50 things I hate about Ireland - Number 42 Limerick

Arathorn

From the Sunday Tribunes article - 50 Things I hate about Ireland

"42 Limerick
Stab City has all the attractions of a funeral parlour and certainly less of the life. If there’s a grimier place in Ireland then please don’t let me know its identity."

Thought this was a bit harsh, I think anyone in Limerick this weekend would have to disagree with this!!

bazz26

Arathorn wrote:

From the Sunday Tribunes article - 50 Things I hate about Ireland

"42 Limerick
Stab City has all the attractions of a funeral parlour and certainly less of the life. If there’s a grimier place in Ireland then please don’t let me know its identity."

Thought this was a bit harsh, I think anyone in Limerick this weekend would have to disagree with this!!

Old predictable news.

Not many pay much attention to the Sunday Tribune these days anyway. Probably just looking to raise a bit of controversy to sell a few papers.

As you said the weekend's atmosphere in the city speaks alot louder than a few lines in some silly rag.

Inge Binge

Arathorn wrote:

"42 Limerick
Stab City has all the attractions of a funeral parlour and certainly less of the life. If there’s a grimier place in Ireland then please don’t let me know its identity."

Pacifico

Only number 42?

monkeyfudge

Limerick is clearly the answer to life, the universe and everything.

Jumpy

Well it is feckin grimy here, I have to admit.
Zero litter control.

Crea

Wonderful - another post of Limerick people bashing Limerick.
No wonder the whole country is happy to put us down when people like you are leading the charge.
I think the scenes in Limerick over the weekend will do wonders to improve our reputation so give over with the negativity.

Inge Binge

Crea wrote:

Wonderful - another post of Limerick people bashing Limerick.
No wonder the whole country is happy to put us down when people like you are leading the charge.
I think the scenes in Limerick over the weekend will do wonders to improve our reputation so give over with the negativity.
______________

Especially the vomit, the broken beer bottles, the cigarette butts, the trashed beer cans, the SUPERMACS wraps and the ABRAKEBABRA burger boxes on the street on sunday morning. What a great atmosphere!

Who did THIS? I know, it's all the newspapers fault!

IB

cornbb

Crea wrote:

Wonderful - another post of Limerick people bashing Limerick.
No wonder the whole country is happy to put us down when people like you are leading the charge.
I think the scenes in Limerick over the weekend will do wonders to improve our reputation so give over with the negativity.

Limerick has problems, like any other city. Don't you think the first step to solving these problems is admitting that they exist?

Inge Binge

cornbb wrote:

Limerick has problems, like any other city. Don't you think the first step to solving these problems is admitting that they exist?

MT, 7.3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

IB

Amazotheamazing

I think there's some merit in the criticism, whether we want to accept it or not. I don't think Limerick is grim, but it is a dirty city. However, on big match days, there's nowhere else in the country that compares to Limerick.

mysterious

Amazotheamazing wrote:

I think there's some merit in the criticism, whether we want to accept it or not. I don't think Limerick is grim, but it is a dirty city. However, on big match days, there's nowhere else in the country that compares to Limerick.

Agree with Amazontheamazing...

Another thing we should point out, Limerick is improving year on year in the Nationwide litter survey, It did a lot better than Cork for that matter.

Although there are serious litter spots in the city centre and some estates etc.

It's getting desperate, when it comes to bringing down Limerick, I really really just wonder why, as of now the stab city name is now history, crime in Limerick is nothing like what the media make it out to be. So what is the Media's agenda here, we know Dublin is trying to attract attention here, but why? It's pointless..

Back to the Litter and the grim issue...
There are some areas of Limerick that are just horrible,(like any other other city) I will admit, and that is the Island and William/Sarfield street areas. There is so much confidence in this city, money seems to be flowing in and out of this city, why cant they at least improve the image of some of the city's main streets..

Inge Binge

mysterious wrote:

There are some areas of Limerick that are just horrible, I will admit and that is the Island and William/Sarfield street. There is so much confidence in this city, money seems to be flowing in and out of this city, why cant they at least improve the image of some of the city's main streets..

For me it is O'Connel Street as Limericks main street that gives a horrible impression...

Who is "they" - who do you expect to keep the town tidy? You can't expect a litter warden walking day by day hour for hour around city centre to pick up the trash. It works in the Peoples Park - and that's great there!!! I really love this place in Limerick! But it won't work for the whole town centre. It's up to the people to change the image of their town! But as long as the PEOPLE keep THEIR OWN town like a dump - what do we expect to change in the pictures that others have about the city?

IB

billy the squid

bazz26 wrote:

Old predictable news.

Not many pay much attention to the Sunday Tribune these days anyway. Probably just looking to raise a bit of controversy to sell a few papers.

As you said the weekend's atmosphere in the city speaks alot louder than a few lines in some silly rag.

Well if the rock he crawled out from was any better he wouldn't have to travel around the world to get away from it.

Secondly he commented in his article that the weather was crap. well if they didnt cut down all those trees to print his ****e then we would have a better environment and climate too.

Rough guide, indeed, it chaifed when I wiped my arse with it.

I believe I pissed off a certain Sunday Tribune staffer when he singled out limerick in a podcast immediately after the Dublin Riots as a centre of criminal activity.

billy the squid

Inge Binge wrote:

Especially the vomit, the broken beer bottles, the cigarette butts, the trashed beer cans, the SUPERMACS wraps and the ABRAKEBABRA burger boxes on the street on sunday morning. What a great atmosphere!

Who did THIS? I know, it's all the newspapers fault!

IB

You would get that at any event where thousands of people gather like that. be it a concert or a rock festival. There were upwards of 15,000 people in two city blocks of o connell street on Saturday.

bazz26

Inge Binge wrote:

Especially the vomit, the broken beer bottles, the cigarette butts, the trashed beer cans, the SUPERMACS wraps and the ABRAKEBABRA burger boxes on the street on sunday morning. What a great atmosphere!

Who did THIS? I know, it's all the newspapers fault!

IB

Have you ever been to Cardiff which was similar after the FA Cup final, Heinekin Cup final and Championship Playoff final? Landsdown Road and Croke Park are usually in the same condition after a large sporting event.

But this sort of thing only happens in Limerick right? :rolleyes:

Inge Binge

bazz26 wrote:

Have you ever been to Cardiff which was similar after the FA Cup final, Heinekin Cup final and Championship Playoff final? Landsdown Road and Croke Park are usually in the same condition after a large sporting event.

But this sort of thing only happens in Limerick right? :rolleyes:

billy the squid wrote:

You would get that at any event where thousands of people gather like that. be it a concert or a rock festival. There were upwards of 15,000 people in two city blocks of o connell street on Saturday.

This "event" happens EVERY saturday night! Ever been in town on a sunday morning? Where did I said "It happens only in Limerick" - quote me!!

I frankly don't give a dam how streets in Cardiff, Dublin or St. Somewhere look like. It's about that people complain about what other people say about their city but don't give themselve a fart how they treat the town.

IB

Amazotheamazing

I don't think after big events is a problem, that happens everywhere and is really impossible to prevent, it's the every day dirt and grime of the city that's so offensive. O'Connell street looks like it hasn't been painted since the 1950's, and William street is one unkempt building after another, shop owners don't seem to take too much pride in the appearance of their shops.

Another problem is the lack of bins in this city, is there even one bin on the "Spokane Walk", ie the waterfront outside Clohessy's etc? It's a lovely little walk but completely user unfriendly.

Arathorn

I think everyone agrees that Limerick has its problems, but I also think most people think a so called professional journalist referring to the city as Stab City in a national paper is below the belt. The article was a load of rubbish anyway not just number 42.

Karmafaerie

Inge Binge wrote:

This "event" happens EVERY saturday night! Ever been in town on a sunday morning? Where did I said "It happens only in Limerick" - quote me!!

I frankly don't give a dam how streets in Cardiff, Dublin or St. Somewhere look like. It's about that people complain about what other people say about their city but don't give themselve a fart how they treat the town.

IB

You've inadvertently hit the spot the IB.
None of us give a damn how the streets of Cardiff, Dublin, or anywhere else look, but the Dublin media seem to care about ours!
Why is that?!
There's an expression that goes "look after your own and the rest will take care of themselves."
Dublin however tend to prefer the philosophy of "pretend everywhere else is worse and people won't realise how bad we are!"

Inge Binge

Ah, com on! You can't blame Dublin for evrryhting! First it's their fault for the bad picture of town because they only report about the crime and now it's their fault because they report only about the litter in the streets...

That's a bit to easy

IB

cornbb

Dublin is great in many respects but they are quite ignorant concerning Limerick. They use the term Stab City in the blink of an eye, from my own experience. Dublin has a far broader range of arts, nightlife, employment opportunites, etc, and also a far bigger crime problem, scum element, etc. But in fairness, the facades, upkeep and architecture of the prominent public spaces are in far better shape than Limerick's

sioda

NE one got a link to the list would love to know what was up near the top

cornbb

I had a look at the Tribune website but subscription is required so I didn't bother going any further

Arathorn

Dont think they were put in ranking, just a random 50 thrown together, heres the top ten anyway

1. Ferry Terminals
2. Bus Aras
3. Coleraine
4. (lack of good) Coffee
5. Mansions
6. Stone Eagles (on peoples pillars etc)
7. Fresh fish (why so expensive)
8. Comhaltas Ceoltoiri
9. Heritage Centres
10. Lasagne (because this isnt Italy we shouldnt serve it)

Longford also got a mention on number 16

16. Longford - "Most Irish Counties seem to have a point, but i've yet to find one for longford"

So he thinks theres some point to Limerick anyway...

What a load of sh*t!!!

Arathorn

Actually just noticed there it seems to be an extract from the new A rough guide to Ireland thats out in July, I was wondering what Billy was on about. Thats even worse though thats a popular guide with tourists, thought those books were meant to show a place in a positive light.

peckerhead

Wasn't it the Rough Guide that a few years back had as their opening sentence in the Limerick section that 'Limerick is a city best viewed ...through a rear view mirror'..? :rolleyes:

I'm originally from Dublin, but living in Limerick for the last 13 years (longest I've ever lived in one place in my life!) and while I can see plenty 'wrong' with Limerick, I'd have to grant you that Dubliners generally — at least the ones who aren't originally from outside Dublin to begin with — have a terribly condescending attitude to everywhere else in the country. Usually based in pure ignorance.

In fact, in my experience, the only people who are worse in this respect are Cork people...:D

Crea

cornbb wrote:

Limerick has problems, like any other city. Don't you think the first step to solving these problems is admitting that they exist?

Yes - and the next step is to get off your ass and do something about it, not just slagging off the city on a discussion board.
How many of you slagging off Limerick have actually spoken to your local polititian about the lack of bins, or the lack of maintenance of the buildings in the city centre. If enough people speak up then something will be done about it.

"It's about that people complain about what other people say about their city but don't give themselve a fart how they treat the town."
I do give a "fart" about how I treat the town and have talked to my local councillor about it but I seem to be one of a few.

I heard the author of the book on The Last Word today and also on the list was every place beginning with Bun. This is not a list to be taken seriously. Also, this journo is not from Dublin, he's from England.

IB - the litter in Limerick was not mentioned by a journalist. That was your particular contribution.

semidefinite

It's unfortunate that this thread has descended into a slagging match, particularly considering that the original article is so undeserving of the attention. The author did not merely single out Limerick, but made other inane remarks about a variety of places including Longford and Tipperary. Like so much of the content in The Sunday Tribune these days, it was simply a cynical self-promotional exercise, designed to publicise his book. Perhaps he believed he was making witty and insightful observations about Ireland for the benefit of tourists, but it just seemed like he was relying on hackneyed stereotypes and uninformed predjudices.

I think most of us would agree that the article (and book) is hardly worthy of any serious consideration. For those who are still interested, the article is here (may require a subscription, try bugmenot). However, I believe that the less attention this ignorant hack receives, the better.

krudler

its the people who just dont give a **** about their own city that make limerick so untidy,i work in a shop on cruises st and every day i see people,not just knackers either,throwing crap on the streets,ya there arent enough bins in the city but nobody uses the ones that are here anyway,this town has a serious attitude of "nobody else gives a **** why should i,this place is a ****hole anyway"

Amazotheamazing

Agree with both above posts, but how do you change the writers perception and the attitude of Limerick people towards litter?

semidefinite

Amazotheamazing wrote:

Agree with both above posts, but how do you change the writers perception and the attitude of Limerick people towards litter?

I'm not very familar with the litter problem in Limerick, if there is one. However, as someone mentioned previously, the author doesn't explicitly mention litter, merely describing it as "grim" and "grimy", which suggests that he may be referring to the Angel's Ashes portrayal of the city.

42. Limerick. 'Stab city' has all the attractions of a funeral parlour and certainly less of the life. If there's a grimmer or grimier place in Ireland, then please don't let me know its identity

I don't think he's really aiming to provide constructive criticism, but merely to regurgitate weak generalisations. This is particularly ironic, given the previous item on his list of dislikes:

41. Misinformation

I'm not from Limerick myself, but just found the article distasteful and hardly worthy of a front-page placement. Increasingly, the only redeeming feature about the Tribune is its sports coverage.

Amazotheamazing

True I didn't find it funny myself, and sure I like to slag off Longford, Tipperary, Coffee etc like everyone else (after all, they are hilarious topics) but I wouldn't expect to get a 2 page forum in a national paper to do it.

What really bothers me isn't that he's saying it, it's that he's publishing a book with these opinions in it, especially when said book is a popular tourist guide.

monkeyfudge

I'm from Dublin... and I'd much rather spend a weekend in Limerick than in Cork or Galway.

I've always found Limerick to be a plesent place to visit... the other two on the other hand.. well....

gaf1983

I tried to publish this earlier, in the meantime semidefinite and crea posted, and I have to say I agree with their sentiments.

Anyway, as has been pointed out, that article was written by one of the authors of the Rough Guide to Ireland - Geoff Wallis - he is from the UK, so it wasn't another case of Dublin-bashing Limerick, unless you think it is just because the Tribune is published in Dublin. He also started off his "article" if you could call it that, by saying before we, the readers, have him hung, drawn and quartered, he mentioned that he wasn't denying that the UK has many many more problems than Ireland. So basically his article was a 50 things to hate about Ireland, written from an outsider's perspective, an outsider who just happens to write fairly influential tourist guides.

He is entitled to his opinion, and I'd have agreed with some of the shortcomings he mentions, but others are simply a matter of opinion, simple as that. What annoyed me about the article was that for some of the things he gave useful suggestions about why some aspect of Ireland is wrong and what could be done to improve things, but for others, all he offered was negativity and condescension, with no examples to back up his opinions.

For example, the only other town he mentioned on the list was Coleraine. (he also mentioned towns beginning with "bun", such as Buncrana, Bundoran, Bunratty etc, but Coleraine along with Limerick were the only two towns he singled out for particular treatment). In the case of Coleraine, he outlines a few valid reasons why it wasn't to his liking: everything shuts down after 6, the university hasn't added vibrancy to the town, and its streets are full of religious bookshops. Fair enough, these are reasons why someone might not like a place, and if the authorities in Coleraine wanted to improve their town's image in the eyes of people like Geoff Wallis, they can act on his suggestions.

His anti-Coleraine entry contrasted with his anti-Limerick one, in which he gave no specific examples of why Limerick was so like a funeral parlour. Maybe he was only in Gerald Griffin Street, I dunno. My point is he didn't back up his negative opinion with any concrete examples of why it is such a bad place, so it is hard then for people to act to alleviate the problems pointed out, because he didn't point out any. Incidentally, many of the other entries in the list, such as lack of good coffee and lasagne came across, in my eyes anyway, as being just a tad snobby and pretentious - why the hell should a pub in rural Ireland have to import 70 different types of coffee just to cater for the odd pernickity tourist like Mr Wallis?

And Inge Binge, I don't think anyone here thinks that it is a good thing that O'Connell Street looks like a pigsty the morning after loads of people have been out on the town. That doesn't take away from the fact that there was a great atmosphere on Saturday and Sunday. Come to think of it, when I was in Munich a few years back for the Oktoberfest, there were people, German people mind you, smashing glasses off the pavement and pissing against bus stops in broad daylight so basically you'll get louts everywhere, especially when there are stupid amounts of alcohol being drunk.

Karmafaerie

Inge Binge wrote:

Ah, com on! You can't blame Dublin for evrryhting! First it's their fault for the bad picture of town because they only report about the crime and now it's their fault because they report only about the litter in the streets...

That's a bit to easy

IB

It's not the reporting of grime in Limerick that I'm drawing reference to.
The use of "Stab City" for an article referring to the griminess of Limerick exposes the national medias attempts to constantly force this contrived image of Limerick at the public.
The facades of a lot of Limerick businesses, are fairly grimy, but that would be down to the simple fact that we get a lot more rain here.
It's not that the owners of these establishments care less, it's just that they'd have to be redoing the fronts of their shops twice a year to make a difference!
If you want to blame anyone, blame the Kerry mountains!:p
Another reason that Limerick can seem oppressive is the lack of open areas.
Dublin and Cork are full of open areas in the city centre. Galway is the same as Limerick in this regard. Hopefully with the developments in both cities this will soon change.
Anyway, compare the damage that this small minded article will have to the positive image of Paul Oconnell Street awash in red.
Limerick will seem a more appealing place after the wonder of the last weekend!

Karmafaerie

gaf1983 wrote:

Maybe he was only in Gerald Griffin Street, I dunno

billy the squid

50 THINGS TO HATE ABOUT IRELAND


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I FIRST arrived in Ireland in 1982 with the foolhardy notion of cycling from Rosslare to west Kerry and back on an old Raleigh bike with just three gears . . . slow, slower, and pedal like fury to get away from that dog . . . and managed to achieve the feat, though each time I drive up that vertiginous hill outside Ballinskelligs I grimace at the memory of a two-hour trudge, pushing said bike up the incline.

Over the succeeding decades I paid many a visit to Ireland (both north and south) and came to love and loathe the country in many ways, though the former emotion still far outweighs its antithesis. Since 1997 I've been co-authoring The Rough Guide to Ireland and, through researching its last four editions, stayed in more hostels, B&Bs and hotels than I care to remember, visited many others in the process and enjoyed (or not) the fodder provided by hundreds of restaurants and cafes. If there's a historic site, museum or other attraction, then I've probably explored its delights. I've travelled on many a bus, train or ferry and, all told, have probably seen more of Ireland than most of its own population.

There now follows a list of my 50 greatest hates, though, before anyone starts hurling hatchets, next week's edition will describe my half-century of adorations.

And, yep, I'm an outsider, but one whose loathing list regarding the current state of the UK would exhaust the Sunday Tribune's supply of newsprint.

1. Ferry terminals The land of a hundred thousand welcomes has clearly stinted on the greetings when it comes to its ferry ports. Larne remains the grimmest and a chastening reminder of the town's love for all things Catholic, but Dublin Ferryport comes a close second with virtually non-existent facilities and an unnumbered Dublin Bus which charges over the odds to lumber its passengers alongside the Liffey to Busaras (trying to ascertain its timetable is akin to cracking the origins of the Turin shroud). Then there's the glossily named Rosslare Europort, a place renowned from the days when arriving passengers could watch their so-called train 'connection' departing from the station just as their boat was docking.

Nothing's improved and even the tourist office has been replaced by that new age devil, an interactive touch-screen. At least Dun Laoghaire feels clean and modern, but lacks even the obvious signposting to the DART station across the way.

2. Busaras It would be insulting to say that this dismal, grimy bus station resembles an airport terminal in one of the least developed of the developing nations, but only to said underdeveloped nations.

Nowadays the place seems just like a pickpocket's training centre and whatever happened to the theatre?

3. Coleraine Northern Ireland's bleakest town provides a telling reminder that the presence of an adjacent university provides no guarantee of a lively nightlife. Indeed, Coleraine's streets are largely deserted after 6pm in the evening, after its numerous religious bookshops have closed, and visitors are hard-pressed to find anywhere decent to eat and, far worse, anywhere decent to drink.

4. Coffee Metropolitan Ireland has certainly caught the coffee bug, but it's bypassed the myriad small-town cafes and B&Bs that insist on serving a cup or pot of dissolved brown granules or powder masquerading as coffee (and many of these are equally capable of murdering tea). The cappuccino revolution still has a long way to go.

5. Mansions The bungalow-building blight was bad enough, especially along the west coast (check out the run from Derrybeg to Glassagh in Donegal as an example), but it has been completely surpassed by these multi-bedroom monstrosities. Why does a family of four need six bedrooms and three en-suite bathrooms (one next to the front door)? Even worse, some of these atrocities attempt to mimic national schools built in the 1920s and 1930s. We need to track down their architects now and force them to inhabit these premises.

6. Stone eagles Said mansion-builders are also equally prone to planting a pair of matching white eagles (though many look like depraved seagulls) on the pair of equally matching gateposts which provide access to their mansions. However, even these eyesores are surpassed by the luminous, lime-green and, at night, illuminated miniature version of the Statue of Liberty that overlooks the N56 between Naas and the Gweebarra Bridge.

7. Fresh fish Forgive me, but Ireland is an island, and, unless I've lost track of current developments, fish continue to inhabit the sea. So, when I'm in Kilmore Quay, why am I expected to pay 40 for a piece of turbot caught only hours previously and sold to the restaurant at one of whose tables I'm sitting by a local fisherman for a mere 4? What happened to the other 36? Someone's taking the piscine.

8. Comhaltas Ceoltoiri Eireann Yes, I know, it's the saviour of the tradition and all that, but try a night in its Monkstown HQ or one of its Teach Cheoil evenings (which run from June to August in various locations) and you'll soon realize that CCE's vision would have Darby O'Gill heading for the hills as fast as his tiny feet could take him. It's not just the twee aspect of it all, but CCE's determination to represent women as mere vessels for costumes embroidered with nonsensical symbols and buttresses for extravagantly tressed hairstyles really gets my goat. And then there's its Bru Boru centre in Cashel which recounts far less about Ireland's traditions than you'd previously imagined was possible. The fleadh competitions form the worst diversion of talent in modern history.

9. Heritage Centres Ireland is rife with these and many owe their existence to European funding.

Unfortunately, the vast majority charge 5 or more to tell you less than a little about not a lot.

10. Lasagne Ireland is not renowned for its Italian cuisine, so why do so many cafes, pubs and restaurants sell this stuff?

Presumably, it's freshly cooked on the premises. I think not.

11. The price of basics Bread, eggs, cheese and butter all cost a bomb . . . now remind me about the EU subsidies.

12. Tipperary Tipperary farmers in flat caps who have no hesitation in boxing in your parked car while they just pop into the butcher's for five minutes which extends into 30 as they discuss the appallingly low levels of subsidies for egg, cheese, butter, etc.

13. Anne Doyle The perma-tanned, tinsel-haired captain oozes gravitas from the helm of RTE One's flagship news broadcasts, albeit with an aslant downwards look towards her viewers as if the latter really do not understand that a story such as 'World Ends at Midnight . . .

Laois Publicans Request Extension Until 1am' is of equal merit to 'Offaly Man Stung by Wasp Demands New InsectRelated Tribunal'.

14. Tribunals Why has the bould Bertie never established a tribunal to investigate the workings of tribunals since none ever seem to achieve anything?

15. Chips It is an extraordinary indictment of Ireland that the land whose whole existence was once dependent upon the potato now does not possess a solitary manufacturer of processed chips. Sure, you can still get four differently cooked versions of the tuber on your lunch plate in Castlebar, but the origins of your late night bag of chips spread far and wide across the globe.

16. Abrakebabra Was there ever a worse name for a takeaway chain? Yes, there was and it was called Spud U Like. Yet it's Abrakebabra's hint of Ali Baba and the mystic East which gets my goat. The only 'open sesame' describes the bun surrounding your recently purchased burger. Every Irish town now seems to have a branch and they seem to serve no purpose, especially culinary.

17. Passing lanes Now whose idea was that? So, I'm driving along at the speed limit of 100 Kph and some tailgating idiot, usually in a blue transit van, is flashing his (it's rarely her) headlights demanding that I pull over into the yellow pock-marked jungle to allow his vehicle to overtake, thereby risking the demolition of various fruit, vegetable and flower sellers and several Traveller caravans in the process.

18. County Longford Most Irish counties seem to have a point, but I've yet to find one for Longford.

19. Price cartels Forget 150 a night in Kilkenny during The Cat Laughs festival. Why do so many B&Bs in that well known international tourist resort Belmullet quote the same price, regardless of quality or location?

20. Car-chasing dogs I've never discovered the reason for this phenomenon, but canines in Clare, Donegal and Kerry seem to be the most clueless. It must be all that fresh air.

21. Opening times and hours What's so important about Mondays that the Irish Museum of Modern Art has to close on that day? Then there's Glebe House (which closes on Fridays during the few months of the year it's actually open) and Westport House whose opening schedule would test the code-cracking powers of Enigmabreaker Alan Turing. And don't even get me started on the National Trust in Northern Ireland!

22. Mobile phone networks Those claiming comprehensive coverage across the whole of Ireland . . . a statement whose actuality does not seem to include Westmeath or any offshore island.

23. Exotic vegetables (or, rather, the lack of them) Why do green, red and yellow peppers cost 99 cent throughout the whole of Ireland (apart from that Indian shop off Adelaide Road in Dublin) when you can buy them for a third of the price throughout the UK? And why does no shop outside the cities ever sell garlic?

billy the squid

24. Loose chippings Ireland's greatest conspiracy and the combined work of not just the companies which repair road surfaces, but manufacturers of replacement windscreens and 'touchup' paint aerosols . . . not forgetting all the puncture repair firms.

25. Any place beginning with 'Bun' Bunratty, Bundoran, Buncrana, Bunclody, Bunmahon . . . they're all amazingly naff. I'll make the exception of Bunbeg, but I'm still waiting to meet Bunny Connellan.

26. The death of the apostrophe It's not just the pubs (Wards, Whelans, McCarthys, etc. ), but the apostrophe's apparent disappearance from all facets of Irish life which involve public signs, advertisements, supermarkets, market vegetable stalls, etc.

27. Bouncers Do city centre pubs in Belfast and Dublin really require suited, shavenheaded, bulldog-browed, more testosterone than a rugby club's primates checking entry at 3pm on a Friday afternoon? And, if so, why?

28. Begrudgers It's a little known fact that Ireland has the highest proportion of begrudgers per capita in the western world. Those who claim to 'have known ye before ye were famous' are bad enough, but achieve even the most minor success in Irish life and the begrudgers will be down on you like a tonne of the old griddle cakes which Bewley's used to sell. And don't get me going on the closure of Bewley's. . .

29. Deregulation of price of a pint Time was when every Irish pub displayed that wonderful old mimeographed sign from the Licensed Vintners' Association detailing the exact cost of your pint, glass or bottle.

The price range varied little across the 26 counties, though one always knew that certain places tended to be more expensive (Dublin, Galway, Wexford) or cheaper (Cavan, Leitrim and Donegal) than the norm. Then some eejit decided to abolish the whole thing allowing publicans to charge as much as they could get away with.

30. B&B decorations Where do the owners acquire these appallingly kitsch artefacts and why do they insist on planting them in the most visible spaces in their establishment's hall or breakfast room? Trenchikoff paintings, daubed religious icons, crass souvenirs from their honeymoon in Ballybunion . . . there's only one phrase for the phenomenon: 'welcome to schlockamaura'.

31. Signposting Try driving around the lanes of counties Meath, Clare or Kildare reliant solely upon the few available signposts and their installers' wicked sense of humour. And then there's the (often erroneously described) 'scenic routes', featuring either a lack of signposting or contradictory pointers. Ever tried the Cashel-Kilkenny? It's a gem.

32. St Patrick What's all the fuss about? He wasn't Irish and was certainly not the first Christian missionary to arrive in the country (probably St Declan), nor did he drive out any (non-existent) snakes, and you don't even know where he's buried! Whatever the case, there's nothing we know about St Patrick which suggests that he would have enjoyed funfairs or a ceili mor staged in his name.

33. WB Yeats Possibly the most trite and annoying poet Ireland has produced, yet you can't visit Co Sligo without tripping over some aspect of his memory and, amongst all the laudations, everyone seems to have forgotten his toying with somewhat fascistic forms of mysticism and the fact that none of his dreadful plays are ever revived. He must have been one of the few poets continuing to produce juvenilia throughout his entire writing life.

34. Unhelpful Tourist Offices In particular, those employing staff who are either completely ignorant of their locality or far too protective. Q. "Can you recommend somewhere good for lunch in Dungarvan?" A. "I'm afraid that I cannot recommend one local provider over another."

35. Mean-minded B&B landladies Apart from the one who wanted to charge me extra for using the en-suite shower more than once or another who had removed seemingly every essential light bulb (on the grounds of 'economy'), the worst was one in Wexford who stated, "I don't see any reason to change the sheets when the previous guest only stayed one night!"

36. Iarnrod Eireann's timetable Designed by idiots who couldn't give a monkey's when and whither people want to travel. And the company's ticketing system just beggars belief.

37. Dublin epithets Who started all that rhyming business in relation to local landmarks ('the tart with the cart', 'the hags with the bags', etc. ) and why are most of them patently sexist (apart from 'the stiletto in the ghetto')? Let's track him down and force him to face 'the slug in the mug'.

38. Grafton Street's buskers I saw an eight-foot leprechaun the other day, but couldn't find my Uzi.

39. The full Irish or Ulster fry It should be impossible to mess up an Irish breakfast but a cohort of landlords, landladies and hotel chefs continue to do so, especially in the west of Ireland. Cold plates or food swimming in grease are a regular feature and, five years on, I've still not managed to delete from my memory the smell of rancid lard, as used as a frying agent by a Leitrim landlady.

40. The Fields of Athenry If I ever hear this song again, I'm going to hire a JCB and head directly for those pastures.

41. Misinformation In particular pubs which advertise traditional music when, in reality, the landlord has booked a local singer only capable of murdering assorted ballads to the accompaniment of a beatbox.

Then there are those that advertise 'food served all day', only the day was last Tuesday and it was only between noon and 2pm.

42. Limerick 'Stab city' has all the attractions of a funeral parlour and certainly less of the life. If there's a grimmer or grimier place in Ireland, then please don't let me know its identity.

43. The Guinness Storehouse I don't think Arthur would be amused when paying 14.50 to look at some old barrels though there's an admittedly great view of Dublin from the seventh floor and, curious notion, a 'complimentary' pint when the entry price clearly includes said beverage.

44. The Late Late Show The programme which has stifled RTE One's Friday night scheduling for far too long was on its last legs well before Gay Byrne accepted his retirement chit. His replacement, Pat Kenny, struggles gamely on, like a minor county hurling side, refusing to admit defeat though the score's 6-14 to nil and there's only a minute to play.

45. Mary Harney and the PDs After much consideration I'm still puzzled regarding this party's policies.

What do the PDs stand for and why does the electorate stand for them?

Helicopter-riding Harney's continuing role as Tanaiste must represent the best piece of bargaining in political history.

46. Celtic mythmaking Not a comment on the wonderful myths themselves, but their exploitation by heritage centres, publishers and record labels all keen to abuse their memory via, respectively, ludicrous multi-media displays, books which claim some form of 'twilight' vision, and all those awful CDs (much loved by those who select the music for hotels' lobbies and lifts) and usually bearing a title such as '50 Haunting Celtic Melodies'.

47. Doolin Forget Killarney, Doolin is the real exploitation centre on Ireland's west coast. Lured by its reputation for traditional music, countless tourists head there, only to discover one of the country's least attractive villages, overpriced B&Bs and restaurants, pubs packed beyond capacity and music being played by people who are not from Doolin, or even Clare, or even Ireland.

48. Ian Paisley Junior The latest and greatest believer in conspiracy theories (of whatever manner related to the possible weakening of the North's ties with the UK) probably lies awake at night wondering whether Gerry Adams's dog is busily undermining the Union by not decommissioning its assortment of bones acquired from Falls Road butchers shops.

49. The weather Let's face it, it's crap.

50. The last one The price of everything and the value of nothing.

The 8th edition of 'The Rough Guide to Ireland' by Paul Gray and Geoff Wallis will be published in July 2006, priced £13.99

sioda

Thanks Billy

Sunn

i dont even know why you are posting this up.. like in fairness.. 10 things i haet about ireland and he puts lasange in there?

I think there are for more important things that need to be discussed in irish society and the world rather than "lasange" or if this person is incapable of making "good" cofee

bottlerocket

But Limerick is grimy in places and during the summer it can be pretty dead at times when everyone heads off to Clare or wherever over the weekend. That said, I think the pubs are the best around when they're busy. Also parts of the city centre need a facelift but this should happen over the next few years as it looks like there is more and more money coming into the city.

I lived in Limerick for 4 years and still visit regularly. Since I left just over a year ago I've noticed improvements in the city centre and hopefully this will continue. The litter problem isn't as bad as it used to be but could still be a lot better, regardless of what Cork or Dublin look like. I'm living in Dublin now and in my experience most Dubs are well aware their city has a greater crime problem than Limerick. And if they don't, I tell em! Very rarely saw trouble in the city centre in my time there.

Limerick people are the best in the country - warm, proud, friendly, outgoing and great craic. The only thing that ever annoys me is this thing about the Dublin media having it in for the city. Nonsense in my view. If a crime is committed, the media will report it regardless of where it happens and I think the reporting of the crime problem was fair. Thankfully the worst of it seems over now and I hope the events of last weekend will show the city and its people in their true light.

(And speaking as a Leinsterman, congratulations on a magnificent win last weekend and a great season. Anything that stuffs that D4 horsey set is fine by me!)

dave101

billy the squid

1 This thread is five months old
2 that joke is even older

Please don't dig up old threads.

locked.