Social outlets for finding the right woman.

foggydew

I have always read of this stereotype of women being sensitive, emotional and looking for a caring guy who doesnt cheat and that they seem to find this very hard to find. There was even an article in the Sunday Independent about this at the weekend. Is this really true though as most girls I seem to come across dont seem to want this at all.

I would consider myself to be - not too bad looking for a guy who has browny reddish hair Unfortunately I know that this is not everyones cup of tea. I am sensitive, can be emotional, very caring and very perceptive and good fun. Love going out and sports and music really. And above all I always have and will be faitful and would expect a partner to be as well.

I know I have alot to offer a girl and I know I would make someone very happy but the last few girlfriends didnt seem to appreciate this at all. I dont think its because I go for a type of girl that is wrong for me as such, as the last few girlfriends were all very different.

I think its more likely that my social circles don't bring me in contact with the type of girl that would suit me. I find it impossible and always have to meet girls in pubs and nightclubs as in fairness they are so loud and not condusive to properly meeting someone. Also I would be shy when it comes chatting girls up, I find it a bit corny and would prefer to meet a girl through normal conversation. And I am not really a shy person but in crowds if I dont know them I can be.

Also the nightclubs are also just drug filled and rough and to be honest I rarely see any girls there that would be suited really. I often see them out walking in the evenings or shopping in town or coming from work and think, wow she might be really nice. But its not like you can just go up and chat them up in that situation. So where do all these girls socialise.

Alot of my friends have settled alot now as we are heading towards our thirties and its hard to get them to go out at weekends. I find that the best way to meet girls would be outside of the pubs situation as I am more relaxed but have no idea what I should do. I have been aware of this for the past few years but now I'm just finished a relationship with what seemed like a really nice girl but in reality was only interested in herself and basically used me and took me for granted and then spat me out. Frustrating. Are there any clubs or sports or societies that I could try.

Any suggestions or advise would be appreciated?

chern0byl

foggydew wrote:

Also the nightclubs are also just drug filled and rough and to be honest I rarely see any girls there that would be suited really. I often see them out walking in the evenings or shopping in town or coming from work and think, wow she might be really nice. But its not like you can just go up and chat them up in that situation. So where do all these girls socialise.

Your self defeatest. Your hardly the only sensitive, not so bad looking, lots to offer person wandering aimlessly around the night club. Genuine kinda people go there too but ultimately i agree that as you get older they dont provide your match.

I would also agree that irish girls would be put off but someone just approaching them on the street[we do it all with alcohol] but this country is so multi-national your options are not limited.


Oh yeah and as for what girls really really want...a genuine(not necessarily nice) guy with a big willy!

the Guru

foggydew wrote:

. I often see them out walking in the evenings or shopping in town or coming from work and think, wow she might be really nice. But its not like you can just go up and chat them up in that situation. So where do all these girls socialise.

Follow them home and stalk them until friday night , then track them for the night , to see where they go out ..... just a suggestion

Charis

As a married woman with lots of girlfriends who are looking for Mr. Right I would say that maybe you need to find a different outlet for meeting people. I have friends who aren't as in to the pub and club scene. Look for clubs, film clubs, dance class, etc. There are clubs and classes out there for a variety of interests. Check dublin.ie for some offerings. frequently you meet someone in a place where you have common interests. I am having a murder mystery for some friends some of whom are wanting to meet someone of the opposite sex. Tell your friends your interested in meeting some nice girls. may they can introduce you.

BTW, None of my friends are concerned with the size of a guy's willy! They are concerned with personality, faithfulness, and caring.

Fast_Mover

imagine...!
can see it now...son/daughter: "so daddy, how did u and mummy meet?"
That would be an interesting story...

back to topic on hand..every time i go to a club i feel there no genuine guys there..(not to say there are any!)..lads are just out for what they want.
Anyhow i think the best way to meet other people are through friends of ur friends...u no the saying "water meets it own level"...so if they acceptable to your friends they could be in theory acceptable to you...that make sense..?

Nalz

Through a mate - good chance, could work both ways though

College/Work - Slight/Good Chance - worked for me!

Bus Stop - worked for me also

Gym/Sport - Slim

Pub - Slim

Night Club - Very Slim

Online - Very Very Slim

[Jackass]

Yeah i gotta agree..the only way is through school/college/work and friends...

Never had a relationship with a random girl from a club...had relations, but never a relationship

(and yes, there are no sincere lads in nightclubs...im completely different in a nightclub than i am normally or even having some social drinks and meeting a girl..)

foggydew

Thanks for the replies. They are appreciated. I've done the work thing haha. Just ended and I am still working with them
Not very pleasent

[Jackass]

been there my friend...absolutely horrible scenario...never crap on your own door step, sooner or later you'll step in it!! I did

Fast_Mover

hate when u get crap on the bottom of your shoes..so hard to get off..and the smell..lol:D

simu

Emotional guys are annoying tbh. Try being emotionally mature instead. An important difference and probably what these newspaper articles really mean.

As for where to go - nightclubs are out but try some of the quieter pubs.

jrey1981

Evening class
Volunteer with a charity or NGO
Friends

foggydew

simu wrote:

Emotional guys are annoying tbh. Try being emotionally mature instead.

I'm not sure what your point is really, whats the difference? I might be emotional in ways but can be very tough emotionally in other ways. Just coz a person admits to being emotional doesn't mean they are emotionally immature. I can only be who I am anyway and that wont change.

Thanks for all the suggestions again.

WhiteWashMan

foggydew wrote:

I'm not sure what your point is really, whats the difference? I might be emotional in ways but can be very tough emotionally in other ways. Just coz a person admits to being emotional doesn't mean they are emotionally immature. I can only be who I am anyway and that wont change.

Thanks for all the suggestions again.

emotional means being unbalanced, bursting into tears at the drop of a hat, suddenly screaming your head off and attacking people becuase youre unhappy about something small, all that sort of good stuff.

i had a girlfriend once who was a bit emotional. bit of a rollercoaster to be honest, with more downs than ups.

being emotional mature means understanding your own emotions.

there is a world of difference between the two.

you can meet people anywhere and everywhere. just dont expect them to come to you. you have to make your own effort and put yourself in the firing line.
classes are a great place to meet people. and your friends mates.
how about your friends parters, surely they have friends you havent met.

Repli

simu wrote:

As for where to go - nightclubs are out

I don't get this, the last 3 girls I was with I met in nightclubs..

foggydew

WhiteWashMan wrote:

emotional means being unbalanced, bursting into tears at the drop of a hat, suddenly screaming your head off and attacking people becuase youre unhappy about something small, all that sort of good stuff.

Haha Okay well to clarify what I meant by sometimes being emotional, I would not be afraid to show emotion, in that I am a person that is not afraid to discuss how I feel which alot of people are not comfortable in doing. I certainly am not unbalanced and very much aware of how I feel and extremely perceptive to how others feel. I would not be afraid to tell someone how I feel for them. Alot of people seem to find that hard to do and in my last two relationships the girls would have rathered I just got on with day to day living and not discuss feelings. Does that make more sense? It was the reason I wrote this. Its a frustration that I have felt that because I can discuss feelings etc I was made to feel it was not normal for a guy and it was not a normal thing which I know its not true.

you can meet people anywhere and everywhere. just dont expect them to come to you. you have to make your own effort and put yourself in the firing line.

Yeah I guess I will have to do that more. I suppose I always feel that they will not be interested. I usually work on the basis of meeting people through whatever social circle and then through knowing them I get a good vibe and then take things further. I dont have enough confidence in my conversational ability with a complete stranger as I can be a little shy but once I know someone I dont shut up. Its hard to change that about myself.

classes are a great place to meet people. and your friends mates.
how about your friends parters, surely they have friends you havent met.

What sort of classes? Nightclasses

Preset No.3

foggydew wrote:

Also the nightclubs are also just drug filled and rough QUOTE]

What a complete load of bollocks!

foggydew

Preset No.3 wrote:

foggydew wrote:

Also the nightclubs are also just drug filled and rough QUOTE]

What a complete load of bollocks!

Wow Thanks for that input. Very helpful.
I am not sure where your living, but I can tell you something though I aint square and know how to enjoy myself but where I live believe me they are full of scumbags and there is drugs everywhere.

BoozyBabe

Well I'm a girl, mid 20's, in niteclubs every weekend & the only type of man I'm interested in is the affectionate, caring, trustworthy type of man that you say you are. SO, there are girls in clubs that are looking for you.

I'd never have a 1 night stand, (just not me) so that's not why I'm at the niteclub.

Although I didn't 1st meet my bf in a club (we were friends for a very long time before hand) before we went out, he was also always in the niteclub looking for someone like me (also affectionate, caring, trustworthy) & also not looking for a one night stand.
So, the are also guys in clubs not just looking for an easy lay

In your case, you just haven't bumped into her yet

Preset No.3

Well then, you should have stated that in the area that you live in has a high crime rate or the clubs that YOU go to are filled with drugs. Just because someone goes to a nightclub does not mean they are going to be E-ed up to the eyeballs! Some of us dont need drugs, and having worked in the business for 18 years havnt come across as much drugs as you would think!

HOWEVER, having worked in the business, it has put me off meeting someone in a nightclub therfore Ive being single for a long time!

foggydew

BoozyBabe
Thanks for the reply.


Preset No.3
I am not going to get in to a debate on drugs and nightclubs. Things might be fine and rosy in Dublin or where ever but not where I come from. I have friends from all over the country and they say the same about where they are from.