Remake Hell Coming to Screen Near You

mike65

Read this and weep -

The 39 Steps

The Abominable Snowman

Adventures in Babysitting

All of Me

All the King's Men

Angel on My Shoulder

Back to School

Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

Billy Jack

The Birds

Black Christmas

The Black Lagoon

The Blob

Bride of Frankenstein

Bunny Lake is Missing

Cabaret

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

Casino Royale

Chaos

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

The Crazies

Creature from the Black Lagoon

Creepshow

Cries in the Night

Curious George

Death Race 3000

Don't Look Now

Easy Rider

Eight Below

Elling

Evil Dead

Experiment in Terror

Fahrenheit 451

Family Jewels

Flash Gordon

The Flash

The Fly

Footloose

Foxy Brown

Friday the 13th

Genevieve II

The Green Hornet

The Grudge 2

Gunga Din

Hairspray

Halloween

He-Man

The Hills Have Eyes

The Hitcher

I Dream of Jeannie

I Love You Again

The Incredible Shrinking Man

Invasion

Iron Man

It Should Happen to You

It's Alive

Journey to the Center of the Earth

The Lake House

Land of the Lost

Last Holiday

The Last Unicorn

The Lavender Hill Mob

Love at Second Bite

Macbeth

Mary Poppins

Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House

The Munsters

My Friend Flicka

My Sassy Girl

The Night of the Iguana

The Omen

Pet Sematary

The Phantasm

The Pink Panther

Piranha

Porky's

Poseidon

The Predator

Prom Night

The Psychic

Pulse

Race With the Devil

Revenge of the Nerds

Robocop

Safety Last!

Seconds

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

The Set-Up

The Shaggy Dog

Sisters

The Six Million Dollar Man

The Smurfs

The Star Chamber

Strangers

The Sugarland Express

Summer School

Superman Returns

Sweeney Todd

The Swiss Family Robinson

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Terror Train

The Man Who Fell To Earth

The Three Stooges

The Tingler

The Toy

Tron

Vanishing Point

War of the Roses

The Warriors

When Worlds Collide

When a Stranger Calls

The Wicker Man

The Wild Bunch

Wonder Woman

Yours, Mine and Ours

I've highlighted what I feel to be the greatest likely insults.

All of these due in the next 2-3 years, some of them are actually sequels but proberly will be in effect remakes of the first. A few will proberly be better esp where modern FX can make colliding worlds more belivable but on the whole either the films listed wont gain anything or they are just not worth remaking anyway (Terror Train????). The few exceptions were bad adaptions in the first place ie Casino Royale.

Everyone of these films has robbed somone of the chance to film an original screenplay, proberly on a smaller budget.

Mike.

Karl Hungus

...urge to kill... ...rising...

Earthhorse

I'm not sure why you've highlighted Macbeth. Surely the works of Shakespeare are deep enough that adaptions for the screen can be significantly different from their predecessors?

Maybe you think the definitive film version has already been made but that's not to say a worthwhile film won't come of a remake.

monkeyfudge

Earthhorse wrote:

I'm not sure why you've highlighted Macbeth. Surely the works of Shakespeare are deep enough that adaptions for the screen can be significantly different from their predecessors?

Maybe you think the definitive film version has already been made but that's not to say a worthwhile film won't come of a remake.

I can't see anything ever beating Polanski's version.

Earthhorse

Really? I remember watching it in school and thinking it was fairly weak.

Blisterman

A Porky's remake could be good.

TerrorFirmer

Earthhorse wrote:

Really? I remember watching it in school and thinking it was fairly weak.

I thought Polanskis version was actually great. I remember watching it in school, the teachers were somewhat shocked at the violence which I don't think they were expecting

Some of those films on the list are, agreed, being insulted by being remade.

Others though could be great.

Karl Hungus

Personally, I think this is the best version of Macbeth.

monkeyfudge

MobileInfantry wrote:

I thought Polanskis version was actually great. I remember watching it in school, the teachers were somewhat shocked at the violence which I don't think they were expecting

Lets not forget Francesca Annis getting her kit off.

I also love the fact that Hugh Hefner produced it.

EDIT: I was just looking up some of the Trivia for it on IMDb... I love this one:

When crew members suggested to Polanski that perhaps the film was too unrealistically gory for its own good, Polanski reportedly replied, "I know violence. You should've seen my house last summer."

Earthhorse

monkeyfudge wrote:

Lets not forget Francesca Annis getting her kit off.

Ah, I didn't say it was all bad!

Karl Hungus wrote:

Personally, I think this is the best version of Macbeth.

Is there a Klingon version?

Karl Hungus

Earthhorse wrote:

Is there a Klingon version?

taH pagh, taH be?

monkeyfudge

Well, you haven't experienced Shakespeare until you've heard it in it's original Klingon.

CerebralCortex

It's spelt p r o b a b l y.

TerrorFirmer

Karl Hungus wrote:

Personally, I think this is the best version of Macbeth.

Interesting that, I've never seen it myself I must say, but I've been meaning too after my father was raving about it one day....:D

ObeyGiant

mike65 wrote:

Everyone of these films has robbed somone of the chance to film an original screenplay, proberly on a smaller budget.

Well, no. This has been argued before. And it was just as much a fallacy then as it is now.

The economics of Hollywood means that the studios can offset the cost of smaller-budget, smaller-scale films against the profits of their large-budget big 'draws' (like a remake of the Six Million Dollar Man).

Hugh Hefner

monkeyfudge wrote:

I also love the fact that Hugh Hefner produced it.

Yes, that was an especially nice project of mine.



I don't really care about remaking Macbeth. It's not like their remaking another film, but the play. Macbeth has been done so many times that what would one more hurt? Frankly I say all Shakepeare plays are fair games for film.

P.S.O.: Romeo + Juliet and Kenneth Brannagh's Hamlet are both very good.

mike65 wrote:

Black Christmas

Hmmm... I want to see that, even though I know they'll rape it.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

Damn. And yet I'm curious.

The Fly

You mother****ers!

Friday the 13th

**** sniffers!

Footloose

I say leave it be.

Halloween

Right, I'm gonna start hunting people down!

The Omen

I already knew about this, and still I weep.

Revenge of the Nerds

Sexcellent.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Hee hee, me likey.

lodgepole

A lot of people have been complaining (on the interweb) about the remake of Black Christmas... I thought the original was really over rated. To be completely honest, I thought it was piss poor. A product of it's time maybe, but if ever a film needed a remake, Black Christmas is it.

vannistelrooy10

sigh, well the warriors will be destroyed as mtv are making it so i will expect hard ass rappers doin drive by etc with the acting ability of fiftay, and the usual rap crap that is in the world at the mo i hate them for ruining one of the best films ever made

The Black Oil

Going by the trailer for The Pink Panther it looks absolutely dire.
The Birds, Jesus Christ.
The Omen, leave it alone.

Dont be at yourself

ObeyGiant wrote:

Well, no. This has been argued before. And it was just as much a fallacy then as it is now.

The economics of Hollywood means that the studios can offset the cost of smaller-budget, smaller-scale films against the profits of their large-budget big 'draws' (like a remake of the Six Million Dollar Man).

Yes, listen to this man!

Karl Hungus

ObeyGiant wrote:

Well, no. This has been argued before. And it was just as much a fallacy then as it is now.

The economics of Hollywood means that the studios can offset the cost of smaller-budget, smaller-scale films against the profits of their large-budget big 'draws' (like a remake of the Six Million Dollar Man).

That's assuming that hollywood doesn't pipeline the money straight into another remake.

BlitzKrieg

They can go f*ck themselves if they think they can tar the quality of Peckinpah's Wild Bunch with a f*ckin remake. B*sterds!


at least they wont touch Iron Cross.

Karl Hungus

BlitzKrieg wrote:

at least they wont touch Iron Cross.

Cross Of Iron?

And frankly, I wouldn't put it past them. With Owen Wilson in the lead role.

BlitzKrieg

cross of iron yeah *doh!*

satchmo

Robocop? Predator?

Say it ain't so...

Fysh

mike65 wrote:

The Birds
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
Death Race 3000
Evil Dead
The Fly
Friday the 13th
Halloween
Iron Man
The Omen
The Phantasm
The Predator
Robocop
Tron
The Wicker Man

The above are the ones that I'd be potentially interested in (and more than likely disappointed by, if recent remake trends are anything to go by.

I'm genuinely curious to see how the Caligari remake is going to be done as the original is pretty much my favourite film; but what was an impressive set design and innovative use of technique (not to mention groundbreaking plot at the time) is going to be very hard to update effectively now, and I'm not convinced it'll work as a remake purely due to the number of recent horror/thriller films that have had similar notions at their core.

Death Race 3000....assuming this is a remake of the crappy 1975 Stallone film, I'd be surprised if they could actually make the remake any worse than the original. Hell, we've had Carmaggeddon since then - maybe the remake will be as much fun as the (first) game.

I'm wondering about the Evil Dead remake since I heard the rumours a while back, particularly relating to the absence of The Chin, without which it basically won't be an Evil Dead movie. Not to mention that Evil Dead 2 was in part a remake of the first one anyway...I've not been a fan of Raimi's recent output so I may just ignore this.

The Fly...urgh. Can't see it being anywhere near the original, but I'd love to be proven wrong.

Friday the 13th/Halloween - loved both the first parts, was mostly bored by the sequels. Do we really need either further sequels or a series "restart" or whatever? No, but then again they're very succesful horror franchises with a built-in market. Feh.

By Iron Man I take it you mean this - not actually a remake afaik; could potentially be good as Marvel have reclaimed the rights for the film themselves instead of selling the rights to another studio. There's potential for this to be good, but I won't hold my breath given that they were seriously considering Leonardo Di Caprio for the role last time I checked...(and as a sometime fan of the comic, I can say that Leo would be marginally worse as Iron Man than Peter Griffin would be as Spiderman).

The Omen - Suspect it'll be crap, particularly given the need they felt to add "666" to the name in case potential viewers didn't realise that the plot revolves around, you know, Satan and stuff. Oh well.

The Phantasm - New Line are looking to redo the series as a trilogy, depending on the success of the first one. Having loved the original series of films, I'm wary. They've got Angus Scrimm on board according to this, but I suspect New Line will botch things up somehow in an attempt to make this appeal to the moron demographic. (Yes, I know that sounds elitist. I don't care. I'm tired of being fed "horror" films from Hollywood where the scares amount to audiovisual shocks rather than the careful buildup of tension through actual talented direction and acting.)

Predator/Robocop - Not really sure either of these needs to be remade, but what the hell. As long as they don't make a complete balls of it, they might even be fun. (And, being serious, much as I enjoyed the original Predator, it's not exactly a pinnacle of modern cinema).

Tron - not exactly sure what the point is with this, having just watched the original the other day. The story's way out of date, the CGI that the original showcased has evolved in leaps and bounds and will no longer serve to impress people, and the idea of people going into virtual worlds to do with evil computers will still remind people of The Matrix if this goes ahead. Oh well.

The Wicker Man - stumbled across this info earlier today while discussing my disgust at the Omen remake. The notion of the film being remade is already a bit annoying, though as with any remake the right cast & crew might do something impressive with it. Then I saw here that Nick Cage is set to play Edward Woodward's role. Guess I won't be checking that out, anyway...

monkeyfudge

Fysh wrote:

The Fly...urgh. Can't see it being anywhere near the original, but I'd love to be proven wrong.

Do you mean the original with Vincent Price or the remake with Jeff Goldblum?

I've always felt both were very good in their own ways. Although strangely I find the original more disturbing than Cronenberg's version.

Both had piss-poor sequels though.

Karl Hungus wrote:

Cross Of Iron?

And frankly, I wouldn't put it past them. With Owen Wilson in the lead role.

haha.. that's a recipe for box office gold right there!

Fysh

monkeyfudge wrote:

Do you mean the original with Vincent Price or the remake with Jeff Goldblum?

I've always felt both were very good in their own ways. Although strangely I find the original more disturbing than Cronenberg's version.

Both had piss-poor sequels though.

Heh, caught me. Was thinking of the Cronenberg version - I've been told it's a remake but keep forgetting as I've yet to get around to watching the Vincent Price edition. (Same thing happens with Carpenter's The Thing, and for the same reason...) I steered clear of the sequel as I was warned away...

Karl Hungus

I just put up an entry on remakes in my blog, if anyone is interested.

ObeyGiant

Karl Hungus wrote:

That's assuming that hollywood doesn't pipeline the money straight into another remake.

No offense, but that statement is slightly redundant. Of course a significant portion of the profits of one blockbuster/remake (aren't they just becoming the same thing now?) will be channelled into making another one. I mean, movie studios are in the business of making money and they'd be fools if they didn't try to sustain themselves, right? But the undeniable truth is that even films by "popular" directors, like Woody Allen for example, have trouble making their money back and if it wasn't for the profits generated by their 'big' films, studios just couldn't afford to take the risk.

Besides, for all of this talk of Hollywood running out of ideas or not taking chances on movies, we've still got one thing that proves this isn't true: Snakes on a motherfuckin' Plane!

madrab

ObeyGiant wrote:

No offense, but that statement is slightly redundant. Of course a significant portion of the profits of one blockbuster/remake (aren't they just becoming the same thing now?) will be channelled into making another one. I mean, movie studios are in the business of making money and they'd be fools if they didn't try to sustain themselves, right? But the undeniable truth is that even films by "popular" directors, like Woody Allen for example, have trouble making their money back and if it wasn't for the profits generated by their 'big' films, studios just couldn't afford to take the risk.

Besides, for all of this talk of Hollywood running out of ideas or not taking chances on movies, we've still got one thing that proves this isn't true: Snakes on a motherfuckin' Plane!

sounds interesting but it can in no way be better than this

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0412523/

Dragan

"The Cabinet of Dr Caligari" is the one that is upsetting me most. Great film and you know they will miss the whole point of it.

RichyX

The sadest one for me is Robocop.

How the f*ck are they going to redesigned him and put together a film with an ounce of the greatness the original had?

mike65

What beats me is the fact so many proposed remakes are of films that are 20-25 years old. Like we've forgotten them already. I'm sure the Dirty Harry remake can only be a year or two away....

Mike.

madrab

or a matrix remake

monkeyfudge

madrab wrote:

or a matrix remake

Yep. They should remake the original so that it's as crap as the sequels.

Necronomicon

mike65 wrote:

Evil Dead

This was Sam Raimi's own idea, going by an interview I read. He was so impressed with Zack Snyder's adaption of Dawn Of The Dead that he would be intrigued to see something similar done to Evil Dead.
Seeing someone else play Ash would be so, so wrong

Crash

The caligari one bemuses me. i have absolutely no idea how the hell that'd work.

odds are for that it'll either get trashed in pre-production or become some completely bizarre movie where the trailer shows a twisted door with a gangly figure silhouetted against it while the voiceover guy reads "welcome to the cabinet...Of DR. CALIGARI..." and i vomit in the aisles.

oh well.

ixoy

Not to try and lower the tone too much, but I just watched an episode of "The O.C." and, although a joke in the show, it's all too probably prophetic of what all these remakes are going to do:

Character #1: He'll be all lonely, just like Charlton Heston in "Planet of the Apes."
Character #2: Umm I think that was Mark Wahlberg!

It's the future isn't it ?

Karl Hungus

ObeyGiant wrote:

Besides, for all of this talk of Hollywood running out of ideas or not taking chances on movies, we've still got one thing that proves this isn't true: Snakes on a mother****in' Plane!

Well, that'd be the exception then wouldn't it? Still, I'm going to see that!.It's absurd enough to be brilliant, and it's got Samuel L. Jackson! It can't lose! :v:

Crash

Hahah excellent - i'd kinda assumed it'd been scrapped cus i hadnt hurt anything else about it - SNAKES ON A PLANE!

Dragan

The has been talk of Nicholas Cage in a remake of the Wicker Man for a while now also.

madrab

Necromomicon wrote:

This was Sam Raimi's own idea, going by an interview I read. He was so impressed with Zack Snyder's adaption of Dawn Of The Dead that he would be intrigued to see something similar done to Evil Dead.
Seeing someone else play Ash would be so, so wrong

although ryan reynolds could make a passable attempt at ash

humanji

Just found out they're planning a remake of Gaslight!