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Pet Diaries

  • 07-03-2006 1:13pm
    #1
    Chopperdog
    Closed Accounts Posts: 397 ✭✭


    PET DIARIES...


    As seen in a dog's diary: -

    7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
    8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
    Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
    2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
    3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
    4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
    6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
    7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
    8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
    11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

    As seen in a cat's diary: -

    Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

    Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.
    In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.

    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan...

    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event.
    However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
    The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.


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