Nominations are now open! (AKA Again it Begins 2006...)

Indeed, if you're thinking about going for a sabbatical position in the Students' Union, you can fill out a form here.

All you have to do then is drop it back to House 6, in the general office as you enter on the left.

***CLOSING DATE FOR NOMINATIONS IS 5PM ON TUESDAY THE 31ST***

So eh, come one, come all. Anyone willing to put their money where their mouth is yet? Apart from Neil who is going for President, of course. All hail Neil, our future benevolent dictator...

Oh, and if anyone wants to know what the Educat(ion) position entails, you can drop up to me, or e-mail me (education@tcdsu.org).

Time Magazine

The unconclusive, not fully accurate, rumour mill:

President: John "Big Dick[head]" McGuirk, David "Dickhead" Quinn.
Dep Pres: Ronán Mistéil
Education: William "Needle Dick" O'Coill, Cormac Quigley
Welfare: William "Needle Dick" O'Coill, Joe Delaney
Ents: A Senior Fresh BESS-boy who's also a member of boards.ie. .

Crash

Hahah Cormac's not going for education you tit

could you imagine me as pres? i'd spend all the cash on hookers - remember kids, you can only get impeached once

Time Magazine

Me wrote:

not fully accurate

He told me he was running. Yep, you heard it here first!

Crash

Eh, I somehow doubt it. i would be terribly hurt if one of my best mates told you before me - so if he is i'm gonna kick his ass

Time Magazine

He's my best mate.*

He told me today. He said he wanted everyone to know he was running for Welfare and Education. I don't know why he was laughing when he said it though.

*May be complete bull****.

Hitchhiker's Guide to...

wow, is it really that time of year again... poor choices for president...

Pythia

Go team Atari-Jaguar

Agent Smith

Kapper in the charter wrote:

1. Advertising

- Commercial advertising is strictly prohibited.
- SU election advertising is also strictly prohibited (referenda topics are okay).
- Regulation of the all other non-Commercial advertising shall be at the discretion of the moderators.

Thank you

Crash

Joe, you're not even ****ing running. you're getting kicks out of people thinking you're running. no one ****ing cares.

Plunky

Isn't good ole RON an option in sabbat elections?.. Think he'll be my man based on rumours!

cuckoo

Plunky wrote:

Isn't good ole RON an option in sabbat elections?.. Think he'll be my man based on rumours!

RON has some sterling qualities, discretion for one; but as a candidate it has to be said, RON lacks a certain 'presence'.

Crash

I've been tempted to change my name on the books to RON - wonder if i'd get many votes...

Hitchhiker's Guide to...

we need to get Indy back into college for a month or so - he claims to have run some classic RON campaigns in his time!

Boston

Wheres Shane O'Brien on that list

Ron DMC

LiouVille wrote:

Wheres Shane O'Brien on that list

Everywhere.

Pet

This thread stinks of hack. I suggest we quarantine patient zero (ie Enda).

Nietzschean

I concur, hackism n talking about hackism stuff the rest of us couldn't give a ****e about is boring...

Ideo

i beleive there was a coup last night? any one hear anything? know what it is about?

Ron DMC

a coup? not that i noticed, unless you count gary's futile attempt to slander our benevolent chair.

Andrew 83

cuckoo wrote:

RON has some sterling qualities, discretion for one; but as a candidate it has to be said, RON lacks a certain 'presence'.

Ron Burgundy lacks presence?!



Vote Ron

Agent Smith

what a deadly Idea!


100 "vote ron" posters!

Andrew 83

Given the turnout for the table quiz in the Buttery last night I wouldn't think he'll be short of supporters.

foxybrowne

Dead Soviet Dictator, Iosif Vissarionovich Stalin, Uncle Joe to his friends, revealed his intentions last night to stand for SU President.
"I hope to make my mark," explained Stalin (128), "I have a great vision for the Students of Trinity College, and I intend to realise that vision without delay" The ex-Soviet Premier told the Trinity Record of his plans late on Wednesday morning, as he left his favorite watering hole, Grogans.
"Tovarishch Hegarty thinks he can push Trinity Students around, but I'll show him," Joe (1879), spoke of his desire to unite the students behind him in a newfound sense of purpose.
"We must work together to build the union," Stalin continued, "and to do this, I intend to consolidate near-absolute power with a Great Purge." In a Trinity Record exclusive, the Father of Nations told of his plans to turn the Arts Block into a Gulag, saying the building was ideal, due to its current similarity to a forced labor camp.
"It will not cost too much, all I will need is to remove the few windows and bobs your uncle"
Students in Ireland's most exclusive and highly regarded university, UCD, expressed concern at this news.
"Jaysus", one student said.
"The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything." On this ominous note, Stalin (TIME Man of the Year 1939 & 1942), knocked back his bottle of Smirnoff and made for Rí-Rá.

In other news, the chair of the TCDSU electoral commision is still believed to be missing. Until then, the vice-chair, Nikolai Molotov, has assured Pravda (formerly Trinity Record) that things will be taken care of.

foxybrowne

foxybrowne wrote:

Dead Soviet Dictator, Iosif Vissarionovich Stalin, Uncle Joe to his friends, revealed his intentions last night to stand for SU President.
"I hope to make my mark," explained Stalin (128), "I have a great vision for the Students of Trinity College, and I intend to realise that vision without delay" The ex-Soviet Premier told the Trinity Record of his plans late on Wednesday morning, as he left his favorite watering hole, Grogans.
"Tovarishch Hegarty thinks he can push Trinity Students around, but I'll show him," Joe (1879), spoke of his desire to unite the students behind him in a newfound sense of purpose.
"We must work together to build the union," Stalin continued, "and to do this, I intend to consolidate near-absolute power with a Great Purge." In a Trinity Record exclusive, the Father of Nations told of his plans to turn the Arts Block into a Gulag, saying the building was ideal, due to its current similarity to a forced labor camp.
"It will not cost too much, all I will need is to remove the few windows and bobs your uncle"
Students in Ireland's most exclusive and highly regarded university, UCD, expressed concern at this news.
"Jaysus", one student said.
"The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything." On this ominous note, Stalin (TIME Man of the Year 1939 & 1942), knocked back his bottle of Smirnoff and made for Rí-Rá.

In other news, the chair of the TCDSU electoral commision is still believed to be missing. Until then, the vice-chair, Nikolai Molotov, has assured Pravda (formerly Trinity Record) that things will be taken care of.

Its been 3 days since the last post. Foxy, you killed the thread.

ilovemybrick

EduMyth wrote:

Its been 3 days since the last post. Foxy, you killed the thread.

so now we kill foxy. with hounds.

gom

Where is the choice?

I demand to be given the choice of a candidate who even knows what a SU is ment to do.

I'd run but want to finish college sometime soon.

gom

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "F**king."

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.

In the movie “Back to the Future” they used Chuck Norris' Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later was the cause of his Parkinson's disease.

Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.

Chuck Norris can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select, Start using only his erection.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fu*k down.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's sh*t.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris puts the m's on M&Ms.

Chuck Norris was a hidden playable character on Mortal Kombat 2 on the Sega Genesis.

Chuck Norris is known for his modesty but readily admits that he is the 8th wonder of the natural world

Chuck Norris goes to the toilet once a month, if he needs to or not.

Chuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with water.

There are in fact 31 letters of the English Alphabet however only Chuck Norris knows what the extra 5 letters are.

Occasionally Chuck Norris will call up the Power Rangers just to say hi.

Chuck Norris has no concept of time, if you go to his house you won't find a single clock. When you ask to leave because it's getting late he stares at you blankly until you sit back down.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris once ate a banana without having to peel it.

Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris' house is a Total Gym

In a recent interview, Chuck Norris told Entertainment Tonight co-host Mary Hart that his most memorable role was when he played the third breast on the hooker in "Total Recall".

Chuck Norris once did a back flip off the Great Wall of China.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

Chuck Norris caught all 386 pokemon in just under 2.7 seconds. He says he won't trade any of them for anything.

In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.

Chuck Norris broke his own leg, purely for the sake of winning the paralympics.

Chuck Norris will never fully be male nor female. Doctors once asked him which he preferred. He gave them an ad for a Total Gym.

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the sh*t out of little kids.

Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you look in a mirror and say "Chuck Norris" three times, he will appear and kill your entire family... but at least you get to see Chuck Norris.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a Indian.

Chuck Norris was the original Danny Tanner on the hit family sitcom, "Full House". He was replaced by Bob Saget after an unfortunate incident with one of the Olsen triplets.

When Chuck Norris was driving he saw a sign that said, "Caution: Small Children Playing." So he slowed down, but then it occurred to him: Chuck Norris isn't afraid of small children.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fu*k down.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.

Chuck Norris invented cancer because he was tired of killing people

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas

A Chevy truck was totalled in a car accident. It hit black ice, then hit Chuck Norris. You tell me what did the damage.

Everytime Chuck Norris hears the term ‘Virgin’ Mary he laughs out loud…

It used to be called the Tower of Pisa…until Chuck Norris decided to roundhouse kick the sh*t out of it

Chuck Norris kills 14 white people at the end of every week just to prove he isn’t racist.

gom

Chuck Norris does not have your normal human-style, male nipples. He has a Dodge Ram hood ornament on each pec, and both rams blow smoke out of their noses each and every time he pumps Christy Brinkley.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f*ck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living sh*t out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the sh*t out of little kids.

Chuck Norris once shot down a luftwaffe plane by pointing his finger and saying "bang"

One day Chuck Norris looked in the mirror and said "No one outstares Chuck!" He is still there to this day.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

Chuck Norris only masterbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany

Agent Smith

the chuck norris Jokes wernt funny the first time i read them.....





they aren't funny now

Chardee MacDennis

only people who dont appreciate the legend that is chuck norris dont find them funny. oh and AS just has no sense of humour...

next you'll be saying The Hoff isnt a legend

gom

agent smith wrote:

the chuck norris Jokes wernt funny the first time i read them.....





they aren't funny now

There is a TCD student by the name Chuck Norris. The only problem is he is post-grad now

Agent Smith

Aparently the Hoff is coming to Bondi beech club....


aparently

gom

While I would definitely consider the Hoff, Mr T, Macgyver or even Chuck Norris is better candidates for teh top job lets get back to the topic at hand.

The Union this year has lacked in campaigns, visibility, accounability, effectiveness, leadership and direction. How are any of the above even going to come remotely close to leading TCDSU back to the body which it should be. A strong organisation that campaigns and works for the best interests of the student body and not their political beliefs or career prospects.

I asked John McGurk what his prime reason for running was and I was shocked with his honesty.... To put it on his CV???
Surely that would work against him in his cherished Freedom Institute?

Chardee MacDennis

I would argue that if someone is using the position for just putting on their cv then they will want to do the best job possible, no? so therefore their best interests and the best interests of the SU would be one in the same? am i making sense?

gom

Call_me_al wrote:

I would argue that if someone is using the position for just putting on their cv then they will want to do the best job possible, no? so therefore their best interests and the best interests of the SU would be one in the same? am i making sense?

No I wouldn't. Many actions that a President may have to undertake 'in the best interest of the union' would possbily work against future employment opportunities. Not all actions carried out for the best interests of the union you would want to put on your CV. Occupations, Law Breaking and various forms of dissent is a firm example. Alturism is not rewarding in itself

Chardee MacDennis

i suppose there is that angle...

foxybrowne

ilovemybrick wrote:

so now we kill foxy. with hounds.

whatdoye say we don't

Pet

I say we kill you with foxes. I call dibs on your liver.

cuckoo

Call_me_al wrote:

I would argue that if someone is using the position for just putting on their cv then they will want to do the best job possible, no? so therefore their best interests and the best interests of the SU would be one in the same? am i making sense?

Sadly not always.

Chardee MacDennis

cuckoo wrote:

Sadly not always.

well its unfortuate that no one agress but i would still like to think it true!

Crash

ok, but for instance say that the person who is president is a fianna failer, and is looking to get work after SU stuff with FF - their policies may not agree with SU policies so what he might do for his career would be contrary to what he should be doing (not choosing FF for any reason btw :P)

Chardee MacDennis

but 1. politics is all about giving the people what they want and its not unknown for a policy change within a party because of general opinion.
2. if a president, for example - as this is the real "go on to be a politian" position was to, for example, a great job and re-affirm the relevance of the SU in the daily lives of students, etc, etc, what political party would turn around and say we dont want you affiliated with us because you want free fees, more funding for 3rd level colleges, etc etc...

i know there are more extreme examples i could have taken - but i genuinely think people come into thier positions with open minds and want to do the best for the students no matter what their motivation is.

Pythia

gom wrote:

I asked John McGurk what his prime reason for running was and I was shocked with his honesty.... To put it on his CV???
Surely that would work against him in his cherished Freedom Institute?

How so?

Time Magazine

Call_me_al wrote:

but 1. politics is all about giving the people what they want and its not unknown for a policy change within a party because of general opinion.

If I have learned one thing about politics, it's this:
It's about getting elected, and being re-relected.

That is all.

Although ambition is a good thing, political ambition shouldn't really be put into student politics. It's a dead-end job, really. A political hack would be far better off humping his local TD's leg for the year; and anyone with a half bit of sense knows it.

That said, Neil for President!

Time Magazine

Pythia wrote:

How so?

I'm sure he means the Freedom Institute despise political hacks who do things for their CV's .






Actually I'm still laughing at the thought of that. Bloody eejits. I'm looking forward to going up against those who joined FG at National Conference. It's going to be dirty!

Hitchhiker's Guide to...

feck - that was a waste of two minutes of my life. what a boring, boring thread. the charter is right - no hacking should be allowed. We're not UCD!

anyone want to make a pointed comparison with the 'glory hole' thread? Now, THAT was a fun thread.

Hitchhiker's Guide to...

I'll start the tangent -

Is the glory hole still there?

Was it decorated for Christmas?

Is it lubricated?

Does the size of the actual hole discriminate against the 'more well-hung' man?

Roundtower2

Roundtower2 wrote:

I'll start the tangent -

Is the glory hole still there?

Was it decorated for Christmas?

Is it lubricated?

Does the size of the actual hole discriminate against the 'more well-hung' man?

What relationship do your tangents bear on people going for elections?

[hint: Just say "alleged" and it'll all be good]

ApeXaviour

Roundtower2 wrote:

I'll start the tangent -

Is the glory hole still there?

Was it decorated for Christmas?

Is it lubricated?

Does the size of the actual hole discriminate against the 'more well-hung' man?

In answer to your questions:

-Yes it's still there, see sig

-Yes, with tissue paper.

-No it's not lubricated that I'm aware of, I haven't exactly done a close inspection on it though so I could be wrong.

-Again see sig. I think even a horse would be relatively safe..