"Now that it's over, this weight is off my shoulder.."

Night_Rocker

She tells me her bag is packed
And that her ride's outside.
I stand up
And my knees feel weak
This is just another notch
To add to my terrible losing streak.

She lays down her key.
She won't need that anymore.
"I hope you choke and die.."
The radio tells her.
It tends to speak for me.

She's opening the door.
I stay rooted to the floor
And think of flinging her
From the seventh floor.

"**** you too.."
The radio tells her.
I hope she hears this.
Before she decided to leave
She cleaned the apartment.
"You misses a spot.."
I think to myself
"..You missed the pieces of my heart
That are strewn at your feet"

"Now that it's over
This weight is off my shoulder.."
The radio tells her.
I want to agree.
I guess I should move on.
But i'm finding it hard to think
Now that she's gone.

Yup.

TheVerBal1

nice message, the parts in italics were my favourites, I didnt like how U started with it, feel it could have simply been prose had U not hit return after every few words like, but U got deeper after a while... keep it up...

Night_Rocker

I didn't think i'd get replys for this cause it's so ****. It started out as me wanting to show crappy poem posters how easy making one could be done.

It's odd though, every poem I've written has been about breaking up or somethin along those lines, yet I've only ever been through one break up, and i was glad when it ended.

Yup.

ctrl-alt-delete

the bitsd in italics obviously are not your own? they are lyrics are they? i think it is complete crap and anyone serious about poetry could see that straight away.

Night_Rocker

Hehehehehe. That's true. But i also refer to my previous statement, you **** tard.

gracehopper

Lover you should have come over - Jeff Buckley???
Thats what the italics are like

Night_Rocker

Actually it's: Brand New - 'Seventy Times Seven', Ben Folds - 'Song for the Dumped' and Death From Above 1979 - 'You're a Woman, I'm a Machine'.

How is it like Lover you should've come over?