The Big L.O.V.E. word

LegacyUser

I've been going out with my boyfriend now for about 14 months. Things were tricky at first, we both played hard to get (particularly him, I only did it because he was playing it cool initially so decided to do the same) but finally gave in and embarked on a really great relationship. The thing is, we have never told eachother we love eachother. Things are great at the moment and we are really happy. But in the heat of the moment or when we are looking into eachothers eyes...I feel like we are both gagging to say it but are holding back because of previous hurts (we have both been cheated on in the past or have had disastrous relationships). We are both very independent people, give eachother lots of space for our interests and friends etc. I feel like I would be giving in if I said it first as in the past I have always been the first to put my heart on my sleeve and blurt it out. However it would be a huge relief for both of us to acknowledge the LOVE thats goin' on! We are both romantic, go out a lot together, buy gifts etc. but this is just something I've been pondering on for a while. Maybe I think it would ruin what we have if someone said it, that the other might back off...should I wait for him to say it?

Seraphina

dont put so much emphasis on a word.
it means nothing compared to the 14 months you've spent together.

lazydaisy

Next time you're in a casual situation with him, like over lunch, drop in this question ever so cavalierly "do you think we're in love?" If he says no you can either say "me neither," or "I think we are." And if he says YES, well then....

The_B_Man

its nothin. its only a word. its like wen ur a kid and the "F" word is the BIG word u cant say. just tell him u love him next time ur cuddlin after a shag or sumtin like. its not a big deal. dont say it all serious tho. just say it like its normal, coz it is!

Nalz

The_B_Man wrote:

its nothin. its only a word. its like wen ur a kid and the "F" word is the BIG word u cant say. just tell him u love him next time ur cuddlin after a shag or sumtin like. its not a big deal. dont say it all serious tho. just say it like its normal, coz it is!

Ah if they mean it its alot more than a word. Its a combination of loadsa things

B_Man - do your project tintin, time is tickin away

AngryBadger

Seraphina wrote:

it means nothing compared to the 14 months you've spent together.

Brilliant point. It's so much more than just a word, but at the same time it's more than just a word. I'd forget about broaching this, it'll happen in its own time, and bringing it up just makes it an issue.

I think the real problem is that you're both a little afraid to trust each other SO MUCH that either of you is willing to be the first to say it. maybe you should have a chat about that, but don't go saying it just to have it said, or put pressure on him to say it for that reason.

jimmycrackcorm

just don't get to the stage where you ask him (like I get asked by other half) " do you love me?" -yes "But are you in love with me?"

That confuses the **** out of me and I still can't figure it out much as she tries to explain it.

Dont be at yourself

Sounds like she's watching too much Sex & The City!

(Also, The correct answer to any of those amibiguous questions is "yes, of course")

Goodshape

jimmycrackcorm wrote:

just don't get to the stage where you ask him (like I get asked by other half) " do you love me?" -yes "But are you in love with me?"

That confuses the **** out of me and I still can't figure it out much as she tries to explain it.

The distinction being that you may love your mother -- but you aren't in love with your mother.

OP - if you want to say it, go ahead and say it. I doubt he's going to run away after 14 months together based on one scary little word.