The double entendre thread

Mr.Nice Guy

I'd really like some pie right about now...

Capt'n Midnight

Mr.Nice Guy goes into bars asking barmen for a double entendre. And they often give him one.

hullaballoo

Wow, I'm glad I came across this thread.

Mr.Nice Guy

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

Mr.Nice Guy goes into bars asking barmen for a double entendre. And they often give him one.

Yep, and I feel guilty about receiving...

Earthhorse

Finally, a thread I can post on without having to beat around the bush.

Le Rack

what's a double ent... that thing?

_Kaiser_

Le Rack wrote:

what's a double ent... that thing?

somethin that has more than one meaning (most of em bold! )

Le Rack

oh I'm good at them!

"cold hard b!tch just a kiss on the lips and Iw as on my knees, I waited, forgive me"

Le Rack

think about it, god you are slow aren't you.

mike65

I think thats a single entrendre.

Mike.

skye

Can't beat a good stuffing though...

cil_aine

Get Stuffed!

skye

Maybe a sausage stuffing is in order

Le Rack

okay thats just bad

skye

Le Rack wrote:

okay thats just bad

Not a double entendre!!

Le Rack

skye wrote:

Not a double entendre!!

either is that...

Le Rack

fluffy buns are they?

skye

My baps are very soft...

county

skye wrote:

My baps are very soft...

and my stick is very firm

skye

Hit me with your rhythm stick, hit me, hit me...

_Kaiser_

classic tune

^^ not a entendre

Mr.Nice Guy

So many of you suck.

Le Rack

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

So many of you suck.

yeah maybe but not as much as you

Mr.Nice Guy

Le Rack wrote:

yeah maybe but not as much as you

/Goes off to bang head repeatedly

Scraggs

Willie Carson telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race:
"They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

Capt'n Midnight

skye wrote:

Hit me with your rhythm stick, hit me, hit me...

OT. If you're not careful you could get an injury :v:

Ruaidhri

this thread really gave me something to chew on.

sanncoo

One swallow doesn't make a summer

Ruaidhri

Two in the hand is worth one in the bush

Zillah

Le Rack wrote:

yeah maybe but not as much as you

As hard as you may try you just dont get it very often do you?

Capt'n Midnight

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Sexual_innuendo

Sexual innuendo
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Sexual innuendo (pronounced "in you' end, ho") is a hard topic to stay on top of. While there are no stiff rules as to what constitutes sexual innuendo, the general principles are firm and well-rounded. However, full penetration of the subject requires that the reader take a long, hard look at the target and have a strong and often cunning grasp of linguistic intercourse.

A common problem with sexual innuendo is the recipient being unable to put their hands around the intended meaning. In this case, an individual using sexual innuendo will often start slow and eventually build up, increasing depth more and more until the recipient feels the actual thrust of the point and the innuendo climaxes. Some skilled people are even able to use several sexual innuendos quickly in succession, resulting in multiple climaxes.

Although sexual innuendo requires masterful manipulation of parts of speech (and sometimes the skillful use of body language), for most people it comes quickly.


* 1 Origins
* 2 Examples of sexual innuendo
* 3 Sexual Innuendo in Literature
* 4 Innuendo in the word "innuendo"
* 5 See also
* 6 Also
* 7 External links


Origins

Originally created by authors as a way to firmly grab their readers' imaginations and caress them with a skilled artistic touch for maximum effect, skillful use of sexual innuendo has long since been erect in much of society. Since its conception, sexual innuendo has slowly and smoothly spread across much of the face of pop culture.

Examples of sexual innuendo

When engaging in supple art of sexual innuendo, one must avoid circumlocution in order to come across as logically stalwart and rigid.
While in the next example it's apparent the 1st individual isn't "with it" in his attempt to request sex:

Invididual 1: "Can I borrow your virginity?"
Individual 2: "You're a Dirty pervert!"

Even in text form, one can feel how the subtle implications roll rapidly off the tongue of the first speaker and into the receptive ears of the second, achieving a most desirable state of deep communication without an overage of sticky conversational fumbling, as well as eliciting the desired reaction.

Let's take a peek at another ripe, burgeoning example:

Individual 1: Bum!
Individual 2: Oh, what a giveaway!

Can you feel the resonance throbbing gently through this subtle discourse?

Sexual Innuendo in Literature

Perhaps one of the most adroit manipulations of the inherent suppleness of language can be found in the ever-honeyed realm of Romantic Poetry. Although different writers have their own, unique and often exotic techniques for engaging subtle sexual overtones (often heavily swayed by the pecadilloes of their cultures), the undisputed masters of both manual and oral tradition are the Japanese Haiku masters. The tight structure of traditional Haiku is quite restrictive and binding to long, drawn out notions of verbal foreplay, and yet through the delicate insertion of clever natural image, they are able to whet their readers' insatiable appetites for subjects often considered taboo.

Here, we see one of Basho's most spiritually arousing offerings. Pay close attention to the overflowing voluptuousness of the surging bucolic imagery that he employs to convey the delicate spice of his demure affection for his chaste mistress:

The surf on the rocks,
Gentle rain falls on cedars,
I will f*ck you raw.

I think we would all like to have this sort of beautiful sentiment inside us.

Haiku is not the only form of poetic expression so deeply soaked with sexual innuendo, list poetry can make even the most suggestive literature turn flaccid in fright.

F-orests are green,
U-nicorns are proud,
C-orn is golden,
K-orn is a crappy band,
M-eat is from animals,
E-at my dick, bitch.

Because of this poem's simplicity, it manages to slide itself into a niche of warm, phallic, poetic mastery.

Innuendo in the word "innuendo"

Some claim there is innuendo to be found in the word "innuendo," but they're just sick bastards with twisted and filthy minds.

"Innuendo? That's Italian for sex!"

~ Mark Twain on Sexual Innuendo

"In your 'Endo'"

~ Anonymous on Sexual Innuendo

"You leave my endo alone, man! I had to follow my dog around for three days with a baggie to get it back, man."

~ Tommy Chong on the Previous Quote


See also
* The Aristocrats

External links

www.PenIsland.net

Samhildanach

"Nobody tosses a dwarf!!"
"Go on .... toss me!"

homah_7ft

Lord of the rings

The Free Man

A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked
"So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?"

AdMMM

Quite frankly some of these efforts are terrible. May I suggest that some of you join me later in my room so I can teach you a firm lesson?

arbeitsscheuer

Will it be a hard one?

homah_7ft

It's surely going to be a stiff dressing down.