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Light Relief - 4 adult jokes

  • 07-03-2006 10:13am
    #1
    shannonxx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32 ✭


    Number 4

    A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes
    into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and
    says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll
    forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm
    in room 221."

    Number 3


    One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his
    wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a
    gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The
    husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over
    and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow
    too?"

    Number 2

    Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number
    of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a
    terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle
    slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk
    about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to
    overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill
    came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously
    wrong.

    "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
    "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put
    my penis into the pickle slicer?"
    "Oh, Bill, you didn't!" she exclaimed.
    "Yes, I did." he replied.
    "My God, Bill, what happened?"
    "I got fired."
    "No Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
    "Oh... she got fired too."

    Number 1

    A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the
    breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years
    ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

    "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a
    jaybird fifty years ago."
    "Well, " Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."
    Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
    "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples
    are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
    "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
    "One's in your coffee."


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