On a 'Break'...Confused...

LegacyUser

Hey there folks,
I'm a regular poster but as I've met people from here wanna go unreg.
This isnt really a big problem, I was just looking for support and maybe some input.
I was in a weird mood on friday and wentto my girlfriens of 5 months. I dont know we got chatting and I said I wanted a break from the relationship for a month. She took it very badly and cried but hugged and kissed me. So I went off and to be honest felt a little shocked, heartbroken, by my own doing. It was surreal as if there was someone else controlling my words.
I really like her, but Ive never been in a relationship before and as it was getting serious I panicked I suppose. I dont know if I'll meet a girl and we'll have the same fun and more, I dont know what to expect-I'm a little confused and feel a little foolish. Am I right to go and experience more relationships? Does everyone in a relationship always have wandering thoughts etc? Is this just pure selfishness? What reasons are there to break up?
I preferred to end it now rather than drag it out and hurt her in the longrun. What should I do with my month?Go out and talk to more girls?See how much I really miss her?I'm clueless!!

Caryatnid

Hmmm. As far as I know, you don't really break it off with someone if you want to be with someone? Did something trigger this, or was it spur of the moment? I reckon: If you really wanted to be with her, and if she really is so special for you, you would still be with her.

Grem

I did the same thing when i was with my first boyfriend, broke up with him because i got a bit freaked out that i was in a serious relationship. But when i realised what id done i went to see him and said sorry and that id made a mistake and he took me back. There's no point in going and 'experiencing' other relationships if you like this girl.
You could be ruining something really good.

AngryBadger

If you're having doubts then it's a good idea to at least take a break, (as you've done), and air those ideas.

Personally if I have any doubts about a relationship that early, I tend to think it's not going to work. This is meant to be the honeymoon period. If you're having serious doubts at this point it doesn't bode well.

Ultimately though only you know, if you're totally miserable without her, maybe you want to be with her. Or maybe you just want to be with anyone so you're not alone? JUst something to consider, not trying to be a prick.

justsomebloke

Was there anything that made you think you needed a break i.e. was there any problems, fights, lack of love, feeling of being friends as opposed to lover etc. I just get the impression from your original post that there is a lack of reason as to why you broke up bar the fact that you where a bit panicked about being in a realtionship.
Now if there was any real reasons as to the break i would say run with it as it probably wasn't meant to be and the realtionship would of jsut died a death at soem point.
However if there was no real reason, then maybe you being in a realtionship of any sorts at the moment probably isn't the best thing as you seem currently unable to commit to relationships and you will jsut end up stringing girls along while you wait till the moment you get scared and run.

py2006

Sounds like perhaps you want to see a couple girls to test your feelings for your girlfriend!

Be warned though, if you do see a girl or two over the month and your gf finds out it will really, really hurt her!

You will be doing the Ross and Rachael thing when explaining it to her, "WE WERE ON A BREAKKKKK"

LegacyUser

Thanks for the comments guys. I'm really trying to clarify and settle my mind on it and know why I did it. Maybe I'm still inlove with the idea of being the bachelor singleton, getting gorgeous girls and living it up etc etc. I know its never gonna happen but its hard to face that reality all of a sudden and settle down with a girl forever.
I must admit this girl is the best thing thats ever happened to me..or is she?Maybe I can do better?
Although we were having sex around 5 times a week it was to me more like friends having sex. She claims to enjoy it but rarely orgasms during, maybe she thinks of it as a friends thing aswell.
If I went off with another bird now I'd feel weird I have to say. It wud definitely kill my girlfriend in limbo. She said that if we broke up that would be it forever. No going back. So with that in mind Im scared to lose her like that..just because I'm eager to spread my wild oats. I'll see how I feel in a week or two maybe, then I will know for certain how I feel. Three days later, that heartbroken feeling seems to be fading. Do I want it to fade, no. Its so confusing!!!!!!!

Chinafoot

Who says your relationship has to be forever? You've only been together for 5 months! How old are you both if you dont mind me asking?

To be honest, if you really like this girl then you should just relax and enjoy the relationship. If you think if her as a friend then break up with her and don't string her along. Also, don't assume that she thinks of you as a friend because she rarely cums during sex (although to be honest it sounds like you're trying to justify your own feelings by saying that she probably feels the same). A lot of women don't orgasm during penetration and if you are having sex that often maybe you should try out some new things and find out what does it for her.

If you want to go back to being single then break up with her. Don't take a "break" for a month just so you can go off and play the field and then expect her to be there waiting for you if you realise that you want to be with her.

Also, if you do take a break how would you feel if she is with someone else during that time? Would you be hurt?

metrovelvet

Don't forget half time doesn't mean each team leaves the field and plays a different game.

Whatever your terms and conditions are be clear about them and above board.