The BJJ Trust

crokester · 17-05-2006 8:37pm #1

I want to tell you a little about my plight to rid myself from the side effects of BJJ. BJJ syndrome is slowly becoming more and more prevelent in todays society and I wish to shed some light on the conditions typical of some of its most severe suferers.

For one year now I have been unable to maintain a stable relationship. Unfortunatly the dilemas of love making without carnal BJJ instinct taking over have all to often become to much for my partners. While in the act of sex from the position commonly known as "doggy style" I am consistently overwealmed by the urge to put my hooks in and take the back for a quick tap out, I can no longer recieve oral sex without instinctively triangeling my legs, and now missionary sex is hampered by my persistent attempts to pass gaurd. Some may laugh but BJJ syndrome is slowly destroying my life.

Unfortunatly my troubles do not end there, BJJ syndrome has eaten away at my family relationships. It was only last week that my dear eighty year old grandmother went to give me a hug when i dived in taking the double underhooks and, executing the take down, landed in a side control position proceeding to dish out a sound ground n pounding.

Socially I am ruined. I walk the street with my back to the wall in fear of showing it to a fellow BJJ syndrome sufferer. Of course i leap wildly onto any back i see exposed. I now must use a cane to walk because i am unable to look ahead of me; to look up would be to leave my neck unprotected and so my chin must always snugle firmly into my chest.

Now that I have shared my story with others I wish for you all to share your story with me. Has martial arts left you isolated and compulsive? Do you find yourself inventing katas to put on your clothes? Or a kata to brush your teeth? Do you refer to your manager as sensei, your employer as master, and demand of those with less time in your place of work bow before you? Maybe you cannot shake hands without breaking your companies wrist. Whatever it is, crokester would like to hear it!