is You Ain't My Baby?" and....

DISSOLVE TO



EXT. MOONLIT LAKE IN INDIANA - NIGHT - STOCK

A soft breeze ripples the surface of the water, shimmering the reflection of the moon.

EXT. ON A WHITEWALL TIRE - NIGHT

We rise from the tire and over the streamlined fender of a '41 Ford convertible to discover Al and Susanne. She has cornered him behind the steering wheel and is trying to strip his tie and shirt as she kisses him. He is turn between his usual urges and his Sam-onized mind which is resisting. His mind wins and he gently pushes Susanne away and re-buttons his shirt.

SUSANNE
(coyly)
Captain Tom Jarret, how you've
changed.

OBSERVER
You don't know the half of it.

SUSANNE
I remember when it was all I could
do to keep you from....
(whispers)
...you know.

OBSERVER
Oh, I do. I do.
(beat)
But something's happened to
my...mind.

SUSANNE
It's the war. It does it to all
the boys.

OBSERVER
(suspicious)
How would you know?

SUSANNE
Clifford told me.

OBSERVER
Figures.
(beat)
What a nozzle.

SUSANNE
(defending)
He read it in Reader's Digest.

OBSERVER
(sarcastic)
Oh, well, then it's gotta be true.

SUSANNE
Well, even Mike had problems when
he came home and you know how he
and Kelly were before the war.