Caught Stealing by Parents

LegacyUser

Right long story.
Basically I, with the assistance of a friend of mine who works in a retail store robbed a fairly substantial item from said store he works in.
I arrived home and told my parents that the item was end of range and reduced substantially, as my parents know that I have no money given that I am in final year in college and have no job. They believed me and that was that.
Two days later I arrive home from college and my parents had found out. (I had emailed my sister telling her what I did, deleted the sent item but forgot to delete the message from the "deleted items" folder in Outlook)
Background: My Dad actually went to prison when I was younger for fraud but has since seen the error of his ways. Understandably my parents were very upset as they now see me following in my father's footsteps. They asked me to promise it wouldn't happen again but I seriously can't. I didn't intentionally wake up that morning and decide to steal...my friend presented an opportunity which I couldn't say no to.
The upshot of it is, I don't know what to do....has anyone else been in a similar situation, how did you deal with it? My Dad obviously has, and has suggested a plan of action the next time I am tempted but to be honest plan or no plan, I still think I would weigh up the risk factor of each situation and make my own decision.
Your opinions would be much appreciated. My parents are insisting I return the item but this would land my friend in a lot of trouble.
I can't explain why I did it. I come from a middle class background, I always excelled in school, money is no longer an issue as both my parents have good jobs....I really feel like dirt now....but then again I don't know if that's just embarassment because I was caught.

py2006

Wow, well normally the right thing to do would be to bring the stolen goods back! But as you have said it will land both of you in trouble!

If it was a small item, they would probably appreciate you bringing it back and send you off with a warning but you said it was a big item!

I am not sure what to advise you really! Perhaps it would be a good thing to take it back, swallow your pride and take whatever punishment comes your way!

AngryBadger

I don't know why you'd want to piss your life away by getting into this kind of thing. And I don't know why you'd visit it on your family. Honestly I think someone needs to go upside of your head, but in deference to the fact that Thead will kick my ass for saying that....

Why would you suddenly, assuming this is your first time, steal something? You know the risks, you know what you could lose, you're from a comfortable family, and you're about to finish your degree. So why would you start putting it all on the line? And that is what you're doing here, your friend isn't responsible, in fact he's playing you for a fool, making you an accomplice to theft, and then getting you to hold onto stolen goods.

Which brings me to my next point, you're obviously a fool, and your friend has just played you. If the guards were called into this, you'd get donw for it without a doubt, whereas he might well walk away, all ebcause you were stupid enough to go along with this.

Ag marbh

Don't bring it back. You probably stole from a money grabbing company that takes advantage of many things so keep it. I have personally stolen from all big shops i've worked in through my teens and don't mind your parents that's just the normal parent behaviour.

Kinetic^

Ag marbh wrote:

Don't bring it back. You probably stole from a money grabbing company that takes advantage of many things so keep it. I have personally stolen from all big shops i've worked in through my teens and don't mind your parents that's just the normal parent behaviour.

How exactly are helping this guy? Why is it ok to steal from companies?

Listen man, your parents are probably disappointed, it'll take them a week or 2, I think they're more worried that you may de doing on an ongoing basis. If you're not then they've nothing to worry about, the hard thing istrying to prove this to them.

py2006

Ag marbh wrote:

Don't bring it back. You probably stole from a money grabbing company that takes advantage of many things so keep it. I have personally stolen from all big shops i've worked in through my teens and don't mind your parents that's just the normal parent behaviour.

Jaysus! :rolleyes:

dudara

Ag Marbh, that's not a particularly helpful comment. please read the charter or face a banning

R-KEANE

dudara wrote:

Ag Marbh, that's not a particularly helpful comment. please read the charter or face a banning

But its his advice. Didn't seem like it was a disrespectful one as its just him giving his views. Is that not allowed? I personalyl dont agree but just because you dont doesnt make it right or wrong. Am I banned?

LundiMardi

i'm thinking you stole a plasma screen or something similar.. if so, then keep it:D No but seriously, maybe you need some strict discipline.. BOOT CAMP!!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.
To be honest I think my parents are very worried that I will end up in jail or something like that. I don't make a habit of things like this. For example before Christmas I found a purse with a considerable amount of money in it (€150) but I couldn't keep it, I felt too guilty and made sure it was returned to the rightful owner, who gave me a present and a card and I felt great, as did my Mam...she was so proud of me.
But it's just different taking from a store....you don't think about who's actually going to pay for it in the end. As I said, I'm not a shoplifter and wouldn't dream of walking into a shop and putting something in my pocket. My Mam & Dad want me to seek professional advice but to be honest I think I just did what most other young people in my situation would have done.
(The store itself has no cameras or security....the mind boggles!)

LegacyUser

LundiMardi wrote:

i'm thinking you stole a plasma screen or something similar.. if so, then keep it:D No but seriously, maybe you need some strict discipline.. BOOT CAMP!!

I wish! No it wasn't quite that expensive....in the region of €200.

Kinetic^

R-KEANE wrote:

But its his advice. Didn't seem like it was a disrespectful one as its just him giving his views. Is that not allowed? I personalyl dont agree but just because you dont doesnt make it right or wrong. Am I banned?

Hopefully you're banned and at a wild guess you're probably Ag Marbh too :rolleyes:

R-KEANE

Keyser Soze 5 wrote:

Hopefully you're banned and at a wild guess you're probably Ag Marbh too :rolleyes:

Ah nope, as I said I dont agree. Just sticking up for freedom of speech. No need for a personal attack mate.

Gordon

R-KEANE wrote:

But its his advice. Didn't seem like it was a disrespectful one as its just him giving his views. Is that not allowed? I personalyl dont agree but just because you dont doesnt make it right or wrong. Am I banned?

You will be banned if you stay off topic yes.

When people post on PI that incite illegal activites they will most likely be banned.

R-KEANE

Gordon wrote:

You will be banned if you stay off topic yes.

When people post on PI that incite illegal activites they will most likely be banned.

He wasn't inciting illegal activities. He was giving advice that was requested. If what you say is true then the only reply that can be allowed on here is to hand back the stolen property and repent. The originator already knows this is the right thing to do. He was looking for the best way out of his situation. Not necessarily the most law abiding path. Sounds wrong but thats the way it goes.

dudara

R-KEANE wrote:

But its his advice. Didn't seem like it was a disrespectful one as its just him giving his views. Is that not allowed? I personalyl dont agree but just because you dont doesnt make it right or wrong. Am I banned?

It was an idiotic post encouraging illegal behaviour. That's what I had a problem with.

Ag marbh

It wasn't idiotic.


OP and all others make note if you're looking for advice on the right thing to do in these situations just read the charter because the advice can be only one sided. You won't get comforted or anything.

Gordon

R-KEANE wrote:

He wasn't inciting illegal activities. He was giving advice that was requested. If what you say is true then the only reply that can be allowed on here is to hand back the stolen property and repent. The originator already knows this is the right thing to do. He was looking for the best way out of his situation. Not necessarily the most law abiding path. Sounds wrong but thats the way it goes.

If it's not necessarily the most law abiding path then it shouldn't be on PI.

If you wish to discuss this further then either PM me or take it to the feedback forum.

Back on topic.

Binomate

I agree with AgMarbh. If it was a huge organisation the odd are that they wont even know it's missing. I'd say don't bother returning the item unless there is a chance you are going to be caught and just simply put it all behind you and make sure you never do it again. Find out if anyone at this retail place your friend works at is getting in trouble or what the general concensus is, if they've even noticed. If anyone is getting the blame for it then make sure you bring it back. Mods, feel free to delete this post if you feel it's not helpfull/ against the rules etc.

LundiMardi

OP - Seriously, i think you should maybe organise to take a trip to mountjoy for a couple of hours, just to see where you could end up. I'm sure they'd do that for 'kids' such as yourself! Maybe then you'll think twice before stealing?

R-KEANE

dudara wrote:

It was an idiotic post encouraging illegal behaviour. That's what I had a problem with.

Now, I'm not trying to have a go. Just querying a little as I am new here. If you deem a post idiotic, does it mean a warning/ban?

R-KEANE

Gordon wrote:

If it's not necessarily the most law abiding path then it shouldn't be on PI.

If you wish to discuss this further then either PM me or take it to the feedback forum.

Back on topic.

We're still on topic mate. We never left it.

Beruthiel

Ag marbh wrote:

Don't bring it back. You probably stole from a money grabbing company that takes advantage of many things so keep it. I have personally stolen from all big shops i've worked in through my teens and don't mind your parents that's just the normal parent behaviour.

good lord :rolleyes:

what a great attitude, honestly, am I just getting old or have peoples self respect and morals just gone down the toilet?

stealing is stealing is stealing,
it's wrong, you cannot make excuses for it, doesn't matter whither it's from some large, corporate whore of a company you hate or some poor beggar off the street, it's still stealing and you will not, cannot justify it.

dudara

Please read Gordon's post. This thread is not the place to discuss mod policy.

BACK ON TOPIC

Beruthiel

R-KEANE wrote:

Now, I'm not trying to have a go. Just querying a little as I am new here. If you deem a post idiotic, does it mean a warning/ban?

yes, you are new here, and might I suggest you read this forums charter before I ban you for taking this thread off topic
B

Ag marbh

Beruthiel wrote:

good lord :rolleyes:

what a great attitude, honestly, am I just getting old or have peoples self respect and morals just gone down the toilet?

stealing is stealing is stealing,
it's wrong, you cannot make excuses for it, doesn't matter whither it's from some large, corporate whore of a company you hate or some poor beggar off the street, it's still stealing and you will not, cannot justify it.

Big corporations seem to justify it on a daily basis. I just don't think this guy should be in such a stressful situation over this and to get on with his life.

tbh

OP - it's like this. What you've done is wrong. You know it (else you wouldn't be posting here) and your parents know it. To them, this is the thin end of the wedge. It's upsetting for them. So, either you can hang on to the bit of stolen kit, and leave your parents upset, or you can show them that you respect them, and return it, thus facing the consequences for your actions and re-assuring your parents. for me, it would be a straightforward choice, but everyones different.

karma warning: what goes around, comes around.

LegacyUser

Right here's the drill:

OP and a accomplice stole an item worth approx €200 from a large company/multinational.

He was not caught stealing by the company, or the Gardai, and as such you could say he/she is pretty much in the clear.

No matter whether they get caught or not, they stole the item, getting caught does not suddenly make it wrong, it is wrong whether they get caught or not.

Now the nub of the debate is whether they:

(a) did a stupid thing and made a mistake in the heat of the moment, and somehow thought they'd live on the wrong side of the law once-off? If this is the case, do they see the error in their ways and would not "re-offend"

or

(b) saw an opportunity to get something for free, irrespective of the consequences to others, and would easily do the same again if they though they could get away with it.

If the answer is A, then I would suggest that you do something like donate the item to a charity shop and learn a bloody lesson. It is not alright to steal, irrespective of who the victim is, albeit a Granny's handbag or an item from a large company.

If the answer is B, then I suggest your parents make you return the item to the store, and face the consequences.

Be sure that there is an excellent chance that you will charged and the company will throw everything bar the kitchen sink at you, large retail outlets usually have a zero-tolerance policy towards theft of any kind.

If you think that you're background i.e. well-educated, middle class, 3rd level student, (which I may add you're damn lucky to have) is worth risking for a poxy material item, then you seriously need to re-assess your outlook on life.

bru

LegacyUser

tbh wrote:

karma warning: what goes around, comes around.

I'm well aware of that and kinda worried cause if my Mam disapproves of something, then something will go wrong. Returning the item is not an option so I'm considering donating the cost of the item to charity....(I do have some savings I can dip into)

tbh

Thief wrote:

I'm well aware of that and kinda worried cause if my Mam disapproves of something, then something will go wrong. Returning the item is not an option so I'm considering donating the cost of the item to charity....(I do have some savings I can dip into)

its a good start, but kind of ducking out of facing your responsibilites. however, if I'm being honest, i'd probably do the same thing. At the end of the day man, you need to be able to look your family in the eye - if donating to charity will do that for you, then grand. just don't do nothing.

edit : irish mammies have supernatural powers!

Beruthiel

Ag marbh wrote:

Big corporations seem to justify it on a daily basis.

yes, they do
but what exactly has that got to do with the fact that it's still wrong?
or are you trying to say that if they do it then why can't you?
sorry, that doesn't wash with me, whither you are a big corp or one man, it's still stealing

I just don't think this guy should be in such a stressful situation over this and to get on with his life.

again
you are wrong, he damn well should stress about it, he stole something that did not belong to him cos he thought he'd get away with it, that is wrong, end of story - if he was my son, I'd march him right back down to the place he stole it from and let him deal with the consequences.

Ag marbh

Beruthiel wrote:

yes, they do
but what exactly has that got to do with the fact that it's still wrong?
or are you trying to say that if they do it then why can't you?
sorry, that doesn't wash with me, whither you are a big corp or one man, it's still stealing

I just don't think this guy should be in such a stressful situation over this and to get on with his life.

again
you are wrong, he damn well should stress about it, he stole something that did not belong to him cos he thought he'd get away with it, that is wrong, end of story - if he was my son, I'd march him right back down to the place he stole it from and let him deal with the consequences.

Stealing from big corporations that manipulate people is not a crime in my opinion. I wouldn't steal from a cornershop or from an individual but I was happy to ring in the wrong amount I paid for an item in more than one shop that I worked for.
He shouldn't be stressed about it and thank goodness he's not your son.

LegacyUser

Beruthiel wrote:

you are wrong, he damn well should stress about it, he stole something that did not belong to him cos he thought he'd get away with it, that is wrong, end of story - if he was my son, I'd march him right back down to the place he stole it from and let him deal with the consequences.

Would you seriously place your son in such a situation that could adversely affect the rest of his life when there are other options? I am old enough to be prosecuted and have a criminal record, would you seriously not explore every other avenue first to ensure your son does not get a criminal record?

dudara

I'm of the opinion that there are varying shades of theft, from Robin Hood-style all the way to armed robbery. However, what matters is your consicence. The OP must do what makes him feel better.

And to quote my mother (thought I'd never see the day), what if everyone thought it was ok to steal from big corporations?

Heinrich

The OP stole and this is wrong! He should have the guts to take the item back to the shop or get his dishonest mate to do so!

Ag Marbh and others who are advocating that this is not wrong should be disciplined or otherwise the boards would be seen to condoning this form of behaviour!

Regardless of who is stealing it is still wrong and does not give anyone a mandate...:mad:

He is lucky I am not his parent!!!

Heinrich

Thief wrote:

Would you seriously place your son in such a situation that could adversely affect the rest of his life when there are other options? I am old enough to be prosecuted and have a criminal record, would you seriously not explore every other avenue first to ensure your son does not get a criminal record?

Son, you should have thougt out that angle when you embarked on your criminal activity! You broke the law and you now feel that you do not have to pay. Frankly, your father is far too lenient.

I would have brought you to the Gardai. Do you have no regard for the feelings of your parents.

Growing up is hard, been there myself as has your parents.

Beruthiel

Thief wrote:

Would you seriously place your son in such a situation that could adversely affect the rest of his life when there are other options?

yes I would
I have brought my child up to know the difference between right and wrong - you clearly have not learned that lesson - if my daughter hadn't learned that lesson from what I'd taught her so far, she damn well would by the time this particular episode was finished.

I am old enough to be prosecuted and have a criminal record

then you are also old enough to know that what you did was wrong, yet still you did it, why? it's wrong, don't you know that? I'm quite sure you do, yet still you went ahead and stole, so yes, you do deserve to pay the price for that.

would you seriously not explore every other avenue first to ensure your son does not get a criminal record

nope
because you are now 18, an adult, answerable to your own actions - by 18 my job is done with my child as far as I'm concerned and she is now responsible for her own actions, as are you

Ag marbh

dudara wrote:

And to quote my mother (thought I'd never see the day), what if everyone thought it was ok to steal from big corporations?

They would collapse and we might be successful in the fight against capitalism?

Ag marbh

Heinrich wrote:

Ag Marbh and others who are advocating that this is not wrong should be disciplined or otherwise the boards would be seen to condoning this form of behaviour!

Condemn me to hell while you're there do-gooder.

Heinrich

Ag marbh wrote:

Condemn me to hell while you're there do-gooder.

No, you are condemning yourself. Just keep it up and you will hopefully be banned for a while!

Maybe you could post your address so that other thieves could pay you a visit as steling is acceptable to you.

Ag marbh

Heinrich wrote:

No, you are condemning yourself. Just keep it up and you will hopefully be banned for a while!

Maybe you could post your address so that other thieves could pay you a visit as steling is acceptable to you.

Why don't you attack the bigger issues with real theft in the world(human rights, animal rights) instead of acting mighty on this act of petty theft?

PS - Being an atheist I can assure you i'm not condemning myself anywhere.

Beruthiel

Ag marbh wrote:

Condemn me to hell while you're there do-gooder.

careful ag marbh

LegacyUser

Okay Beruthiel,
I respect your opinion and that may be how you would choose to deal with the situation but I do find it difficult to believe that a mother could shop her son/daughter to the police.
Anyways I have made my mind up now. I am going to make a donation to charity.

Beruthiel

Thief wrote:

Okay Beruthiel,
I respect your opinion and that may be how you would choose to deal with the situation but I do find it difficult to believe that a mother could shop her son/daughter to the police..

indeed
however
if you knew that you mother would shop you, wouldn't you have thought twice before stealing...?

Ag marbh

Thief wrote:

Okay Beruthiel,
I respect your opinion and that may be how you would choose to deal with the situation but I do find it difficult to believe that a mother could shop her son/daughter to the police.
Anyways I have made my mind up now. I am going to make a donation to charity.

I've heard of parents taking such action(I strongly disagree with it) but I say fairplay to you for making a donation to charity. Chin up and don't worry about it, temptation get's the better of people.

LundiMardi

i would shop my son/daughter for murder or something, not for something so trivial, i would rather spend my time making sure the sibling did not do it again.

Kinetic^

Thief wrote:

Okay Beruthiel,
I respect your opinion and that may be how you would choose to deal with the situation but I do find it difficult to believe that a mother could shop her son/daughter to the police.
Anyways I have made my mind up now. I am going to make a donation to charity.

Seems like the only thing you can do without hanging yourself by the bollocks for doing something wrong.

May I suggest that this is closed now seeing as how it's been resolved - before somebody else condones stealing is ok if from a big company.

sham69

Wow.
I am sure the person involved knows deep down what he did is wrong. It is interesting to get different points of view to be fair. I don't think people are condoning his actions but surely they can have their speak without a gang of moderators holding court. I will probably be reprimanded for this post but what the hell.. Freedom of speech and all that.......
Put it down to a lesson learnt, we have to make mistakes to learn from them.

Ag marbh

sham69 wrote:

Wow.
I am sure the person involved knows deep down what he did is wrong. It is interesting to get different points of view to be fair. I don't think people are condoning his actions but surely they can have their speak without a gang of moderators holding court. I will probably be reprimanded for this post but what the hell.. Freedom of speech and all that.......
Put it down to a lesson learnt, we have to make mistakes to learn from them.

I can't wait to see sham69 play in Asmterdam at wasted

Heinrich

Beruthiel wrote:

indeed
however
if you knew that you mother would shop you, wouldn't you have thought twice before stealing...?

It comes down to when the parents are too lenient (shirking their responsibilities) that the kids can manipulate them. It is wrong to steal be it from a large corporation or a widow's pension and there is a price to pay.

Thief thinks that donating some money to charity whilst keeping the article, worth €200 absolves him from blame. This is wrong. He should have been brought up to be aware of the consequences of his actions

Maybe ag marbh would like to post his address so we can come and steal from him as he finds stealing acceptable.
:mad:

LegacyUser

bruachain wrote:

If the answer is A, then I would suggest that you do something like donate the item to a charity shop and learn a bloody lesson. It is not alright to steal, irrespective of who the victim is, albeit a Granny's handbag or an item from a large company.

Thief wrote:

Anyways I have made my mind up now. I am going to make a donation to charity.

Are you donating the actual item to charity or making a cash donation?