Should I take more chances????

marie_85

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.

Basically, I've been single for the past two years, with the exception of a couple of flings.

I've been told that I am attractive, and I have no real trouble picking up guys as such. But it seems that every time I meet a guy and swap numbers with him, I always wait for him to call or text me first, then I chicken out and don't reply to him.

I don't do this to be mean, and quite often a couple of weeks or months later I'll regret not getting back to them. But something in me is too scared to take a chance on them.

Am I blowing my chances of meeting somebody who's right for me, or do you think that if they were genuinely right for me I wouldn't have a problem in getting back to them.

Dave!

Well why do you not ring them back? Is it just nerves? Or is it deeper than that?

marie_85

That's what I'm wondering. I think I kind of get cold feet the next day. I don't know whether I'm scared that I won't live up to their expectations or vice versa.

Vorsprung

You ring him/text him back, go on a few dates, turns out he's not your type and you leave it at that. Next please. Surely that's the worst that could happen?!

Heyes

marie_85 wrote:

That's what I'm wondering. I think I kind of get cold feet the next day. I don't know whether I'm scared that I won't live up to their expectations or vice versa.

Ring them or text them girl. At least you ll know what the story is and you can either enjoy it or move on... only positive about it..

marie_85

I know, and it sounds so logical when you put it like that. Believe me, I've said it to myself enough times. I don't know why it isn't as simple as that for me.

Heyes

marie_85 wrote:

I know, and it sounds so logical when you put it like that. Believe me, I've said it to myself enough times. I don't know why it isn't as simple as that for me.

It always seems simple when your not the person directly involved. I know its possible a little nervous and bewildering for even something so simple, buts its all in your favour, sure some guys like when a girl makes the move. just enjoy yourself and dont be worrying

lili

i would like to know what the guys think about the girls which make the first move?

Heyes

lili wrote:

i would like to know what the guys think about the girls which make the first move?

Look in After hours

lili

you're refering to this thread, hehe :

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054888917

so, i presume that's well percieved:)

[Jackass]

Why the hell wouldn't you txt him back!! :eek:

If you liked him enough to chat to him all night or pull him, and he likes you enough to txt you to see how you are(with the intention of organising a meet up), you might aswell go and meet him for a drink some saturday...your friends will probably be out anyway, so if you decide you dont like him at any point you can go off and meet them...no big deal...

This is probably why you havn't had more than a couple of flings over the past couple of years

By the way...if you happend to pull a fella last wednesday, and havn't txtd him back...please do..It's a long shot, but you never know...

Ickle Magoo

Maybe take a deeper look at what is preventing you from calling/texting these guys back? A good way of getting over the phobia is to text them back, meet up & show yourself it is no big deal....although the first few texts/calls are going to be nervy for you, you will gain in confidence and possibly gain a b/f as a result.....best of luck

Hal1

Go for it in a similuar situation to yerself.

marie_85

DubGuy wrote:

By the way...if you happend to pull a fella last wednesday, and havn't txtd him back...please do..It's a long shot, but you never know...

Sorry, wasn't me.

Thanks for all your advice. I think I'm building it up into a bit of a phobia, probably if I get over the initial hurdle, I'll feel a lot better about the whole thing.

If I'm being completely honest with myself, I'm scared of getting hurt. At least if I stay single, I'm not giving anyone the power to hurt me or reject me. But at the same time, I know I'm missing out.

Chucky the tree

have to stand up and take the hit for the team at some stage, look you leave it the hard it will get.

Civilian_Target

marie_85 wrote:

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.

Basically, I've been single for the past two years, with the exception of a couple of flings.

I've been told that I am attractive, and I have no real trouble picking up guys as such. But it seems that every time I meet a guy and swap numbers with him, I always wait for him to call or text me first, then I chicken out and don't reply to him.

I don't do this to be mean, and quite often a couple of weeks or months later I'll regret not getting back to them. But something in me is too scared to take a chance on them.

Am I blowing my chances of meeting somebody who's right for me, or do you think that if they were genuinely right for me I wouldn't have a problem in getting back to them.

You know that if you meet someone who's right for you it will actually be 10 times harder for you to text him then it is now...

You've made a good point in my head though, a phone call is clearly the better way for a man to go than texting.

py2006

I never understand why women cannot text/ring first! It would make life so much easier!

I love it when the girl texts first. It shows she is interested and it brings a smile to my face.

If you really like a person ring/text them. Loose the mind games!


As for the OP, its clear that you are afraid of getting hurt! We all are, but you cannot live the rest of your life single and lonely. If you like a guy, take the chance! You may get hurt but there is an equal chance of happiness!