Chat Up Lines

Gator

Ok....we all know they suck ass when your sober or looking at other fools actually trying to use them but when I go out with my mates we have a good laugh to see who can come up with cheesiest ...its gas..

my personal favourite is "my names Justin.....justin incredible"....anyone have any funny ones

Vodka Junkie

Can't claim to have ever used a chat-up line with the intention of it working but I do remember one we had a few years ago: "You must live in the woods...
Because you're a fox!" It doesn't get much sadder than that.

Dave!

I've never used it, but I intend to:

"How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice -- hi, I'm Dave..."

*conversation ensues resulting in sex for Dave*

That's the plan, anywho

stovelid

Not really a chat up line but it made me laugh.
At my wedding, my best man's brother was chatting up a girl. When his mate was going to bed, we heard the mate call over to him

"Are we still going swimming in the morning?".

"Yes" he answered.

The mate says "what room are you in?"

He looks at at the girl (genuinely confused) and says "what room are we in?".

thelordofcheese

My personal favourite is:

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Setun

Vodka Junkie wrote:

Can't claim to have ever used a chat-up line with the intention of it working but I do remember one we had a few years ago: "You must live in the woods...
Because you're a fox!" It doesn't get much sadder than that.

^ Lmao

My mate actually uses this one:
"Hello there Miss, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you down to the station under section 2A of the looking-too-hot Act 2006"
Hasn't really worked for him yet...

galah

Vodka Junkie wrote:

It doesn't get much sadder than that.

Yes, it does:
One chancer in a nightclub in Dublin (off his trolley, I hope!) a couple of years ago:

"Hey, wanna f*ck?"

Kinetic^

Gator wrote:

my personal favourite is "my names Justin.....justin incredible"....anyone have any funny ones

Believe it or not, he actually uses this line....and it works!!!

I use the line...."Lose the pantaloons", perfect record so far

Doolittle51

"look at your watch"
<girl looks at her watch>
"It's late, you'll do - get your coat"

marius

fav: 'How's your arse for lovebites?'

2'nd fav: 'nice tits - do you like my arse?'

....im very lonely

Tha Gopher

DaveMcG wrote:

I've never used it, but I intend to:

"How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice -- hi, I'm Dave..."

*conversation ensues resulting in sex for Dave*

That's the plan, anywho

ROFL, thats brilliant

I dont go for that cheese, I just get drunk and start waffling about how beautiful they are. Rather bad example of my oh so rare failings and slip ups a few weeks back, was chattin to a Filipino bird outside Spirit

Me "So where do ya work?"
Her "I work in the Rotunda hospital"
Me (rubbered)"No way..... I was born there!" :rolleyes:

So much in common

me and the biz

One my mate has used on a few occasions

Him "If your left leg was Easter and your right leg was Christmas... Can I visit between the holidays?"

Success rate = 0 lol

Blisterman

My friend uses "If I weren't gay, I'd sleep with you"

Surprisingly, it actually works.

Daithio

A friend of mine once told a Swedish girl 'I'd heard Swedish women were beautiful, but now I know for sure.' How ****ing cheesy is that? The sad thing is it worked too.

BrenC

"my name is Bond, Polly Bond, Im here to fill in your crack" lol, I couldn't stop laughing when I heard that first.

Dun laoire

"sit here on my lap, we can talk about the first thing that pops up"

Success rate: 0

scojones

My uncle told me a story of his mate chatting up some girl at a wedding. He said something like:

"You're so lovely, I'd love to chop your head off and put it above my fire place".

She slapped him and stormed off

:|

im cos squared theta, you must be sin squared theta, together we are one.....its never actually been used but i still think its hilarious! and nerdy

Sofaspud

stovelid wrote:

Not really a chat up line but it made me laugh.
At my wedding, my best man's brother was chatting up a girl. When his mate was going to bed, we heard the mate call over to him

"Are we still going swimming in the morning?".

"Yes" he answered.

The mate says "what room are you in?"

He looks at at the girl (genuinely confused) and says "what room are we in?".

Now _that_ is a line!

Absolutely genius.

Can't beat Will Smith's ones, though.

<accent>
"I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field o y'all"
</accent>

The_Minister

Hi I'm a necrophiliac wanna play dead?

Say it only to birds who won't understand.

Tobias Greeshman

wrote:

im cos squared theta, you must be sin squared theta, together we are one.....its never actually been used but i still think its hilarious! and nerdy

And if you ever do decide to use it, you'll probably end up in a cold bed!!

Your eyes are like spanners..... every time you look at me my nuts tighten

Nevyn

wrote:

im cos squared theta, you must be sin squared theta, together we are one.....its never actually been used but i still think its hilarious! and nerdy

Wow I like that one.

Sam Vimes

how's your belly for a lodger?

if i could rearrange the alphabet i'd put u and i together

all my mates said you're mingin' but i think you're acceptable

Hail 2 Da Chimp

"You might not think it to look at me but im a very fast runner"


The chicks... they love it.

funk-you

</scango accent/> Me chickens auldfella is only masif, ye stallin' it? </scango accent/>

-Funk

Kinetic^

How's your gee for a gallop!!!!!!

Dirk Gently

bloke in work said this to a girl in a pub at the end of the night,

story love, whats the story with me, you and your gee. (it worked)

shepherd

A chick once used a chat up line on me... 5min in the door, came over 'n said I looked like the local baker [twas a small town out west]... (it worked)

Gator

Whoa baby......you with alll those curves and me with no brakes!!!!!!

R0ot

Didnt i create a thread like this a good while back?
Yep there it is:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=295051

Tar.Aldarion

"There are only 10 types of people in this world, those that understand binary and those that don't." *Kisses her while she is confused*

Kinetic^

R0ot wrote:

Didnt i create a thread like this a good while back?
Yep there it is:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=295051

Didn't I tell you to shut up..No...shut up.....now I did!!!!

Gator

Keyser Soze 5 wrote:

Didn't I tell you to shut up..No...shut up.....now I did!!!!

Yeah yeah yeah

!_Brian_!

Fancy a lodger?



Wanna go halves on a b@stard?!



Personal fav:


You see two girls standing by the bar. One of them deadly like and the other not so deadly. You walk up to the not so deadly one and ask her "Do you want to dance?" Hopefully she says yes and you reply with, "Great. Fcuk off so, I wanna talk to your firend!" lol


Strangely enough, I dont think I've seen that oe working!

stovelid

And course, it worked. The f*cker.

Sofaspud wrote:

Now _that_ is a line!

Absolutely genius.

Crucifix

I'm ashamed for even having thought of this one but:
"I must be an electron tonight, because I'm attracted to your hole"
My comrades and I have generated tons of physics related ones, but I can't think of any others at the moment.

:|

Crucifix wrote:

I'm ashamed for even having thought of this one but:
"I must be an electron tonight, because I'm attracted to your hole"
My comrades and I have generated tons of physics related ones, but I can't think of any others at the moment.

Ahahahaha brilliant. thought of any now?

eiretamicha

Hehe, the one that worked on my husband when we met at the pub:

Me: Oh I like your hat!
Him: Mm-hhmmm!
Me: (Steals it and puts it on)
Him: (Smiles all confused-like)
Me: (Looks in the mirror behind the bar) Hey, it looks better on me!

Don't know what it was about that one...but it really did work!

[Jackass]

"You're such a fat whore you're lucky I'd even look at you, but tonight is like all your christmas' come together cause I'm desperate for a shag and you're a sure thing....get your coat love....hope you have money for the taxi.."

A Primal Nut

Stare at a girl with a stern look on your face. The she says: "What"!? Then you say "it ain't gonna suck itself"!

Crucifix

wrote:

Ahahahaha brilliant. thought of any now?

Eh...not really. There were lots of fairly vulgar ones about 'penetration depth'.

funk-you

"I know its pretty but i didn't take it out for air"

-Funk

Rollo Tamasi

would you hold it against me if i told you you have a beautiful body?

^ it worked for me but your wan was a slapper, i could have asked her the ingredients for laslange and got my bit off her

regards, hugs and kisses XOXOXOXO
Rollo.

Funsterdelux

"Do you think trying is the first step towards failure?"
Yes = No show
No = In there, somewhat
Dont Know = In Limbo, but all is not lost.

AnitaMcCluskey

My friends favourite, (never worked)

Is that a mirror in your knickers? Coz I can see myself in them later!

Him: Moo!
Her: WTF?
Him: I want you to ride me like a bronco bull - IT WORKED

uncle ernie

thelordofcheese wrote:

My personal favourite is:

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

lmao

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Look at her shirt label. When she says, "What are you doing?": Checking to see if you were made in heaven.

Lick finger and wipe on her shirt. "Let's get you out of these wet clothes."