So you wanna be a backpacker?

Ay Cee · 01-02-2006 9:30am #1

This is a good laugh.

So, you want to be a backpacker......
Note 2 all who read, if you know me (and none of you do) you will find just as much humor/pleasure in reading this as i did.

this was found in a secret time capsule from the future.... it was written by an Asian kid in the suburbs.

So you wake up one day and realize your taste in music sucks. And obviously, that means you suck as well. You're tired, frustrated, hopelessly unhip, and you're very sick of your Winamp playlist. But wait...... before you pull that trigger, consider this.

You need hip hop and you need it fast.

For your sake, I've set up a "How to be a backpacker" kit that's so easy, virtually anybody can do it. Don't worry. You'll be in touch with the little b-boy inside of you in no time. After this kit, you'll be keeping it so real that only other backpackers will understand a word you spit. So what are we waiting for? Let's begin.

A good backpacker is neck deep in underground hip hop records. Here's some to get you started:

Aceyalone - Accepted Eclectic ( note: if you are indeed tryin to be a backpacker... All Balls dont bounce and The Book of Human Language are WAY tha better )
Mystik Journeymen - Black Sands ov Eternia
Cannibal Ox - The Cold Vein
Anticon - Music for the Advancement of Hip Hop
Quasimoto - The Unseen
Atmosphere - Overcast
7l & Esoteric - The Soul Purpose

Start with these. Then supplement with some Aesop Rock, Buck 65, Solesides, Mr. Lif, and perhaps even a little Planet Asia. Throw in some a Kool Keith record for good measure and you're set.

Frat boys are starting to claim they're about the "real" hip hop.

Show them who's boss by flaunting your superior tastes while STILL listening to all of their . Here's some of their favorites:
Jurassic 5 - Quality Control
Deltron 3030 (anything by Del)
The Roots - Things Fall Apart ( Note: great cd )
Mos Def - Black on Both Sides ( Note: great cd )
Common - Like Water for Chocolate
Dilated Peoples - The Platform LP
Reflection Eternal - Train of Thought
Method Man / Redman - Blackout

Bonus Credit: Try obtaining some tapes of local artists nobody knows about. This will be your secret weapon.So now you've got your base.

But you still look like a little new-jack. Pick up some certified hip hop classics to boost your credibility.

People will think you've been in the game for years.
Backpacker approved classics:
Nas - Illmatic
Company Flow - Funcrusher Plus
Wu Tang Clan - Enter the 36 Chambers
De la Soul - 3 Feet High and Rising
A Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory
Pete Rock / CL Smooth - Mecca and the Soul Brother
Jeru tha Damaja - The Sun Rises in the East
Freestyle Fellowship - To Whom it May Concern
Gang Starr - Daily Operation

Feeling brave? If you're ambitious, you can take things even further. Convince 'em you were there in the beginning with these:
BDP - Criminal Minded
Public Enemy - It'll Take a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back
NWA - Straight Outta Compton
Ultramagnetic MCs - Critical Beatdown
Run DMC - Raising Hell
Eric B. & Rakim - Paid in Full

Bonus Credit: Tell people you're from the Bronx.

Tell them about Kool Herc, Bambataa, and Flash.

You were there.

Make them believe it.(Know your elements)

There are a few more things you must learn before you blossom into a backpacker. Without delay, here you have it:
- If anybody asks, your favorite producers are Primo, Pete Rock, Automator, Prince Paul, and the RZA (but emphasize that you only like pre-Wu-tang-Forever RZA).

- You must learn to speak like a backpacker. Pepper your language with "knowmsayin" and refer to as many things as possible as "". You'll have to be patient. Try recording your voice and comparing it to some Busta Rhymes skits.
Practice makes perfect.- Wear T-shirts, hooded sweatshirts, baggy jeans (not too baggy. you do not want to crossover into raver pants territory), and lots of hats and visors.

Walk with a slight limp and never smile.
- Have diversity on your side. Backpackers get eclectic with Portishead, Esthero, Radiohead, DJ Shadow, and Amon Tobin. You can say your girl/boyfriend got you into it. (Note: portishead cracks )

- You must like at least one Jay-Z album. It is a backpacker's obligation. This will save your when people claim you are an elitist snob.

- Smoke lots of weed.

So there you have it. It's really much easier than it sounds. If it helps, try setting a few hours aside each day to practice hip hop.

Refer to UndergroundHipHop.com and read Ego Trip's Book of Rap Lists.

Go to shows, write some lyrics, learn to beatbox, get some 1200s.

Learn about the elements and assimilate yourself into them.

Quiz your friends and laugh at their ignorance. Confidence won't be so slippery much longer.

Remember... hip hop is a way of life, and now you've got the shortcuts.If you need further assistance... try to Discover Hip hop.Ok!

You're welcome.Good luck everybody!