How To...?

LegacyUser

Having recently become single, I am having trouble getting back into the 'swing' of things.
Basically, I don't really know how to properly 'chat-up' girls. How to pick up on signs or even worse, to approach a random stranger just because our eyes crossed paths or something.
What's the best way to approach this type of situation?

Santa Claus

christ himself wrote:

Having recently become single, I am having trouble getting back into the 'swing' of things.
Basically, I don't really know how to properly 'chat-up' girls. How to pick up on signs or even worse, to approach a random stranger just because our eyes crossed paths or something.
What's the best way to approach this type of situation?

No secret to chatting up girls, as the term implies it simply involves chatting to them (the up part only applies if you're very short).

Go out with some friends, see how they interact with random strangers and see if there's any lessons you could learn from them.

dazftw

Im going to tell you a funny story on how I met a girl after not meeting one for three years ! I was 16 and there was a couple of random girls walking to back to school after break an I just went up to them (not intending to chat them up or anything) and I said "HI IM FRIENDS WITH STEVES DOG" One day later I was meeting one of them. So my advice be your"funny"self

muppetkiller

DeafVision wrote:

Im going to tell you a funny story on how I met a girl after not meeting one for three years ! I was 16 and there was a couple of random girls walking to back to school after break an I just went up to them (not intending to chat them up or anything) and I said "HI IM FRIENDS WITH STEVES DOG" One day later I was meeting one of them. So my advice be your"funny"self

I'm trying to insult but I'd personally never use a line like that even if ya paid me ...I presume the OP isn't 16 so that line an't going to work..she's probably look at you like you've no head..

One thing i've noticed about us lads is the very funny "I'm on the pull walk"
everyone does it when they're drinking ..you walk around the night-club on your own scanning every corner of the room looking for a woman haha...STOP DOING THIS !!!!

But the simple fact is women see this and think oh oh....stay clear...
I personally think the easiest option is not to look at all...stop trying to find a woman and they magically appear haha...
Honestly i've never gone out on a night out to find a girl and met one..
It's the nights I don't try is when I score hehe..always smile and enjoy yourself ...
I don't think i've given any advice but I haven't a clue either lol

Ridire_Dubh

christ himself wrote:

Having recently become single, I am having trouble getting back into the 'swing' of things.
Basically, I don't really know how to properly 'chat-up' girls. How to pick up on signs or even worse, to approach a random stranger just because our eyes crossed paths or something.
What's the best way to approach this type of situation?

Used to do the pub scene, but later found out that other social scenes were much more productive and real. Join socs, communiity orgs, volunteer orgs, church orgs. and meet them there while you contribute to whatever these groups do. You won't need false lines that are a sham, but rather just be yourself.

daisybaby

DeafVision wrote:

Im going to tell you a funny story on how I met a girl after not meeting one for three years ! I was 16 and there was a couple of random girls walking to back to school after break an I just went up to them (not intending to chat them up or anything) and I said "HI IM FRIENDS WITH STEVES DOG" One day later I was meeting one of them. So my advice be your"funny"self

good god. I wouldnt recommend this. Your more likely show off or sumthin if you do that and not the type of person a girl wants that kind of relationship with.

Kermitt

Exactly, just relax and be yourself. I'm sure you have some realm of personality, let it do its job. It worked for me, i'm currently with a girl i never thought i'd get a look in with. Funny thing was i was chattin to her without even thinking about going out, and it just happened. In my experience, short as it may be at 22, laughter is a big thing. Make a girl giggle and you're 3/4 way there. Then it's down to plucking up the courage to make a move. As was said, pubs/clubs are a terrible place to meet women, much better to join a social club (drama, karate, tennis, anything). DON'T THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT IT.. or you'll bottle it.

Best of luck lad.

Nalz

Oh man, I know what your sayin. My ex broke up with my me last summer - took it really REALLY bad. Took a few months to get over it, and then realized that apart from one or two decent mates I had fúck all of a social life and knew absolutely no women whatsover! But I just went out with the lads from college, lads from school, lads I used to play soccer with etc on different nights, and had a laugh. Met One or two women along the way, no relationship blosomming stuff or anythin but good for the oul confidence. The thing is I never went out lookin for it and it happened now and again, and the nights it didnt happen strangly enough seem to have been the best nights. I had a laugh with the lads and remembering how good it was to be out of an intense and full on lovey dovey relationship. I enjoyed the 3/4 years I had with my ex, but Im happy again now nad just takin things as they come.

So the only advice after all that would be to go out to have a laugh with your mates, enjoy yourself and be yourself! Its like this, if your lookin for a relationship there gonna find out what your like eventually and you do want them to like ya for who you are...so be who ya are!!

goodluck with it boss, and dont let it get ya down cas thats a step backwards if ya do...

el tel

christ himself wrote:

Having recently become single, I am having trouble getting back into the 'swing' of things.
Basically, I don't really know how to properly 'chat-up' girls. How to pick up on signs or even worse, to approach a random stranger just because our eyes crossed paths or something.
What's the best way to approach this type of situation?

Hi christ himself. Can I just call you Jesus?

In my experience, one thing that really seems to get a woman's interest on a night out is a guy who is already in the company of a girl(s). I think it's down an in-built competitiveness thing that girls have going on. If they see a guy who is getting on famously with a chick their interest is aroused as they realise that you must be OK as someone else as already run the rule over you. So what I'm saying is, if you have a group of friends that includes some girls then these are the people to be with.

Failing that, just do what you did you to get your previous girlfriend.

hullaballoo

I've fouund myself in the exact same position as christ himself (NEVER thought I'd be saying that). My answer has been to become celebate. Well, until something better comes along.

dazftw

muppetkiller wrote:

I personally think the easiest option is not to look at all...stop trying to find a woman and they magically appear haha...

I agree ! FULLY LOL

daisybaby wrote:

good god. I wouldnt recommend this. Your more likely show off or sumthin if you do that and not the type of person a girl wants that kind of relationship with.

Im not recommending it im just saying it helps to be funny ! This just seemed to work out in my favour at the time they found me funny !

Laguna

christ himself wrote:

Having recently become single, I am having trouble getting back into the 'swing' of things.
Basically, I don't really know how to properly 'chat-up' girls. How to pick up on signs or even worse, to approach a random stranger just because our eyes crossed paths or something.
What's the best way to approach this type of situation?

I personally don't think anyone can tell you what to do in this situation or how to act/what to say, as in my opinion, if you have to be told then this means you'll go out and do what you've been instructed/primed to do and therefore end up being false (to your true way of behaving) and not faithful to how you would normally act.

I don't have much (well, any tbh) luck with women, but from observing friends who are very successful, I gauge that the more laid back and easy going you are, the more luck you'll have, especially if you're 17-25 - as no girls in that age range (in my opinion) are really attracted to Mr. Serious/Brooding. Anyway, you had a girlfriend before, surely you already know what to do to get a girl..