Long term relationships and 3sums

Stephanos

I am not sure if this topic has come up before but I would like to get others opinions on it. It is something that I think many individuals may have come across.

I have come across couples who, in the past, have been in relationships and had 3sums involving their partner and a third party. One particular circumstance involved an individual who had been with his then boyfriend for two years. During the course of their relationship they had two threesomes. He claimed the reason for having the ménage à trois was that he had started to have sexual desires for other men. The 3sum allowed him and his partner to work any sexual frustration out of their systems. The person in question did love his partner and was very committed to him. Following this they both resumed their normal loving relationship.

I suppose I would like to get other people’s opinions on the matter. Do you think such a relationship is a sham? Does strict monogamy classify a truly committed loving relationship? Should the relationship be abandoned when both parties are sexually attracted to other people? I think that it is admirable that action was taken to salvage the relationship. In the long run it is easy to cheat without your partner's knowledge but perhaps it is harder (and safer) to make a mutual decision on whether to have a 3sum?

It is something that raises a lot of considerations/issues. Would anyone like to share their insights/opinions/experiences?

moridin

I think it would be something that would very much depend on the individuals involved to be honest. Some people would be okay with it, others less so.

azezil

Well the longest I've had has been 4 months, but around the 3 / 4 month period, those thoughts do start to creep in... weather I'd act on them, I'm not sure.

Stark

If it works for them then cool. One threesome a year isn't a lot, ie: it's obvious it isn't compulsive behaviour, and the important thing is that both partners were okay with it.

carbonkid

Stephanos wrote:

Do you think such a relationship is a sham? Does strict monogamy classify a truly committed loving relationship?

There is no handbook on what a relationship is ment to be like. If both partners involved want to have the odd 3sum now and again and doesnt cause any problems later down the line then thats great. I dont think i could do it and unfortunately from friends experiences the only gay couples that seem to last are openly non-monogamous

Dreh

carbonkid wrote:

unfortunately from friends experiences the only gay couples that seem to last are openly non-monogamous

I have some friends in Brazil that have a long relantionship and are not openly. :cool:
Thanks God there is some hope yet hahaha