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How to Shower!

  • 31-03-2006 8:48am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 485 ✭✭


    How To Shower Like a Woman**
    Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry
    basket according to lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

    if you see husband along the way, cover up any
    exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
    mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower.

    Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
    wide loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
    with 43 added vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs.

    Turn off shower.

    Dry off all wet surfaces in shower.

    Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

    Get out of shower.

    Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


    **How To Shower Like a Man*

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
    them in a pile.

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

    Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

    Get in the shower.

    Wash your face.

    Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair.

    Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

    Wee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off.

    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

    Admire willy size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.

    (YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE!!!)


Comments

  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Motoring & Transport Moderators Posts: 7,396 Mod ✭✭✭✭**Timbuk2**


    lol!! :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭KTRIC


    have you been spying on me again ??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    I've seen it a few times but it keeps getting better


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,780 ✭✭✭JohnK


    I cant deny it :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,960 ✭✭✭✭Mimikyu


    This post has been deleted.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 936 ✭✭✭N90user


    haha :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,154 ✭✭✭Flex


    haha, classic :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,561 ✭✭✭Rhyme


    Heh heh... very nice. Its popped up a few times but it still gets a chuckle.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 180 ✭✭xXxnaoisexXx


    hahaha its soo true...the man one was kinda sick though


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,345 ✭✭✭Somnus


    The men's one is so true :D

    Absolutely brilliant :D


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 46 Sch!Sm


    all true especially the shampoo mohawk. i do it every time! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭funk-you


    its funny cause its true

    -Funk


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