Dunno What To Do... Please Give Advice...

LegacyUser

Hi all - going unreg with this one,,

With the missus a year, do love her, however we had a row and decided to just meet each other and not meet anyone else. We had a row on Thursday but made up on Friday. She turned around on Friday suddenly and said "Oh by the way I booked a holiday with my 10 mates and I'm off Sunday (she's mid flight as I speak). We had harsh words about it as she's gone away with "her mate" who has a thing fo her but I've been lead to presume more. I text her up till 2 hour before her flight and didn't even get a message saying goodbye or anything. We went so far to say its over forever but it was left kinda up in the air. She said shes not texting or ringing me when shes away but won't meet anyone. Thing is - she gets drunk very easily and the group she's gone away with will kinda make sure she will get plastered. I've pretty much convinced myself that she'll meet other people when away cause of the drink and he way she gets.

She's home Sunday but I'm not going to text her and wait to see if she contacts me.

Any advice or opinions...

py2006

It kinda sounds like your broke it off with you so she could have a little fun on this holiday without feeling guilty about it!

It is strange that your seeing a girl for a year and she does't tell you of her plans to go away with her mates until the last minute!

Also, for her to say she wont be contacting you while away is quite strange too!

I suggest you dont contact her while she is away! This might be hard for you but it will give her something to think about! Also, I wouldn't pick her up when she gets back or give her the impression you have been sitting at home the entire time counting the seconds until she returns!

Be busy the day she gets back! and definitely don't contact her first! Your probably better off without this girl anyway!

little miss

It is strange all right, but don't assume the worse... Maybe she just wanted to make you jealous, and make sure you appreciate her more when she comes back? If you want to try and make a go of things, I'd text her and say you've missed her, and didn't like the way things were before she left. Suggest to meet up and discuss things? If you don't hear anything back then, well she doesn't deserve you. Going away and not replying to your messages is pretty childish and mean when you've been together for so long.

How serious was the fight, and who was at fault? And how long ago did she book the holiday?

LegacyUser

little miss wrote:

How serious was the fight, and who was at fault? And how long ago did she book the holiday?

Serious enough...

Last minute job - done it the day we weren't talking. I did lose the head abit but in fairness wouldn't everyone?

Nevyn

Look let her have her holiday, in the mean time spend some time on youself and do a bit of thinking about your relationship.
Where things could be better what you can do about it changes that would make life better for the both of you.
It could be you were noth taking each other for granted.
HAve the house clean and what ever diy stuff you can done before she come home and tell her how much you missed her.

0utshined

That my friend is a Shít test.

Do not contact her. Be busy when she gets back. Go out, have fun and have no qualms about "meeting anyone".

Maybe she won't do anything when she's abroad but from the way you've said it I very much doubt it. I would not consider you to be in a relationship at the moment and I don't think you should either.

Laguna

Pffft, IMO I wouldn't bother with her man, by the sounds of her actions telling you at the last minute about a secret holiday with a group of friends including one special friend who wants to get on top of her, well, call me cynical, but this sounds like she's had this ace up her sleeve for a while and this fight of yours sounds perfectly engineered by her to happen so she could be 'single' for her holiday.. Why do you feel you have to do the running after her anyway?, it takes two to tango, what's to stop her feeling the need to make it up to you when she gets back?..

secret_squirrel

To be honest you both sound very young and immature. People very rarely just decide to jump on a plane, you must have known she was thinking about a break?

It sounds just a much as if you dont trust her. Either you learn to trust her or you might as well break up. If she does cheat , then well you might well deserve it being at least partially responsible for creating a situation where she is filled with resentment in the first place.

However I suspect you are both too immature for a long term relationship to work so maybe its time to call it a day anyhow?

Laguna

secret_squirrel wrote:

f she does cheat , then well you might well deserve it being at least partially responsible for creating a situation where she is filled with resentment in the first place.

I don't think being full of resentment entitles someone to cheat and for their ex to feel responsible for it. Why should the ex feel any responsibility if she decides to have sex with someone else?, did he push her into bed with another man?...

AngryBadger

If it was me I'd be giving her the old heave ho.

But you haven't really given much in the way of details, history, length of time together....

LegacyUser

AngryBadger wrote:

If it was me I'd be giving her the old heave ho.

But you haven't really given much in the way of details, history, length of time together....

Thanx for all replies so far.

History wise: very up and down - alot of lack of trust on both parts but said we'd work on it

Length: Year long (thought I said that sorry)

AngryBadger

Up In The Air wrote:

Thanx for all replies so far.

History wise: very up and down - alot of lack of trust on both parts but said we'd work on it

Length: Year long (thought I said that sorry)

I have to wonder, why would there be a lack of trust in any relationship unless one/both sides either weren't ready for the commitment, or were actually guilty of something? JUst a thought

LegacyUser

AngryBadger wrote:

I have to wonder, why would there be a lack of trust in any relationship unless one/both sides either weren't ready for the commitment, or were actually guilty of something? JUst a thought

Ok, to be honest before I knew her she was known to be a bit of a slapper - but seems to have settled down since she got with me. She swears she never went off on me and I honestly haven't either. She often gets alot of texts from her exs asking to get back with her or "are you meetin this fella?". I do wanna trust her but its so hard. We've both been hurt before.

She is a bit of a stunner so has always attracted attention of lads etc. I'm ready for commitment - so she says aswell...

When I was hurt last last the shock was terrible - my mother took a heart attack and all. I haven't introduced her to my family yet due to it being so turbulant and wanna make sure it's proper long term before introducing her (my mother is still very ill)...

Ruu_Old

It'll do you both to be apart for a while, she needs space and so do you. Think things over and you'll know when she comes back if it'll work or if you want it to work.