unruley child

miju

bit of advice would be handy here:

my son is 4 and he's generally very well behaved, however, lately he's been acting up when he's going to bed and generally not listening when we call. my other half is a bit laxadazy on punishing him but i've pretty much reached the end of my tether so now what i do is if he doesnt listen to me i take a toy / something of value to him as punishment and it usually seems to settle him down.

this seems to be working a little bit only problem is that now im running out of stuff to take off him and i dont want him to not have any stimulus at all so im kinda hoping someone here would have some suggestions on how to control him a bit better and to get him back into a routine of going asleep without us having to battle him and having to stay in the room with him all the time

thanks

Celticfire

Maby give him back the toys (one by one )when he does something good or something he is asked to do by you?

miju

i was thinking of doing that, but (and im not being the typical parent) my kid is way ahead of his years and im a bit worried he'll think he's won and gotten his way

Khannie

Yeah, I'd defo offer the return of the toys as a reward for good behaviour....but let the child know that the return is achievable as a reward for good behaviour. That way you give two reasons for the child to be good: 1) threat of punishment 2) pleasure of toy return.

Make sure to offer plenty of encouragement when returning the toys to reinforce the good behaviour.

Supernanny does it all the time (I know that sounds cheesy, but by god does her methodology work).

miju

ahhhh i get you now im gonna try that i reckon that should work a treat actually, thanks alot guys

luckat

Of course he's won - but he's won by being good! And that's what you want, so you've won!

In general, though, he sounds as if (a) he's discovered that being bold is a great way to get attention, and (b) he's suffering a bit of pre-Christmasitis.

It usually works much better to watch out for good behaviour and give lots of attention for that, rather than reacting more strongly to bad behaviour. Do that and he'll be newly ruly!