Stardust

lilmissprincess

The dark smoky room
Filled to capacity
Laughter and Music.
Burn baby burn
The unknown inferno
Going on overhead
As they danced below.
They so in love
Just turned seventeen
Her first dance
On this Valentines Eve
Music is pumping
Burn Baby Burn
Disco Inferno
Suddenly clear.
Screams in the air so warm
She clings to him
Cries of "I love you"
Cries of helpless need.
Bang. Crash. Scream.
To no use
Burn Baby Burn
Love is naive
To this tragedy that happened
On Valentines Eve

I wrote this after watching the documentary on the Stardust Tragedy. I wasn't around when it happened, but still it shocked me.

Night_Rocker

You are quite insensitive! like, what! "burn baby burn"! i mean jesus christ. there is such a thing called tact you know! Some things are better left unwritten. And it didn't happen on valentines eve.

arbeitsscheuer

That is the most insensitive and thoughtless piece of writing I've ever seen in CW.

Congrats. I think that was even worse than my stuff (and ask anyone, my stuff's woeful)

lyrama

SebtheBum wrote:

That is the most insensitive and thoughtless piece of writing I've ever seen in CW.

Congrats. I think that was even worse than my stuff (and ask anyone, my stuff's woeful)

Don't be so pessemistic and mean guys!

lilmissprincess

Sorry for offending anyone, its just what came through as feelings while watching it.

name_less

sensitive to who? the victims? their families? the girl wrote what she felt after hearing their story. sensitivity has nothing to do with it. you are just talking about political correctness, which is a much bigger problem for every kind of artist these days.

lilmissprincess

I count Feb 13th as Valentines Eve. Thats when the night started.
And yeah, thanks name less.

Night_Rocker

Tact has nothing to do with ****in political correctness. There is a way of treating people and a way of goin about things! It's stuff like that that people don't need to see. I understand that it's how you felt bla bla bla. But i think before you think about yourself, think about what you're writing before puttin it on a ****in public forum! I mean jesus!

is_that_so

This is sometimes what happens when we write things that have a strong emotional imapct on us. They can look good to us because we are too close to them. I can see what you were trying to do but unfortunately it didn't work in this case. Most of the problem in the poem is that you did not use your own words.

TerrorFirmer

Whatever about the poem itself - which isn't quite as bad as others seem to think - you need to take out that line "burn baby burn". It's not just the fact thats its insensitive, inappropriate and plain stupid, it makes the rest of the poem look stupid as well. Take it out and the poem will look and read alot better as a whole.

jcoote

the 'burn baby burn' thing added kind of a comical element to the poem and takes away from the fact that u were shocked and how terrible a tragedy it actually was...i like it otherwise...feels like what actually happened like

Wanted Man

Art should be about expressing yourself freely and in a personal way. There is possibly as seen with the muslim cartoon furore a fine line between artistic freedom and sensitivity to others. However a good artist should not distort what he or she thinks and feels personally or censor themselves so as to fit in with what others think is appropriate….

pisslips

is_that_so wrote:

This is sometimes what happens when we write things that have a strong emotional imapct on us. They can look good to us because we are too close to them. I can see what you were trying to do but unfortunately it didn't work in this case. Most of the problem in the poem is that you did not use your own words.

I respect this view.

However I like that this poem has more depth than meets the eye(hate cliche),The unknown inferno and burn baby burn, re-iterate the feeling of pure innocence and justifies our anger.Censorshiip makes us weaker when dealing with real life rather than this Politically correct cucuun we've built through fear and fantasy.It's wonderful, "burn baby burn", the childish illiteration and the contrast with "Inferno". The original sense of evil distorting innocense.

I would say be original and ignore the generic myre of people and their "political correctness"

It's about emotion and perhaps "spirituality" but not words. They're just a medium like the air we breathe.Not Important, but we couldn't live without them.

Nala

Insensitive as hell. "Burn baby burn"???
That's ****ing sick.

dbnavan

jcoote wrote:

the 'burn baby burn' thing added kind of a comical element to the poem and takes away from the fact that u were shocked and how terrible a tragedy it actually was...i like it otherwise...feels like what actually happened like

LittleMiss & Jcoote
Nothing remotely comical about the night men and women lost their sons and daughters and I almost lost 2 aunts. Go up to baumount and look at the meomorial and even try get burn baby burn across ur lips. If you can your a coldhearted......... (eh never mind your not worth getting banned over)

its sick, disgusting, and horrifying

Lothaar

OP: You weren't there, neither was anyone you care about. The very fact that you posted this abomination shows that you really have no idea of how people genuinely affected by the disaster feel. Write about what you know, not what you saw in a TV programme.

Night_Rocker

That's a very good point. But in her defense these are the feelings she felt watching the show, she never said she was there.

Sarky

What a lot of emotional outbursts.

She must be doing something right.

dbnavan

Sarky wrote:

What a lot of emotional outbursts.

She must be doing something right.

Only thing she did was make people extremely annoyed who where affected by it, if you call that right you must be just as sick.

I guarantee you wouldn't make that comment or 'smile' if you were too!

Night_Rocker

Well... I would agree that it is quite a compliment to get so much contreversy over some internet poem. I'd be quite flattered.

dbnavan

Night_Rocker wrote:

Well... I would agree that it is quite a compliment to get so much contreversy over some internet poem. I'd be quite flattered.

Usually when I annoy or upset someone I dont consider it a compliment.

Night_Rocker

Hey, sorry if i offended, but it is just an opinion to which i'm entitled