women headache

LegacyUser

I am in a long distance relationship with a foreign woman. I am going over to see her in her country soon for a few days. I have been seeing her for about 7 months. she lived here for most of that time but she has returned home to finish her phd (2 years away). she has talked about coming over here for the summer. The problem is I met a really nice Irish girl last week. I find it a lot easier to hang around her due to the same culture, personality and I find her more interesting. I still really like the foreign woman.
I am a bit confused, do I fess up to the foreign woman and tell her I have met someone else, thus having a very uncomfortable few days there? or do I not tell her anything and see if it works with the Irish girl? At the moment I have decided to tell neither of them about each other. I have seen a few foreign women over the last few years and i am kind of sick of it. I think I would rather try and build something with the irish girl as she lives here but what if it does not work and i am left with nothing? As in I lose out on two brillant women.

Victor

RegLovesVer wrote:

The problem is I met a really nice Irish girl last week.

You are throwing away your relationship because of someone you met last week?

AngryBadger

If you're having doubts that easily, it's not a relationship. Break up with her, try it with the local bird, ad if that doesn't work out either, them's the breaks. One can either have the cake, or eat the cake, one can't do both

simu

Take some women paracetamol. :v:

Man, break up with the girl abroad. She deserves better than sb as fickle and lukewarm as you seem from your post.

SexeeAussie

I agree with simu....you sound really shallow and blase about the whole relationship with the lady overseas. Do her a favour and break up with her. Sounds like she could do better than you anyway.

Lady_Macbeth

If your girlfriend has been here for most of the time and has just returned home, and you're already looking at another woman (whom you only met last week, I might add), then the chances of your long-distance relationship surviving are slim-to-none.

Your girlfriend is working on a PhD. At least that will benefit her in the long run.

- Lady

Nalz

SexeeAussie wrote:

I agree with simu....you sound really shallow and blase about the whole relationship with the lady overseas. Do her a favour and break up with her. Sounds like she could do better than you anyway.

True boss... EXTREMELY shallow tbh. Not havin a go at ya but sit back 4a min and read your post...you'll see what we mean

Proxy

I've been going out with my girlfriend for four years and we just broke up, and i'm heartbroken and so, so lonely for the first time in ages, maybe ever. I hate the fact there are people like you in the world that **** with women as if thats what they deserve. Grow up.

Nalz

Proxy wrote:

I've been going out with my girlfriend for four years and we just broke up, and i'm heartbroken and so, so lonely for the first time in ages, maybe ever. I hate the fact there are people like you in the world that **** with women as if thats what they deserve. Grow up.

I know what you mean, Im was in similar boat but ya gotta get on with it. Tough but how and ever. Its threads like this will piss ya off but everyone has there probs I suppose

LegacyUser

where do you people come from? I mean these type of things happen all the time. I didn't plan to meet someone else and she has been out of the country for a couple of months now (might have been misleading on that). I had discounted the original perception of boards and in particular the pi section being a haven of dorks and nerds but judging by your "advice" I guess I was wrong

simu

Yeah, insult us enough and we might start telling you what you want to hear instead of honest advice. :rolleyes:

That's so rude. You came here for advice and now you're behaving like a spoiled brat because you didn't hear what you wanted to hear. I understand that these things happen, but what do you want people to say? Dump your girlfriend of 7 months for someone you just met the other day? Sounds stupid doesn't it? If you can't deal with the 'cultural' differences with foreign women, and you'd think you'd have learned this if you'd really been out with some before, then go ahead, dump the girlfriend and stick with Irish girls from now on. I've lived in several countries and I know plenty of people who have long distance relationships, successfully.

Nalz

Olivia Fierce Six-pack wrote:

That's so rude. You came here for advice and now you're behaving like a spoiled brat because you didn't hear what you wanted to hear. I understand that these things happen, but what do you want people to say? Dump your girlfriend of 7 months for someone you just met the other day? Sounds stupid doesn't it? If you can't deal with the 'cultural' differences with foreign women, and you'd think you'd have learned this if you'd really been out with some before, then go ahead, dump the girlfriend and stick with Irish girls from now on. I've lived in several countries and I know plenty of people who have long distance relationships, successfully.

Yeah........so there!

Ah no, we're not tryin to piss ya off, but you did ask for opinions and advice, and the general advice from everyone here is to rethink your thoughts. It happens I'll admit, but your just gonna have to figure that part out for yourself. Its your gut feelin at the end of the day so give it a little time and see where you are then. You wont find the answers here unfortunately.

regards to you sayin the people in PI section are dorks and nerds is a bit much. I think that most people that reply to things like that are generally caring decent people; or people that have been through the mill in one way or another in life. People that dont post here are people that cant be arsed or think theyre above it, or people that never experienced bad shít in there lives or dont like talking about it. So its a little unfair to say that.

Baggly

you guys are being honest but your advice is lacking.

tbh, alot of people seem to take things personally here regarding other peoples break ups. they dont seem to realise that there are two people involved who get hurt and that its as hard to do as it is to receive.

fair enough the first post did seem a bit cruel, but i mean if we were all emotionally mature enough to reason with each other during break ups this forum wouldnt exist.

so my 2c is to break up with the girl who is abroad. and if you break up with the next one and the next one and so on and so forth, start soul searching instead of board searching.

Olivia Fierce Six-pack wrote:

I've lived in several countries and I know plenty of people who have long distance relationships, successfully.

i dont think the statistics are on your side for that one. intercultural relationships can have problems by themselves, and while these can be overcome (yay for the power of love), throwing in distance and the separation that comes with it, makes it extra tough.

but then some people arent in the long term relationship place we all like to think we should be.

tinkerbell

You don't deserve your girlfriend.

Show her some respect and end it with her, so she can move on and find someone who is worthy of her. You don't deserve her anyway with the way you're going on, especially with you wanting to juggle them both.

Get a grip on yourself and tell your girl the truth. As somebody else said, she's doing a PhD & needs to focus on that - which will benefit her in the long run, you won't benefit her with the way you are treating her.

LegacyUser

okay, apologies about my rant. The quality of advice improved after that post. I suppose I am trying to have my cake and eat it and no I am not a bollix. I suppose the thing is, the foreign women is really amazing looking and really cared about me (constantly buying me presents, etc..). so I guess I was hoping that I would feel the same thing, it's just the spark was not there. I have gone out a few times with the Irish girl and she is just great. amazing conversationalist and really interesting. So I guess you were all right about breaking up with the foreign girl. I just don't appreciate the black & white simplified world that some people here live in. My problem i suppose, is that I don't like hurting people (strange sounding by the above and previous - I know) but if you think about it a bit longer it makes sense. I didn't want hurt the foreign girls feelings so I did not break it up with her. I am going to go over and tell her on the last night that I do not want to continue the long distance relationship - dishonest I know but I think it will cause the least pain

Airblazer

for you at least..bet you'll have sex with her for the whole time and just dump her then on the last day...ur a dickhead and a coward

BigArnie

To the OP - just don't go out with either of them. You need to grow up a little before you get involved in any relationship. Whatever about most of your posts on here and the replies you received, this is pretty much the most salient point of the whole thread:

I think I would rather try and build something with the irish girl as she lives here but what if it does not work and i am left with nothing? As in I lose out on two brillant women.

:eek:

AngryBadger

RegLovesVer wrote:

but if you think about it a bit longer it makes sense.

Nope

RegLovesVer wrote:

I didn't want hurt the foreign girls feelings so I did not break it up with her. I am going to go over and tell her on the last night that I do not want to continue the long distance relationship - dishonest I know but I think it will cause the least pain

So you're going to go over for a few days, thus continuing to lead her on, allowing her to think that the relationship is happy, and stable both during the holiday, and between now and then, only to have her feelings **** all over on the last night...

Man, guys like you piss me right off, and I'm a nice, tolerant guy. What you are is a selfish, immature little wankpot. How can you have such little regard for someone else that you would even think about treating them like this??? You're a jerk, i hope the irish girl turns out to be a man.

aidan_walsh

selfish, immature little wankpot

Quoted for truth.