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One night stands
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04-01-2006 9:44pm#1
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Looking like Barbie wouldn't help the situation.....
Just kidding!!
Maybe you are giving guys the wrong impression in the first instance? Depends on where you are meeting these guys as well. I am sure that if you met some guy at the library and he asks you out for coffee, he is not expecting to take you home with him for the night????
What I am trying to say is that you will "probably" NOT find too many young men interested in anything long term out at a club at 3am on a Saturday morning.
There are always exceptions to the rule though......
Goodluck with it though.....I admire you for wanting more than just a one nighter....... if you want something long term, you may have to look a bit harder for something decent!!0 -
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The_B_Man wrote:well u can hardly have a meaningful convo in a club, can u?
For me thats pretty much it. Before i'd consider a relationship i'd have to know the girl a bit more. Make sure she's not pschyco...
I've never had a relationship with someone ive had a one night stand with (not that i've had many)...You have to have a crush on someone first and you most definitely have to be on the same level (sense of humour/personality). Don't think you can get there in just one night. And a relationship is not something you look for after you've just had one. 0 -
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>Barbie
Two things about one-night stands and guys.
*If a girl rides you after a few hours of meeting you, you're bloody happy about it but you know in the back of your mind that if you do end up going out with her and she's out with her mates on the piss, it's not gonna take a lot of effort for another bloke to get her in the sack.
*Loads of guys will shag girls on a one night stand that they'd never go near for a relationship.Basically, they fancy them enough on the night after a few, but not enough for a repeat performance and deffo not enough for a relationship.
Best way,ideally, is to hold out and give them your number and wait till the first or second 'date'. But when you're pissed and horny, all plans tend to go out the window
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You may be just kidding but it's true! If the OP is anything like her online profile suggests then this could be the problem. Most guys dont want one of these bottle blonde, fake tanned, mini skirt wearing girls as their girlfriend.SexeeAussie wrote:Looking like Barbie wouldn't help the situation..... Just kidding!!
As for the whole "why is it OK for guys to sleep around but girls cant" debate, IMO it's because the guy is traditionally the hunter and the girl is the prey. The hunter has no respect for prey that doesn't put up a fight. Shagging a bird that you just met is like shooting fish in a barrel.0 -
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OfflerCrocGod wrote:
I deem SexeeAussie*'s scintillating intimation to be a capital proposal. Are you planning on going to Ozzie soon?
*Truly captivating name, are you free......of a boyfriend? Any chance of a shag? Drink maybe?
OfflerCrocGod, you make me laugh.....great name too BTW....
My comment was not insinuating that 'I' am like that, but I have been told (and from my experience) that Australian women are not backward in coming forward! If we want a bloke, we will pursue them. It is not always the man doing the chasing, there are plenty of women out 'on the pull' as you say over there.
My opinion is if you want something, go out and get it!! If it's casual sex you want, in theory it should be a piece of piss to find....if you want a relationship, then refrain from being a skank and you are in with a chance!!!0 -
ye most lads get the impression that their life is over once they have a girlfriend but in fairness I have witnessed some of my mates ways with their fell eg,whipping them into shape and bragging about just exactly how much power they can exert over their fell
I myself love independence in a relationship but most blokes love independence altogether
they don't want to feel obligated because that in itself if not fulfilled leads to hurt feelings fights and tension in relationships all of which to go through is not fun:(
so I can understand to a certain degree when they say I just like doing my own thing and having a laugh....:p
because I'm basically the same.
just to clarify im not against relationships I love it when im with someone but I can see the point with fellas and their one night stands ive been known to succumb every now and then but im not into them myself totally 0 -
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sillysausage wrote:I was seeing this guy for a while, we never slept together or anything, but we would hook up every now and then, anyhows, someone asked me if I would ever go out with this guy on a full time basis, and my answer was no.
This guy had shagged his way around Ireland, he had slept with 4 of the girls I worked with (including the boss and one of my mates) and 7 of the girls I went to college with, thats not including all the random women that I didn't know, and I had no interested in being another notch on that bedpost.
Its the same for guys, a girl who sleeps around is worth shagging, but not worth getting serious with.
That might seem harsh, and I probabaly could have sugar coated it a bit, but the jist would have been the same.
That's pretty upfront, coffee? 0 -
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qBot wrote:Not trying to insult you but handing it out on the first night just gives out the wrong impression.chucky the tree wrote:THe chances of getting a relationship from a one night stand are very very slim. Basically fellas think girls who have a one-night stand are sluts.Darobot wrote:*If a girl rides you after a few hours of meeting you, you're bloody happy about it but you know in the back of your mind that if you do end up going out with her and she's out with her mates on the piss, it's not gonna take a lot of effort for another bloke to get her in the sack.
Seriously, these attitudes always make me laugh. Who really thinks this way, honestly. Well I've a theory on that, I reckon that the majority of guys who do think this way are one of or a combination of 3 things.
1. Very young and immature, and therefore unable to deal with the realities of an adult situation
2. Very insecure in themselves and their abilities/merits, and believe that the only reason this girl has agreed to this is because they would have done so with anybody who asked and therefore is untrustworthy. Of course the irony that their standards are so low that they would be with someone like this is completely lost on them.
3. Unable to get a girl/woman themselevs, and when faced with these situations choose to ridicule people who are involved in them. (this last one may be a bit harsh, but I think there are a subset of people who fall into this one)
I'm a guy and I've had opportunities to have one night stands, more often than not they don't end up as one night stands because if I like the girl enough to go home/bring her home at the end of the night then I like her enough to meet up for dinner/drinks afterwards. There have been situations where this hasn't happened, but they've been few and far between and always because a dual decision was made that it was better not to pursue it.
I have an equal amount of respect for a girl who does sleep with me on the first night as I have for one who doesn't providing she is doing it because she wants to rather than feels that she has to, or it's expected, or any other nonsense that people get into their heads. If I get the impression that the scenario involves any of the above then I tend to walk away anyway.
and maybe I'm just arrogant but if a girl decides to sleep with me, I tend to believe it's because of attraction between us and my natural charm rather than think "oh well, she obviously does this with everybody, do I really want to be involved with someone like that?" I like sex, generally speaking I think (hope) my partners have liked sex with me, it's refreshing to meet girls who are liberated enough to decide that they want to have sex when they want it, not when society dictates they should.
What I find funniest about these threads is that generally speaking the guys who are talking about girls being sluts/easy/not relationship material are the very guys who will either drop a girl because she doesn't sleep with them, or be with other girls in the meantime because the "relationship" isn't real until you've slept together. They are also the guys (which is the majority of guys really) who have no problem with sleeping with someone within hours of meeting them and seeing that as perfectly acceptable behaviour. Where they differ from mature, well-balanced, confident and decent men is their rose-tinted approach that what's good for the gander isn't good for the goose...a mentality I will never understand.
/off-topic
On-Topic
I don't know the OPs age but generally guys in their late teens to mid twenties don't want to get too bogged down in serious relationships right from the off. they will however do their best to try and get any girl they find attractive into bed. we can't help it, it's built into us, the whole procreate subconcious reaction is something that we can't (and mostly don't want to) control.
If you want to meet guys for relationships, then you should try joining clubs where you have an interest, hanging out in quiet bars where a conversation is possible rather than loud bars where you can't even hear yourself think. You will meet guys in pubs and clubs that want relationships, it's just harder to seperate the wheat from the chaff there 0 -
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Some women like men to be experienced Kersh
OP, what strikes me most about your post is the "txtspk" language in which it's posted and the "barbie girl" username. Neither inspire much confidence tbh, from the off you give the impression that education is something to be scorned and that you want to be the typical pneumatic Californian blonde. The first will put off any educated man, the second any with taste.
No man (that's not having a mid-life crisis) wants to go out with/marry a bimbo. You're probably not one, but the impression you give in your posts here is that you are. If that's the same impression you give off IRL, I'm guessing that's why the guys are gone in the morning.0 -
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Sleepy wrote:OP, what strikes me most about your post is the "txtspk" language in which it's posted and the "barbie girl" username. Neither inspire much confidence tbh, from the off you give the impression that education is something to be scorned and that you want to be the typical pneumatic Californian blonde. The first will put off any educated man, the second any with taste.
The "txtspk" and "barbie girl" username may suggest that the OP is young, and may be she is getting in a bit too deep for her age. I dunno
Anyway, first off, i'm a 22 year old male. I think it's a load of bullsh!t that a person can't meet a gf/bf in a nightclub. It maybe more difficult than a quiet bar or other social setting, but it can be done. If u meet a girl in a nightclub and you think she's nice, get her number, and arrange to meet again, this time maybe in a quiet pub, find a table in a quiet corner, so u can have a good conversation, and get to know each other. All in all, a nightclub can be a good place to initially meet a girl, but if you want to see if a relationship can develop, you should try and meet up under a different setting.
Getting a bit more on topic now. If a girl is offering the opportunity of having sex after just meeting her, I take up the offer. If you refuse you'll get nothing and she might not want to meet up again. If you accept, well at least you'll get sex , and who knows, maybe the possibility of meeting up again, and starting a possible relationship, if you want. 0 -
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