Feeling left behind

LegacyUser

I know this is stupid but I just need to get it off my chest. I'm 19 and in first year at uni. i moved to the uk while nearly all my friends stayed at home. The thing is that it seems like all my friends are getting boyfriends and having sex. I'm single and still a virgin which didn't particularly bother me until I found out this morning that a friend of mine had sex with her sort-of boyfriend 3 weeks ago. This friend, who I'll call mary was my perennially single friend. She had very little interest in guys and had only kissed a handful in her life. I always took comfort in the fact that sexually she was far less experienced than me. But over christmas she started scoring with a guy and they slept together in January. I only found out this morning, which kind of hurt, but is fair enough because I'm in a different country. It just kind of came as a shock that it happened so quickly. Another of my friends has slept with several guys since starting uni in the uk too. I know it's ridiculous to compare myself to my friends and things will happen in time but I'm just feeling so frustrated right now. I'm one of the last people left from my friends who's still a virgin and I feel pathetic. You know that feeling where you think everyone's doing it but you?

I don't feel comfortable talking to my new friends here about it, and I don't want to say it to my friends at home so I just needed to get it off my chest here.

py2006

Try not to think about it that way! Your time will cum! (sorry)

Don't go out looking for sex just because you want to catch up with your friends. Sex isn't the be all and end all of everything (can't believe I said that). Meet some people, date some guys. See how it goes. There is no rush or it doesn't mean that you cannot live your life until you have sex.

BoozyBabe

py2006 is right, though it probably doesn't help you to hear it right now.

Situations that lead to sex happen sooner for some than for others.
Your friends got into a relationship (casual or not) where they felt ready for sex.
You just haven't been in this situation yet, & believe me, it's not a race.

You could go into any bar tonight, walk up to a guy & say 'i'll have sex with you' & I doubt you'll get many rejections.
But do you actualy want this.
I mean, once you feel you've gotten rid of your virgin tag, do you think it'll make you feel any different.

It doesn't. Sex is no big deal, especially when it's something casual. Yes, it's fantastic when you're in a loving relationship with someone you really care about.

Instead of fretting over a status thing, I think you should concentrate on bagging yourself a nice bloke & let things progress naturally from there.

SxE Punk

Is your problem lack of confidence? If you just want the bragging rights of getting laid, go to Camden, dress up like a goth, get twisted drunk and go to a club. Game, set and match.

If you're one of the kinda person who would actually want to wait til you find the person thats right for you, then I applaud your decision. If its just that you don't wanna feel left behind, don't, stand by your decision, it'll be worth it in the end. I've heard losing your virginity to promiscuous sex be compared to the turn of the millenium, every one talked about it like you had to make a huge deal out of it, like it was gonna be the best thing to ever happen, and when it was over, nothing had changed and you just felt the same, sounds about right to me.

LegacyUser

I want to wait for somebody I'm actually attracted to and like, at least. I'm not looking for him to be The One by any means, but I'm not gonna go and and get laid by some randomer just so I can say I've done it. I've plenty of male friends who'd be happy to help me out if it came to that.

I guess I'm just feeling immature somehow, like they're all growing up and I'm not. And I'm starting to feel like there's something wrong with me because I've been single for so long.

AngryBadger

Unfortunately everything around us is geared toward making people feel like there's something wrong with being single. Movies, adverts, TV, even our whole social scene is based on "pulling".

All I can offer is that there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single, and it is important to be comfortable your first time. Anyone who tells you different is just a tosser.

annR

I'm not gonna go and and get laid by some randomer just so I can say I've done it.

you go girl. . . . .keep that attitude and guys will be begging for your spare time not your body. Or maybe that's only when they get a bit older. Whatever