Driving In Ireland.

iregk

Got this today, couldn't help but laugh as all of them are so true...

1. Indicators will give away your next move. A confident Irish driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because somebody else will fill in the space, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with WW, MO or MH plates. With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.

5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the motorway.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in Ireland during rush hour.

8. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

9. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Ireland is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert!

10. It is tradition in Ireland to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

11. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle through the windscreen right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

12. Remember that the goal of every Irish driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

13. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

That a good one

koneko

Noo, don't post that, some muppet will take it seriously!

Dooom

Lol
1, 3, 9 and 11 are excellent.

seamus

Ha! I've actually rationally thought number two to myself at times

iregk

we have have mate! number 2 should be down in the irish rules of the road survival guide!!!

krinpit

14. Always honk your horn at cyclists if the lane is too narrow to overtake them safely. This will give them superhuman powers enabling them to speed up to 50kmph

Capt'n Midnight

15. Hazard warning lights are only to be used
* When double parking
or
* at christmas
or
* if needed to hid indicators

If you have you have a taxi license you can also use them
or
* stopping
or
* driving slowly
or
* reversing
or
* any combination of the above

Indicators can be any shade between White or Orange according to owners preference. Bonus points if you can make a red tinted bulb fit.

mayordenis

their really should be something about how irish roads were mainly made for pedestrains to run across randomly and that cars shouldnt have the cheek to be anywhere in the vicinity

iregk

Yeah and under no circumstances should you over take cars one at a time. That signifies fear. A real man overtakes a minimum of 3 cars at a time. Even on corners.

Tiger Jim

Excellent Post!

stevenmu

13 is another one that sadly makes sense, people seem to not only bother stopping for stop signs but assume the car in front of them won't either and just keep going.