Confused about me and my girlfriends best friend

amnesia

Me and my girlfriend have been going out 10 years and are a happy couple. wWe have our domestics like anyone but we dont fight any more than any regular couiple.

The problem is my girlfriends best friend who is also a very good friend of mine. We have known this girl for 7 years and over the years has become a very close friend to both of us. She has been a rock to us over the years and has been there for my girlfriend and me when all sort of problems arise.

Recently we all had a big row and our friendship nearly finished. We salvaged it through talking to one another , but while we were arguing , the thought of losing her filled me with dismay. I only realised how close i am to this girl and feelings started to appear which made me question whether i feel more towards her than a friend. She is not a bad looking girl but hasnt a patch on my girlfriend. I never really looked at her with feelings of lust but we both have very similar personalities. Other friends of ours have commented that myself and her seem better paired than my girlfriend and i.

I dont know what to do. Should i talk to my friend about this and risk losing her as a friend, ( which i would hate to lose her ) Or will i leave well alone and hope these feelings subside. Its F***ing headwrecking me , i reckon she may sense something is wrong with me. The last thing i want to do is upset my girlfriend who is a very loving and loyal girlfriend.

It is possible to love 2 women in that way! Isnt it?

Thanks for reading.

Eminem

To be honest i would leave it if i was you it might cause damage to your freindship and realationship so keep it on the donw low dont say anything . wellcome to boards

You've said she's not a patch on your GF so that says it all.
Everybody has sexual attractions to others when in a relationship.
Acting on them is crazy if you love your partner.

theres no law against fantasising about someone else when you're with your partner though.
Just dont get the name wrong when you're groaning

constitutionus

dont go there mate, ive been there and bought the t shirt. it DOESNT work out well ya just have too much history and you wont be able to think about her without being continually reminded of your current bird. its ALOT of baggage:(

indie

in fairness to ur dilhemma us girls can be quite understanding when it comes to issues of the heart if u trust her to keep the head and understand u it would probably be better off in the open. your only human and you have done nothing wrong exactly.

amnesia

Thanks enimen and earthman.:)

I hope these feelings dissapear pronto. What im afraid of is this friend is in our company a lot in our lives. She drops up to our house 2 or 3 times a week for a visit. We go out drinkint together. We go clubbing twice monthly together. Even after a hard nites clubbing the 3 of us fall into our bed and go asleep together. ( completely innocent ). So you see she is a big part of our lives and i love having her around.

If these feelings dont abade, i will probably have to end our friendship as it is too headwrecking to continue this way. This will cause a huge upset to me and my girlfriend as my bird loves her to bits and relies on her for advice on everything. It would hit me hard as well as i would sorely miss her and her humour. I would put her on par as my best mate. My bird would want to know why all this is happening and she would not take any old excuse. She is wise.

Your right earthman, she is not half as attractive as my girlfriend, but looks only account for so much in life.

My bird has always. Christ , that was lucky , my girlfriend came home suddenley and nearly caught me typing this.

As i was saying, my bird has always trusted our friend with me and even though some people say we would be more suited she has always stayed strong and loyal and never gets paranoid about how close the 2 of us our. ( Even though we do drugs on a recreational basis).

azezil

Picture your friend as a guy, is it an issue now?
I would think not, so why should it be just cause she happens to be female?

You've known her 7 years, hang out with her regularly, of course you'd feel you were loosing something dear to you if you had a bad argument you felt you might not be able to resolve.

Pay no heed to what 'other people' have said regarding who they think would make the better couple, you've been with your girlfriend 10 years!

This'll pass, don't think about it so much

amnesia

Made a decision. Agree with Indie, need to talk about it with her. Because i feel this is an important issue, i am thinking of her constantly and neglecting my bird. Headwreckuing **** after a weekend of clubbing.

hope she doesnt turn around and say that she has feelings for me. Be down the local pub for a few shots of tequila:rolleyes:

This girl is a level headed girl and we can sort it out between us if we talk about things. Means no more sleeping in the same bed but would do anything to be back to a few weeks ago , when we all were best friends.

dundalk cailin

the fact that you have been going out with gf so long, you are possibly wondering what it'd be like to be with someone new..i dont reckon this thing you feel for Girl2 is necessarily love but she is a close friend of yours and you love her as a friend, and maybe feel guilty as people have commented on the possibility of you two being an item, and the thought of not being around her jolted you into realising just how close you are.

amnesia

dundalk cailin wrote:

the fact that you have been going out with gf so long, you are possibly wondering what it'd be like to be with someone new..i dont reckon this thing you feel for Girl2 is necessarily love but she is a close friend of yours and you love her as a friend, and maybe feel guilty as people have commented on the possibility of you two being an item, and the thought of not being around her jolted you into realising just how close you are.

Never thought of that. Are u into psychology or something similar. Would not think of that angle. True, every man does think at some time about been with another women while in a long term relationship, but wish it was any other women but her.

WhiteWashMan

amnesia wrote:

Me and my girlfriend have been going out 10 years and are a happy couple. wWe have our domestics like anyone but we dont fight any more than any regular couiple.

The problem is my girlfriends best friend who is also a very good friend of mine. We have known this girl for 7 years and over the years has become a very close friend to both of us. She has been a rock to us over the years and has been there for my girlfriend and me when all sort of problems arise.

Recently we all had a big row and our friendship nearly finished. We salvaged it through talking to one another , but while we were arguing , the thought of losing her filled me with dismay. I only realised how close i am to this girl and feelings started to appear which made me question whether i feel more towards her than a friend. She is not a bad looking girl but hasnt a patch on my girlfriend. I never really looked at her with feelings of lust but we both have very similar personalities. Other friends of ours have commente
d that myself and her seem better paired than my girlfriend and i.

I dont know what to do. Should i talk to my friend about this and risk losing her as a friend, ( which i would hate to lose her ) Or will i leave well alone and hope these feelings subside. Its F***ing headwrecking me , i reckon she may sense something is wrong with me. The last thing i want to do is upset my girlfriend who is a very loving and loyal girlfriend.

It is possible to love 2 women in that way! Isnt it?

Thanks for reading.

i suspect that all the emotional turmoil that has gone out has brought you closer to this friend.
i dont think you love your girl any less, nor this friend any more, just that your perspective has shifted.

perhpas a good slap in the face and a cold shower would do you the world of good, and realign your perspective towards your girlfriend.

oh, and the fact youa re with someone else for 10 years, youre probably thinking about other things. youll get over it. i hope

dundalk cailin

amnesia wrote:

Never thought of that. Are u into psychology or something similar. .

no but i have been asked that before!
i guess i sometimes pick up on things people say.
hope it sorts itself out, keep us posted,
DC

Eminem

WhiteWashMan wrote:

i suspect that all the emotional turmoil that has gone out has brought you closer to this friend.
i dont think you love your girl any less, nor this friend any more, just that your perspective has shifted.

perhpas a good slap in the face and a cold shower would do you the world of good, and realign your perspective towards your girlfriend.

oh, and the fact youa re with someone else for 10 years, youre probably thinking about other things. youll get over it. i hope

I have to agree ten years is along time i hope you gey over this ting about your mate

amnesia

Eminem wrote:

I have to agree ten years is along time i hope you gey over this ting about your mate

True. we have been through a lot in 10 years and stayed together. Saw a lot of our friends over the years split up because of the clubbing scene and all that goes with it, yet we managed to survive. Love her to bits, and know that we are good and bad in some respects together. Very loyal bird , which i think is a rare trait in todays society.
Then theres all the **** about selling the gaff and fighting over all the posssessions. Major hassle.

No, will fight this feeling and as you have all said , it may subside. Too much to lose and as someone said situations like this end in disaster.

Have to say, this board is deadly. nice to get opinions from people you dont know and yet care about your particular crisis.

Eminem

amnesia wrote:

True. we have been through a lot in 10 years and stayed together. Saw a lot of our friends over the years split up because of the clubbing scene and all that goes with it, yet we managed to survive. Love her to bits, and know that we are good and bad in some respects together. Very loyal bird , which i think is a rare trait in todays society.
Then theres all the **** about selling the gaff and fighting over all the posssessions. Major hassle.

No, will fight this feeling and as you have all said , it may subside. Too much to lose and as someone said situations like this end in disaster.

Have to say, this board is deadly. nice to get opinions from people you dont know and yet care about your particular crisis.

I am a girl my self and if that was me and my best mate i would leave it be somethings are better on said i hope it all works out well for