Memory loss or just an A$$hole??

LegacyUser

Was going out with my ex for about 2 years, he broke up with me because he decided he was too young to be in a serious relationship and I guess just wanted to play the field a bit. He was 22, me 23. I was heart broken, we kept in touch a bit hooked up twice in the 4 months after we had broke up. He knew I was still mad about him but kept to his decision.
I was going away to Canada for a year and before I went we met up again out, both really drunk we ended up kissing and getting into a big chat about everything that happened, he then told me how much he missed me and that he still loved me and really regreted breaking up with me. I was so shocked and happy at the same time. We talked about maybe getting back together when I got home. The next day (day before I was leaving) I was texting him, he said he couldnt remember any of that conversation we had and that 'if' he said those things he didnt mean them?!
So was everything he said just big fat lies?! Is he just a complete a$$hole?

Beruthiel

well, we can't read minds.
but
he either doesn't remember
or
it's his way of backing out of saying stuff he didn't mean while drunk....
delete his number from your phone, cut all ties with him and get on with your own life.

The Corinthian

The male memory centre is situated in the testicles. Empty those and you’ll generally find a corresponding effect on memory.

seamus

Confuzzed wrote:

So was everything he said just big fat lies?! Is he just a complete a$$hole?

No. Alcamahol has a funny effect. You talk a whole pile while drunk, and at the time you may believe that you completely mean everything your saying. But your rational self has been cut off. I've said plenty of things in drunken talk that I don't actually mean. For example, I told my girlfriend's mate that if she (my gf) wasn't studying in London, I'd have married her already. I completely and utterly believed myself at the time. But it's completely and utterly untrue. But I was drunk, it's verbal diarrhoea.

It unfortunate that he said it, and screwed with your head, but things said while severely drunk are generally not reliable indicators of anything. He clearly still thinks you're the dog's bollix, but that doesn't mean he wants to get back with you, even if he said it while hammered.

Gurgle

Confuzzed wrote:

we ended up kissing and getting into a big chat about everything that happened, he then told me how much he missed me and that he still loved me and really regreted breaking up with me.

He has discovered that getting laid isn't as easy as his single friends told him it was. He hasn't had any since he dumped you. Since you're going away, he was hoping to have a good time without any strings attached.

Confuzzed wrote:

Is he just a complete a$$hole?

Yep.

koolthefunk

The Corinthian wrote:

The male memory centre is situated in the testicles. Empty those and you’ll generally find a corresponding effect on memory.

Quote of the century!!


To the OP....most likely at least half of what he said had some truth in it. There are two schools of thought on this"

1. He's an *rsehole who either doesn't really respect you enough to tell you how he really feels or even more likely he's too immature to even understand why his behaviour would be considered *rseholish....

and/or

2. It's not necissarily an excuse but hey he was drunk...my rule with drunken conversations is ask the person agAin in the morning....everyones had drunken conversationS when they decide that we're all going on holidays in two weeks....talk to every single one down to a person and no ones gonna want to go....


I think the truth lies somewhere between the two.....either way with this instance he's kinda proven he's not the one for you....think of it as a positive and get some closure.

constitutionus

seamus wrote:

No. Alcamahol has a funny effect. You talk a whole pile while drunk, and at the time you may believe that you completely mean everything your saying. But your rational self has been cut off. I've said plenty of things in drunken talk that I don't actually mean. For example, I told my girlfriend's mate that if she (my gf) wasn't studying in London, I'd have married her already. I completely and utterly believed myself at the time. But it's completely and utterly untrue. But I was drunk, it's verbal diarrhoea.

It unfortunate that he said it, and screwed with your head, but things said while severely drunk are generally not reliable indicators of anything. He clearly still thinks you're the dog's bollix, but that doesn't mean he wants to get back with you, even if he said it while hammered.

i concur with this. alcohols a depressant, so you start dwelling on things that dont really bother you when your sober and as a result talk bollocks. if he was absolutly ****faced he probably genuinely doesnt remember anything he's said. i spent TWO hours talking to a girl recently and can only remember her first name (bloody inconvienient considering i fancied the arse off her, lucky i can bull**** with the best of em or i'd have to come clean )

Ickle Magoo

If, after two yrs, your ex decided that he loved you well enough to want to play the field, then that alone would be enought to make me move on......and quickly....

I'd say he knows you still carry a torch for him & also knowing of your impending departure, I'd bet he told you what he thought you wanted to hear....in the hope it got him into your pants....:rolleyes: I could be wrong tho, the guy may well feel smitten by you & just be too embarrassed to admit it - but then he wouldn't doubt your word that he said what he said or say he didn't mean anything he did said to you.....

In short I'd say yup & yup to your questions........best of luck

AngryBadger

As Beruthiel said, either he genuinely doesn't remember the conversation, or he does but he doesn't want to be committed to anything he said. And as has been pointed out, when drunk things look totally different, and everyone is up for going on holiday.

But I'd say cut your ties to this one. Regardles of whether he remembers or not, he's using you for the occasional comfort shag, (and tbh you're using him for it), which is all well and good, you're both grown-ups but it's obviously wrecking your head. So I'd say you'd be beter of well shot of that situation.

Victor

So, in the drunken stupor, how much of his verbal diarrhea did you imagine?

arbeitsscheuer

The mobile phone should come with an inability to work at all if the user is completely blotto...

...this would end some of the embarrassing "conversations" that occassionally occur due to the intoxicated mind finding a number on said mobile and, in a haze of inebriation, thinking; "Oh wow - hic - I used to go out wit her - hic - I'll call and everything will be - hic - luvviewuvvie again..."

Marvellous.

Kell

Confuzzed wrote:

So was everything he said just big fat lies?! Is he just a complete a$$hole?

Who knows. More to the point, do you really want to involve yourself with someone you dont have a future with. Secondly, why get involved again if he dumped you? Third of all, wheres your self esteem girl/guy.

Pfft.

K-

LegacyUser

Thanks guys, you really did just confirm what I thought and needed to hear. Ive been away 4 months now and still think about him a good bit but havent made any contact. Hopefully with time I can get thoughts of him out of my head and meet a nice guy who treats me properly.

LegacyUser

I think it was 'de drink' talking. He just wanted to empty 'de bag'.