Age Differences

helpme

Im a 21 year old man and have been told to be very goodlooking.

i always have girls coming up to me in pubs and clubs asking me out for drinks and stuff which is fine because im too shy to do it.

But every so often older girls comes up to me (24 - 29) and we gets to chattin and they ask me out for a drink and we exchange fone numbers and the connversation always arises with every girl nomatter what age. They always ask my age and i tell them and then they kinda shy off a bit.

some women go out for the drink and sometikmes we see each other for a while and sleep together.One or two have asked me not to say anything to anyone and wont leave my house until its dark and they cant be seen.

eg on recent times. saturday night a girl comes up and askes me if id be interested in goin out for a drink some time i sed sure. she was nice to talk to and geurgous aswell. at the end of the night when i finished work (dj-ing) she askes me over to her and askes for a lift home with her cousin. at this point she had already known my age (21) she being (24). so i dropped her and her cousin back to her house. the cousin got out of the car and we got to chatting and one thing lead to another and we kissed for a while. Best kiss ive had in a while i might add. so the next day i rang her and asked if she fancied going for that drink sometime and she explained that the age thing souldnt get to her but it does. so i said ok its up to you and we just chated for a minuted or 2 more and left it at that.

Now im very mature for my age and i hang around with an older crowd. so i dont think its a cases of maturity.

any idea on what it could be.

is is me or the girls?

lil-buttons

Its the girks defo the girls. Some girls have a thing about older guys. Or mayb the girls are lookin to settle down and think ur 2 young to. Its not u defo them by wat u say!

rainbow kirby

It probably is the girls... I'm 21 and tbh I'd prefer a guy 2-5 years older than someone my own age. There's a bit of a preconception that guys are immature for their age.

alfa147

Its the way it is man, im 25 and never score girls my own age. always 19-22

Girls the same age as me are boring and not as much fun as a younger girl, in saying that though ill prob be looking for a 25yr girl when im 30-32.:)

mickymg2003

Its the way things work in my experience women always go for the older guys.

constitutionus

gotta go with the consensus man, its the girls. they're just to stupid to see a good thing when they see one. they let all these little things get in the way of what could be an amazing relationship (and then they wonder WHY guys go for younger women when theyre 30:rolleyes: )

just avoid older women its just too much hassle to deal with all that immature nonsense. at the end of the day its their loss:)

I'm 20, and I'd be dubious about going out with a 21 year old. So I think I can see where they're coming from.
It's just them, don't worry.

lazydaisy

Its an issue for girls but not for women.

Gaillimhtaibhse

What did Harrison Ford (playing Indiana Jones) say when his young g/f asked about his age? "It's not the age, it's the mileage."

AngryBadger

keeper keeper keeper....maybe we should start issuing badges "Hi I'm a keeper" to clear up the apparent confusion? Wouldn't worry about it chief, if a woman is seeing someone younger than her at all she's afraid everyone will call her a "cradle snatcher". Nothing you can do about it, until you find the one that fits

Nickibaby*

I don't really think age matters well not a few years either way.

Having said that i've never gone out with a fella who is younger than me.....:rolleyes:

Lux23

Its the girls. I am 23 and I would be a bit wary of dating a 21 year old. You must be doing something right if girls are chatting you up anyway.

Riesen_Meal

Im 25, my missus is 27, age is only a number n all..........

On the other hand, my friend recently started seeing a 17 yr old and he is 24, I told him I didnt approve of that myself, but he's happy so I aint gonna knock him for finding some happiness, he's mad about her so i suppose thats all that matters isnt it?

grumpytrousers

alfa147 wrote:

Its the way it is man, im 25 and never score girls my own age. always 19-22

Girls the same age as me are boring and not as much fun as a younger girl, in saying that though ill prob be looking for a 25yr girl when im 30-32.:)

rule of thumb for guys - go for a gal half your age plus seven...

girls. Recoil in horror as you do the math in reverse...

Ickle Magoo

OP,

I think women prefer older men for several reasons - none of them are your fault....for some reason there is a certain amount of stigma attached to going out with a younger man....comments like "toy boy" & "Mrs Roinson" spring to mind.....

Older women may (wrongly, perhaps) assume that a young age equates to immaturity - they may get pictures of playstations, sexual inexperience, students out for a bit of fun, etc, etc - now, of course, that is a huge generalisation on their part.....

They may also wonder what a 21yr old could offer in a relationship compared with, say, a 29yr old man - some women would like their man to have a full-time job, a car, a house, etc, etc....they like the security that offers (of course this is also a huge generalisation & a 21yr old may be able to offer these too, I'm just trying to put myself in the shoes of these women that are out off by your age).....

I also think as most girls mature faster than most boys, we just get into the habit of dating men who are older than us....:rolleyes::o

py2006

Fieldog wrote:

Im 25, my missus is 27, age is only a number n all..........

I've never known a woman to go out with a guy younger than her! Its seems to be unusual in this country! Fair play to you!

Chestylarue

I'm 25 and recently the guys I have been seeing have been younger than me around 20 and 21. This is not down to choice that I go looking for someone younger it just seems that when I'm out there are no guys my age out.

I don't think its just the girls fault I think the problem with the age difference may come down to the girl having responsibilites such as mortgage, car, job, etc but to someone younger they won't be worried about these things.

Personally I don't think I could have a long term relationship with someone younger as I'd feel they'd end up resenting you for tying them down so young. (Maybe this is how the other girls feel?)

Morrigan

Ickle Magoo wrote:

OP,
Older women may (wrongly, perhaps) assume that a young age equates to immaturity - they may get pictures of playstations, sexual inexperience, students out for a bit of fun, etc, etc

My guy is 6 years younger than me and that's ^ what attracted me to him ...
My previous relationship was also with a younger guy... So girls can be attracted to younger guys - you just haven't met the right (i.e. open-minded, adventurous) kind of girl...
Or maybe it is you, OP. Is it only the older women who "asked me not to say anything to anyone and wont leave my house until its dark and they cant be seen" ?

py2006

I seem to get the eyes from older women! Usually women in their late 30's early 40's which totaly creeps me out!

I go for a the younger women myself, early to mid-twenties!

d-arke

In general I would say its the girls having the problem. I'm 23, and would find it hard to see an older gal. Although....

Though, my mate met his girlfriend at 22, now 25 and married to her.. oh yeah, and shes 40ish. So there are the odd exception.

Beruthiel

my b/f is 8 years younger than me
when you get to a certain age, it becomes just a number.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Girls definitely have a hang-up. I don't mind what age women are. Afterall age is a state of mind and not just a number.

That's my 2 cents.

BaZmO*

py2006 wrote:

I've never known a woman to go out with a guy younger than her! Its seems to be unusual in this country! Fair play to you!

You must've lived a sheltered life or are very young. I know loads of people that have gone out with older women. In fact, a couple of friends have married their older girlfriends. Having said that though, it's not the norm but it certainly does happen.

py2006

Eason Wonderful Rhinoceros wrote:

Girls definitely have a hang-up. I don't mind what age women are. Afterall age is a state of mind and not just a number.

That's my 2 cents.

Thats true, I am 28 but a really big kid at heart! Thats why I tend to be attracted to younger women!

d-arke

ah just thought of another. my friend is 24 and seeing a 22 year fella. they've been seeing each other now for about 3 years. though a couple of years isn't exactly a big age gap

Morrigan

Eason Wonderful Rhinoceros wrote:

Girls definitely have a hang-up.

I don't get it... reading back on this thread, and most of the guys are saying it'S the girls who have a problem but then say they prefer younger women, and most of the girls have said they're with or have been with younger guys...

py2006

Morrigan wrote:

I don't get it... reading back on this thread, and most of the guys are saying it'S the girls who have a problem but then say they prefer younger women, and most of the girls have said they're with or have been with younger guys...

I dont think the guys have a problem either way! They might prefer younger or older depending on themselves!

I think the point being made is that alot of women wouldn't go near a younger guy full stop!

At least thats how I am understanding it anyway!

Morrigan

py2006 wrote:

I dont think the guys have a problem either way! They might prefer younger or older depending on themselves!

I think the point being made is that alot of women wouldn't go near a younger guy full stop!

All the evidence points to the oppposite, it would seem to me...

um7y1h83ge06nx

Morrigan wrote:

I don't get it... reading back on this thread, and most of the guys are saying it'S the girls who have a problem but then say they prefer younger women, and most of the girls have said they're with or have been with younger guys...

It's seems strange alright. I was thinking before, i'm a 22 male, and over the years I have hooked up with with women 4 years younger than me to 12 years older (relative to my age at the time). And being honest, I prefer older women, they're more secure about themselves and relationships, and are generally more fun and easy going.

py2006

Yea, I was surprised at the amount of people who know women who are with younger men!

I don't know of any women who would! To me its always been a big "no, no" on their part!

I remember when I was at school all the girls were saying at the time that a guy must be at least 2 years older for them to go out with them!

Ickle Magoo

I think it also depends on how old you are and what the age gap is.....I don't think most women aged 28 would really think twice about dating a 26yr old, or 35yr old woman dating a 30yr old man....but I think you may be harder pushed to find a 28yr old woman that would date a 21yr old....

d-arke

My view is this, people want to see themselves involved with people in a similar age bracket:

18-25
25-30 / 25-35
30-40
40+

So a 28 year old girl will not want to date someone under 25. Maybe a one nighter etc, but never a relationship

Morrigan

Ickle Magoo wrote:

....but I think you may be harder pushed to find a 28yr old woman that would date a 21yr old....

You just found one...

Ickle Magoo

Morrigan wrote:

You just found one...

Hence why I used expressions like "most women" and "harder pushed to find" as opposed to "definately will not find".....

OK, we have already established that you have a penchent for the younger man....do you believe you are in a minority and if so, why do you think that is?.......It may help the OP with his original question....:)

py2006

Morrigan wrote:

You just found one...

Why that is just disgusting, you should be ashamed of yourself Preying on innocent little boys like that!

just kidding by the way! :rolleyes:

Morrigan

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Hence why I used expressions like "most women" and "harder pushed to find" as opposed to "definately will not find".....

OK, we have already established that you have a penchent for the younger man....do you believe you are in a minority and if so, why do you think that is?.......It may help the OP with his original question....:)

I suppose I'm hammering home the point because it's seems natural to me, and I don't think I'm in a minority.
The OP asked

"is is me or the girls?"

I'm not sure what he meant by this, actually... maybe he could clear that up... But in the mean time, OP, does your age come up early in conversation? Do you make an issue of it?
The best thing to do imo is not to tell the girl your age, and if they outright ask you "What age are you?" ask them "What does it matter?", or "Why do you care?". When they actually think about it they might realise they don't care, or at least they can voice there concerns - This'll give you a chance to give them the reasons why they shouldn't care...

Ickle Magoo

Morrigan wrote:

it's seems natural to me, and I don't think I'm in a minority

Of course it is natural, hope you didn't think I was insinuating otherwise - my point was that I thought that women who go out with younger men are in the minority - do you know more women that go out with younger men than with older? In my experience it is quite unusual - obviously not unheard of, nor is there anything wrong with it - but it is more unusual than women going out with men who are older than them.....:)

Morrigan

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Of course it is natural, hope you didn't think I was insinuating otherwise - my point was that I thought that women who go out with younger men are in the minority - do you know more women that go out with younger men than with older? In my experience it is quite unusual - obviously not unheard of, nor is there anything wrong with it - but it is more unusual than women going out with men who are older than them.....:)

Oh no, I didn't think you were insinuating anything - I used "natural" in the sense of "not particularly unusual". In Irish society, I supppose, it is considered more usual for the woman to be younger. In my personal eyperience, however, I would say roughly half of the couples I've known are older gal/younger guy (which makes it roughly half older guy/younger girl too ). So I don't think you would be hard pushed to find an guy going out with a girl who's older than him...

Ickle Magoo

Morrigan wrote:

Oh no, I didn't think you were insinuating anything - I used "natural" in the sense of "not particularly unusual". In Irish society, I supppose, it is considered more usual for the woman to be younger. In my personal eyperience, however, I would say roughly half of the couples I've known are older gal/younger guy (which makes it roughly half older guy/younger girl too ). So I don't think you would be hard pushed to find an guy going out with a girl who's older than him...

That would explain it, then I only know of a couple of couples where the guy is younger....do you mean lots of couples that are her 28+ & him 21-? That's the age gap I was referring to when I said hard pushed....sorry, I'm just being nosey now!

helpme

helpme wrote:

she had already known my age (21) she being (24). [snip]

so the next day i rang her and asked if she fancied going for that drink sometime and she explained that the age thing souldnt get to her but it does. so i said ok its up to you and we just chated for a minuted or 2 more and left it at that.

Now im very mature for my age and i hang around with an older crowd. so i dont think its a cases of maturity.

any idea on what it could be.

is is me or the girls?

Age thing 21 vs 24
Ah for fécks sake like-thats not an age gap
Anyway age gaps are over rated imho two people either like each other or they dont.
You've two options (1) chase-a good old fashioned chase-its possible she wants you to chase her.
or (2) say its her loss and think no more of it.

Morrigan

Ickle Magoo wrote:

....sorry, I'm just being nosey now!

Yes you are

Ickle Magoo

Morrigan wrote:

Yes you are

I am - I know a few couples with a couple of yrs between them but I don't know any with 9yrs + on the side of the woman.....hence my assumption that couples where she was older by that amount was fairly unusual - does anyone else know if this is a common occurance? Maybe it is just us & our wierd friends?

shakaman

I'm 25 and my girlfriend is 32, there are some issues on the horizon like marriage and kids which come up in debate but the age gap is definitely not a problem.

I think the fact that you are so young women may fear you're not interested in anything serious or may assume because of your age you're immature (I'm not saying you are I'm saying they may assume it), I know if I pulled a 21 yr old chick the age gap (in maturity not numbers) would be too big.

helpme

:rolleyes:

Lux23 wrote:

Its the girls. I am 23 and I would be a bit wary of dating a 21 year old. You must be doing something right if girls are chatting you up anyway.

:rolleyes:

Im just shy i think. im not the type of guy that gets drunk and chats up everyone woman in the place. maybe thats what they see in me

helpme

Morrigan wrote:

, OP. Is it only the older women who "asked me not to say anything to anyone and wont leave my house until its dark and they cant be seen" ?

yeap its just the older ones the ones my own age or younger have no probs at all

helpme

Ickle Magoo wrote:

I think it also depends on how old you are and what the age gap is.....I don't think most women aged 28 would really think twice about dating a 26yr old, or 35yr old woman dating a 30yr old man....but I think you may be harder pushed to find a 28yr old woman that would date a 21yr old....

i acctually dated a 28 year old when i ws 19 for 2 years she had 2 kids aswell. it was a great relationship

Ickle Magoo

helpme wrote:

i acctually dated a 28 year old when i ws 19 for 2 years she had 2 kids aswell. it was a great relationship

Again, I didn't rule it out - I just said it would be more unusual.....would you disagree with that, too? This is really interesting!

helpme

Morrigan wrote:

I suppose I'm hammering home the point because it's seems natural to me, and I don't think I'm in a minority.
The OP asked I'm not sure what he meant by this, actually... maybe he could clear that up... But in the mean time, OP, does your age come up early in conversation? Do you make an issue of it?
The best thing to do imo is not to tell the girl your age, and if they outright ask you "What age are you?" ask them "What does it matter?", or "Why do you care?". When they actually think about it they might realise they don't care, or at least they can voice there concerns - This'll give you a chance to give them the reasons why they shouldn't care...

"s it me or the girls " Ive just got a baby face is all sorry for not stating that


no the i dont bring the age up they ask land i tell them i wont lie about it nuthing to be ashamed off

Morrigan

helpme wrote:

no the i dont bring the age up they ask land i tell them i wont lie about it nuthing to be ashamed off

Oh, no, I definitely wouldn't lie about it if I were you. It is nothing to be ashamed of... And any women who are ashamed of being with you because of an age gap need to reassess their priorities...

Altheus

I dunno, I had several relationships with older women in the last few years. When I was 17, a 24 year old, 18, a 21 year old, then when I turned 19 I started going out with a 17 year old.

It's the girl though. I think there's definitely age gaps, and attitudes that women have.

I've found though it's more to do with attitude and peers than age. Sometimes it's about how young you look, or how old. The older girls I went out with did look the same age as me, so maybe that was a reflection on themselves. Vice versa, I've been told if I looked (not was) 5 years older, well, you get the idea.

lazydaisy

We're talking about dating right? Not marriage and babies and property?

Anything goes. There is no such thing anymore as unusual.

Experienced women do not care. In a worlld where its so hard to find someone you can stick with, age is at the bottom of the list when it comes to priorities.

The only thing that could possible emerge is this. As you get older you gain layers of experience and if your with someone considerably younger this can be lonely for you because how well you can relate is possibly limited.

Like any other relationship, of course viabilty has to play a factor.

Heres a very witty and obervant piece about women over 30. Written by Andy Rooney a television commentator in the US.

http://www.raih.com/stories/5/567.html