telling best friend you like them

jj99

how will i tell my best friend that i like her more than just a friend!

is_that_so

Two questions

How long have you known her?

What is the likely effect in your mind if you do tell her?

A couple I know are also best friends.

Plunky

You won't. It'll end horrendously... If there's one think you can never do, it's tell her... Yes, it sucks, but trust me, dealing with and lettings these feelings pass is infinitely better than the years of pain and awkwardness you would both face if you told her...

jj99

i know her about two hours and in general shes a real flirty girl so dont know whats goin on in her head?

qz

jj99 wrote:

i know her about two hours and in general shes a real flirty girl so dont know whats goin on in her head?

Two hours and she's your best friend already? There's something wrong there.

*Lolly*

jj99 wrote:

i know her about two hours and in general shes a real flirty girl so dont know whats goin on in her head?

Two hours?? Woah hun slow down

Im not telling you your feeling's for this gyal are wrong, - Quite the opposite infact, but i think it would be wise for you to wait a little longer, even just a few days just to be sure that theese feelings no matter how big or small are true. Sometimes your head can play tricks on you and make you believe it's your heart. Thats why it's always best to give it time.

I know you may be rolling you eyes and cursing my words as you read, believe me its not easy waiting, The moment i laid eyes on my boyf i wanted to scream and shout and let everyone know! But instead i was patient (for once in my life) and in that time, i worked out exactly how much i liked him, in what way and what i wanted todo about it.

Then when you feel ready and that the time is right, you go ahead and tell her how you feel.

Alot of people believe this will 'ruin' your friendship with this girl but to be honest, i rekon thats complete bull.
What i mean is - if this girl does genuinely like and value you (as a friend) she will be touched that you feel that way even if she doesnt have the same feeling's towards you, and will remain friends.

Best of Luck!

AngryBadger

edited

Do you have any reason to think she'd be interested in you?

jj99

sorry i meant two YEARS, sorry heads gone mad. and shes more of a really really really good friend than best friend

Font22

hahaha, so funny to see peoples reaction to that!
seriously though, dont do it, only ends in tears.

*Lolly*

Font22 wrote:

hahaha, so funny to see peoples reaction to that!
seriously though, dont do it, only ends in tears.

You dont know that for sure. Noone does

py2006

jj99 wrote:

how will i tell my best friend that i like her more than just a friend!

Ho ho ho, I know how you feel! I have feelings for this girl for a long time and in the last 6 months or so we have become really good friends which I am glad about but really wrecks my head as I just want to kiss her and hold her!

Hurts like a bitch but to be honest I fear that I will loose the friendship if I tell her I like her!

Your better off letting time dissolve the feelings and keeping a really good friend!

lyrama

Ease into the topic, don't rush things. Being blatent will probably startle her a bit if you haven't given any signals yet. Just act naturally around her and do what feels right. Drop little hints and build on that before asking her in a GENTLEMAN like and maybe ROMANTIC way *hint*hint* and I'll add a *wink* in there for good measure . Good luck !

Terry

do it. tell her. i did it.
she told me that she just wanted to remain friends and we are still close a year later.
if she is a good friend, she will stay a friend no matter what.
if you don't tell her then you will be plagued with "what if's"

Gator

Do it,tell her,live life with no regrets....

SxE Punk

Theres really no point asking strangers about issues like this, what you should do depends on the kinda person you are, and no one here knows that, so here's what you can do, though I assume you had already figured out these highly complex courses of action.(sarcasm)

You can tell her everything you feel, try steering a conversation that way, or prepare something really eloquent and thoughtful to say to express your feelings, but either way tell her. You might end up getting together, which would make you extremely happy for a long time, on the otherhand you have an equal chance to end up losing a good friend, which may cause you pain, or you might both be mature about it and still remain friends, but at any rate at least you gave it a shot and got closure on the issue.

Or you can not tell her, and sit idly by watching her make stupid relationship decisions and bitching to you about her current boyfriends and fsck buddies while you're left there pining for a girl you didn't even have the balls to be honest with because you were afraid of the consequences and knowing all the while you could have been the best thing that ever happened to her, and this way you'll never know what may have been had you only told the truth. However you might also be the kinda person who would be able to accept things the way they are and just get on with it.

So I guess it all depends on what kinda person you are. Personally I live life by the "he who dares, wins" mantra, and this has happened me before, me and the chick in question never got into a relationship but then I wasn't really in love with her, I was just very interested in seeing where a relationship with her would go, being that shes very attractive and one of the all round most awesome people I've ever known. We're still best friends though. And I know where we both stand on the issue, we're both cool and its forgotten about, so thoughts of what may have been don't plague my mind.

Personally, I think you should go with the first choice, and then again you just may not be that kinda guy.

tonyinuae

py2006 wrote:

Ho ho ho, I know how you feel! I have feelings for this girl for a long time and in the last 6 months or so we have become really good friends which I am glad about but really wrecks my head as I just want to kiss her and hold her!

Hurts like a bitch but to be honest I fear that I will loose the friendship if I tell her I like her!

Your better off letting time dissolve the feelings and keeping a really good friend!

Why is everyone so terrified of telling a friend they have feelings for them? For all they know, the sentiment may be returned! Surely people aren't so shallow and scared that they would drop someone as a friend the moment that friend is courageous enough to admit romantic feelings! They should be touched and flattered, even if the feelings are not returned.

Well, that's my opinion anyway.

py2006

tonyinuae wrote:

Why is everyone so terrified of telling a friend they have feelings for them? For all they know, the sentiment may be returned! Surely people aren't so shallow and scared that they would drop someone as a friend the moment that friend is courageous enough to admit romantic feelings! They should be touched and flattered, even if the feelings are not returned.

Well, that's my opinion anyway.

Yes, sounds wonderful! But we aint all living on Waltons mountain! In reality it can just make things awkward and uncomfortable!

Racheal Green

Yeah very awkward...:)

From experience, you just got to ask yourself one question...if something were to happen tomorrow to either you or her...would you be happy knowing that you were really really really good friends or regret that you never told her and you could have been together...?
I know whatever way you interpret this will prove what you really want and should do...:)


Dont mean to be all depreesing about it, but sometimes to see the good things in life you got to look at the bad...make you appreciate them more:)

*Lolly*

I stick by what i said before lad,

If she's anything of a mate in the first place, if she has respect for you then she will remain your pal whatever her own feeling's may be.

Best of luck

Let us know how you get on!

Eminem

Dont go there it aint worth it

dar83

Eminem wrote:

Dont go there it aint worth it

Thats a bit of a stupid response.

I'd do it, for the same reason someone else mentioned, the "what if?" factor. I was in the same position once and I just went for it, it didn't work out as being anything more than friends, which I actually pretty much knew before I even brought it up but we were still really good friends afterwards.

I look back at it now and think, "well thank fcuk I did it". Not only was it a learning experience but I've got no regrets over it at all. I opened my heart and she danced on it. :v:

At least it gave my mind rest and let me move on to another dance floor. :cool:

Eminem

dar83 wrote:

Thats a bit of a stupid response.

I'd do it, for the same reason someone else mentioned, the "what if?" factor. I was in the same position once and I just went for it, it didn't work out as being anything more than friends, which I actually pretty much knew before I even brought it up but we were still really good friends afterwards.

I look back at it now and think, "well thank fcuk I did it". Not only was it a learning experience but I've got no regrets over it at all. I opened my heart and she danced on it. :v:

At least it gave my mind rest and let me move on to another dance floor. :cool:

Fair enough but its not the same for everyone. The same thing happend me to and it didnt work .

Laguna

I told a good friend that I wanted to take it further with her and it didn't happen, she was really good about it, well, as good as you can be flatly turning down a friend who has declared their love to you and for a while after it was still cool between us. After this 'while' ended (the shortest while ever really, about a week) I became really pissed off and rejected, I didn't resent her at all (it's not her fault I wasn't what she wanted) but it still made me avoid her, be short with her and eventually lose contact with her altogether.

Moral of the story

DON'T DO IT

Laguna

Oh and by the way, I'm not a big believer in the "What if" school of thought, maybe I've just been unlucky but I'm an advocate of the "I can't believe I ****ing did that" theorum..

deaddonkey

I've done it and regret it.

It just hurt more, and I still feel that way about her.
I stopped seeing her at all because I felt humiliated by it, so I've lost a fairly good friend by doing it.

But it's your call, if you think she might say yes then it's definitely worth it.

Ickle Magoo

If you know it's unrequited I would keep quiet, I don't think you have anything to gain & everything to loose from any unwanted declarations.....

If my best friend said they had fallen for me, I would feel awkward, I would find it difficult/insensitive to discuss partners or who I liked, etc, etc.....it would completely change the dynamics of the relationship from a friend who was great because I could talk to them about anything - to someone I know wants more from me than I can give.....they would still be my friend but I wouldn't talk about the same things as I once used to....so they may not think things had changed - but they would have.....

On the other hand if you think the feelings are reciprocated, what have you got to loose? Best of luck

Laguna

Ickle Magoo wrote:

On the other hand if you think the feelings are reciprocated, what have you got to loose?

Everything you said previously if he thinks they're reciprocated and they turn out not to be..

Ickle Magoo

Laguna wrote:

Everything you said previously if he thinks they're reciprocated and they turn out not to be..

By think, I meant if he was fairly sure they were reciprocated.....:p:)

DAEDULUS

SxE Punk wrote:

You might end up getting together, which would make you extremely happy for a long time, on the otherhand you have an equal chance to end up losing a good friend, which may cause you pain

Dont EVER believe that its an equal chance lol..
Hes been friends with this girl 2 years,hes doomed..

cant be arsed to write a big detailed reasoning..ill just tell you this: Any attraction she had for you lept out the window after the first week when you were to afraid to make a move,flirt,anything...

edanto

Do you go out with her much? Dinner, shows, that kind of thing, just you and her?

If she starts asking you to spend more time with just her and you both talk the odd time about how much fun it is rah rah rah, then she might fancy you too.

Basically, she might forgive you for trying, but she'll NEVER forgive you for not trying.

spockety

Dude. She's not your friend, and she never was.

She is a girl you FANCY and want to have sex with. You have created the illusion of a friendship as your way of getting close to her. It won't work, it rarely does.

Hate to say it to you, but it doesn't matter if you tell her or not, she won't feel the same way. I recommend that you tell her, accept the rejection, realise that you can't be 'friends', and just move on the hell away from her and let your feelings die with time.

Good luck.