sheep

shannonxx

A man in Wales buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.

After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting
pregnant, and phones a vet for help.

The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting
to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the
sheep
are pregnant.

The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will
lie
down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that
artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.

So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the
woods,
has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep.

Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the
first
try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again.

He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good
measure,
brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
"Try
again" he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up again, does his
thing, drive home, and falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look
out
of
the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are
lying
in the grass.

No," she says, "they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is
beeping
the horn."

biko

Not new but I really love that joke

shannonxx

biko wrote:

Not new but....

ok....i admit defeat

GLaDOS

lol never seen it, funny

TerrorFirmer

Hahahahaha, very funny, excellent

Capt'n Midnight

shannonxx wrote:

A man in Wales buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.

After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting
pregnant, and phones a vet for help.

The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the
sheep are pregnant.

The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will
lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.

So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the
woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep.

Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the
first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again.

He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good
measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
"Try again" he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up again, does his
thing, drive home, and falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look
out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are
lying in the grass.

No," she says, "they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is
beeping the horn."

Please format those emails - much easier to read that way

Capt'n Midnight

shannonxx wrote:

A man in Wales buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.

After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting
pregnant, and phones a vet for help.

The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the
sheep are pregnant.

The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will
lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.

So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the
woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep.

Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the
first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again.

He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good
measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
"Try again" he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up again, does his
thing, drive home, and falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look
out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are
lying in the grass.

No," she says, "they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is
beeping the horn."

Please format those emails - much easier to read that way

dinjo

what a brilliant joke.....Great post!

Pauly26

meh

AngryBadger

lol