In my postion...

LegacyUser

What would you do?

It's another tale of the "screwing up with a girl" but i've seriously messed up and don't know what to do!

So i'll try to give you a summary of the exact events: Guy (me)early 20's gets job, meets load of new people, friends & one particuarly stunning girl, also early 20's...about 100 girls work in my building, most around early 20's, and she'd easily be top 1 or 2 in a best looking girl competition!! I don't mean to toot my own horn, but beep-beep!

[]ok i just wrote a fricken essay there about every little detail..but you dont care about that, so i'll re-write this as brief as possible... []

average looking guy meets stunning girl...they get on really well...after about 2 weeks on a night out she kisses him briefly at bar...he decides he's not gonna let that slip and later in night kisses her...they end up going home together...they talked that weekend via txt, but on monday things were really weird between them..he dosent let on to the lads anything happend...he hears rumours she really likes him...he asks her out for a drink...they have good time...things in work are going really well with her...asks her out again, they have a great time...he's now convinced she really likes him and is chuffed...christmas party she didnt go...i had good time ..nothing too incriminating...she's slightly distant....2nd christmas party guy get's george best on his stag party drunk...makes complete fool of himself..cant really remember much...maybe its worse in his head, but has flashbacks of saying some really pathetic stuff to work mates, and knows something really bad happend with girl..think i was pestering her for a while...may have asked her to go out with me, and was basicly a muppet....spoke to different girl in work, she said im really beating myself up about this and forget it...girl forgives me and is actually pretty cool about it...guy hears rumours of ex-b/f been txtin her...things are more weird between us now in work than that first monday a short month ago...i cringe on cue when i hear my alarm clock in the morning...it's better when we're together....

Are these people consouling me just to make me feel better and its actually as bad as i think? Is guy and girl well and truly dead and burried? Why was it that when i was cautious things were great, when i let my guard down i got fu<ked over...i only have myself to blame, retorical question...does anyone have a number for AA? What's a good way to stop feeling shame, or put on a front despite the fact you are mortified?

Believe it or not, that's way shorter than the essay...
please comment, whatever you think...i value all opinions on this regardless of content, i can't talk to anyone about this because in a round about way, anyone i know is potentially involved....big office..

Victor

xmasparty wrote:

..guy ...guy ...guy ...guy ...guy ...guy ...

Is that you Pigman?

Look, play it by ear, something further may or may not happen. At this time consider yourself 1-0 up.

hullaballoo

You're a lucky BAHstard to be honest.

I've bet the shit out of myself on occasion on a few times and reckoned I messed things up with others (usually friends), but if they're worth their salt, they reckognise that everyone gets drunk, acts the maggot etc.

I'd say your best bet is to forget about it now, don't harp on about it with everyone, just be a cocky fcuk, and ask that girl out for another drink. €20 says she'll say yeah.

LegacyUser

I wouldn't listen to the last poster. There are times to be cocky and times most definitely not to be. You have to be very careful how you use the cocky card cos if you show a bit too much of it, it will backfire.

padser

Basically if you are the kind of person who gets mad drunk, and she is the kind of person who holds stuff u do when hammered against you. Then it wouldnt have worked out.

On the other hand, if she is cool with it, and just basically thinks 'well he made as ass of himself, but he was drunk', then you are grand.

My basic point would be that you may as well just go for it and ask her out, she says no, it will prob solve awkwardness in long term, she says yes, happy days!

Khannie

General sentiment is to just ask her out again, and I'd agree with that. Doesn't sound like you totally messed up. Ask her when you do go out with her again though. Make it clear that you remember very little and that it wasn't you. Next time.....keep an eye on the sauce levels.

Good luck.

WhiteWashMan

sounds like you are completely over-analysizing every little thing that has happened and that has been said and done.

the girl may like you, but that doesnt mean she has to pay you attention every time you stroll into the room. she may actually enjoy chatting to other people.

if she has kissed you and been out for a few dates, then i suspect she may actually enjoy your company.

why not just ask her out for a meal? see is she wants to go out somewhere nice in the evening and then go to a pub and have a few pints.

if you get that far again, before you split up for the evening (if you do) then why not suggest youve had a great time and see if she is up for another date. or maybe ask her what she is doing for new years eve, or if you have some plans, why not suggest that you would love it if you meet up?

not everyone goes out for a beer and then figures they should be in a full scale relationship and starts planning the kids

just relax, take deep breath, and just think about the next step.

youre trying to think of step 15 before you get to step 2 tbh.

ivuernis

xmasparty wrote:

about 100 girls work in my building, most around early 20

Count yourself lucky... I wish I worked there. Less than 10 in my company and all married except me... feel the odd one out sometimes.

LegacyUser

Sorry it takes me a few days to write back, I dont have a computer, so I have to write this in my mates gaf on the sly...

Anyway thanks for the comments...here's a bit of an update: the party was on the friday, so I tried to get a damage report all that weekend to find out what I did, but any of the lads I talked to were quite pissed also and say they don't remember what I was saying, they just know there was a lot of sh!t with me & this girl..It worries me no-one will actually tell me what I said, but I think the jist of it is that I got really overly friendly and was professing my love to her or some sh!t...

I mean I like her, don't get me wrong, but I think I just came on really strong and the worst part is I took her outside for a "chat" so who knows what the fu<k i could have said out there!!?

I don't think I'm handling this the best either...On the Monday I was so humiliated, I litterally avoided her like the plauge! I think she thought it was funny at first, but I think I made much to much of a big deal out of this...I don't handle humiliation well...also I think did some other stuff to someone else in work, but no-one knows about that, so I wont go into it...let's just say I have more crap on my plate, so work is becoming a minefield...who knows who you'll bump into in the lift...

But now were back to talking in our group of mates and having a laugh, but there's deffenatly no closeness there like before and I can't help being awkward around her...we were all out the other night & I never said a word to her..we have the same friends, so I can't ask her out again either, what about this ex thing? I'm awkward enough around her as it is....Do I really need to make it worse by having a rejection on the cards also?

Somebody pass the job section will ya?

Lads I know I'm being a fu<king idiot about this, it's pathetic, but i need to sort my head out before we go back to work or i'll screw things up for good! What's the plan of action?

(also sorry if i mess around in my posts a little bit, I'm just trying to keep it light-harted, but this is a serious problem.....)

LegacyUser

By the way lads, i forgot to mention i sent her a happy christmas txt and she never wrote back!!

haha, bitch!

little miss

have you tried apologosing for being a bit of a drunken idiot that night to her? Usually its better to tackle this thing head on and get them over and done with. If I were you I'd either try and talk to her next time you're out and just say something like sorry if I annoyed you at the party, I was just drunk and don't really remember it... You'd enjoyed the times you'd been out together, and would see like to go for a drink sometime? Try and be light hearted about it... If you mope around and ignore her she'll just think you're an idiot. Harsh but true. If she says no, well things can't be more awkward between you two than they are now. Just say something like fair enough, and I hope this won't make things awkward between us when we're out with work friends... Chances are you'll then at least be on speaking terms. If you continue to ignore her, you'll just kick yourself in the future and she'll think you're immature... Ball really seems to be in your court...

chump

It sounds to me like you've blown it...
Not to worry though eh? There's another 99 girls you can sample!

The_B_Man

some ppl are busy over xmas. dont worry bout the reply. see wat shes doin for new years.

Zombrex

To be honest with you if you were acting a complete tw@t at the Christmas party with her (no idea what you did, but the fact you don't remember isnt good) I would say you have blown it. I am a fella, but from friends who are girls I can tell you there is nothing worse for a girl than a fella pissed off his head making an arse of his self. In fact as a bloke I would say there is nothing worse than a girl pissed off her head making an arse of herself, so I imagine the same is true in reverse.

If you are pissed, sluring your words, falling over and confessing your undying love to her at the party is it a surprise that she is a bit arkward around you the next day?

My advice, leave it for a while. You have probably blown it, and if you were really bad at the party it is beyond saving, but if there is a possibility of saving it you coming on really strong and needy now ain't going to help. She might not be mad at you but she might be thinking "what was i thinking" You want to change that, not confirm what she is feeling.

Play it cool, prepare yourself for the fact that that might be it, and for god sake stop drinking so much