I can hear ya FFS NOT AGAIN

AllStar

yet another thread about a confused 20 somthing male!!;)

im in my 3rd year in college now and back in 1st year i told two of my closest friends (both girls) that i am attracted to both men and women! it was quite hard for me to do as i really dont like to talk about it. anyway since this i ended up having a year and a half relationship with one of the girls that i told, that all ended in october of last year (i broke up with her). i have not talked to my other friend (we will call her megan) about my attraction to men since i initally told her, anytime its brought up i just feel really uncomfortable and change the subject! its not that i dont think she is going to be supportive or anything i just dont think i am sure myself! i am most definatly attracted to girls but i haven had any experiance with guys AT ALL.

Recently ive begun to think about it more and more and end up feeling really stupid for not just biting the bullet and goin into town and trying to meet someone in some of the gay clubs etc but i just cant face it cause i dont have anyone i could go in with and also im kinda freaked out that ill meet someone i know in there!its strange that i dont even think twice about going out and meetin women but its really is beginnig to piss me off that i wont just go and do it cause i know thats prob what i gotta do! i cant see myself going in on my own tho!

vanessa

Believe me I know what you mean about not wanting to meet someone you know.. been there and have several tshirts. I think its a case of once you are in those surroundings a few times you get more comfortable. Its not only gay or bi people who go into gay clubs. If you dont want to show your colours to the world you dont have to - if you meet someone you know, so what? You're on a night out - just like them

swiss

I have to agree with vanessa about meeting someone you know. I've heard this quite a few times (mostly from guys) about when they first started going out to gay or bisexual places that they were worried they would meet someone they knew. I didn't really understand that. If you meet someone you know, surely they would be either in the same position as yourself or at least openminded enough not to judge people about it. In fact it would probably be a bonus because at the very least you would have someone to talk to if you went on your own.

Other than that, I would say that the reason you're comfortable going out looking for women is because it's tried and trusted territory for you. You know where you stand, how you feel and in some cases whats going to likely happen. On the other hand, you don't have any of that assurance going to a gay/bi place. Maybe you'll find guys aren't for you at all, or quite the opposite. It's not my place to tell you to bite the bullet and give it a go but from what I can tell the worst that could happen is that you learn a little bit more about yourself.

snappieT

Does you college not have an LGB(T)(Q)etc... society?

If they do, chances are they all go out to a gay club at least once a month. Consider joining the soc, getting to know a few people, and then going out with them all some night.

ixion

snappieT wrote:

Does you college not have an LGB(T)(Q)etc... society?

If they do, chances are they all go out to a gay club at least once a month. Consider joining the soc, getting to know a few people, and then going out with them all some night.

sounds like a plan to me... and its prob the easiest one to do.

grizi

swiss wrote:

I have to agree with vanessa about meeting someone you know. I've heard this quite a few times (mostly from guys) about when they first started going out to gay or bisexual places that they were worried they would meet someone they knew. I didn't really understand that. If you meet someone you know, surely they would be either in the same position as yourself or at least openminded enough not to judge people about it. In fact it would probably be a bonus because at the very least you would have someone to talk to if you went on your own.

I think it's not so much meeting someone else but more - oh my god, everyone's going to think I'm gay and I'm not even sure myself. The thing is, it's worth the risk and if you went some friends who were adventurous enough to try a new place, it could just be another night out instead of you being outed. The LGBT soc is definitely worth a shot too and if it disappoints, don't let that put you off - lots of socs are crap

AllStar

cheers for the advice guys,
had a talk with my mate last nite and she set my mind at ease about a few things!! she said she would come out with me next week to a pub.
next step is to find somewhere to go!! where wud be good to go?

azezil

The Front lounge is pretty casual, would be the easiest place to get 'climatised'

grizi

Yep, Front Lounge is really nice and not a whole lot different from an ordinary nice bar. The Dragon is almost the opposite - really colourful in places and they have the most unusual seats towards the rear half of the ground floor, almost like cabins. The George then is the legendary gay bars/club in Dublin.

There's a nice list and map here by GCN - "Download The Little Gay Map of Dublin in PDF Format"

carbonkid

Yea Front Lounge is alot less in your face gay alright but if your thinking you wont mind meeting another guy, if even just to chat, you probably wanna check out the George.